Brian's Ramblings

2008-03-24T20:25:00.003-10:00

The Loss of a Friend

(In respect to the family, I won't mention the name of my friend, until such time I feel it is appropriate)

You never realize the impact that someone has on your life until that person is gone. Tonight, learning of the passing of a friend caused me to take a step back to reflect.

Friends help to shape who we are. They're always there, we expect them to be there, and they can count on us being there for them.

The friend who has passed on leaves such a great contribution that no one probably has thought of before.

It is because of my friend, the Wheelchair Bowling League has been such a vital part of my life for over 14 years.

It is because of my friend, that his family dedicated so much time and energy into ensuring that persons with disabilities had an outlet for fun every Saturday.

It is because of my friend, many persons with disabilities got to enjoy life outside of their respective homes for a few hours, enjoying fellowship with one another.

It is because of my friend, many young people had the opportunity to interact with persons with disabilities, by volunteering each week to help with the bowling league.

It is because of my friend, people are more aware that persons with disabilities ARE capable and love to have fun just like anyone else.

It is because of my friend, I am inspired to help others. I don't want any fanfare, I just want to help others....just like my friend and his family have done for so many years.

I'll miss my friend....it won't be the same at the Ft. Shafter Wheelchair Bowling League...but it WILL continue. I promise.

Thanks my friend, thanks.

-Brian

2007-11-24T19:37:00.001-10:00

2007 Outright WAC Champs

How sweet it feels to be able to type those very words: 2007 WAC Champs!

I am so very grateful to be a small part of the Warrior Football team/ohana. From day one, we believed that we would become a very special team! The players made it happen.

It has been an unbelievable experience to be around the team each and every day. Being around the coaching staff has been very special as well. Each week, Coach Mack prepares the defense to defend our opponents as best we can. We know that our job is to get the ball back to the offense, the greatest offense in the nation, led be Coach Jones and company. Colt Brennan IS the best quarterback in the nation, hands down.

From Coach Miano, Coach Lee, Coach Lumpkin, and Coach Reinebold, I've witnessed the dedication and attention to detail that has enabled the players to be as prepared as possible with each game.

Coach Terrence Duffield, otherwise known as Duff, has been a true pleasure to work with. There we are each day, side by side, sharing a small office. We are polar opposites of each other, but we get along VERY well. He cracks me up, and I crack him up....it's a great relationship that we share. He's done SO much for this team, sacrificing a LOT to be here in Hawaii as a Graduate Assistant. Without Coach Duff, we wouldn't be nearly as good of a defense as we are today!

Together, Duff and I put together the weekly scouting report. He has far more experience and knowledge when it comes to x's and o's, so he does the bulk of the report. I do the best that I can on what I CAN do.

There's no doubt in my mind that Duff will become an excellent coach at the D1-A level. If it's not Hawaii, it'll be somewhere else. But his dedication and passion to do things right will get him to where he wants to be, wherever/whatever that may be.

I am so proud to be able to call myself a Warrior! I've never won any championship before, nor have I won anything this big in life. I finally can say, I'm a winner. I look forward to the day that we receive our WAC Championship rings. I'll cherish that ring until the day I die, and will wear it proudly!

Thank you to all of the many, many fans who supported the Warriors throughout the year, not just this year but from years past as well. YOU make us what we are today!

Again, I want to thank Coach Jones, Coach Reinebold, and Coach Mack who enabled this kid from Hawaii, who loved UH football all of his life, to have a role in such a great program. I will NEVER forget this experience and will cherish it always. I look forward to continuing to be a part of this program, as I feel that this is where I belong.

School and the PhD program in Special Education will always be there, but this is MY time to live out the dream of being a Warrior! But we'll see what happens when that time comes and decisions need to be made.

We still have another game next Saturday, against a big time foe from the PAC-10, the University of Washington Huskies. Despite their record, they will pose a BIG challenge to us, literally and figuratively! They're a very big and physical team, who will just pound and pound on you, hoping that you cave in.

But we ARE the Warriors! We will rise up to the challenge yet again and fight until we can't fight no more. We BELIEVE! What more could you ask for?!

A Warrior for life,
Brian Kajiyama

2007-11-22T14:30:00.000-10:00

CSTV Video

Here's a video produced by CSTV. I take great pride in being a Warrior!

2007-08-12T21:20:00.000-10:00

GRADUATION 2007

I have a masters of education! I never thought I would even utter such words, coming out of high school. My intentions were to simply earn a bachelor's degree and go and make the bling bling, maybe in the field of computers.

My journey through my masters in education from counseling and guidance was not a smooth road, which ice skaters could simply glide through. The path was made more of terrain than a 4-runner might enjoy navigating, full with bumps and dips and hurdles along the way. It's a good thing that I had good shock absorbers, in the form of my family, friends, and mentors.

I post this blog exhausted, but VERY proud of where I am in life. I will not sit and bask in the glory, however. It is time to tackle new horizons, open up new opportunities, and continue to strive for excellence! My new journey will be 4-years, and will entail the pursuit of a PhD in Exceptionalities from the Special Education department at the University of Hawaii at Manoa.

Another exciting venture will take the form of being a Graduate Assistant with the UH Warrior football team this season. We're in the midst of fall camp, a time when you get tested mentally and physically, in order to prepare for the season ahead.

We WILL be a great team, I have no doubt in my mind. People will KNOW Hawaii has a football program. We ARE the Warriors.

Until next time,
Brian Kajiyama, M.Ed.

2007-06-20T18:48:00.000-10:00

Right place, right time
(Reposted from WarriorsHaka.com, 6/18/2007)

I had just completed my Statement of Objectives for the PhD program in Exceptionalities from the Department of Special Education. What a long and draining process that was...And I was expecting a break after completing my M.Ed. in Guidance and Counseling?! Who was I kidding?!

I felt bad not being around the football office. After all, I was given the chance of a lifetime. I will be a Graduate Assistant for the Warriors this season! It still seems surreal just to say that! In any case, I hadn't been in that office for a good week, as I focused on getting my application in by June 15. I knew it had to be good. I WILL get into the program.

I took the 5 minute stroll down to lower campus after receiving a friendly message from Coach Jeff Reinebold, asking me where the heck I was?!

"Do you still love football?" Jeff asked me.

"Jeff, you know I love football! I was busy getting my application in to the PhD program."

"B, you know you're gonna get in, don't even worry about it! Just get your ass down here so we can get better!"

With that, I knew I had been away for too long! I missed seeing my friends, my buddies, the Warrior ohana. I immediately see Coach Dennis McKnight, exiting his office, which has a curtain made of wood stranded together.

"Hey buddy nice to see you, haven't seen you in ages!" Dennis says to me.

We shook hand and I found my way into Jeff's office. "Hey, look who's here! Boy, B I thought I would have to call the Missing Person's office to come find you!"

We exchange pleasantries and we sit and look at some video on a potential recruit. "Boy, that guy can lay some major wood," I said to Jeff.

"Yep, he's definitely a player!"

Kekoa, Jeff's son, comes in. "B! My main man. How are you doing?! I haven't seen you in ages!"

Okay, I definitely WAS away too long....

Na Koa was having a fundraiser that night. I had no plans to go, I thought I'd enjoy a quiet night at home. "Hey B, are you going to this magic show tonight?"

"No, I wasn't planning to go."

"Why don't you come along with me," Jeff says, "all the coaches are going."

"Okay, I'll make it down there!"

Right about that time, Kekoa remembers how fun my office is at upper campus, one that I share with a professor, Dr. James Skouge, in Special Education. The office looks feels like a different realm, as there are no high lights on, only simple lamps with artwork from the Pacific decorating the walls. In the office we have a gaming system, which rarely gets used, except during the summer months. Kekoa asks if he can come back to my office with me.

Approximately 30 minutes is spent with him trying to convince his dad that he would be fine if he wasn't dropped off at home before the fundraiser. Of course, Kekoa wins the battle. Children have an uncanny ability to make illogical things seem like perfect sense!

Kekoa and I spend the rest of the afternoon having a grand time being kids! I enjoy his company and he views me as a "big brother," which is cool since I've always wanted a brother but ended up with twin-sisters (who are great, by the way!).

.....................

The fundraiser was a great experience. There were so many Warrior fans there, who are so very passionate about this team, this ohana! No other program in America has the support that we, the Warrior ohana, enjoy.

During the mixer before the magic show in the Magic of Polynesia showroom by John Hirokawa, Jeff and I sit and enjoy pupus together. A young man comes up, and introduces himself as the pastor of a church in Kapolei. He mentions something to the effect of enjoying the story that was in the newspaper about Jeff, Coach Jerry Glanville, and I last December. It really impacted him to see how much of a friendship and genuine love for one another we shared, and how fortunate we both were. Jeff and I could not have agreed more.

Then the pre-show began. Coach June Jones showed a DVD that he shares with recruits that highlights the pounding we put on BYU a couple years ago. Chad Owens was truly "Mighty Mouse" on that day, Nick Rolovich could not make a bad throw, and Pisa Tinoisamoa made the BYU QB wish he hadn't set foot on Aloha Stadium's turf. The crowd cheered as they watched this video on a screen.

Chicken skin!

The video ends and Coach Jones starts introducing the next DVD, and he stops and says, "Where's Brian? Come up here, B." I make my way up to the front, weaving through the crowd, as Coach Jones introduces me, ending with "Brian will be a GA with us this year." I still haven't got used to hearing that! The audience enjoyed a little highlight video of the 2007 recruits, which I produced using highlights from each recruit. It was surreal watching this video in front of fans, who cheered as new Warriors showed what they could do this year and years to come.

Chicken skin!

The magic show was great. John Hirokawa did an amazing job in providing a wonderful variety of entertainment, combining magic with Polynesian traditions, like hula, Tahitian dance, and fire knife dancing.

After a long day, I finally got home and took time to reflect upon my day. I was at the right place, at the right time, again.

2007-03-06T23:41:00.001-10:00

Who are YOU?

You think its easy for me just to live life;
You think its easy for me to just go and do;
You think I'm endlessly brave and strong;
You think I'm unemotional and unattached.

I can be all of these things;
At times I am all of these things.

But there are days when its not the case;
Do you think I'm still "cool" on such days?
It doesn't matter what YOU think
Because I live my life for me, not YOU.

Who are you?
That's a question I ask myself
Each and everyday.
I try to see who you are,
With my near-perfect vision.
But clarity never reveals itself.

Why must you be so vague?
Why must you be so tempting?
Why must you be so caring?
Why must you be so intertwined in my being?

I go to bed dreaming of you.
I go to school to reach you.
I sit outside under the sun thinking of you.
I type every paper cognizant of you.
I drink cautiously as I ponder you.

You may have a hook on me,
But I have the ultimate control.
Sure, you may get the better of me at times
But I won't remain defeated.

I will rise up and fight again;
To greater heights and beyond.

I love you.
I hate you.
I adore you.
I despise you.

Who are you?
You are
POTENTIAL.

Click here for video version:

2007-03-06T19:36:00.000-10:00

2007 Warrior Football Recruits Highlights

Thought I would post the 2007Hawaii Warrior football highlight video on my blog, just in case people don't visit the official University of Hawaii athletics site.

This is the video....Enjoy:

Until next time,
Brian

2006-11-28T00:57:00.000-10:00

Blogging a Blog

People often don't appreciate the effort required to maintain a blog on a regular basis. Obviously, I have done a poor job in modeling good blogging as seen in my sporadic posts.

This entry is composed in reaction to having this blog mentioned in another blog, one of a larger caliber, The Warrior Beat. This came as a surprise to me as I expected to lay under the radar as I went about with my involvement with the Warrior football team.

As I mentioned in my response post, it has truly been a wonderful opportunity to be a small part of the team and enjoy the successes experienced over the season. How many other people can say they work alongside Coach Jerry Glanville in HIS office without getting the ol' boot?!

I'm responsible for entering the data into the computer program that aids in scouting the opponent (for the defense) that we play next week. For this week, Oregon State film had been broken down and entered by last Thursday. I take pride in doing this work, all on my own time, while juggling classes and a graduate assistantship with the University's Center on Disability Studies. I would estimate that each game takes at least 2 hours to enter into the computer's system, and on average we breakdown at least 2 games of an upcoming opponent.

Coaches George Lumpkin, Cal Lee, Rich Miano, Jeff Reinebold, and Glanville himself first watch the footage and provide me with the data to input into the computer. Down and distance, yardage, hash, personnel, formation set, play, and result of play are all accounted for when entered into the computer system. The computer program then allows us to capture specifics, which then can provide insight on a team's tendencies. For instance, perhaps a team might run their red personnel set only for short yardage situations and might use only run formations given that personnel. This information can prove very helpful when preparing a gameplan to stop an opponent's offense.

In case you're curious, Dan Morrison is the offense's computer guy. In the ideal world, a program would have a specific person assigned to doing ONLY breakdowns and entering the data into the computer. But the University's program isn't as wealthy as other schools and can't afford any more positions than they currently have. So we make the best out of what we DO have, committed individuals willing to do anything to ensure the team is in the best chance to succeed.

I'll write more later, but it is after 1:30 in the morning, Tuesday, and I have to be up in a few hours. I'll enjoy morning practice and then will head up to the football office to "get better," as Coach Reinebold likes to say!

Thanks for reading and feel free to read my older entries...they're interesting reads (I think!).

2006-08-28T00:12:00.000-10:00

2006-06-28T07:10:00.000-10:00

Tools for Life Keynote Plenary Session

On Friday, June 9, 2006, I delivered the following presentation at the Tools for Life plenary session moderated by Mark Obatake.

Here is the link to a podcast version of my presentation (Mahalo Dr. Skouge for hosting it on your .Mac account!): My views on disability law and policy

Here is the transcript of the speech:
My name is Brian Kajiyama and I feel honored to be part of such a distinguished and knowledgeable panel this morning.

Today I would like to touch upon 3 main points: How I have benefited from disability laws and policies, the idea of universal design, and lastly I would like to briefly address the future of disability law and policy.

To begin I would like to say that disability laws and policies are great and I have benefited in many ways from them. The main piece of legislation that I am most appreciative of is the assistive technology act of 1998 that stemmed from the Rehabilitation act of 1973.

This act has enabled me to receive assistance to obtain my augmentative communication device that you see and hear me using today to speak to you.

I've had this augmentative communication device with speech output for only about 3 years now, which is amazing considering I'm now in graduate school about to complete my masters in education from the counseling education department in rehabilitation counseling.

I went through my whole undergraduate journey without any device, relying on paper and pen communications to get by in school and everyday life. This was fine but definitely left much to be desired as communication was not a simple process, it took much effort on my part and on the part of the person I was communicating with. People would almost hesitate to ask me any follow up questions knowing that they would need to wait yet again for my reply in written form.

Almost 3 years ago I began to work with doctor Jim Skouge, a professor of special education at the university of Hawaii. Jim was not shy, about telling me that I seriously needed to consider obtaining a device with speech output. People respond to voice, he would constantly stress to me. Jim was right.

After some time of searching, I finally found a device I liked, the DynaWrite manufactured by DynaVox.

I receive services from the division of vocational rehabilitation and as part of my individualized plan for employment, my counselor and I agreed upon listing that VR would help me obtain an augmentative communication device when I found one that I was comfortable in using. Well that time had come.

I was ready to have my voice be heard. So I excitedly contacted my VR counselor and explained that I had found a device and requested their assistance in obtaining one.

Instead of this being a joyous moment, this began the long and arduous process of my obtaining the second most important piece of assistive technology in my life, with the most important piece being my motorized chair of course.

I believe the entire process took about 2 and a half years before I obtained a device that I could call my own. Perhaps this was the standard for timely delivery of service that VR used, I really don't know nor do I really care.

I did everything that VR asked of me, jumping through every hoop and hurdle that was placed in front of me.

I was extremely patient, as I felt that I had to work within the system and with the policies that were in place that were designed to help me. Well, after some time I finally grew frustrated and decided to release some of this frustration in written form through a blog, which is essentially an electronic journal that is web based.

To make a long story short, the VR administration caught wind of this blog after a good friend and former d cab member, Sterling Krysler, decided to step in and advocate on my behalf.

Sterling called the higher ups in VR and suggested that they read my blog to which they replied, "What is a blog?"

After careful explanation, they finally red my blog and immediately proclaimed that what I was going through should never happen to anyone. The conclusion to the story without getting into further detail is that I received my DynaWrite within a week's time after that and I am definitely appreciative of VR for that as it has enabled me to do much more in life including being a graduate student at the university of Hawaii.

I am proud to be a student in the college of education's counseling education program and I strive to be the best student possible.

However, this warm and fuzzy feeling is not reciprocated.

Despite having the Americans with disabilities act of 1990, which ensures that all public places are accessible to persons with disabilities, I have absolutely no access to my departmental office because it is located on the second floor of a building that has no elevator.

I recently met with the vice chancellor of the college and respectfully explained the situation. The response I received was one of these, "Really I had no idea that there was no elevator let me check into that."

Well, having no access to my own departmental office which has student mailboxes and a small library of resources that students are encouraged to use conjures up feelings of being disjointed, feeling un welcomed, and essentially feeling like a second class student who the department could care less about.

We as persons with disabilities deserve to be treated with respect from all segments of society.

I live in Kailua on the windward side of Oahu and occasionally enjoy rolling down into the town, as it is only about a 10-minute stroll from my house.

There is a bridge that leads into Kailua town and they have done construction to improve the integrity of the structure. Despite making improvements, the path on the side of the bridge that pedestrians walk on is about 2 inches too narrow for a wheelchair to navigate.

Consequently in order for a person in a wheelchair to cross the bridge, he or she would need to go into the street with the traffic as that is the only pathway available for a wheelchair user to use in order to get into the town. Each trip into the town and back turns into a game of Frogger if you will, as the person using a wheelchair needs to time it just right to avoid being hit by on coming traffic. Luckily, I have not met the same fate as that of a frog who loses in the Frogger video game but it doesn't seem right that a person with a disability would need to risk his or her life just to take a trip into town.

I keep telling my family that it seems the only way a change will be made to the bridge is if and when someone gets hit.

So what do my 3 stories illustrate?

What I hope that you got from them is that it is great to have policies and laws designed to ensure persons with disabilities have rights equal to their peers without disabilities.

However, it is important that persons with disabilities, their advocates, and service providers be knowledgeable and able to use these laws and policies in order to positively benefit from them.

Yesterday, Lex Friedman spoke about creating communities that welcomed all people, regardless of disability or not. I believe that disability law and policy should ensure opportunities for all people.

I do not believe that persons with disabilities want special treatment but rather wish to have the same opportunities to succeed and flourish in our communities as our fellow citizens without disabilities have.

In my journey to obtain my augmentative communication device with speech output I gained a new ability that is very underestimated in terms of its importance.

This ability is being able to speak for myself. No longer do I need others to speak on my behalf or for me, no longer do people need to guess my thoughts and feelings, and no longer do I need to sit by idly while others speak of and about me.

I would hope that everyone here in this room today will make a commitment or be more open to providing persons with disabilities with the ability to have a voice, one that they can control and one that they can express at any time and in any way they so choose.

By doing so, we move into a model of empowerment where persons with disabilities will be in a position to dictate what kinds of laws and policies will help them, as opposed to having others, albeit well meaning people, say here are the laws and policies that you can use, go out and use them.

I certainly realize that not all persons with disabilities will be able to self advocate for themselves so it will be up to us, as so called leaders in the disability community, to keep advocating and striving for opportunities for everyone to succeed and be an integral part of their communities.

In the case of the lack of access to my departmental office at the university and the case of the inaccessible bridge way in my community, these scenarios speak to the idea of universal access.

By making the building accessible, perhaps by installing an elevator, this will benefit all people. The delivery person with a heavy load, the person who has bad knees and cannot navigate stairs without experiencing pain, and the person who uses a wheelchair will all benefit from an accessible building.

In the case of the path on the bridge, by making that accessible you will allow parents to easily push their infants in their joggers as the go for their morning runs, you will enable bicyclists to bike their way more easily along the bridge without worrying about falling into the street, and lastly people who use wheelchairs will be able to access their communities without having to risk life and limb to do so.

We must avoid the temptation of becoming complacent and see the status quo as the way things can be.

If and when we do this, we cheat ourselves and others that we might serve from living life to its fullest potential.

I am committed to working as hard as necessary to ensure that the efforts of past disability rights pioneers will not fall by the way side. If we waste the efforts of those who have worked so very hard before us we will be showing the ultimate disrespect to them and the disability community certainly cannot afford to do this.

Martin Luther king junior, one of the greatest civil rights leaders of our time, once said, "I have a dream."

It is my personal hope here today that one day all persons with disabilities will be able to proudly proclaim, "I am living my dream!"

I thank you for your time and will turn the floor over to Mark again but before doing so I’d like to share what I’m doing along with Steve Potts and Steve Brown of the center on disability studies in order to commemorate and celebrate the 16th anniversary of the Americans with Disabilities Act along with the arts and disabilities.

This event called art enabled will take place on July 21, 2006, which is a Friday, from 10 to 3 in the afternoon at McCoy pavilion, which is just down the street from the convention center. For more information we will have flyers available at the CDS exhibit and u also can see me after this if you're interested.

Thank you very much and have a great day at tools for life.

-------------------------------------------------
Any and all feedback is welcomed!

2006-05-04T12:17:00.000-10:00

Jim Tests AudioBlogger

Enjoy this amusing piece voiced by Dr. James R. Skouge, who's blog can be found again at Jim's Rumblings.

Believe me Jim, Audioblogging works. It will be THE key that breaks open the magical jewel.

2006-05-02T22:49:00.000-10:00

SAGE Keynote Address

Here is an audio link to the SAGE keynote addresss delivered by Brian Kajiyama on May 2, 2006.
http://www2.hawaii.edu/~michael/SAGEKeynote.mov

Thanks to SAGE for sponsoring this great event celebrating the accomplishments of the Spring '06 graduates!

Here is the text of the speech:

I can not do every thing.

But I can do some things.

I will not refuse to do the things I can do.

The above quote by Helen Keller, a recognized pioneer in the field of disability, represents what you all as graduating students have a chance to do with your individual lives as you move onto careers of service.

You all have shown a deep investment and commitment to enable yourselves to be better able to serve persons with mental health disorders, persons with disabilities, children who need someone to provide them with strategies to find inner strength and courage to carry on, and people who simply need a compassionate listener to share their concerns with.

with this responsibility comes the importance of shedding any fears or apprehensions that you might have in serving individuals who might be different than you. As Franklin Delanor Roosevelt said in 1933, as we've seen on Doctor Kucera's many insightful e-mail announcements, there is nothing to fear but fear itself.

As counselors, you must allow yourselves to be open to the idea of serving a vast variety of individuals from different backgrounds. As you have all learned from classes, you must avoid putting forth your own barrier of defenses known as biases.

By opening your minds, you will open up avenues of possibility and potential. You as students came into this program full of uncertainty and a sense of anxiety. The faculty probably had similar thoughts, as all they knew of you was what they saw on paper from your applications.

In lieu of this, both you and the faculty kept an open mind and eventually you learned of each others strengths, and some of each others weaknesses. As you found your comfort zone and passion, your faculty advisors helped to shape this into an acceptable plan A or B paper.

This paper probably consumed your lives for the past 3 months. Some of you might have had thoughts of, why am I putting myself through this hellish process. While others might have thought, there is no way I can finish this beast of a paper before the deadline.

How did you all manage to survive?

It would be my educated guess that you survived by having advisors who were there to provide words of encouragement, words of consternation, and expressions of sheer joy as the situation called for.

As soon to be counselors, you will have the special opportunity to serve individuals who will have unique abilities. These individuals might not realize that they possess such abilities, so just as your advisors helped to bring out the best in you, it will be your aim to help your clients to realize their full potential.

By opening your minds, you will create a welcoming environment in which the individuals you serve will feel comfortable. it will be through this comfort that you will best be able to build the rapport that is ever so important in any counseling situation.

The idea of establishing good rapport is not exclusive to counseling. As students in this program, you've built relationships with your peers, the faculty, and of course with your fabulous departmental secretary, Laverne.

Imagine for a moment, if you will, that you did not feel welcomed in the program. This would have prevented you from putting your best foot forward, as you would have not felt safe in sharing your entire selves with the department.

By opening your minds, you will open your hearts. Counseling is not a easy profession. You will undoubtedly meet people who are in situations that would be hard for us to fathom. No text book or class lecture could prepare us for such instances.

What will allow us to face this challenge head on with the confidence needed to help the client to persevere will be the faith that we demonstrate. If you allow yourself to give everything to your profession, your heart and soul, just as you did in your pursuit of your masters degree, the individuals you serve will sense this coming from you and will begin to believe in themselves.

The power of believing in one's self is amazing. I'm one semester away from being in your shoes. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined that I would be delivering a speech to my peers graduating a semester ahead of me.

During my pursuit of my undergraduate degree, I felt I would finish taking my medicine so to speak and be done with school. By pure chance, I had a class in my final semester with a graduate student in the counseling education program.

She would tell me the great things that this program had to offer and more and more I bought into the idea that maybe I wasn't done with school just yet.

I had counselors in my life, who shall go unnamed, tell me that there was no way I could manage a masters program in counseling. I did not let this affect me as I was fortunate to be brought up by parents who always preached the idea that I had to believe in my abilities.

I also had teachers from my schooling prior to matriculating to the college level constantly remind me that I needed to believe in myself. If you believe in yourself, the skies the limit Brian, I recall one teacher saying.

So there I was sitting in this counselor’s office thinking, do I give in and wave the white flag or do I stand strong and insist on pursuing the path unpaved.

If you can express the sense of having the confidence in the individuals you serve, you might not see tangible or immediate results, but rest assured that one day your having confidence in someone will pay off in big dividends.

The last thought I’d like to leave you with is one of a challenge. As many of you say goodbye to the days of formal education, there will be no pressure from teachers or classmates to learn new things.

However, in order to best serve individuals you will counsel, you must continue to remain hungry to learn new ideas and gain new skills.

So even though your formal education will come to an end, I challenge you to view learning as a process that will last a lifetime.

I congratulate you all on a wonderful achievement in your lives. I urge you to take time to enjoy and bask in your great accomplishments. It will not be long before you will need to rev up your engines again and tackle the challenges of your professional careers. Thank you for the opportunity to address you and I wish u all the best. I also wish to extend a message of thank you to SAGE for sponsoring this event and for inviting me to be a part of this celebration.

Lastly, I urge you to never refuse to do the things that you can do.

Thank you and I wish you all the best.

2005-07-15T02:25:00.000-10:00

Art Enabled 2005

This is purely an invitational/promotional post for Art Enabled 2005, as it is fast approaching. Please visit the Art Enabled 2005 website for details about a fundraiser taking place on July 19, at Campus Center (UH).

I'll hopefully resume posting entries on a regular basis as soon as July 22, 2005 passes.

Thanks for visiting my blog! See you all at Art Enabled 2005!

2005-04-18T01:34:00.000-10:00

Honoring Great People

On Sunday, April 17, 2005 I had the great honor and privilege to present Dr. James Skouge (Jim) with honorary membership into the Hui Po'okela Chapter of Mortar Board for 2005 to 2006. We had to devise an elaborate plan to get him to attend, for we ALL know that he would never attend something where the spotlight would shine brightly upon him. So, he was led to believe that I would be receiving an award and he would be presenting me with this award. The plan took LOTS of effort to carry out, and I must thank Chanel, the outgoing Historian, of Mortar Board for persevering in order to carry out this plan!

I feel that it is important to acknowledge and pay tribute to those who mean so much in our lives while they're still with us! Too often, we fall prey to honoring people AFTER they have passed on. Everyone in our office, Lei, Patrick, Steven, and myself knew what was going on; even Sharon, Jim's amazing wife knew of this plan. I eagerly awaited the banquet, excited that I could share the wonderful things that Jim does with people who CARE!

The plan worked amazingly. I was so very happy to see that Sharon could attend; I spoke with her prior to the banquet and she expressed disappointment that she couldn't attend due to work demands. Then I see Sterling, Jim's best friend, arrive...I'm thinking, "Great! But where the heck is our friend and camera man Steven?!"

"Jim what the hell are you doing here?!" I tell Jim...playing the plot out all the way till the very end!

I don't think Jim knew what had hit him until after he had finished making comments in response to what had just transpired. A little after the presentation, Jim comes over to me and utters, "You're a dead man!" That was just too funny! I know Jim was really touched and appreciated the honor! You deserve it, buddy, you deserve it!

Even if the honor was for Jim, he still took the time to share things with the audience about how much I do and will accomplish in my lifetime; it's a bit embarrassing to be up there listening to this when the night belongs to HIM. But again, this is just another example of the one word I believe sums up Jim - UNSELFISH.

I'll end here as I have a long week ahead of me. I just felt a need to post an entry to further acknowledge the great night that we all shared together!

Randomness for the week:

This is Brandon working hard on a story
at the computer lab on Friday. He's doing
a great job each week. (Yes, I did obtain
permission from him to share this with
everyone!)

Sharon & Eulalia enjoying a UH men's
volleyball game on Friday. We all had
a great time! Steven, Suzie, Patrick were
there as well! It was fun!

Jim celebrates his induction as an honorary
member of the Hui Po'okela Chapter of
Mortar Board for 2005-06. Sharon, Sterling,
Steven, my parents, and I were happy to
join in this special night!

Until next time, I wish everyone a great remainder of the semester. My postings could be sporadic at best as I have many demands to carry out in order to be the best student I can be; which is priority #1! Pay homage to those who play a special role in your life. It can be as simple as saying, "Thank you!" but I urge you to do this so that those important people KNOW how much they mean to you.

Congratulations, Jim! Please don't fire me...mind I remind you that your WHOLE office crew was in on the plot! Haha! We ALL love you, buddy!

2005-04-07T01:21:00.000-10:00

Time Waits for No One

Time...it's such an interesting concept to think about. As we think, we can't help but envision time passing us by. Why is it that we always think we never have enough time?! And when we DO have time, we often think, "I have too much time on my hands, I'm bored!"

So much to do, but time keeps ticking, what am I to do?
I try to make time stand still, but dates fly by with things due.
Striving to be the best I can be, I'm the only one I can let down;
Expectation, potential, ability - great words that will take you to town.
Don't get caught up in the hype, if you fall prey you will pay.
I should call it a night and head to bed cause I'm running out of things to say!

Thanks for taking the time to check in with me. I know I've been neglecting my blog. School and life just got super busy; I haven't found the time (there's that word again!) to write all that I want to, need to. I plan to get back into a groove sooner than later!

It was pointed out that I might be breaching confidentiality with some things mentioned on my blog. I am VERY cognizant of this issue and will often err on the side of caution, making sure that I have permission to share what I share, if it involves others, OR by excluding specific names, details, and images. All that you DO see and read has been cleared and approved by the respective individuals.

I am also believing that some of you reading this might be new visitors, introduced to my blog via my presentation at the Capacity Building Institute, through Dr. Jim Skouge, or maybe even through Dr. Ann Barnes. Welcome! Thanks for taking the time to visit my blog! It's lacking any new entries of late, but stick with me and I assure you that I'll post entries that will be interesting to read...much more interesting than this boring entry!

Randomness of the week pictures WILL make a return by week's end. I'm looking at the time, realizing that I should be in bed fast asleep, since I just recovered from a bit of a cold...luckily I was able to fight it off in a 72-hour period.

Until next time, have a wonderful week! Remember that you are only as good as the people you surround yourself with. Each day that I go into work on campus, I realize how truly lucky I am. My co-workers are truly class acts!

I've just started taking interest in Myspace.com; it's pretty addicting! This is my site there: http://www.myspace.com/bkajiyama

Also, I want to remind and urge people to volunteer any help they can offer to my efforts in organizing Art Enabled 2005. Landry and I are starting to get things going into second gear, as the date of the event (July 22, 2005) quickly approaches!

2005-03-25T02:50:00.000-10:00

Fun At the Zoo

Steven, Juanita, and Sharon take a rest
at the zoo.

Sharon did a great job in teaching us the
ASL for the many different animals at the zoo.

2005-03-23T01:27:00.000-10:00

Ode to Yap Man

I would like to take this opportunity to wish my friend, Steve, a.k.a Yap Man, Yapper's, Mr. Organized, a very happy birthday! As a tribute to you, I present you with the following pictures for your viewing pleasure:

Steven hanging loose during an important
meeting.

Steven smiling with food in his mouth at a
baseball game.

Steven smiling as he prepares for a lesson on
camera use.

Steven smiling as he prepares for a video shoot.

As you can see, Steven's a smiley, happy person and THAT is why everyone loves him. He knows when to work hard and does an extremely great job at what he does (many, many things!); he knows when to have fun, he can be as playful as any other "kid!"; he is extremely genuine and caring; and he possesses the common characteristic that ALL great people have, unselfishness!

I wish you a very happy birthday, with many more to come! Thanks for ALL that you do and are!

2005-03-22T02:11:00.000-10:00

Spring Break, Yay!

I've survived the semester to enjoy another spring break. My grand plans to compose a new entry on a daily basis have fallen by the wayside. School, which IS my top priority, demanded much of my time and energy. I had a midterm exam due for one of my classes just before spring break began, which was stressful but a positive as I don't need to worry about it over the break. Although, I admit to being one who becomes anxious to learn about how well/poorly I performed on my exam.

I'll go into work for a few days this week, but I'll also make sure that I set aside some time for my body to enjoy doing nothing! I think it's imperative to allow your body the time and rest it needs to become reinvigorated after a particularly grueling period. School demands picked up immediately after my week enjoying Pac Rim 2005 and the Capacity Building Institute, leaving little time for me to relax.

The great news of the day, the month, I'd go as far to proclaim this good news for the year, is the fact that I have finally received MY own DynaWrite, the augmentative communication device that empowers me with a voice. I'm kind of experiencing the "awe" factor at this point, along with sleepiness being that I'm composing this just before 2am on Tuesday. So, I'll postpone expressing my full thoughts until I'm in a better state of alertness.

But, the immediate reaction and feeling that I must express is: Phew! I also am so very thankful for everyone who had/has been extremely supportive and encouraging throughout this journey. I also must thank my VR counselors for their support and assistance in reaching a resolution in this matter. I now have my own voice....I now have my own voice! I never thought those 6 words would read/sound so great!

Randomness of the week:

Happy Birthday, Sharon! It was Sharon's birthday
on Sunday. On Friday, we worked together to
learn how to use the video camera. She did a great
job and learned really fast!

We, Steven, Mellanie, John, Sharon, and I went to
watch the UH Wahine volleyball team take on
Nebraska on Friday. Unfortunately, UH lost in
5 games, but we all had a great time!

The sun rises above Wist Hall on Thursday morning.

Waves crash at Sandy Beach on Saturday afternoon.

Until next time, have a great spring break week. Communication is such a vital component of ANY interpersonal relationship. The lack of communication can lead to so many unfounded feelings. If you have thoughts, speak out! Use the power of communication!

Any feedback is welcomed and encouraged. Simply click on the 'comments' link found at the bottom of this entry!

2005-03-14T01:07:00.000-10:00

Moments of Clarity

Living in a society that is so fixated on what is to become and looking ahead, rather than appreciating the here-and-now or the past, you often get caught up in the moment and could become lost or lose sight of what your overall goal is. We also do a poor job in acknowledging the good that we do, well at least that's the case from my cultural perspective. Japanese tradition frowns upon those who bring attention to themselves and those who bask in the glory of the spotlight. At the same time, we are PROUD people, who take pride in all that we do (as a culture). I guess this brief background provides a little insight as to why I felt the way I did on February 28, during my participation in the breakout session headed by Mellanie Lee.

This session explained the amazing journey of Sharon and Eulalia, the deaf girls from Pohnpei State, and how they ended up attending college here in Hawaii. A panel of about 10 individuals shared a little about their unique roles in supporting Sharon and Eulalia. I've had the great fortune to work with these girls for almost 2 months now, and it was neat to get a broader glimpse into the support that they have received and continue to receive in order to get to where they are at today. It was especially meaningful to hear about the great progress they have made in terms of becoming acculturated to American culture, as well as Hawaii's culture and their great strides in learning English and American Sign Language. They have also grown as individuals, becoming more responsible and knowledgeable as to what is expected of them as college students.

Each week, Steven (my wonderful co-worker and friend) and I have been working with the girls, teaching them how to take pictures and use iPhoto to create story books. We have Sharon and Eulalia take pictures related to a specific theme, and we would have them write sentences to describe the pictures that we would print out for them. I never really took the time to grasp what Steven and I were doing, in terms of helping the girls develop proficiency in English, but during the presentation I had time to reflect and internalize what we had done/are doing and really got a clearer picture as to how much Sharon and Eulalia have progressed. At first, both girls were very shy and reserved, not communicating more than was necessary. Deciphering what they were trying to say was challenging, as they used very broken English...however, I really could see a distinct change within a few weeks of their coming to work with us each Friday afternoon. I'm SURE that their teachers at the community college are the main reasons why they demonstrated such significant growth, but perhaps, just perhaps the fact that they had to communicate with Steven and I primarily through written communications (as we know NO ASL, nor have we had the luxury of an interpreter, except for one time when we were lucky to have Jan volunteer her services for a bit), mainly via typing on the computer or on my DynaWrite played some role in their developing their English even further. So, as I sat there and listened and then listened to Jim and Steven share a little something about their role, I felt a moment of clarity...one of "I AM doing the right thing!" and another of "This is why I love what I'm doing!"

The ability to see the impact that your helping efforts has on someone is simply priceless. It provides you with validation that your efforts are actually purposeful. Sharon and Eulalia always thank us for helping them, but in reality WE should be the ones thanking them. The lessons and experiences I have gained through working with them are such that they are invaluable, NO textbook or classroom lecture could have taught us what we have learned and are learning. I feel much more confident in my ability to interact with deaf individuals and those who view English as a foreign language. Steven might have different thoughts on how the girls have impacted him, but I think the common lesson in all of this is that you get as much from something as you are willing to put into it. Each week, I try and do my very best to teach the girls something new, and I know Steven does the same. And in return, we have seen two individuals grow right before our eyes....it doesn't get any better than that!

I have LONG weeks, but I can honestly say that I truly look forward to Fridays at work. For one, I get to spend much of my day being around "B" (I'll share more on that in another entry) and I get to spend my afternoons with Sharon and Eulalia. Their enthusiasm and zest for learning provides ME with all the energy I need!

After the presentation on that Tuesday, it was almost like a dream-like sequence of events. I congratulated Mellanie on doing an awesome job with the breakout session and then out of nowhere, Miss Deaf Minnesota appears! I had no idea who she was, all I knew was that her traditional costume (I believe from Thailand) was just beautiful and she had to be one of the cutest individuals I've ever seen in person! Then, it became a bit absurd as she took pictures with me and then I had Sharon and Eulalia around me....I still have no clue how everything transpired, but it was a fun! How often do you meet a Miss from a pageant? Not often! And, you sometimes hear stories about how "beauty queens" can be a bit high strung, bordering on rude, but Elee (I'd learn her name later!) was so friendly and plain ol' happy! I'm sure she'll do extremely well in the national pageant that will take place later this summer. So, that's why I have more than one picture of her on my blog...I'm simply acknowledging her friendly disposition...yeah, that's it! Okay, sure she's cute, too!

After that, I met with my friend Landry to discuss Art Enabled. Landry has graciously assumed a larger role in the whole project. I'm very happy to have her on board! I also know that my friend, Sabrina will continue to be pillar of support as we progress to the date of Art Enabled, July 22, 2005. If you are interested in participating or volunteering, please contact us at artenabled@yahoo.com. I must take this time to thank everyone who has expressed interest in participating and volunteering in AE 2005. Landry and I extend a big mahalo to Dr. Cecily Ornelles, who took the time to meet with us last Friday to discuss the "vision" of Art Enabled. I know I left the meeting feeling even more enthused and committed to making AE 2005 as best an event as possible; as Landry put it, this year will be "bigger and better" than the original (which was awesome in itself!).

I ended my Tuesday feeling anxious and nervous, as the National Capacity Building Institute loomed just hours away! More on the CBI in a future post.

Randomness for the week:

Happy 21st birthday, Christine! I remember being 21...

A view from Ward Centre Theater Complex. It must be a
neat feeling to be that crane, high above the hustle and
bustle below (IF inanimate objects had feelings, of course).

Until next time, have a great week. Never underestimate the power of ONE, or at least the potential power. And, if you're going to have Long Island iced teas, don't drink them on an empty stomach...on second thought, go for it, if you want to increase the potency of the effect!

A reminder: Comments are ALWAYS welcomed, you can easily post feedback (even anonymously, if you so choose) by clicking on the "comments" link found at the end of this entry. Exercise your First Amendment!

2005-03-13T23:32:00.000-10:00

I received another picture taken with Elee, Miss Deaf Minnesota 2003-05. It's not everyday that you get to take a picture with a Miss,so I figure I better share when the sharing's good!
(Picture taken by Mellanie Lee, thanks Mell!)

2005-03-11T02:55:00.000-10:00

Staying the Course

I'd like to take this time to welcome you to my blog, assuming that you're a new visitor! Thank you for taking the time to peruse my ramblings, and what you will read are exactly that, ramblings. My intentions are plain and simple, to share MY life with you all, in hopes that you might find something of interest that will get you to think and ponder, maybe even take action. It is NOT my intention, never has been and never will, to use this public form of communication as a way to embarass, humiliate, nor engage in negative commentaries. What I do hope to provide is an environment where you will feel comfortable and actually find some joy in reading what I have to say. As my friend and mentor, James Skouge, mentioned to me, "Words are a powerful form of communication." That said, I am always, always cognizant of everything I say. I DO want to share as much as I can of my life, for that is how we learn from one another, but I also value my privacy, thus I often struggle with finding the "right" balance. There is no "right" or "wrong" way to blog; a blog is a personal form of communication through writing that allows readers a glimpse into the life, thought process, values, etc. of the author.

More to come soon....

2005-03-10T01:04:00.000-10:00

Where Do I Even Begin?!

Much has transpired since my last entry of significance. As I sort out my thoughts and experiences, I realize it would be a bit much to share in one post. The entry would become novelesque and I realize that people don't have the time to sit and read and read and read. Thus, my solution...I will try to post a new entry on a daily basis (as my schedule allows, in terms of the demands of school) until I share as much as I can about my March to date.

The biggest development of March, and there were many to choose from, is that I have reached a resolution with the Division of Vocational Rehabilitation (VR) (I apologize that I've been inaccurately referring to VR as a department, rather than a division; they are a division of the Department of Human Services) in my efforts to obtain an augmentative communication device with speech output! I won't get into details at this point, but the bottomline is that I should have a DynaWrite that I can proudly use and call my own in a week or two. I will share more thoughts on this in a future entry.

Other brief notes of importance...I had a wonderful time at Pac Rim 2005 sponsored by the University of Hawaii's Center on Disability Studies. I had the great privilege to participate and share presenting duties in a couple breakout sessions. One was with Steve Brown, a person who I view as the guru of disability culture and someone I respect highly, and this involved a panel who shared how they have come to use technology as a means to share stories in their own voice, thus the session was called "Talk Story."

The other session was spearheaded by Mellanie Lee and she had assembled an amazing panel of individuals who were and are instrumental in having Sharon and Eulalia, the deaf girls from Pohnpei State, attend college here in Hawaii. I feel honored to play a small role in their development as individuals making great strides in developing as human beings!

And then there was the National Capacity Building Institute (CBI) on Wednesday. One of my proudest moments in life thus far. All I can say at this point is THANK YOU to everyone associated with the CBI and express how wonderful it was to meet and interact with amazing individuals, with whom I hope to remain in contact with for years to come.

Randomness for the week:

University of Hawaii baseball versus Witchita St. from
last Friday. This was part of the Spring Tournament.

Jim and Steven set up for a shoot at the Sheraton last
Wednesday.

One of my proudest moments in life. I presented at the
National Capacity Building Institute on March 2.

...and then this happened on Tuesday. Eulalia, Elee
(Miss Deaf Minnesota), and Sharon.

A beautiful sunrise above Waikiki Beach last Tuesday, prior
to the start of day 2 of the Pac Rim Conference.

Jim presents during Steve Brown's "Talk Story" breakout
session on the first day of the Pac Rim Conference.

A picture perfect postcard-type day in Waikiki on Monday.

A tranquil start to a hectic week! Sunrise at the Sheraton
Waikiki Hotel on Monday.

Until next time, stay true to yourself no matter what happens. Always remember that you will never be able to make everyone happy; the only person you can truly make happy is yourself.

Patience will pay off one day...one day!

2005-02-28T01:01:00.000-10:00

Aloha from Pac Rim

I would like to welcome everyone to the Pac Rim breakout session headed by Dr. Steve Brown. I am writing this post assuming that we will have access to the Internet.

A blog is a web log. Essentially it can serve as an online journal. I use my blog to share my going on's week-to-week, as time allows. I was unable to compose a usual entry this week as I was busy preparing for Pac Rim and the National Capacity Building Institute following Pac Rim, while trying my best to be a student with a social life! A juggling act to say the least!

What I hope you take away from my sharing my blog with you is the idea that you can be empowered or empower others with a voice that can be heard/read by anyone in the world! Very amazing if you stop and think about it. It also allows for ongoing interactions, as readers can post comments for each entry if they so choose.

I make a conscious effort to make each entry informative, interesting, thought provoking, humorous, and worthwhile to read for I am well aware of how valuable everyone's time is.

Randomness of the week:

On Saturday, I bowled with friends. This is my
good friend David, who is moving to
California soon. Definitely will miss his presence!

UH vs. Washington St. on Saturday night. Hawaii
won 9 to 8 in 10 innings. Great game!

Fire from a BBQ I attended on Sunday afternoon with friends.

Until next time, have a great week at Pac Rim. Enjoy all the beauty of Hawaii or where ever you may be, little things are so wonderful if we just take the time to appreciate them!

We're still looking for volunteers/participants for Art Enabled 2005!

2005-02-14T23:57:00.000-10:00

When Will the Madness End?!!

Due to heightened emotions, I will refrain from composing an entry today. I'm a firm believer in not acting on sheer emotion, but rather writing when you're able to communicate in a composed manner. By practicing this, one avoids saying things might be regrettable upon further reflection.

Upon a deep breath, and a few hours of thought and venting, I feel ready to share some thoughts. Today my feelings of being deceived or led astray by the Department of Vocational Rehabilitation (VR) were confirmed even more. The local vendor that VR had been working with to obtain my DynaWrite from, expressed thoughts that they (VR) were exploring an inappropriate avenue of funding, medical isurance, as my augmentative communication device would hold a greater importance vocationally, rather than medically. I agree with this train of thought. What has made matters a bit absurd is the fact that I was provided with a less than accurate account of what transpired from my VR counselor. I obtained a more accurate recantation of the situation from another source, which I'll keep confidential. "We experienced problems with ______, so we're going with (another vendor)." The fact of thte matter is, VR was told something they didn't want to hear, so they took their business elsewhere; almost like the boy who takes his basketball from his friends who won't let him get his way, and finds a new group of friends who will let him do as he pleases. Is this necessarily wrong? No, but it doesn't exactly make things right either! All anyone can expect from someone is honesty, I believe that is the basis by which respect is earned and provided. Do I trust VR at this point? Sadly, no! Again, I realize I am taking the big risk by sharing this situation in such a public venue, but I feel that it is important for people to hear of my plight, NOT so I benefit from it, but rather so that other individuals in my situation won't have to go through the same struggle like my own. I am hopeful that positives WILL result from what may seem like a no-win situation. Nothing can resolve MY situation to where I'll feel happy; you can't replace a year plus of waiting and jumping through hoops. I accept this and will continue the struggle of fighting for what I view is a fair and just resolution, and that is VR obtaining an augmentative communication device, the DynaWrite, as planned out on my Individualized Plan for Employment (IPE). Those who know me will certainly report that I am a patient and nice individual. I do NOT plan on changing, I won't let someone else dictate how I feel or act; however, there comes a time when one realizes that extreme measures are necessary in order to resolve a situation that remains stuck in neutral.

I will share more about my activities from the past week in a future post.

Randomness for the week:

The UH baseball team took on Alabama on Saturday
afternoon, they lost the first of the doubleheader but
bounced back to take the nightcap!

A cloud lingers over Olomana Mountain. No significance,
just thought it made for a nice photograph.

The 2005 Pro Bowl prior to kickoff.

The obligatory shot of the Pro Bowl cheerleaders; they
worked hard to earn a spot here at the NFL's all-star
game, too!

The NFC (in white/blue) battled the AFC (in red/white) in
the 2005 Pro Bowl at Aloha Stadium on Sunday.

Jasmine Trias, of American Idol stardom, performed with
Don Ho during the halftime of the Pro Bowl. This production
was one of the best shows I've seen here in Hawaii!

The AFC defensive unit prepares before the play; the AFC
would go on to defeat the NFC, 38-27. Peyton Manning, the
quarterback from the Indianapolis Colts, was named the Pro
Bowl MVP.

Until next time, have a happy Valentine's day; hopefully your day was not just a huge reminder of the fact that "Yes, I'm single!" Valentine's is about celebrating the friendships that you have with people, platonic love; celebrating your relationships with family members, familial love; and lastly, enjoying your sense of love for another being, romantic love. The first 2 types of love, I know all about, the last type I know NOTHING about...but such is life. We can't have it all!

2005-02-07T14:30:00.000-10:00

Busy, Busy, Busy

Another week has flown by, and once again I'm left thinking, "Wow where did the time go?!" This was a week packed with many activities, highs AND lows, joy and disappointment. If you can go through such a range of emotions, it's safe to say you've experienced a full week.

On Monday, I assumed the role of advocate and self-advocated for myself. I contacted the Client Advocacy Program (CAP), which is part of the Hawaii Center on Disability Rights, to request their assistance in resolving my long struggle of obtaining an augmentative communication device with voice output from the Department of Vocational Rehabilitation (VR). I do, indeed, realize that I am taking a risk by sharing this information on my blog, perhaps one of the most public forms of communication. Why would I do this? No, it's not to shed a negative light on VR, nor am I attempting to use this as a forum to pressure anyone. My hope is that someone in a similar situation will hear of my struggle, and perhaps be experiencing much of the same feelings as I am, and realize that it IS okay to explore avenues of help. I had to overcome my "fear" of being labeled as a "blacksheep" or one who causes waves, I had to overcome my strong desire to advocate for MYSELF without calling on outsiders for help, and I had to overcome the feeling that I wouldn't be seen as "nice" if I explored this avenue of help. This isn't about being nice or mean, anyone who knows me can readily observe that I certainly have NO intentions whatsoever to be mean; this is about putting my foot down and saying enough is enough. Waiting patiently for over a year for me to obtain an augmentative communication device is simply ridiculous; it is also a little annoying (maybe more than a little) to have the VR worker be stuck in a system that only allows for a reply of "Please be just a little more patient." Wait a minute here! Is MY patience being questioned here?! I certainly don't blame the VR worker, what more could the worker say? If anyone is to blame, and I have serious reservations about blaming anyone, so perhaps I'll say this instead....if anyone/anything is flawed here, it is the system by which VR workers have to work within. Sometimes the only way one can initiate positive changes in a system is to make others aware of the situation!

I also contacted the transportation company who sent the same driver who I had the near accident with, despite assurances that I would never ride with the driver again. The company was apologetic and the person I talked with had no knowledge of the assurance that someone else in the company made, demonstrating the importance of communication in order to provide quality customer service. I explained the situation as I understood it to be, and I feel confident that this will be the last that I'll need to contact them regarding the this driver and the use of cell phones while driving.

Taking risks involve exactly that....risk! The end result of any action could be a positive or negative. Wednesday was a rough day, as I spent the day trying to recover from a "risk" I took that did not end up the way I expected nor anticipated. I'm usually very conservative when it comes to risk taking ventures, so I really thought this particular "risk" through. I won't get into specifics here in order to preserve my own privacy. But I make mention of this simply to illustrate that things won't always go as planned, regardless of how much you analyze and think of every possible outcome; you can't plan for the unexpected! No one was physically injured, nothing was damaged, no laws were broken, so all is well.

On Friday, I attended a planning meeting for the National Capacity Building Institute (CBI) conference, focusing on transition supports to postsecondary education and employment for youth with disabilities. I am proud to announce that I will have the honor of "hosting" this event, which means I'll open the conference by sharing some remarks and some of the video pieces that I have composed. The CBI conference will take place on March 2 to 3 at the Sheraton Waikiki in Honolulu, Hawaii. Dr. Skouge (Jim) sent me to this meeting in his place, as he felt it was important for me to learn more about the conference and he had other tasks to tend to. The planning meeting was interesting, as I was able to learn of all the many details that go into planning a conference of this magnitude. Resident scholar and professor, Dr. Steve Brown was in attendance at this meeting. Steve is one of the most knowledgeable individuals I have ever met as is relates to disability culture and disability issues in general. I've taken courses from him in the past, and I could never turn in a paper that met his standards of excellence, so I thought, perhaps, I wasn't a "good" writer. As we were sitting at the table, waiting for the meeting to begin, Steve uttered 4 simple words that meant so much to me, "Brian's a good writer." This may seem like a very minor detail, but to have someone who IS such a polished and respected writer complement you on your writing, that means a lot! If you're reading this, Steve, thank you for those words!

After my meeting, I met with "B" again. It was nice seeing him again and on this day he'd work on creating a story using Storybook Weaver Deluxe. He got a lot done and it was great observing him working so hard. We took a break for lunch and he wanted Chinese! So I had to think of where we might be able to pick up some Chinese. The weather looked threatening and I felt more comfortable having "B" wait as I went to pick up our food. He didn't mind as he could work more on the story he was creating. I talked about this briefly last week, but it's a neat feeling to be able to help someone. It also requires you to be thoughtful; for example, when I went to pick up lunch, I knew that traveling back to the office with 2 drinks would pose a challenge, especially when I struggle with one cup! So, I decided to buy bottled drinks, stuffing them into my backpack. I also realized that a straw would sink to the bottom of the bottle, so I made sure I brought back a cup so I could pour "B's" drink into the cup so he could use a straw. I also made sure I brought back an ample supply of napkins, for I know how handy they can be! Little details like this go a long way if you want to make for an enjoyable eating experience. I had a mini hamburger steak plate and "B" had chow mien and roast pork. His plate was quite plentiful but as soon as I brought it back, he devoured it as if there was no tomorrow!

During lunch, Dr. D'Andrea stopped by to visit. We had a great conversation regarding our NIMC newsletter website and our communication system that we've implemented for members of the NIMC. We discussed the idea of using a blog as a means to allow for ongoing discussions, an idea that I borrowed from one of my peers, Elizabeth, who is heading an independent student organization in the Counselor Education program, SAGE.

My other big task is working to organize Art Enabled 2005, along with my friend, Sabrina. We received great support from SAGE, as they included our flyer in their first newsletter! We really appreciate that support! Right now, we're trying to recruit potential volunteers and participants/performers, so if you're interested in learning more, please visit our Art Enabled 2005 website. Securing financial support is another top priority, as we'll need to purchase materials for the creation of the mural (canvas, paint, paint brushes, etc). Donations would be more than appreciated!

Lastly, I'll share a little bit about my meeting with the Sharon and Eulalia, the deaf girls from Pohnpei State. They're doing a great job on their weekly tasks. My friend and co-worker, Steven, Mellanie, their mentor, and I provide the girls with an assignment each week, involving taking photos of a particular subject, such as a "Day at school" or "Food you enjoy in Hawaii." In addition, we provide them with photos they took previoulsly and ask them to write a few sentences about the pictures. This will hopefully help them in learning English and allow them to become more familiar with technology. I'm very excited and happy about the progress they're making!

Randomness for the week:

A beautiful sky during sunset on Thursday
evening! I had to take a picture of it!!

On Saturday I went bowling with friends. This is
Steven, who bowled for only the second time in his
life! He did great, though!

Until next time, have a great week! Being strong means knowing how to use the strengths you DO have....advice I picked up from a great Indonesian Randai performance at Kennedy Theater, Luck and Loss: Manandin's Gamble. Always remember to be risk takers, no matter what!

As usual, comments are appreciated and welcomed!

2005-01-30T18:11:00.000-10:00

Apprehension Leads to Confidence

This week was a week dedicated to hard work. I didn't have any class sessions on Tuesday, so I was able to put in more hours at work. This turned out to be a a positive as I was able to have a discussion with Dr. Skouge (Jim). He informed me that he volunteered me to serve as "host" of a conference sponsored by the University of Hawaii's Center on Disability Studies (CDS). At first, my initial reaction was, "What?! You did what?!" But, I kept an open mind, listened to Jim describe what my duties would be as "host." It took me a little while to fully process everything, but as I had time to reflect, I realized that I have a great opportunity ahead of me. I was particularly appreciative of the timing of this opportunity, or at least the announcement of the opportunity on Jim's part, as my confidence in myself wasn't exactly at its highest. I was a day removed from internalizing the whole situation regarding my augmentative communication device; a situation that I perceived as a lack of confidence in VR's part in MY abilities, for I would venture to guess that if they had complete confidence that I can achieve (whatever that might be), they would do all that they could to support me.

I suppose the whole situation left me questioning myself, questioning my abilities. Here I constantly tell others about the importance of self-advocacy, my BA is focused on Advocacy for the Disabled, but yet I can't successfully advocate for myself?! This definitely causes one to step back and really look at one's self. You also have faith that VR would be one of the main supporters of my goal to achieve self-sufficiency, be it as it relates to employment AND life in general. Asking someone to jump through all of these hoops, watching that person do so, and not holding up your end of the agreement demonstrates a lack of...confidence, perhaps, maybe even a lack of respect?? I called and spoke with my VR counselor, being extremely polite and cordial, and calmly explained the frustration I was feeling regarding this situation. I constantly reiterated the fact that I appreciated all of the efforts that I believed had been put forth to expedite the situation; I also explained that after a while, hearing "1 month" (regarding how much longer it will take) grows old when you hear it over and over. I was dismayed by the fact that the counselor made a comment to the effect of, "You need to be just a little more patient." Furthermore, the counselor seemed to defend the VR system when I brought up the fact I found out that another client had a DynaWrite ordered by VR in less a week; I called to follow up on this only to hear, "That client received replacement parts for an existing device." At this point, MY faith in VR has hit a low, so I will pursue other avenues of advocacy this week. I owe it to myself to do so, even if I dislike causing waves, rocking the boat, etc. I MUST thank all of you who have posted comments of support, I do appreciate them!

So, Jim's announcement came at a great time. I thanked him for believing in me and expressed my excitement about the opportunity to do something that I wouldn't have dreamed of. I think the expected audience at this conference will be 75-100 people.

On Thursday, after a long, but good day, I had a moment of more confusion! My late class ended, and I waited for my ride to come. Guess who the driver was?! It was the driver from a couple weeks ago, the one who dropped the cell phone and reached to pick it up! At this point, I was exhausted from a long day and knew I had another long day ahead of me, so I wasn't about to refuse my ride home. As I rode home, sure enough the cell rang, the driver answered it, carried on brief conversations; I really didn't know what to think, and I still don't. However, I shared this story with my friend, who pointed out the fact that it was disrespectful on the company's part to promise that this particular driver would never pick me up again, only to go back on their word and send the driver again. In order to be a smart consumer, aside from practicing my self-advocacy skills, I will plan to contact the company this week to express my disappointment.

Positives, positives, surely there must have been more positives this week! Ah, Friday would bring a superb opportunity for me to grow as a person and future professional. Jim invited a young man with cerebral palsy to come and visit our world; this young individual just started attending a community college last fall after graduating from high school. He uses an augmentative communication device as well, except its a different device from the one I use. I'm very aware of privacy and confidentiality, so I'll give him the pseudo-identity of "B." I was admittedly a bit apprehensive about this visit, as Jim had placed the responsibility on me to serve as his "host," at least on this day. Jim and I believe that "B" will visit our office on a regular basis and will become another colleague in our world. I knew just a little about "B," through watching him tell jokes as a young child on a video that Jim had shot, but that's about it. I also haven't had interactions with other individuals with CP who use augmentative communication, I'm also not your "hosty"-type of person; many, including myself, would classify me as shy.

So, "B" arrives , Jim and I welcome him; Jim took the initial lead which was nice, then after about 5 minutes, Jim says, "Okay you two, I'll leave you in peace so you can talk." Let the fun begin! I guess the fact I had little time to think was a plus, I just had to dive right in. I started asking "B" questions to get to know him, and I shared info with him about who I was. It didn't take long at all for me to feel at ease, and not be caught up in the whole moment; the conversation began to feel natural. I quickly appreciated the meaning of being patient, as it took "B" some time to prepare what he wanted to verbalize on his augmentative communication device. I always had a sense of what it meant to be patient, and how fortunate I was to have people around me who are, indeed, patient to allow me to communicate at my own pace, but this interaction put everything into a clearer perspective. I wasn't antsy as I waited, I was genuinely eager to hear what "B" had to say. I also observed that "B" was interested in what I had to say, as he stared intently on my screen display as I entered my messages. Eventually, the conversation became so relaxed and easy, that "B" threw in a few jokes. Having one talker deliver a "knock, knock" joke and have the other talker reply with "who's there" was just a classic moment. "B" soon discovered that we have Beauty and the Beast playing in the office, so that distracted him just a wee bit; who could blame him, that's a good movie to enjoy! I suppose after seeing it played day in and day out, I've become accustomed to having it play without being distracted by it; I actually find myself "needing" it to be on in order to feel comfortable.

We would take a tour of the campus, and again, I'm not really one who is of a hosting type, so this was another challenge. I took "B" around, he followed closely behind me in his powered wheelchair, and I pointed out various buildings, like Sinclair Library, Campus Center, Student Services, etc. etc. I think "B" found this enjoyable as he watched and listened as I described/pointed out each building. We'd make our way back to the office and proceeded to have lunch. Pizza would be the choice of food on this day, and we ate together. After I ate, I noticed a water bottle in the bag on the back of "B's" chair, so I took it out, opened the bottle, put the straw in and held the bottle as he drank. No words had to be exchanged, I just knew what I was supposed to do. It felt great to finally do something "right!" "B" would finish drinking, and I put the water bottle back into his bag, disposed of our trash.

I had a meeting to attend and "B" was given the option to tag along with me, but on this day he chose to remain with Jim in the computer lab and compose a story using software called Storybook Weaver Deluxe. It was a great day overall spent with "B," one that began with apprehension and ended in my having a bit more confidence to take on new risks, knowing that most often it WILL turn out just fine.

I attended a disability culture training that was presented by Steve and Lillian Brown, resident scholars of CDS. Although I had seen and heard them talk about disability culture in the past, I really enjoyed attending this. Steve shared a poem called Tell YOUR Story, which I connected with in particular because he spoke about the need to take risks in order to pave your path to glory. I listened to this and thought, "wow, I shouldn't be hesitant to rock the boat or cause waves." I left this training session feeling inspired!

I quickly headed to meet with the deaf girls from Pohnpeii. On this day, only one of them would be present, Sharon, as the other girl had to meet with a tutor at school. Steven (my co-worker) and I worked with Sharon to demonstrate how to create a story book using pictures that she had taken. We showed her how to enter text to go along with the pictures, and she did a great job in quickly catching on to this concept. Our visit ended after a couple hours. I was ready to head on home, ending a long but productive and meaningful week!

On Friday afternoon, my mom shared with me that the person from McCoy Pavilion informed her that we have the thumbs up to have Art Enabled take place at that facility. I am so very stoked about this! Sabrina and I finally have concrete plans to work from; Art Enabled 2005 WILL take place from 10am to 4pm on July 22, 2005 at McCoy Pavilion!!! Please visit http://www.geocities.com/artenabled for further information, if you wish to participate or volunteer! We look forward to organizing an awesome event that the entire community can enjoy and be a part of.

Thanks again to everyone who posted comments of support within the past week. I also thank everyone who participated in the "contest" to name my iguana art piece. Many unique and intriguing, wonderful suggestions came through. The "winning" suggestion, or at least the one I decided to go with, came via e-mail. You can see the name below in my pictures.

Randomness for the week:

It sure rained on Saturday. The puddle in the backyard.

This snail didn't seem to mind the rain as it strolled along

Introducing......Recy - Royal Elcycer (Royal for his
blue eyes, and "Elcycer" is recycle spelled backwards)
Thanks for ALL the suggestions, everyone!

Until next time, have a great week and don't shy away from taking risks!

2005-01-28T22:50:00.000-10:00

Today I met with Sharon, who is from Pohnpeii State, of the Federated States of Micronesia. We worked on putting pictures onto the computer. It was fun!
Posted by Brian

2005-01-24T07:34:00.000-10:00

You Think You Know, But You Have No Idea

A very rare time that I'll compose an entry on consecutive days. But it'll be an interesting read, I assure you.

I like to think of myself as a nice person, I always try to do good, do the right thing, treat people with respect. I certainly don't try to be mean or do bad to anyone. You'd think I should have good karma, or whatever you believe in....

Last night I received an e-mail regarding my augmentative communication device. It wasn't a bad note, in fact it was a positive one. Someone had received a DynaWrite through the Department of Vocational Rehabilitation (VR). "Great!" one should think.

It's great except for one minor detail....I've been patiently waiting for over a year to receive my device, all the while trying my best to convince VR that they should support this. Finally VR is convinced, but yet there's a bunch of hoops that I was asked to jump through. I DO all that they ask of me....now it has become a waiting game, "pass the buck" if you will. Come to find out, a VR counselor was able to order a device for someone in less than a week's time! How can there be such a huge disparity in this idea of "delivery of services?"

What exactly am I missing here?! Something is definitely askew in this picture. It's like someone has punched me in my gut or played a very sick joke on me.

I'll openly admit to literally feeling sick after processing all of this. I write this entry as I cope with a migraine headache, definitely brought on by self-induced stress. What do I take away from this? I MUST learn to deal with stress better, don't let situations affect me so much.

I am very grateful that DynaVox has been extremely supportive of me. They have and continue to believe that I benefit greatly by using a DynaWrite. Thus, I AM happy that I could help them in serving another individual who will benefit from their product. I look forward to the day that I can proclaim, "I have my OWN DynaWrite!"

Does this mean that I'll start being not nice, more "mean" in my attempts to advocate for myself? Probably not. However, I will question my competence in advocacy until I receive the support I am entitled to. A year plus, in my eyes, is NOT considered "timely" in terms of delivery of service.

2005-01-23T17:11:00.000-10:00

Broadening Horizons

I had a good week. Yes, it was long once again, but that will be just a fact of life this semester. I'm not Father Time so I can't do anything to change how many hours there are in a day, week, etc. We're just kept in check by the concept of time; if you really think about it, time is such that you can't grasp it but its there! Quite fascinating, ain't it?!

Yesterday, Saturday, I had hoped to attend a concert. Lisa Loeb, the cute singer who plays "good" music, was to play at the Hawaiian Hut, a showroom at the Ala Moana Hotel. Everyone I asked if they wanted to come with me had prior commitments, although they really would have gone if they could. Another fact of life. I was planning to go myself or with my mom, but as it turns out we BOTH were tired and drained so even I didn't go! There's always next time.

Earlier in the day, I went to a barbecue that one of my football friends had, as he's moving to the continent to play semi-pro football. At first, I wasn't really interested in going, but another friend of mine kept on me, "Let's go, it'll be good!" So I went, and I had a great time. I saw friends who I hadn't seen in a while, and it was nice to be in a environment that was so peaceful and relaxing. It was at a beach front property and the view was just amazing. I should have taken pictures, but I was caught up in just enjoying being there. Sometimes you just have to do that and not worry about capturing it for future use. The MIND is the greatest memory stick, photo album, biographical resource that we possess! It was a gorgeous day out, too.

I've been working on the National Institute for Multicultural Competence's (NIMC) Newsletter site, Pathways; updating it with announcements and archiving our first article. It took me a while to get this just right; there's a lot of testing and re-testing that goes into authoring webpages. Or maybe that's just me, I WANT people to enjoy going to the newsletter and navigating through it without and trouble. I'm very excited about the newsletter as a whole since Dr. D'Andrea receives numerous requests from individuals who want to receive our e-mail announcements on a weekly basis! The website can be found here, http://www.geocities.com/nimc_newsletter If ant of you wish to join the NIMC, it's a free organization, please e-mail nimc_newsletter@yahoo.com and I'll be sure to add you to our mailing list.

My week at school was good. On Tuesday, I experienced a moment of panic as I realized that I'm a little behind on my 60 hours of direct client services for my practicum. I immediately approached Dr. Skouge (Jim), as he is my site-supervisor, and he was extremely helpful. Jim is one of those individuals who never seems to get rattled when challenges arise, he thinks it through and comes up with wonderful solutions or ideas! I felt much better after speaking to him and feel confident everything will work out.

Thursday was a LONG day; that's the best way to describe it. I arrived at work around 6:45am, ready to duplicate CD's for Jim's class later that afternoon. I knew I was under a tight schedule as I would need to leave to attend a Disability and Communication Access Board (DCAB) meeting around mid-afternoon. Usually we do all of our CD duplicating in the CRC, the College of Education's library and media resource center since they have a CD duplicator that can burn 6 CD's at once. The slight problem was that they open at 9, and I felt like I should get started on this task; it HAD to get completed. So, I began the tedious task of burning the copies one by one on our computer in the office. This actually worked out fine because I got into a comfortable rhythm and the task began to carry itself. I was just feeding the blank CD's into the drive. I got 75% of the copying done and then proceeded to the CRC at 9 to finish up the task.

I spoke to Jim that morning and he asked if I could record my speech that I was to deliver to his class later that evening. I quickly remembered that the best audio recorder is a video camera, so that's exactly what I used! I plugged in the iSight camera into the computer and sat there recording my speech. I edited out the "dead air" using iMovie. Boy, Macs are so user friendly and great...a bold statement coming from someone who was solely a PC user up until a year and a half ago! I also recorded a little introductory message for Dr. D'Andrea to play on my behalf at the NIMC Conferences this week in Hollywood, California.

I value Dr. D'Andrea's vision to have as many people "hear" me through my augmentative communication device, the DynaWrite made by DynaVox. This vision parallels Jim's idea that people need to hear more of these devices so the "shock" or "awe" effect is lessened. And from my perspective, being that I survived without a true "voice" for so long, I'm getting used to the idea of being more vocal so to speak. It will be an ongoing transition and growing process for me, but I welcome this opportunity!

I attended the aforementioned DCAB meeting and I will openly admit that I was bored sitting through it! I tried my darndest to get enthused about it, but it just seemed to drag on and on, with a certain core dominating the meeting. I'm still "new" to this so I'm hopeful that I will be able to shed my tendency to be passive.

I hurried back to campus, preparing myself mentally for the presentation that I was to give that evening in Jim's Technology for Students with Disabilities class. On my way back to the office, I ran into my friend, who shared some exciting news with me. She had just received a full-time graduate assistant position! I KNOW that my reaction was very much subdued, and I'm disappointed in myself for this. I'm one who loves the idea of friends being able to share highs and lows with each other and be able to feel happy, sad, disappointed, etc. with the other person. The only explanation I have for my lack of emotion on this day was that I was entering my "zone;" athletes will often enter this so called zone prior to a game and become really focused on their forthcoming game. I very much am happy and excited that my friend received this opportunity, and I explained this to her in a conversation later.

My presentation in Jim's. This is the second semester that I've done this presentation, Jim shows the class three videos, the first being a short interview with me sharing a little bit about myself, and then the next two videos are my video poetry pieces, and I wrap up with some remarks. I could have used the same remarks from last semester, but to me that would be boring, so I challenged myself to come up with a whole new speech. I worked on this on Wednesday and hoped that it would be received well. My speech talked about the importance of taking risks and not shying away from having high expectations of their students, be it if they have a disability or not. I also spoke to the fact that assistive technology would be the tool that they would use to level the playing ground, the gap in the bridge between the disabled and non-disabled would be closed, and instead of viewing it as accommodations, we could look at it as an opportunity to include ALL people in society. I always end my remarks by saying a few words about Jim, my mentor and friend. I do this NOT because I feel obligated or to score any points, that is not what I'm about; I do this because I feel it is important to openly acknowledge people who have helped you get where you are! This is why I mention my family in my entries so often, this is why I mention friends on a regular basis, and this is why I mention teachers/professors on a regular basis.

My presentation went very well. I was a bit overwhelmed by the responses that students provided immediately following it. They ranged from "Brian, I'm sorry I didn't approach you before, even though I've always seen you around" to "You're an inspiring individual." Very candid responses, extremely honest and frank. Then on this night there would be Jim's reaction. I know and respect that Jim is an emotional person, I don't see that as wrong, but rather being extremely genuine. Jim apologized for becoming so emotional, but MY take is that apologizing is NOT necessary...emotions are real, and it is very refreshing to see a professor open up to his class and actually show emotion!

I am excited about the opportunity to work with the students in this class throughout the semester. I just hope that I can provide them with the help and assistance that they deserve.

On Friday, I knew that I would be interacting with the two deaf girls from Pohnpei State of the Federated States of Micronesia. I had been working and discussing this with Jim's colleague, Mellanie, and my co-worker, Steven, as they have had contact with these girls already on a regular basis. I was excited about the opportunity, but yet felt some uneasiness as I didn't know what to expect. What the heck was I nervous about?! The girls were so engaging and have this overall positive/happy disposition that you can't help but get happy about yourself, too! We communicated at first by using my DynaWrite and taking turns typing messages to each other. Another great example of how invaluable having a DynaWrite IS!! Our visit with each other lasted just under 2 hours and we'll be meeting on a regular basis every Friday. This will be a semester where my horizons will be broadened!

I've been thinking a lot about Art Enabled. I have a genuine excitement about being able to organize it and have it take place on July 22, 2005. Along with this excitement, I will admit to experiencing moments of stress....again self-induced stress. I think the stress stems from my desire to do as good a job as I can so that the event will be as great as it can and should be! If any of you are interested in helping and/or participating, please feel free to contact me through artenabled@yahoo.com. Today, in a few moments actually, I'll be scouting locations, particularly the McCoy Pavilion at Ala Moana Beach Park to see how viable a location that may be.

Randomness for the week:

Brian at work. Notice the heater in the background!
Brrr, its cold, thus the "frosted" look of this pic!

The Tennessee Titans and Hawaii connection!

A cool building across the street of Ala Moana
Beach Park.

A cute bamboo plant in our house.
Bamboo is thought to be good luck
in Japanese culture.

The site of Art Enabled 2005 (I'm 99% sure!)

Until next week, have a wonderful week. Thanks to everyone who has posted comments of late. My iguana friend WILL have a name by next week, I'll take this week to examine all the suggestions thus far!

2005-01-17T02:27:00.000-10:00

A LONG Good Week

It is rare that one can say that a LONG week was a good week, but as I sit here and ponder what has transpired I can say that I did have a good week! I calculated that I put in a total of 28 hours at work; during the time I'm there, it really doesn't feel that long, a true sign of how much I enjoy being there. A testament to my boss and mentor, Dr. James Skouge (Jim), and to my co-workers, who make being at work a joy each and every day!

On Friday, I met with Jim's colleague, Mellanie Lee, as we're working together to help empower two deaf girls from Pohmpei State, part of the Federated Islands of Micronesia, in sharing their unique and wonderful story of being the first deaf students to attend college here in America. I will have the honor of working closely with the girls to achieve this goal. I am very excited and grateful for the opportunity that Mellanie and Jim have provided for me!

I also met with Dr. D'Andrea on Friday. We had a productive meeting, as we talked about future plans for the NIMC Newsletter, and I attempted to provide a brief lesson on webpage authoring to him as best I could. I welcome this opportunity to help work on the website, even though it WILL take time and energy on my part, but I fully support the intent of it; if I felt that it wasn't something worthwhile, I would NOT commit to it. I'm one who puts a 100% effort into projects, journeys, and tasks that I feel strongly about. I am not about taking on projects just to take them on and do a less than stellar job...that is NOT me.

Sabrina and I secured our first performer for Art Enabled!! I am very stoked (excited) about this, as we slowly, but surely, work towards organizing what will be a truly special and awesome event. In the coming days we will work towards establishing a clear outline of what it is that we want/hope to see at the event itself. Steve Brown, a resident scholar and professor for the Center on Disability Studies, will do poetry readings at our event scheduled for July 22, 2005. We are honored to have his participation, as he does beautiful poetry and is extremely versed in disability culture. Again, if ANY of you reading are interested in being a part of Art Enabled 2005, please e-mail artenabled@yahoo.com.

I am cognizant of the fact that I'll need to keep myself on track this semester and not fall into the temptation of procrastinating. Yes, the "P" word, procrastinate! A very ugly word, one that I've battled and have fallen victim to throughout my college journey. However, I am determined, in fact I will NOT procrastinate this semester. I'll make every effort to keep myself on task day in and day out. If you remember to tackle tasks in little steps, it becomes a little easier. On the other hand, if you try to take on an entire task at once, you'll most likely feel like you've been run over by a Mack truck! Okay, maybe that was a tasteless analogy considering I'm just days removed from nearly experiencing that very feeling, but I'm doing very well, looking to move beyond that scary incident. Remember, Rome was not built in a day!

Regarding my close call, I must commend the transportation company for taking an extremely proactive approach in dealing with the situation. On Thursday night, the driver who picked me up was the night supervisor for the company and apologized for what had happened Tuesday. I was reassured that the driver from Tuesday would never pick me up again. That is what I consider good customer service! It still felt a little weird passing the area where the near accident almost occurred. It made me reflect yet again on how lucky I really am.

Thursday was a long day, with my being on campus for over 14 hours. I came home and had a good dinner, showered, and proceeded to chat with my friend, Sabrina, something that we hadn't done in a while. We had a great conversation and it was only because I realized that it was 2am that we decided to say our goodbyes for the night! It's a great feeling to be able to talk/chat with someone and feel like you could carry on forever. I definitely value her friendship and know that we have a mutual respect of and for each other.

I encourage you all to take a moment to reflect on the great things that Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. contributed to our society. Here was a very brave individual who stood up for what he believed in and helped others to fight the good fight for truth, justice, and equality. I am glad that our State of Hawaii honors him with a holiday; there will be a march and rally as well to honor his spirit.

Randomness for the week:

My iguana friend still needs a name!

Thanks, Elizabeth, for your suggestion! Come on folks, don't be shy to throw ideas my way, just click the Comment link and type away!

I went to Costco on Sunday; it was bustling with activity as usual!

A cool building structure at Dole Cannery Square

Until next week, remember to pay tribute to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. in some way today! Have a wonderful week!!!

2005-01-12T23:12:00.000-10:00

Don't Cell & Drive!

I survived my first official day of the semester yesterday! I use the word "survive" in a figurative and literal sense. For one, I endured a 12+ hour day on campus. I'm happy with my Tuesday classes; I have one course in theories and practices of counseling and my other class is for my practicum (one step before doing an internship). The professors I have this semester, I've taken courses from them in the past and I know they're excellent teachers and will definitely challenge their students to grow and develop personally and professionally. I like that.

The second part of my survival refers to my ride home from the University. I live about 30 to 40 minutes away from campus on the eastern side of Oahu, in a town called Kailua. I won't reveal details of my transporter (all I'll say is it was a company specializing in providing transportation for persons with disabilities), just to maintain privacy and to avoid turning my entry into a public forum of negativity. As we're going along the highway, we essentially travel along a mountain; a nice view! I began to doze off (fall asleep), until I felt something drop on my foot. I then hear a cell phone ring. By this time, I'm up and alert. The driver realizes the phone had dropped and was ringing/vibrating, so the driver proceeds to unbuckle the seatbelt! The driver then reaches down to retrieve the phone...we're drifting off onto the shoulder of the highway at a pretty good rate. We were approximately 10 feet from a rock wall covered with meshed fencing, basically we were going to crash into this wall if we continued our path, The driver finishes retrieving the phone and realizes that we're close to hitting the wall, so the driver swerves at once! The swerve took us clear across into the second lane (this being a 2-lane highway), meaning we cut across traffic. As we're crossing the lanes, in the corner of my left eye I could see headlights approaching us (this happened to be a huge delivery truck)! I thought to myself, "Ok! This is not going to be good!" Finally after a moment, the driver regains control of the vehicle. All of this happened in mere seconds, but it felt as if everything happened in slow motion. A very surreal experience, but one that will leave a lasting impact in my mind. After this all happened, I know the driver was shaken up, and to the driver's credit I was asked a few times if I was all right. I'm not sure what an appropriate answer would be at such a time, but I nodded in confirmation but thought to myself "Just get me home in one piece!!"

There was still about 10 to 15 minutes left for this ride until we reached my destination, but I did a lot of thinking and I felt a greater sense of appreciation for the many positives that I have in my life. I also appreciate the little things in life a bit more as well! And this may sound a bit odd, maybe border on sounding egotistical, but I realized that I'm not invincible. I am NOT saying that I ever believed I was invincible; what I'm trying to relay is the sense that I saw how close we are to not being alive and well. So, I feel that this will be a life-altering event in some way.

My dinner on Tuesday tasted just a bit better than usual, I was that much happier to see my parents, I was happy to chat with my sister, etc.

So, what do I hope that you, the reader, gain from this entry. For one, I urge you NOT to use a cell phone while driving; I know that's unrealistic because for some it is an essential part of daily living! So, if you use a cell phone while driving, use a hands-free device. But most importantly, should ANYTHING drop on the floor while driving, please DO NOT ATTEMPT TO PICK IT UP! Whatever it is can wait, trust me, it is not worth risk of accident, injury, or a really, really bad injury like death!

What a way to start a semester! The excitement has just begun....I'm eager to see what the rest of the semester holds for me!

Randomness for the midweek:

A cool iguana figure made from aluminum cans,
an awesome Christmas gift from a friend!
It needs a name, so feel free to leave me
suggestions in the Comments!

Until next time....drive safely and remember not to reach down while driving!! Here's the address to the website I composed and am maintaining for the National Institute on Multicultural Competence Newsletter: http://www.geocities.com/nimc_newsletter/nimcnewsletter.htm
A very successful and positive launch; I am happy!

2005-01-09T17:09:00.000-10:00

Happy New Year

As I prepare for the start of the Spring 2005 semester, I thought I'd compose a short post to update you all as to what I have been up to. I sit here in amazement and disbelief that I'm hours away from ending my "winter break" and starting up another semester in graduate school and as a graduate assistant working on Dr. David Leake's project, which can be viewed here. I will continue working under the direction of Dr. Jim Skouge and I truly look forward to another semester of learning by being around Jim and through hands-on learning. They say the best way to learn anything is to actually have the opportunity to TRY something for yourself...I wholeheartedly believe in that line of thought.

I have been working with Dr. Michael D'Andrea, a professor in the Counselor Education department at the University of Hawaii, quite extensively throughout this break. We're hours away from launching a state-of-the-art newsletter for the National Institute for Multicultural Competence (NIMC). This experience has truly provided me with an invaluable opportunity to learn and grow, as I was entrusted with the responsibility to create and maintain the website. I'll provide you with the link as soon as the site is officially launched, most likely tomorrow, January 10. I am very proud of my contributions to this endeavor, not because I did anything spectacular, but rather because I took on the challenge of being a part of something of great importance and I created something that I put my full effort and energy into. I admittedly had NO formal training in webpage design/creation, but I learned by trial and error (hands-on learning), which provides me with a greater sense of pride. I'll continue to learn and grow by being a part of this electronic newsletter and my aim is to use the knowledge I gain by doing this and apply it to help OTHER people as well! I believe that knowledge gained should be shared with others; I believe I've blogged about this, but this is a value that I have gained by being associated with Jim. Another person who exemplifies this value is my friend, Doug Hamasaki, a media specialist in the College of Tropical Agriculture and Human Resources at the University of Hawaii. Doug is, and continues to be, a great source of support and encouragement for me. He constantly reminds me of the great potential opportunities that lay ahead of me if I only take the bull by the horns and actively take full advantage of these chances. "You only get one shot...opportunity comes once in a lifetime," as Eminem raps in his song Lose Yourself.

During the break, I continued to keep my mind active and busy. I went into work, despite Jim suggesting that I take time to enjoy my vacation. I worked on minor tasks that had been left for me, DVD duplicating/authoring, clearing hard drive space, securing funding that Jim will use to purchase equipment for our office with, etc. Little tasks that I felt better completing and entering the new semester with a fresh slate.

I did enjoy the company of my sisters, Lynn and Lori, as they came home from their respective schools on the continent. Lynn has actually graduated with her degree and will be looking for work at her alma mater, somewhere where it rains quite often! Congratulations Lynn on your earning your degree....sure you finished in 3 1/2 years, just to rub in the fact that I took forever to earn my BA, but hey, we're both college graduates now! I know you'll do great in whatever you pursue. Lori will complete her studies this spring. It's an amazing thought that my parents had 3 children attending college all at once! I believe that it is a credit to them that they instilled the values of hard work and stressed the importance of education from an early age in all of us. It never became something where we questioned our futures beyond high school, I believe we all felt that college would be where our futures would be forged. If anyone told me that I'd continue onto graduate school when I graduated from high school, I probably would not have believed them. My idea was that I'd earn my degree in computer science in 4 years, then hit the jackpot by being a computer programmer. It's funny how things work out the way they do because I truly believe that I AM doing what I was ultimately born to do, and that is help people on a direct level. Sure, I could have made great contributions by being a computer programmer, but that's more of an indirect way of helping, assuming one created programs of substance and not just "stuff" just to create it. So, what am I trying to say by discussing all of this? I believe that having that family support is so very important and vital in ANY child's success. I also believe that in order for a child to fully flourish, s/he must be provided with the opportunity and freedom to explore and go after what S/HE wants to do, as opposed to being steered or guided in a specific direction. I look forward to attending my sisters' graduations later this year, hopefully we'll make it!

A resolution for 2005....I honestly haven't thought about this, nor do I really put any emphasis on making any resolutions each year. I believe my resolution for 2004 was to be more of a risk taker, and try things without thinking about them/analyzing the situation so much. Did I succeed in that area? To some degree, yes I did! I took on challenges, or risks, without doing a whole self-reflection analysis before saying, "Okay, I'll do it!" For example, the graduate assistant position opportunity with Dr. Leake sort of just sprung up, and I was in a situation where I knew right away that I'd be foolish NOT to accept the position so I jumped right in. Whereas in the past, I might have said, "Thanks for the offer, but I need some time to think about it." Jim had something to do with this, as he essentially accepted the position for me, for he knew right away that it was a great, great opportunity. The second example of my taking more risks would be my involvement in the NIMC online newsletter. Dr. D'Andrea approached me about it during the fall semester and although I honestly didn't know what I was getting myself into, I said "yes!" immediately. Another example that I can point is my speaking to two athletic teams at the University of Hawaii. I was asked if I'd consider, and I immediately agreed to do it because I knew the benefits far outweighed any risks or negatives associated with the opportunity. I suppose the only risk was that I had to open up and share quite a bit about myself with essentially strangers, people I knew only from enjoying them on TV or at sporting events. However, I STILL feel that I could be more of a risk taker, so I'll make that my resolution again for 2005! I will be more of a risk taker and allow my gut feeling to guide me, as opposed to overanalyzing the situation at hand.

Last Friday, I attempted to organize a social event for the alumni and current members of Mortar Board, an honor society for seniors at the University of Hawaii. Attendance was not very high, not unusual for socials like this, but it was fun nonetheless. We mingled at Brew Moon, a local pub and restaurant in Ward Centre. Everyone had a good time, and it was nice to see friends who I hadn't seen in a while. My co-worker, Steven, and fellow GA, Sabrina joined the fun which was nice!

Last night, my friend, Sabrina, and I went to see a puppet show at Kennedy theater, on the campus of UH. Yes, a puppet show! It was a Jim Gamble production, and this puppeteer has been doing shows here in Hawaii for 30 years. I can recall attending his shows as a young kid each year, so it was nice to revisit something from my childhood. I had a great time at the show, the theme was being at a circus, so the puppets were all characters you'd find at a circus. It was just neat to see and hear all these children having fun before, during, and after the event. I suppose that was my last fun event before ending my break...if you're gonna end with a bang, how can you go wrong with a puppet show!

Feelings are an interesting phenomena to analyze and experience. My latest overanalyzation attempt involves figuring out if one should follow one's mind or one's heart. The challenge is that one part says/tells you to one thing, while the other part says/tells you something else. I suppose its like the good/evil characters that you'll often find in cartoons and each one tries to win over the other. It is Japanese culture to not discuss or talk about feelings, but rather be stoic and keep whatever you're thinking inside. And, there definitely ARE advantages to holding to that train of thought. However, it IS nice to be able to be more open and honest about one's feelings and thoughts. So much for being stoic! I'm realizing that I'm blogging about feelings...I'll end this portion now before I start rambling on too much!

Well, I think that concludes my first entry of the year. Art Enabled 2005 will take place this year; I will continue to keep blogging about this just to keep my focus and energy up for it! We received our first response, based on the numerous letters of inquiry/announcement that Sabrina and I composed. The result of the first response: We have our first participants/attendees for the event, scheduled for July 22, 2005! Again, if any of you are interested and wish to learn more or even possibly volunteer, please contact us through artenabled@yahoo.com

Have a great 2005 and please don't hesitate to leave feedback or comments for me by using the 'Comment' feature at the bottom of this post. I promise to respond to ANY comments that you leave!

Randomness for the week:

Me just prior to January 1, 2005 not drunk!

Homemade sushi for new years!

We went to the Cheesecake Factory to celebrate
my sisters' birthday!

Who doesn't love Ronald McDonald?!

Until next time...

2004-12-26T20:01:00.000-10:00

Another Chapter Closes.....

"Never say 'no' to anyone who asks for help..." Those were my closing thoughts to Dr. Skouge's Technology for Children with Disabilities course as I was asked "what I learned this semester. A very bold statement and a great lesson to learn over the course of a semester.

However, I feel a supplementary statement should be added to this. There WILL be times when I will NEED to say "No," if I am to maintain a healthy mental outlook. One can definitely stretch and go beyond perceived limits, but just like a rubberband, there's only so much stretching that can be had before the band will become weakened and result in a snap. I believe it is vital to always have a grounding force, something/someone you can turn to who will be honest and remind you to slow down. My grounding force can be found in my family, particularly my parents, specifically my mom. She will constantly remind me that I can't do everything and that I must set limits. I am very, very appreciative of this.

As I look towards the future, I can definitely see how important it will be for me to set my priorities, committing myself to projects/activities that I can honestly say I can put a 100% effort into. Recognizing the need to establish such a life system demonstrates growth. I definitely have grown personally and professionally this semester.

I have learned to balance the demands of work, with the demands of a challenging graduate-level academic program, all the while maintaining a social life to maintain my sanity. I also feel that I have grown and developed personally and professionally, gaining invaluable knowledge and participating in activities that will undoubtedly impact my future in positive ways.

Throughout the semester, I have been asked and challenged to take on tasks that pushed my 'perceived' limits. I took ALL of these tasks on without hesitation. Did I experience the stress that comes with additional responsibilities? Sure! Did I ultimately succeed in accomplishing what needed to be done for these tasks? All I can say is I gave it my all and did the best I could, and am proud of everything that I was a part of.

Working with Dr. Skouge for the semester was a sheer joy. He took on the role of boss, mentor, but most importantly he was and is a friend. We've developed a relationship that goes beyond the office and I feel privileged to have Jim as a mentor. He is unselfish in sharing whatever vast knowledge and resources he has as it relates to disability related issues, specifically in the area of assistive technology and multimedia. I also value the fact that he has brought additional workers into the office, who share the same passion and energy to do "good" for society and their community. Steven and Patrick definitely enrich the whole atmosphere of the office, with Steven being the one who is great at organizing and remembering where all the many, many pieces of equipment are in the office, and with Patrick generously sharing his talent to compose beautiful music and share his talents with anyone who wants to listen or is in need of original music for projects. I definitely look forward to working with them all again for semesters to come!

I have also thoroughly enjoyed being a small part of the College of Education's Special Education department. ALL of the faculty and staff have accepted me as Jim's "assistant." Effie has been a treat to be around, her personality is one that exudes happiness ALL the time. Amelia is the head of the operation, but as busy as she is, she takes the time to make sure that her staff, including the students who help in the department, are doing okay. I still haven't figured out what this whole e-mail exchange that she's a part of is all about, but to each their own! I'll leave that at that... It has also been a treat to get to know the other GA in the department, Sabrina. At first, we knew of each other literally as "the other GA," but as the semester came to a close, I think both of us realized that it would be nice to know each other beyond that superficial level. And I definitely look forward to building our friendship as time progresses!

Seussical the Musical....a wonderful production being done by the Diamond Head Theatre. I was fortunate enough to tag along with Sabrina on Sunday, and I really didn't know what to expect. All I knew was that it would be abut something Dr. Seuss-related, and I enjoy Dr. Seuss so I went! Awesome...that sums up my thoughts on it. The actors did a superb job, the story was such that it left you with so many messages, all of them of a positive nature, and many of them causing you to leave thinking about how you as a person are. Some main highlights of the messages: Diversity, embracing those who might be different, and not being afraid to think out of the box. Another main idea is respecting ALL people, for "A person's a person, no matter how small!"

Speaking of diversity, I am excited and happy to announce my next big undertaking. Back in July of 2003, some classmates and I organized an event called Art Enabled. This event was a celebration of disability and the arts, while spreading awareness on disability-related issues, especially the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990. There was a strong hope that the event would be held in the summer of 2004; however, due to the busy nature of our schedules, we were not able to stage the event. However, Sabrina and I are spearheading the charge to revive this wonderful and important event! Our aim will be to involve the community, as a whole, in a festival celebrating disability and the arts, all the while promoting the idea of inclusion. An inclusive community makes for a more unified and happy community! If you are interested in participating in this event, scheduled for Friday July 22, 2005 please contact me through this site or you may e-mail artenabled@yahoo.com. I will definitely be blogging more about this in future entries.

The University of Hawaii Warrior football team is going bowling on Christmas eve!!! What a wonderful accomplishment, to HAVE to win their final three games of the season against quality opponents in order to make it into the Sheraton Hawaii Bowl. This week, the team is busy practicing in preparation, but they also have the fun opportunity to do the "tourist thing," something many of them simply don't have time for during the regular year. As a fan, I'm ecstatic that I'll get to enjoy watching Chad Owens and Timmy Chang play one last time as Warriors. It'll be a very Merry Christmas, indeed!

I am anxious to start off the Spring '05 semester. It will be one filled with a crazy schedule, many tasks to accomplish, and even more tasks to work on! I know that I'll end up taking on more tasks than I should, but I like pushing my limits with the idea that it will broaden my horizons. As long as you remember to stay true to yourself and stand for your beliefs, THEN and only then can you truly say that you lived a great life. Not long ago, a Ukraine interpreter for the deaf, Natalya Dmytruk, was working during the Ukrainian Presidential coverage on television. The elections were and are highly controversial, scandalous, fraudulent etc. but this interpreter risked her professional career to voice HER opinion and stood up for what she believed in, relaying a completely different message to the viewers tuning in, reporting in sign language, "Everything you have heard so far on the news was a total lie. Yushchenko is our true president. Goodbye, you will probably never see me here again." That is an example staying true and honest to YOUR values.

I've been composing this entry for a while now; days have passed. I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas! I had a nice Christmas, spending the day quietly at home with family.

Congratulations to the University of Hawaii Rainbow Warrior basketball team for winning the Rainbow Classic championship! And congratulations are in order for the Warrior football team for ending the season, full of highs and lows, on a high by defeating the University of Alabama Birmingham, 59-40. Great, great win for the team. A nice early Christmas present for the fans of Hawaii, the seniors on the team, and the coaches who never gave up! Timmy Chang and Chad Owens, perhaps the greatest duo to have played for Hawaii (who were local boys); what a way to close out extraordinary careers!

Randomness for the week:

Jim and I hanging out at the computer lab after the semester

The wonderful nutcracker at Jim's office!

Lynn returns home before Christmas

Lori arrives home before Christmas

Christmas display outside of Honolulu Hale

Final UH Warrior football practice of 2004

Jasmine Trias performs at halftime of the Hawaii Bowl (the
girl in the purple top and jeans)

Lori, me, and Lynn on Christmas day

Until next year....

2004-12-21T18:49:00.000-10:00

Another Unique Post

Click here for a video entry

A text and photo-based entry will follow in the next days (hopefully!). Check back again before year's end!

2004-11-25T18:43:00.000-10:00

Happy Turkey Day

Just a short post to wish everyone a very Happy Thanksgiving! I hope that everyone got to enjoy a good feast with friends and family.

I did some pondering last night as to what I'd say if someone asked me "What are you most thankful for?" And, I came up with all sorts of ideas and thoughts, but all of these ideas shared a common theme. I'm most thankful for ALL of the people in my life who are and continue to be supportive of everything I've done and am doing. To those people, I say, "Thank you!"

Randomness for the week:

Steven and Dr. Skouge shooting a segment on
multimedia technology at the office a couple
weeks ago.

Ms. Steinlager Hawaii at
RoundTablePizza during
the Fresno St. vs Hawaii
game on November 12;
one of the few highlights
of that night!

Another rainbow over the UH Football practice
field last week, ain't it beautiful?!

2004-11-12T10:29:00.000-10:00

A Different Kind of Entry

A "retro" posting if you will. It's actually Saturday, November 13, 2004 now; I intended or hoped to create this post on Friday at the time shown, so I'm going Back to the Future, if you will.

Click here for my video journal for the day

Please provide me with ANY sort of feedback, especially for this entry, so I know if this will become a regular component to my blog.

Happy Aloha Friday to you all!

2004-11-11T22:35:00.000-10:00

What to do When Life Throws You For a Loop

No, the UH Warrior team's horrific dismantling at the hands of Boise St. about a couple weeks ago did not cause me to enter a state of depression! I've been neglecting my blogging, and have been pressured to get back into the routine! Thanks to those people who have been nudging me ever so slightly to get back into a routine - I need that from time to time and will expect support from you!

Yes, the Boise St. debacle was ugly, sickening, sad, etc. Let's pretend that it never happened, shall we?! Dr. Skouge (Jim) and I settled on such an agreement and it seems to be working out just fine! The team bounced back, as I knew they would, this past Saturday against Louisiana Tech and their awesome running back, Ryan Moats, who Coach Jones described as a "studly version of Barry Sanders." Woah, that's quite a compliment! Maybe that's an effective strategy, to compliment the opposing team's star in such a way that he almost feels pressured to live up to the hype?! Ah, THAT'S why Coach earns his big bucks! In all seriousness, there was some major coaching to do in the week leading up to Louisiana Tech...there were much more than just physical hurting going on within the team; psychologically the team NEEDED the win. Winning cures everything.

Timmy Chang...all-time NCAA yards-passed record holder. Congratulations to TC and the UH program as a whole. This record reflects the great receivers that Timmy had the privileged of playing with, i.e. Ashley Lelie, Justin Colbert, Craig Stuzman, Jeremiah Cockerhan, the great offensive lineman who provided him with much needed protection to throw the ball, i.e. Kynan Forney, Adrian Klemm, Vince Manuwai...in other words, the record is NOT Timmy's alone, and he'd be the first to admit this...it's a team accomplishment! Timmy will go down as the all-time great passing QB of UH history; he can establish himself as one of the "great QBs" of Hawaii, if he can lead his teammates to a bowl game this year. That journey begins tomorrow at Fresno St. He needs to win the "big" game, that's what great players do...stare adversity and challenges in the face and find a way to WIN!

Nick Rolovich is probably still the greatest QB of the Jones era. Had he played here for all of his 4 years, he would have demolished Ty Detmer's record easily. His command for the offense was such that it was masterful each time he stepped onto the field. He might have struggled at first, but he used those experiences and channeled them into a positive, making sure he learned the offense inside and out. Nick was the man!

Anyway, a lot more has transpired besides UH football games since I last blogged. The University of Hawaii at Manoa's campus got flooded badly. The heart of the University, its library suffered greatly! Valuable pieces of information were damaged beyond repair, a tragic incident indeed. Elevators are still out of order...the lower campus structure's main elevators have been down ever since the flooding occurred. The elevator at Kuykendall Hall was damaged as well, causing my class to be re-located. We were back in Wist 135, which has won my award for being "the WORST room" on campus! It was absolutely frigid last night, everyone was miserable sitting in an icebox for about 2 hours. We ALL couldn't wait for class to end! Thankfully, I dressed for semi-cold conditions, as Jim's office is on the cold side...but not THAT cold; my long-sleeved turtle neck provided some protection, but I was still freezing!

I got out of class, and my tray was all frosted! That's just crazy. Something needs to be done to make that classroom more conducive for learning.

Hopefully, the campus will be up and running at full strength in the coming weeks. It's amazing what mother nature can do!

Yesterday, I received a great lesson by observing Jim handle a situation that could have quickly gotten out of hand. Sometimes we fall victim to having a certain expectations out of people. I can't reveal complete details of this since it just wouldn't be right. In a nutshell, Jim and I expected an interaction with a visitor to our world to go a certain way, but it went in a direction NONE of us could have predicted. The lesson I took from this was that you can't allow your personal judgments come in the way of conducting yourself in the most professional manner possible. So, when life throws you for a loop, you must stay the course, remain true to YOUR values, all the while respecting other perspectives. Furthermore, everyone deserves respect, no matter how "out there" their ideas may or may not be. Very impressive stuff, Jim, very!

I'll be busy in the coming days with my academics. There are also exciting opportunities that have opened up for me of late. I'll take full advantage of these opportunities, for I know that great opportunities don't present themselves everyday. I'll also keep in mind that I am only ONE person; I can't do everything and be everywhere. It's called setting priorities and pacing yourself appropriately. I'll TRY my best, though! I will be writing about these opportunities in future blogs, they're still in their initial planning stages, so nothing has been cast in stone; but the possibilities sure look bright!

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention Mortar Board's recent chicken fundraiser, spearheaded by Chanel. This event was a great, great undertaking and one that brought huge success for the club. Chanel did a most wonderful job in organizing this event; the club's fortunate to have her and she represents Mortar Board's ideals so very well.

Congratulations to everyone who went out and voted in the recent election. Despite the outcome not being what many hoped for, the bottomline is that people felt a need to have their voice heard, and what better way to do that than to VOTE. Personally, I was and am surprised by the outcome of the major political race....one that you kind of shake your head at and shrug in a puzzled state.

A sincere thanks to those of you who do take the time to read and check my blog on a regular basis. I'll really make an effort to get back to the habit of updating on a weekly basis!

Randomness for the week:

A disco ball inside of Shafter Bowling Alley.
(No significance, I just thought it was a cool little shot I captured)

Timmy Chang and offense moments before his
record setting pass against Louisiana Tech.

Where's TC? He's in this crowd (I'm 99.9% sure!)

Click here for video of the record setting pass (Warning: Video is very amateurish, but video nonetheless!)

Mortar Board's Koala Moa Chicken fundraiser
this past Sunday.

Until next time, have a great week!

2004-10-27T13:50:00.000-10:00

Randomness for the week:

A cloud formation above Aloha Stadium prior to the UH vs.
San Jose St. game

The calm before battle

Welcome home, Brent! It's great to have you back in town after quite a while. My friend, Brent, and I go back about 14 years. He's been a great source of support, wisdom, and fun. He's now a police officer in a large, windy city.

Go Warriors! Tough task awaits the UH Warrior football team as they take on Boise St. on a Friday night ESPN2 featured game (2pm HST, 8pm EST). Frigid conditions will be the atmosphere in which the team will need to pull together in order to bring home a win. Timmy Chang, Hawaii's QB, will undoubtedly break Ty Detmer's NCAA record for all-time passing yards - all that's left is 241 yards, which should come just before halftime or in the early third quarter. A great feat, indeed, but even more history could be made if the Warriors can defeat the Broncos of Boise St.

Don't forget to exercise your right (and responsibility) to vote on November 2!!!

Until next week.....

2004-10-24T23:58:00.000-10:00

Self-Created Stress

Stress is an odd state of mind to comprehend. Stress is often caused by external factors, such as deadlines, responsibilities, and hectic schedules that we may carry. However, I will propose that there is a self-induced type of stress, one that our mind begins to create due to a myriad of reasons that may be true or not.

This past Saturday, the University's Mortar Board National Honor Society was in charge of helping at the Ft. Shafter Wheelchair Bowling League. I've talked about bowling in previous entries so I'll spare (no pun intended!) you the details of the league. I'm a student advisor for this club and as part of this, I've been the liaison between Mortar Board and the league; members would work with me in organizing their help for the month, as opposed to working with the people in charge of the league. I see the organizers on a weekly basis, so if there is any pertinent information to share (i.e. cancellations) I act as the messenger between the two sides. I'm proud to say that in the 4 or 5 years that Mortar Board has been involved with the league, they have never had to inform the league that they would not be able to help for their particular week. Have there been close calls? Certainly. Have there been extremely close calls? Yes!

Such an extremely close call occurred last week. I do think the current membership of Mortar Board is a great bunch of individuals as a whole. However, it appears that there might be a distinct difference in the level of interest and commitment that each member has; people are either very enthusiastic and willing to uphold the ideals of Mortar Board (Scholarship, Leadership, and Service), while others are there just there for the ride. I suppose this will be the case in ANY organized group, but for the most part in the past 4 or 5 years of my involvement with Mortar Board there haven't been many who were just along for the ride. As a student advisor, I feel that part of my responsibility is to get everyone to be enthusiastic about being a part of a club with a strong tradition rooted in hard work and going beyond what is required. I suppose in that regard, I am failing as a student advisor.

The recruitment for Saturday's volunteers did not begin until Tuesday. I'm not exactly sure why this was the case; I held the belief that a chair for the project, the person who would spearhead the efforts to have enough volunteers, had been established at the last monthly meeting that was in early October. We all have busy lives, demands of school and work....I respect that. However, if you commit to doing something, it's important that you keep to your word! I began recruiting volunteers from outside of the current membership from the week before, calling upon Mortar Board alumni to help out. Alumni members are wonderful people who probably lead even busier lives themselves! I also extended my recruitment of volunteers to my circle of friends.

Jumping ahead a couple days, I had a meeting for the Disability and Communication Access Board's (DCAB) Communication Access Committee on Thursday. I had to quickly recover from my long and exhausting Wednesday to have the energy to be at my best for this meeting. The meeting went well; I'm slowly becoming more comfortable as a board member. After the meeting, I went back to campus and put in my hours at Dr. Skouge's (Jim) office. Jim had proposed taking me along to a field trip with his class that evening, and I felt up to it. There were other activities going on that night, such as the 10th Anniversary celebration of the Stan Sheriff Center during the Wahine volleyball match. On Wednesday, one of my good friends called and asked me to come and eat at his restaurant where he's a General Manager. He had been asking me to stop by for a while now, and my schedule has been such that I simply haven't had time to fit in anything of this sort. So there were lots of possibilities for fun to be had on Thursday night. My parents were open to doing any or none of the above; they're quite flexible in this sense.

My tagging along to the field trip with Jim's class was semi-dependent on another friend of ours, Sterling. Jim came up with the idea that he would drive Sterling in his van, and then pick me up from campus and then we'd all head down to the field trip site. The field trip was to visit an assistive technology project that is headed by personnel from Stanford University (I believe); we met the people before, as they visited Jim's office this summer and they're superbly brilliant people. Long story short, I saw Sterling at the DCAB meeting, as he's also a board member and asked him if he was on for later that evening. He said, "sure!" but expressed some question about the logistics of it all, as he wouldn't be available until a later time than Jim needed to be at the site. So, up until the time of the trip, I wasn't sure if I was going or not. Ultimately, I did make it to the field trip, and I was happy I was able to go. It was nice seeing Jim's students again and it was a good opportunity to finally make it down to see the location of this assistive technology project. My parents remained in town, waiting for me; the plan was to swing by my friend's restaurant after the field trip and then head on home. Unfortunately, time had flown by and it was later than planned by the time I was ready to leave the project site.

As soon as I arrived at home, I checked my e-mail and found that we had only 2 volunteers lined up for Saturday! I immediately decide to take on a more proactive role in recruiting volunteers, so I began to call friends. I spent a good hour on the phone, leaving my dinner to be eaten after I had finished...this was a matter requiring immediate attention! After my hour on the phone, I secured ONE additional volunteer. I was disheartened, but yet excited that I was able to secure one more volunteer. One of my classmates was more than happy to come and help out on Saturday.

I called quite a number of people, and it's interesting how quickly you can lose touch with friends without realizing it! One of my friends, who I was lucky enough to meet during my year as an active Mortar Board member, had been almost impossible to reach by phone; but on this night I actually reached her! After exchanging pleasantries, she informs me that she had moved back to the Big Island of Hawaii. I was very surprised to learn of this, and don't really know all the details yet, but she assured me that she's doing well and would be visiting Oahu in December for the last football game of the year. I definitely look forward to visiting with her at that time!

So, here we were...Thursday night, 10pm, and we had 3 volunteers for Saturday. At the least, 6 bodies are needed in order to have the league run as smoothly as possible. I felt stressed to say the least, but tried to stay positive, telling myself, "there's one more day to find people!"

Friday rolls around and I received a voice message from the project chair, informing me that we now have 4 bodies from Mortar Board, thus raising the grand total to 5! Later in the afternoon, I was able to make contact with my co-worker from Jim's office, Steven, who was more than happy to help us out on Saturday.

So, in the end everything worked out just fine. The bowling league went off without a hitch. THIS would be an illustration of self-induced stress! I'm sure things would have worked out had I not scrambled for help on my end. But, I think it's better to over prepare than be caught coming up short.

I woke up Saturday morning with signs of a migraine. NOT fun at all. And I know full well that this was all related to the stress that I caused myself. But, I took some Advil and headed off to bowl. I had a less than stellar performance bowling-wise, but I think I was just relieved that we were bowling, PERIOD! My poor classmate arrived towards the end of the project, as she had a wild and crazy morning herself! She had a fender-bender, before dropping off her little brother at a birthday party. I found it amusing that during all of this, her brother's concern was "being late to the party!" Ah, the innocence of youth...such a great thing!

On Wednesday, I received my "quiz" back from my late class. I did decently, but I was less than pleased about how I was graded considering the feedback on the quiz itself, which was of a positive nature! I even stayed after class to ask the professor about my score, specifically asking how I could have done better, where I lost my points. "You did good!" was the gist of my professor's explanation, which didn't really sit well with me. I left class befuddled!

I'm still puzzled by the whole process, but such is life. Although we constantly strive to understand things in our lives, there are just some things that we must accept at face value. Asking "why and how?" won't make things better!

I'll end this entry so I can get it posted before Monday! I'll hopefully be able to add a "randomness of the week" entry tomorrow some time.

Don't forget to vote on or before November 2!!!!

2004-10-17T23:54:00.000-10:00

Thought I Was Gone?!

I'm finally back here in this crazy world of blogging!! Due to the craziness of my schedule and academic demands, I apologize that I haven't been able to compose any entries for the past couple weeks.

Quite a bit has transpired since my last entry of substance. I'll try and reflect on as much of it as I can now!

First things first, our UH Warrior football team continues their season of ups and downs. On Saturday, in El Paso, TX, they suffered their third loss of the year. The Miners of UTEP simply dominated the Warriors all afternoon. The offense sputtered again, usually reliable players made uncharacteristic mistakes, the defense simply got worn down (a defense that was bruised and battered already to begin with), and the ball simply didn't bounce their way. "One and clear." That's how the team must view this. Another game, another opportunity to earn a victory awaits them this next Saturday, October 23rd when they play San Jose St. at Aloha Stadium.

If any game could be marked as a "must win," it IS this game. In order for the team to achieve their goal, which is to win 7 games to become bowl-eligible, they need to win as many home games as possible. Traveling is tough, everyone knows that, but if they can take care of business on their home turf, they'll put themselves in a position to achieve their goal. I have nothing but confidence that the team has the ability to achieve! Everyone will need to come together, and keep working as hard as they can, as they continue on their journey to the Hawaii Bowl.

Earlier on this Saturday, I went bowling. It appears that I might have broken out of whatever slump I had been in. Things started off better than I could have hoped for! Right out of the gates, I bowled a 201. My first 200+ game in a long while! I was ecstatic! My friend, "Jimmy" (name changed to maintain privacy), came to the alley to support me, as we planned to bowl after my league had finished. Usually, I "choke," or fold under the pressure, when I know people are watching me. But, I stayed quite calm and focused at my task at hand, bowling as best I could. I was happy that he could see me bowling at my best. He should have made the 60-player travel squad to Texas, but as things would have it, the Coach decided to take someone else. I know this had an impact on "Jimmy," as he felt puzzled as to what he was doing "wrong," but he kept a positive perspective and was eager to find out what HE needed to do in order to get better. Coming to the bowling alley was a nice "distraction" of sorts for him, and we spoke nothing of football whatsoever.

We were too intent on making sure we would win this tie-breaker of sorts! I would finish off my league play, ending with a 564 series (total score over 3 games). This was probably my highest series score ever. I came oh so close to bowling another 200-game in my final league game for the day, missing it by 1 darn pin, settling for a 199.

"Oh boy, I need to step it up today!" "Jimmy" commented to me. I felt good; I was going to win this final battle! Finally, we got things started. I started off, bowling 5 frames, and at first, things looked to be shaky as I left the first two frames open. "B, you're going down!" Okay, "Jimmy," don't get your hopes up too high!

I'd settle down and have marks in the next 3 frames, a couple strikes thrown in for good measure. Now it was "Jimmy's" turn. He started off the same way I did, but ended his 5 frame set with a strike. This could be interesting after all. I was not going to be denied victory on this day; I was focused and locked in. I finished off my game, ending with a 168.

By "Jimmy's" 8th frame, the outcome had been decided. But, he finished things off as best he could; fighting all the way till the end. 168 to 135. We would have bowled more, but there were much more important things ahead in "Jimmy's" Saturday afternoon, namely a "date." Go "Jimmy," go!

All in all, we had a fun time. In an earlier conversation, I told him to keep hanging in there, even though it's hard to keep going when you feel you haven't been given a fair shot. "Your time WILL come; you're only 1 or 2 plays away from being THE man." "Jimmy" will be just fine and I look forward to watching him do great things out on the field in the near future!

Other highlights that come to mind.....I survived the midterm period for the semester. My first exam happened a couple weeks back, and that came at a time when I was a bit distracted. I was approached by one of my professors to participate in a retreat for one of the sports team at the University, and without hesitation I agreed. A couple factors drove me to this decision, one of which was the idea that if ANY professor asks you to do anything outside of the classroom, you want to be that enthusiastic and eager student who jumps at any opportunity to gain further skills through "community learning opportunities." Secondly, the idea of being involved with a sports team was something I could never pass up. This was an opportunity to do exactly what I've hoped to do at some point in my life...speak to a team with the idea of inspiring them through personal stories of adversity.

Immediately after I was asked to consider participating, I started thinking of ideas. I also envisioned exactly what I would share. I was asked about a week before the actual date that I'd be presenting, so I started working on my presentation from that Saturday already. There I sat in our van, at Aloha Stadium, prior to enjoying the Warrior football team play Nevada. By the time we were ready to go into the stadium, I had completed a very rough draft of my speech.

The Warriors had a great game against Nevada. Everyone played their best; the execution of plays was crisp and precise. This was exactly what the team needed, a dominating performance before heading on the road. After the game, the players' spirits were high; they were ready for the great challenge that lay ahead of them in Texas.

That Sunday, I attended a Mortar Board meeting in the role of a student advisor. Although I could certainly have used the 3 hours spent at the meeting studying, I felt it was important for me to fulfill my responsibilities as student advisor and be present at the meeting, should the current membership want or need my input. I was glad I attended the meeting, as I remained informed as to what their current going-ons were. As soon as I came back home, I resumed studying for my exam.

I'd study for a good 3 hours prior to exam time on that Monday as well. I felt confident going into the exam. After the exam, I had a sinking feeling that I didn't do exactly well. I quickly checked some sections in my textbook and discovered that, indeed, I had made errors. Disappointing and not a fun feeling to have after an exam.

Over the week, I'd continue to tinker and tweak my presentation, trying really hard to prepare as best that I could. I consulted with my professor and he provided positive feedback after I shared with him what I planned to do. Later in the week, I asked if he could meet me prior to my presentation time. He was busy in his own preparations for this retreat, so we both knew time would be extremely limited. However, we agreed to meet on Friday morning; my presentation would occur that night. We met and I provided my professor with a preview of what I would be presenting. Nothing provides one with more confidence than hearing the words, "I have no constructive criticism to share with you on improving this....great job!" With that, my professor hurried off to begin the retreat.

Believing that I had performed poorly on an exam earlier this same week for the professor, I knew that I had to take full advantage of redeeming myself. The professor hadn't checked any exams when we met that Friday, as he had been away on a trip on the mainland. In any case, I was excited about this presentation that was to occur that night. I won't reveal exactly who I presented to, but my presentation would take place after the UH Wahine volleyball match, and my professor, along with his wife, works with the women as well so the retreat with the other sports team would have to wait. My parents and I were invited to enjoy the volleyball game and I had no idea that we would be provided with such awesome seating! We literally sat courtside, close enough that getting nailed by flying volleyballs was a clear and present danger! But, we were prepared, and genuinely excited to be there. The view was simply amazing; it was as if we could literally reach out and touch the action. The volleyball girls are amazing athletes; their extreme power and ability to play volleyball at the highest level possible was a treat to watch in itself!

Around 9:30pm on that Friday night, my professor gave me the heads up that we'd soon head off to the location of the presentation/retreat. Soon, my parents and I were entering sacred territory in the Stan Sheriff Arena. Butterflies began to flutter in my stomach, which is always a good sign. You never want to become too comfortable before a presentation, being on edge provides a heightened awareness and ensures that you won't make foolish errors. My presentation went as well as it could have. Keep in mind that I was speaking to an audience who had no clue as to who I was prior to this night, nor did I have much of an understanding as to who they were, only having seen some of them play on TV in the past. I was able to share both of my video poetry pieces, Seeing Beyond Images and What I Am; if I could fine-tune these pieces just a bit more, I feel that I could have something that would be worthy of presenting on a larger scale. "Don't be afraid to dream big!"

By the time we were able to come home, it was about 10:30 at night; just in time to catch the re-broadcast of the volleyball game. My parents and I were eager to spot ourselves on TV, which may sound silly, but I'm sure anyone else would have done the same!

That Saturday, before attending the football game, I bowled. I believe there was some change in my OWN state of mind that took place after I did my presentation to this particular sports team Friday night. I finally bowled three solid games for the first time in a long time! I focused on having fun as I bowled, and didn't beat myself up if I made an errant shot; I just looked to doing better on the next shot. I averaged 169 on this day, and I left the alley feeling happier than I felt in a while after bowling!

This past week, I received my exam back and I did okay. After looking at the corrected exam, I was disappointed in myself; the questions I missed really shouldn't have been troublesome. I'll do better next time. On Wednesday, I had a take-home exam due for my other class. That exam involved analyzing a case from the perspective of a vocational rehabilitation counselor. This was challenging, as I really don't think I received adequate preparation to do case analysis based on class instruction throughout the semester. But, I tried as best I could to compose fundamentally sound answers. I look forward to receiving my exam back this week. I'm at a distinct disadvantage, as I'm the only student in this particular course that isn't already in the counseling profession. Personally, I feel that the professor might teach in a way that is tailored to working professionals, as opposed to students who are completely new to the field.

Wednesday brought excitement into Jim's office. The dean of the University's newly developed film school was scheduled to visit our office. When Jim mentioned his name, Chris Lee, I thought the name sounded familiar so I did what anyone else would do, I "Googled" Chris Lee. I discovered that he, indeed, had produced two blockbuster films, S.W.A.T and Final Fantasy! I could sense a heightened excitement in Jim's spirit. After prepping the office as best we could, Chris Lee finally arrived. He was an engaging individual, and actually spent about 90 minutes in our world. He shared his visions for the film school, Jim shared his visions for our studio, and ultimately it was concluded that both parties could gain from building a relationship. Very exciting stuff....I truly believe we'll be working with Chris in the near future.

On Friday, Jim had a function out in Ewa Beach with the Nature Conservancy. I would arrive at the office early on this day, as my football friends had departed for Texas on Wednesday, so there would be no practice for me to watch. I arrived at the office to see equipment laid out all across the room. Very, very unusual and I thought, surely, Jim would have packed up everything on Thursday night. But, Jim would come by the office early Friday before heading out to Ewa Beach, gathering up all of this equipment. I tried to be as helpful as I could in helping him load up everything into the car...there was LOTS to load. After a good 30 minutes, Jim had everything packed and left me with some tasks to work on during the day.

I knew that I'd be left to my own devices for much of the day, so I decided to bring my own entertainment, in the form of DVDs. The newest addition to the studio, music composer, Patrick, came in earlier than expected. I had just put on the Radio DVD, so we watched it together. I've watched Radio a few times already, but it's always an enjoyable viewing and Patrick hadn't seen this movie before so he was interested in it; I know he enjoyed the movie.

Prior to that, I ran whatever errands that needed to be done; I placed phone calls to follow up on funding that Jim could receive, I submitted a form that I had to sign for the Counseling Education department, I retrieved a firewire cable from the College's library, as Jim literally took just about every cable, camera, and laptop possible!

There were some lectures that needed to be transferred to CD and other footage that needed to be poured onto the computer. I accomplished as much as I could, and there's just a couple more tasks left for me to finish up. This makes sense, as I literally spent over 12 hours at the office on this day, but I didn't mind at all; my day was lengthened as my mom had an appointment to go to after work, so I just waited for her to catch a ride home.

Patrick and I worked on completing my latest video poetry piece that I had composed. This piece is titled Today Awaits Me, and describes what a typical day brings in terms of the different societal attitudes that I must deal with as a person with a disability. Patrick composed an original musical track to go along with my piece, and I think he did a wonderful job. I look forward to sharing this piece with an audience soon.

One of Jim's colleagues, Mellanie, stopped by in the afternoon to get help in viewing a video that she received. I was happy to help her, and she wanted to have the video converted into another format, suggesting that she'd leave a note for Jim to do it. It was a neat feeling to take charge of the situation and offer to do the conversion myself. Who would've known that I'd be in a position to even comprehend converting a video on mini DV tape into another format; she wanted it on VHS, but I mentioned that we could easily put it onto a CD, a more portable format. Mellanie agreed with my logic, and before leaving the office for the night, I started the process. Everything should be ready by Monday!

That's about all for now. I'll try and get back into the routine of posting an entry on a weekly basis! Hopefully you'll find this entry somewhat interesting to read. And as always, do feel free to utilize the comment option at the end of this, and provide me with whatever feedback that you feel inclined to leave!

Have a great week and don't forget to vote on November 2!!!!

Randomness for the week:

A rainbow over the UH football practice fields.

Brian prepares part of his presentation while
tailgating at Aloha Stadium.

The sun sets behind Aloha Stadium during
the UH vs. Tulsa game.

A view from courtside as Victoria Prince prepares
to serve.

"Boyfriends aren't permanent, they're just temporary." Words of wisdom uttered by Jim at some point last week!

2004-10-03T23:41:00.000-10:00

Check Back Soon....

Due to an exam I have on Monday, this week's entry is postponed for now. I'll try to compose something soon after Monday...

Thanks for reading!

2004-10-02T01:40:00.000-10:00

Click here to view a letter to potential participants of the Cultural and Linguistic Diversity Research Project

Click here to visit the CLD Project site

2004-09-26T21:43:00.000-10:00

Words Can Speak Louder than Images

I think I've hit a writer's block as far as my blogging goes. I don't feel that relaying my daily activities for the week is that interesting to be honest! And being one who values people taking the time to read my blog, I'll try to step up my writings a bit...make them a bit more dynamic and fun to read. With that said, I'll share the highlights of my week, as opposed to being caught up in details for the week.

I've finally been officially hired as a Graduate Assistant with the University's Center on Disability Studies! I'm very happy and relieved to have the process over and done with. On Monday, I had to get a TB skin test read; my doctor suggested that if I could find someone on campus to read it for me, I could save myself a trip back to the doc's office.

My plan was to visit the training room at the athletic complex. The people there all know me, as I'm around the football team so much. So, I asked one of the athletic trainers if there was anyone available to read my TB test and was informed that the doctors would be in around 2 that afternoon, and that it would probably be best if they read it.

Considering I would be in class at that time, I quickly had to think of an alternative plan. I navigated my way up to the Student Health Center on campus, and found the staff there to be very helpful. A doctor read my test, and filled out a form saying I was cleared.

I then had to have another form notarized, which meant visiting another building with a qualified notary public. I got my form notarized and then proceeded to turn these into the CDS Administration Office. Finally, after many opportunities to run around like a chicken without a head, I had submitted all the forms required for my official hiring. Relief!

On Wednesday, I had a great day at Dr. Skouge's (Jim's) office. This week, Melissa and Lei, from Miloli'i (a small fishing village on the island of Hawaii) visited. They worked on editing pieces from their Summer Fun 2004 experiences. It was nice having their presence in the office. They're enthusiastic about learning and are genuinely happy to have the opportunities that they've been presented with. I received feedback on some work that I had started on from Jim; that was helpful. I now have a clear task that will take some time for me to complete, but it WILL get finished! I also duplicated more CDs for SpEd 480.

Later in the afternoon, I asked Jim if he could help recruit help for my bowling league on Saturday, as Mortar Board, the group who normally helps, had another event on the same day so finding volunteers from that source was difficult. Jim was more than willing to do this and he asked if I'd make a short announcement on video. Along with this announcement, I informed him that I had come up with a third installment of my peanut joke.

This peanut joke has taken on a life of its own! It started off innocently enough, where one day I told the joke to Jim and despite his failing to see the true humor in the joke, he suggested I deliver the joke to students in his class via video. I agreed to do so. The next week, I was fortunate enough to actually visit his class in-person as I wrote in my last entry. Along with my remarks about taking risks, I provided a second installment of this joke. It was never meant to take on a life of its own; it was more of an attempt to humor MYSELF! But, somehow his students found it funny, and as I told Jim, "the more I'm encouraged, the more I'll do!"

So, here I was delivering this third installment of this joke on video, and although it was somewhat amusing, I couldn't help but think, "How ridiculous has this become?!" I promised that this would be the last of the peanut joke. It's safe to say that I took the idea as far as I could and have now run it into the ground. There will be NO resurrection!

The company in the office, Melissa, Lei, and Steve, couldn't contain their laughter for a while. Jim and I sat there looking at each other, in disbelief that humor had been found in this joke, and eventually we couldn't stop laughing! Laughter is such a healthy activity; it allows one to feel happy and enter another world of sorts, one where there are no immediate problems or stress.

By the time we had completed making this video announcement, it was time for me to head to my late Wednesday class. I was geared up for class, ready to learn. I had eaten a meal, drank a soda, had a good laugh...things were good!

This week's class was in a new location, far removed from the cramped room we once occupied. Things looked to be good. I began to hit the obligatory wall around 7:45pm, my eyes suddenly became very heavy. Time had finally caught up to me. I might have nodded off for a minute or two; around 8pm I was alert once again, but my head had become sore. I felt an intense pressure just above my eye sockets. I had succumbed to a migraine headache; this one came out of nowhere! Somehow, I dug deep within and managed to endure the rest of class. We had small group discussion, and luckily I had done my homework and had prepared answers to share as it related to the case study we were looking at. It pays to be prepared! I mentioned nothing about not feeling good; complaining wouldn't help the matter any.

By the time class ended, it was about 9:15pm...this was probably the latest I've ever been on campus in a classroom...I was ready to get out of there! Some classmates were nice and accompanied me out of the building. On the way to the elevator, I nearly allowed my body to get the best of me; I felt nauseous and was ready to vomit. But, even though I felt really sick, I had much pride and felt I had to stay strong in order to not cause myself embarrassment. Perhaps this is where my ethnicity comes into play; Asians tend to be very proud people, they always strive to put their best foot forward. Somehow, someway, I managed to find my way to my ride and made the 30-minute trip home without throwing up.

Home was a much welcomed sight on this night. No sooner that I went into the house, I headed straight for my room and grabbed my emesis bowl. That night, I threw up a couple times; I felt a little better after that, though. I took some medicine, felt a little better and decided to try and carry out my normal routine of perusing my e-mail before bed. This probably was NOT the wisest of ideas, as I had to try really hard on focusing which in turned caused my head more stress. I felt really icky, so I figured I'd head to bed.

The next day, I was up in my chair by 5:30am. My parents said goodbye, and there I sat in the same position in which they left me until about noon; I fell asleep in my chair. I awoke to find my neck stiff, and my head stuffy. I still wasn't "right." I tried to eat lunch, but my appetite wasn't really present. Around 2:30pm, my mom called to check on me and asked if I wanted to lie down. I thought this might help my recovery so I agreed; my mom left work early and I was soon in bed sleeping.

I took about a 4 hour nap, awoke for dinner, ate a little and took more medicine. Earlier in the day, I had e-mailed Jim, alerting him of my situation but vowed that I would make it into work on Friday. Things looked bleak to be honest...prior to showering I felt nauseous yet again, and vomited quite a bit...it was NOT a pleasant sight. I showered, felt a little better, but nowhere near to feeling up to go out. I was determined to be well enough by Friday. There was a UH football scrimmage to attend, things to do at Jim's, and a volleyball social to attend with the Golden Key International Honour Society...I WAS going to be well by Friday!

I had a good night's sleep and awoke on Friday morning feeling all right! My head had finally cleared to the point that it wasn't bothering me much at all. Maybe just a faint sign of pain, nothing I couldn't handle.

The practice field of the UH football team was a great sight to behold on this day. It provides me with this odd sense of relaxation and happiness; I suppose this is in large part due to the fact I'm surrounded by people I genuinely enjoy and vice versa. There was a heightened sense of excitement in the air; players were excited about the scrimmage, the Scout Bowl, that was to take place.

Scout team players, players who simulate the opponent for the starters but see no game time action, would be provided with an opportunity to experience full-contact action. Contact is rarely seen at UH practices. The scrimmage was full of high energy, all out efforts, and hard hitting! A coach later commented to his colleagues, "This is the most excited that I've seen the guys in a while!" I would agree with that statement.

I approached a few of my friends on the team about helping at bowling, as this Saturday they had a rare day off since there was no game or practice to attend. All three of the guys said yes. I was excited about getting the help for one, and happy that they would see me participating in MY sport.

I had also recruited Mortar Board alumni to help out. A few replied saying they'd be happy to help. Things looked good! I sometimes over think things too much. Case and point: I was happy to have secured all this help, but I also felt a pressure to perform at my best. I didn't want to have a poor outing...I know the guys from the team would razz me if I bowled poorly, that's just a normal aspect of friendship!

On Friday, Jim relayed to me that one of his students was really interested about helping out on Saturday. He couldn't recall her name, but indicated that she might just show up. Even more pressure!

Friday was a fun day; I found out that I was officially hired as a GA by CDS. Phew! I also enjoyed the company of Melissa and Lei. They showed me their work that they had produced over the week; awesome stuff! I commented to them that they had produced something that was better than anything I had done, and I really meant this! Prior to this, Jim had asked me what I thought of the comments that his students had provided in response to the video pieces of mine that they watched the week prior.

The feedback was very overwhelming and a bit surprising to read. I suppose one doesn't truly realize the impact that s/he might have on others until they hear/read it from others themselves. The CD that the students were provided contained one of the word poetry pieces that they had watched when I visited their class. They could have easily skipped the second viewing, but from what I read in the comments provided, they took the time to watch it again. One student even had a significant other watch it as well. Jim commented, "You might just be onto something here! I want you to do more of these (word poetry pieces)."

I had created a DVD earlier in the week of my pieces. Jim had suggested that I show my work to Lei and Melissa. So, I set up the DVD and had it run. I think the Lei and Melissa enjoyed it; after it was finished, they asked if they could have a copy to take back to Miloli'i to share with the youth there. I was more than happy to oblige. I'm proud of this work and I'm happy that people want to share it with others.

Later in the day, they mentioned going to the volleyball game that night. I said I was going as well, so they insisted that Jim come along! Ultimately, Jim did make it to the game. I'm happy about this, since he's taking the time to have FUN!

An odd thing happened on Friday afternoon. Jim had moved into the computer lab for the day, as it was empty and provided him with a quiet environment to work in. The super computer I use was being utilized to create a DVD; Steven mentioned he had to make a DVD, so I suggested he use that computer, as it's the fastest one we have. I didn't mind at all; as Jim says, "We don't need ownership of everything!" In any case, I saw a chance to pretend to be a professor. An empty room, A/V equipment at my disposal, an audience...what more was needed?!

So, I asked Jim if I could show a DVD on the big screen; he said sure. Steven had come into the lab, and helped set things up as well. So, there I was...preparing to take on the role of professor. In order to believe it, you have to envision it first. "Good afternoon class, welcome to SpEd 480. My name's Mr. Kajiyama, but you can call me Brian...To start the semester, we'll be watching two video pieces." At this point, Jim realizes what's going on and calls a halt to everything. "C'mon, we have to do this right! We need an audience!" Not even a few seconds after hearing those words, here comes a group of about 15 people into the room! I'm thinking, "Holy cow, what the heck have I got myself into?!"

Jim introduces me very briefly and tells me to say something...talk about being put on the spot! I say something to the effect of "I'd appreciate any feedback after you watch these videos." The videos begin...the subject of these word poetry pieces aren't light at all; I make some strong accusatory statements through them.

The students sat there, probably caught off guard as to what they were watching. As it ends, I elicit feedback, much like Jim would do, "Okay, maybe we can go around and have each person share a little something that they felt after watching the videos." The first student said it had left her speechless, as it was such a powerful message. The next student also had positive comments. And then time had run out, Jim felt pressured to let them get to their class. Before everyone left, however, I received two more comments, one of which was to make these pieces multilingual, which is an excellent idea. I hope to explore this idea more in the near future. Another student mentioned that he works at a middle school and that his students would benefit a lot by watching these pieces and possibly meeting me. We exchanged e-mails and I hope to be in contact with him to set something up.

After everyone departed, Jim and I reflected on what had occurred. Complete strangers, who don't know me from the next guy, had just come in and watched something that affected them in one way or another. That's pretty amazing! As one of Jim's students summed up so succinctly, "'Pictures worth a thousand words', but words can also be worth an infinite amount of pictures."

During the viewing, I jotted down notes, and have ideas on how to improve what I have. The music I selected to accompany my video was a song by Enya. Jim envisions that we will have all original music pieces on our future productions, thanks to Patrick's talents, the newest hire in Jim's office.

On Saturday, bowling went great, as far as the volunteer situation turned out. We ended up with 10 volunteers, a perfect amount. My mom and I picked up my friend, Lamar, and proceeded to the alley. When we arrived, some Mortar Board alumni showed up and it was nice to see them again. One of Jim's students arrived as well, and that was great to see. She was very excited and enthused to be at the alley. Unfortunately, to be honest, her name escapes my memory, which I feel terribly about!

Nick and Jack, a couple other friends of mine, arrived soon after as well. All of the volunteers appeared happy to be there and helping the league. Lamar helped me for all of my 3 games bowled. It was fun to have his company, as he would be a positive source of encouragement all the way through. He also knew when I made a bad shot and would say something to the effect of, "C'mon B! We can't be having you do that, let's go!" Nick and Jack knew that we'd bowl afterwards, just for fun, and they would attempt to psych me out the whole time, saying things like "Yep, that's how it'll be when we bowl!" That was fun stuff for me.

We completed league play, I ended the day having done average; nothing spectacular, but nothing terribly bad...well, okay, my second game was horrendous. I always seem to have 1 bad game a week; I'm really not sure why this is. In any case, the guys were excited to bowl, I was, too.

I thanked the volunteers for coming, I specifically thanked Jim's student (I know for sure). However, her name STILL escapes my memory! Argggh. During the bowling, I observed her shooting video with a DV mini camera, and also took pictures with a digital camera. I'm assuming she'll use this footage for a project in Jim's class; I don't know for sure though. Hopefully I'll be able to be in contact with her, as it'd be nice to get a copy of the digital picture she took with me. I'm sure Jim will track this student down this week. Again, I apologize to her for forgetting her name!

Bowling with my friends was super! Athletes LOVE competition, regardless of what it is. I'm a highly competitive person, I hate losing or not doing my best. Nick and Jack kept talking trash to me as they bowled. It was close all the way through, between Nick, Jack, and I. Although Lamar wasn't doing as good as he hoped, he still plugged away, trying his best to knock pins down. Later he'd say that he hadn't bowled in years...sure Lamar, excuses, excuses. I'm kidding, of course. I bet with practice he'll kick my butt, so I best watch what I say.

For the first game, I barely held on, with Nick coming oh so close to beating me. A second game was a must! Jack was very consistent throughout. I'm not sure if the pressure got to me, but I really didn't bowl my greatest. I left the door wide open for someone to beat me and sure enough, in the end, an unconverted spare in the 10th frame would be my downfall. Jack stepped up like a champ and did what he had to do. Lamar came close to doing us all in as he nearly bowled a turkey (3 strikes in a row) in the 10th.

All in all, we had a great time enjoying each other's company. Now the big question is, who will win the tiebreaker....I definitely look forward to that! Bring it on, Jack!

After bowling, I got a much needed haircut. It's nice and short now, I like it. Longer hair annoys me; it gets too hot and icky.

On a happier note, I received my PC back from my computer tech friend! Unfortunately, he had to clean out everything and start from scratch, meaning all of the programs I obtained from friends and family, etc. are no longer, and many other files of entertainment are no where to be found. But, I'm just happy my computer works! I have a virus program installed that I've set to scan every night, and I have a firewall operating at all times. It's funny how you don't think about computer security, until you, yourself, experience problems. I've discontinued using any Microsoft products for the Internet, such as Outlook Express and Internet Explorer, opting for the more secure Netscape, Opera, or Mozilla browsers.

In the near future, I'll purchase a Mac workstation as to allow me to be productive at home. My idea is to bring work home on an external hard drive and use my Mac to do work (i.e. video editing) and bring it back to the office when I'm finished. This system will be purchased using my earnings from work, as Social Security policy allows one to do. I'll discuss this more in a future entry.

Randomness of the week (yay! it's back):

Pictures from the Scout Bowl (UH Football scrimmage)

Steven, Lei, Melissa, and Jim meeting at the
computer lab

Until next time, have a great week! And always beware of nasty viruses, of any sort!

2004-09-19T17:14:00.000-10:00

Right Place, Right Time

I'll compose this entry backwards, chronicling my most recent activities and then reflecting back on the rest of my week...we'll see how this goes.

I am composing this entry on an iMac. In fact, it is the iMac that I was able to bring home from Dr. Skouge's (Jim) office after the new G5 desktop system got set up. I feel very lucky to have ANY computer at this stage, and although the iMac isn't as powerful as to my PC I've grown to love, I must admit, this ain't bad! It's almost amazing how things worked out...I really was at the right place, at the right time!

Jim ran the idea by me of taking the iMac home, since I had discussed my intent to seriously consider purchasing a Mac workstation so I could do work at home. He felt that the iMac would hold me over for the time being, I'd just need to invest in an external drive. I thought it sounded like a feasible idea.

So. the iMac came home. My room, particularly my desk, has a premium on space as I tend to pile lots of "stuff" on and in it. I'd consider myself a messy, but neat person....my "mess" has an order to it and I'm good about remembering where things are, for the most part. Good ol' Mom might disagree, but so be it.

Currently, my PC is with a computer technician, as the virus I mentioned in my last entry simply would not cease to exist under my watch! Things got a bit out of hand, as we had RoadRunner (RR) calling our house, informing us that we were a "security risk" since others reported receiving SPAM from my IP address. When the Security Department of RR contacts you, odds are you have a serious problem on your hands!

I'm hopeful that I'll receive my much missed PC back sometime this week. On Saturday afternoon, I watched the Hawaii Warrior football team play the Rice Owls in Houston, Texas. The night before, Friday, as is my routine, I called one of my friends on the team to see how things were going. I'm not great at remembering time zone differences, so by the time I called, it was about 11:30pm CST and my friend was preparing for bed. We talked briefly and he reported that practices had gone well the past two days and everyone seemed to be ready to have a good game. Unfortunately, the best laid plans don't always equate to success. I KNOW the players and coaches prepared very hard over the past 2 weeks to prepare for this game. Rice implements a very unique offensive scheme, the triple option. Essentially, it is primarily a run-based offense, where the quarterback has the option to keep the ball and run himself, or pitch the ball off to a running back. The third option comes in the form of a passing play. An extremely difficult offense to defend. Defenders are assigned to specific players and they are to defend their player, and that player alone...this takes lots of patience and discipline. Natural tendency would have defenders pursuing the ball, no matter what, because when you breakdown the game of American football, it entails stopping the opponent from advancing the football into the endzone. When you're asked NOT to pursue the ball, but focus on a player, this alters your whole mentality. The reason for this defensive technique is that should the QB decide to pitch the ball to another teammate and the whole defense has pursued the QB, his teammate will be wide open.

A problematic area today, in terms of Hawaii's defensive play, was the middle. The Rice fullback would run the middle of the line all day, without much interference. Now, the Rice offensive line had much to do with this success, as they would move Hawaii defenders well off the line. Cut blocks or chop bloccks are common practice by Rice offensive lineman; not exactly the most gentlemanly of practices, and although its not illegal if not done blatantly, its considered "dirty" amongst football players. This type of blocking involves diving into the defenders legs, which is very dangerous. Knees and ankles can often be injured as a result of this. Hawaii specifically engaged in drills over the week designed to teach them how to avoid these blocks.

In any case, the Hawaii offense sputtered once again. There were signs of what could be, but nothing was sustained throughout the game. Five sacks were amassed by the Rice defense, an unusually high number allowed by Hawaii's O-Line. Coach Cavanaugh, who is in charge of the O-Line, takes great pride in preparing his men to do the best job in blocking for Timmy, the QB. On this day, there would be uncharacteristic breakdowns in protection. In all fairness, the Rice secondary covered Hawaii's receivers fairly well, so there was often no one open to throw to. Hawaii receivers dropped many, many passes again...this will cause ANY offense to stall.

On the brighter side, these mistakes/weaknesses are all very correctable! I still have the utmost confidence that thee team will ride this ship back on course. It's "one and clear."

Earlier in the day, I had my usual bowling. I had my first decent showing as a whole for this season! I averaged 146 for the three games I bowled. This week a group from an all-girls high school were the volunteers, and I do appreciate all of the volunteers that the league gets, but..I wasn't terrible enthused about this group. Their exuberence level was a tad high for my liking...in other words, they were loud, really LOUD...now, don't get me wrong, I do welcome the occasional cheering, but to go on the entire time?! That's not my cup of tea...and there's appropriate and inappropriate times to cheer. Don't cheer for someone who leaves a 7-10 split, or misses an easy 9-pin...that's poor bowling, no matter how you cut it! I must admit, they're a youthful bunch with lots of energy...that's GOOD. This coming week, Mortar Board is scheduled to help, but finding volunteers will prove difficult as they also have a fundraising function later in the day, so I'll need to help find volunteers from elsewhere (i.e. friends of mine).

Prior to bowling, I went to get my TB test that is required for my employment as a Graduate Assistant. I think in about a week, I'll finally be officially hired! I'm excited about that. This past week, I obtained my hiring forms and there was quite a bit to do...I suppose that's the State for you, endless amounts of paperwork. But I did what I had to do, I'll turn in the last outstanding forms this week. An interesting obsevation while filling out these forms: Does anyone actually own a typewriter anymore?! One form had to by typed out, and luckily I was able to call upon the secretary of the Special Education department for help. Effie was very helpful and typed out this form for me, and made a copy of what I would be submitting. Thanks, Effie!

On Thursday. I had a DCAB (Disability and Communication Access Board) meeting to attend, so I went into work as well; if I was to be in town anyway, I might as well make the most out of it. I'm still feeling my way through things, in terms of being a board member. I was happy to see Sterling at the meeting; I hadn't seen him since our day of adveenture at the football game. My ride to the meeting actually came on time for a change, and I wasn't late to the meeting. However, my ride back to the University was an hour late! Jim had asked me to speak to his class that evening, or actually I proposed giving my presentation on Communication Strategies, as I would be in town, which usually isn't the case. We both agreed that a presentation of that sort was a bit premature, but he asked if I'd come and just "meet" his class and say a few remarks.

As the time ticked towards 4pm, I became more and more anxious. But, luckily I had prepared my remarks the night before so I was ready. However, I'm one who likes to get into a zone of sorts prior to presenting...much like Jim enters a zone prior to teaching, and other professors like Dr. Michael D'Andrea of Educational Counseling & Guidance. It's a way to relax one's self and become focused on the task at hand. Thursday wouldn't provide that opportunity; as soon as I got back to campus I hurried to Jim's class. I wouldn't say that I'm one who enjoys public speaking per se, but the more and more I am placed in positions to do so, I'm feeling more comfortable in such settings.

Speaking to an audience who knows nothing about you is a definite challenge. You literally have only a few seconds to grab their attention. If you fail, the auidence will just shut you out. Prior to my remarks, Jim showed a video piece that I had created by using words, pictures, and music. One piece was Seeing Beyond Images: A Prelude and the other was What I Am. Basically, these pieces were inspired by Norman Koontz's A Credo for Support, in which he masterfully comines text and music to form an extremely powerful message. I hadn't seen my work on a large screen before...I sat there thinking to myself, "Wow, did I really create this?! I must've had one of my better days when I did that!"....I was proud of my work. It's nothing great, but just the fact that I created it provides me with a sense of pride.

After those pieces were shown, Jim cued up a piece that he made, where I talk about who I am and my story of becoming. It's a no frills piece, but gets the message across very effectively. Basically, for about 8 to 10 minutes you get to hear my thoughts...that in itself could be boring, but luckily Jim asked me the "right" questions to elicit somewhat interesting responses!

At the conclusion of that, it was my turn to deliver my remarks., This was make or break time! My message was one of recognizing the power that these people held as future teachers and professionals who would work with persons with disabilities. I also spoke about the importance of taking risks and how much that could affect someone's life path. Lastly, I spoke about the need to recognize people of support in our lives and how valuable of a role such individuals can play. I also threw in attempts at humor, in the forms of jokes, just to keep things interesting...very uncharacteristic of me, but I was demonstrating risk taking to some degree.

In any case, I felt my visit went as well as I could have hoped for. Everyone in the class had a chance to provide me with feedback, of any sort, and it ranged from laughter to tears. Now, when you can deliver something that causes people to experience the spectrum of emotions, your presentation was effective, OR people were in tears from boredom! In this case, I think I stuck a nerve of sorts...to this day, I still am baffled when people cry after hearing my story...it's flattering, I know they are tears of joy (I'd hope!), but in my mind I still haven't done enough to warrant such emotions. I suppose MY standards and expectations of myself are higher than what anyone else could have for me.

After class, I stuck around and provided help/guidance to students as they worked on their iMovie assignment. That was an enjoyable experience, and I've since looked back and thought, "I could get used to being a professor." I've still got lots to do before I can entertain such thoughts. Stay in the moment, Brian, stay in the moment.

On Wednesday, I said goodbye to my sister Lynn, as she headed back to school for her final semester on the continent. I really enjoyed having her company at home...brothers don't usually admit this, but I'll definitely miss having her around!

It would be a day of departure for the UH Warrior football team as well; they had their final practice on campus and then headed off to Houston that night. I wished my friends a good trip. Former special teams coach, McKnight, had come to visit the team over the week. He also left on Wednesday. It was nice to see him again, he always asks if my sisters are treating me well, and if not he vows to take proper action. I enjoy him and I know the players do as well, but he's at a point where he's placed his family first in his life priorities...I admire that.

Jim had a full schedule of meetings to attend once again on this day, so for much of the day, Steven and I were left to our own devices. I duplicated the week's CDs for Jim's class and made copies of a video letter I created for the project sites of Dr. Leake's CLD grant. I also ran around, attempting to get the appropriate individuals to sign my form. That took some effort; I had to find my departmental chairperson, so I went searching for the Counseling & Guidance department head. That's a challenge in itself as the main office is upstairs, inaccessible to persons who use wheelchairs. It's been an issue of contention for many years now, perhaps I'll engage in a discussion in a future blog expressing my thoughts on the issue. Luckily, I was able to find someone downstairs from the department who went to call the chairperson, Dr. Kucera. I hadn't met him before; turned out he appears to be a good person, likeable, supportive. I know I'll need to meet with him in the near future to discuss my plans as they relate to my practicum site placement and my future in the Counseling & Guidance program.

I was a bit overwhelmed at how much paperwork there was in this hiring packet that I retrieved. What has to be done, has to be done no matter what.

On Tuesday, I spent the day at home with my sister, Lynn. She had to pack, so that kept her busy for most of the day. We didn't do anything exciting, we just enjoyed each other's company. I cherished sleeping in late for the last time on a weekday; there will be no such luxuries any more, I'll be up in my chair at 5:30am each day now before my parents head into work. I'll get used to it again...doesn't mean I'll grow to enjoy it, though.

Timesheets were to be done on Monday! There was a moment of alarm when Jim didn't come in by noon...timesheets are usually due by then. Apparently, Jim believed they were due on Wednesday, and to be honest I wasn't sure when they WERE due...all I knew was that it was sometime in the week. I would head to class before seeing Jim on this day. Class went well, although at one point my eyes became really heavy. Focusing was a task in itself! We discussed Sigmund Freud and his theory on human development.

The night before I submitted my first paper for the class via WebCT. It was a personal reflection type of paper, so it wasn't bad to write. In fact, it was oddly calming to write it!

I don't have any random pictures for the week. My digital camera works best with my PC, so until I get that back I'll hold off on posting pictures. I'm hopeful that I'll have my PC up and running again in the next day or two. Until then, beware of nasty viruses! As my computer tech friend said, "don't use any Microsoft products for the Internet!" Quite a statement, huh?!

2004-09-13T11:33:00.000-10:00

Even Computers Get Sick

This past week was a mixed-bag. Nice in the sense that it was short, due to Labor Day, but not as great as it should have been in terms of classes.

Of course, being that Monday was a holiday, I would have only one class to attend...or so I thought.

On Wednesday evening, I left work at Dr. Skouge's office, tired but ready to be as best a student I could be. I get to the class location, which is usually buzzing with activity, only to find no one there. A classmate arrives and checks the door to our classroom...it is locked. No sign of activity whatsoever. Was there a sign announcing any cancellation? None! By this time, it was 2 minutes until the start of class.

I observed classmates, who had an earlier class in an adjacent building, leaving campus! I'm thinking, "Did I miss a memo? Was I not paying attention last week?!" After a brief moment of uncertainty, another classmate comes by and says class had been cancelled due to the room being unbearable to sit it; apparently, the air conditioning went out and the room is such that it can become hot really quickly, because of its size and amount of people in the room.

Earlier that afternoon, one of Jim's colleagues who works in the Educational Technology department, came by and inquired about Jim's portable AC unit. I thought, "Hmm, could that be my class?" That was the extent of my ponderance of that inquiry. Surely, someone from the Counseling & Guidance department or my professor would contact me and the rest of the students should class be cancelled. I checked my e-mail up until it was time for me to head to class...no e-mail announcements to be found!

In any event, at this point, I'm sitting outside the building in utter disbelief at what has transpired. Luckily, my other classmates started heading back to the building, realizing that a couple of their classmates had no clue what was going on. These classmates are my partners for a group project that we need to do for class. An impromptu meeting was adjourned to discuss our plans. During this time, Jim was departing campus for the day and saw me outside. He came to inquire as to whether I was okay, I nodded affirmatively and off he went, to enjoy the comforts of home.

During our group meeting, it was decided that we will focus on Cerebral Palsy as our topic of discussion. During the week, I proposed this topic, being that its something that is as close to home as can be, I live with CP day in and day out...every second, of every minute, of every hour, of every day, of every week, of every month, of every year I breathe, eat, sleep, study, and work with this condition. I won't go as far as to claim I'm an expert on this disability, but I'd say I have adequate experience to be helpful to the group in our discussion.

In any case, we met for about 15 minutes. My notetaker then stayed with me, as I waited for my ride home. That was nice of her. We attempted to contact the company that provides my ride home, but those efforts proved fruitless. My mom was SuperMom once again, offering to come pick me up. Judging by the time and weather conditions...I had over an hour left until my scheduled pick-up time and it began raining...I decided to accept my mom's offer. It was nice to arrive home and enjoy dinner before 9pm.

Despite the cancellation of class, I was still exhausted by the time my day ended. My customary routine is to check my e-mail before bed and reply to as many as I can. On this night, I would fall asleep in my chair at my computer desk. By the time I awoke, it was about 1am; my mom had found the couch and had dozed off there, waiting for me to get to bed. I have this odd habit of feeling re-energized after 1am; this is NOT a good habit, as I find myself continuing with e-mail and perusing the news well after 1am, and winding up finally getting to bed around 2am.

Considering I normally need to wake up around 5am, so that I can get into my chair before my parents leave for work, this is not exactly the most healthy of practices. Living on 3 or 4 hours of sleep will and does take its toll on one's body.

Fortunately, my sister, Lynn, is still at home preparing to leave for her final semester as a college undergraduate. So, I was able to sleep in; Lynn would help me into my chair when I awoke. I believe I woke up around 11:30am on Thursday. I felt good and well-rested.

We watched an interesting movie, Pieces of April, later in the day. This was a film about a young woman's attempts to impress her family with a Thanksgiving meal, and the troubles she encounters as everything that could go wrong eventually does. Her family does some reflection on their relationship with their "lost" daughter/sister. Ultimately, this becomes a story about self-discovery and the strong bonds that the concept of family provides, regardless of all the hardships and arguments that might have transpired over one's childhood.

Another major task I dealt with on Thursday was trying to play doctor for my computer. Ironically, after downloading a security update from Microsoft for Windows XP, my computer system became very unstable. Constantly crashing...at one point, I couldn't even get to my start-up screen! This was extremely frustrating and annoying more than anything. I attempted to repair my installed version of XP by loading my program CD. This helped; I was at least able to get to the opening screen. However, the performance was such that I knew my computer had become infected with a virus...essentially I had a sick computer. "Sick" has become a term used amongst the youth of today to refer to something really cool and great, such as "Wow, that car is sick, dude! You got it looking hella good!" In my case, I use "sick" in a traditional sense. My computer had come down with a bug of sorts, like the flu or a cold.

After a while of analyzing the situation at hand, I decided I had to run some anti-virus programs. This was a challenge in itself, as the computer continued to crash so frequently! Finally, I was able to deduce that the Sasser worm had infected my computer. I found an anti-virus program specifically designed to remove the Sasser worm. It worked, the worm was discarded from my computer! I was happy for the time being. I then proceeded to run additional virus checks.

What a shocker this would provide to me. After a full system scan, one anti-virus program had found 7,000 infected files! Lesser computers would have certain;y been dead on arrival, but my computer has taken after its owner in the sense that it perseveres in the face of adversity! As I compose this entry, I am STILL in the midst of trying to nurse my computer back to full health. It is rather amazing how one realizes how dependent s/he is on a computer only after the computer fails in some capacity; this is a good analogy for making sure you take the time to appreciate and thank those around you who help you succeed each and every day.

I literally spent the majority of the weekend trying to fix my ill computer...very annoying to say the least! This explains, in part, why my entry is a bit late.

On Friday, I spent much of the day working independently at Jim's office. He had another round of meetings to attend, so I continued with my project of preparing a series of television shows to be broken into components so that they could be compressed into media that would fit onto a CD. In addition to this, Jim informed me that his student on Maui would be calling the office in the afternoon to test out the iSight camera. I would be the only person available to help this student...the pressure was on me to be as helpful as I could! The student called the office about 15 minutes after the scheduled time that was provided to me, only to inform me that the Internet connection on her end was not working. I calmly said, "No problem, just give me a call when it's up and running again. I'll be here all afternoon."

About 15 minutes later, we had made a successful connection! iSight had allowed someone on Maui to interact, in real-time, with someone on Oahu. I was definitely relieved and happy that it worked! I would have good news to report back to Jim.

On Saturday, I would go to my usual bowling league. Another horrendous performance...after a while, you begin to question yourself in terms of whether it is time to pack it in and move on. I think I'm nearing that crossroad. I bowled two terrible games and one average game. I was NOT a happy camper after bowling. I knew I had to be mentally strong and remain as positive as I could, since it was a family member's birthday and I wanted to be as cheerful as I could.

We would go out to dinner later that evening to celebrate this family member's birthday. It was a nice night out, not without incident, however. While navigating the parking lot at Ward Warehouse, I nearly got hit by a car as I crossed the road! Getting hit by a car does not scare me for some reason, I keep telling myself, "It'll just be one hit and it'll be over!" I like to think that I'm a conscientious pedestrian.

In any case, I look forward to this week. I'll be able to use the nice, new, powerful computer at work! Very exciting stuff!

2004-09-05T23:57:00.000-10:00

Midstream Adjusting

Week 2 of my semester was adventurous to say the least. There were unforeseen problems, but just as a former coach for the University of Hawaii, Coach McKnight, used to say, "You have to midstream adjust" if original plans don't go the way you envisioned. In other words, you have to be mentally strong and flexible when hurdles pop up in life and adjust to the situation at hand. Perhaps, it is here that true character is strengthened.

On Monday, I attended class...I do enjoy the professor. But, for some reason, I just couldn't get into the material that was being presented. No matter how hard I tried, I felt disenchanted by it all. I believe the main factor of my mindset on this day was due to the fact I had taken a course from the same professor last semester, and we covered the exact same things that were being presented on this day. The Community Counseling model would be the framework in which our course would be based upon. I think this model is good as it addresses processes to provide the best services in direct and indirect community, and direct client and indirect client interactions and intervention methods. With that said, having already heard the same explanation about 8 months ago, it was difficult for me to be enthusiastic about learning on this day. As a student, I try not to have "off days," and usually I don't; I usually am genuinely happy and eager to be in a classroom (not counting Statistics class, of course!).

After class, I headed back to work and saw Dr. Skouge for the first time this week. He excitedly relayed his newest idea and task for me to work on. I was excited about this new venture as well. We would split all of a series of past television show, that Jim was a part of, into sections. Each section would be able to stand on its own, so conceivably we would have approximately 36 video pieces after concluding this project.

On Tuesday, I had a teleconference for the project headed by Dr. David Leake. This was our third attempt at this, and we were hopeful that the last remaining project sites would join in on this call. Well, only one of the two joined in; apparently there was some mixup on dates on one project site's end. In any case, the conference went well. Ideas were shared and everyone was on the same page. It appears that the Culturally and Linguistically Diverse (CLD) Research Project is finally off the ground and proceeding full steam ahead! During the meeting, Jim brought up the idea of having me compose a letter of invitation to potential project participants...I just love how I get volunteered to do various tasks! Of course, I'm being sarcastic, but I really didn't mind having to write this letter.

Writing a letter to complete strangers was definitely something new to me, but its a good thing to have to go beyond your comfort zone, sometimes. By going being your comfort zone, you are almost forced to grow, and by doing so you're able to learn more about yourself and your abilities. After finishing the letter, I realized that it wasn't painful at all, and in fact it was actually a neat challenge to address people who have no idea who you are. You have just a few seconds to establish your credibility and keep their attention, so the writing needs to be concise but yet captivating. I did as good a job on writing this letter as I could; the true measure will be in the responses that the project receives.

After the teleconference, my sister, Lynn, and I had to hurry down to Blockbuster in Kailua town. The week prior, Lynn borrowed Sling Blade and thought it was due on Wednesday. But in fact, it was due Tuesday; luckily I asked her to check. Sling Blade, by the way, was an excellent movie I thought...one that made you think.

In any case, we made it down to Blockbuster with 15 minutes to spare. Luckily, on this day, the traffic going into the town wasn't too heavy so I made it without much risk to my life. We enjoyed the comforts of the video shop, browsed and settled on The Perfect Score, a film about the pressures placed on high school students to score high on the SAT. After that, we walked over to a little mini-mart of sorts, one that has a variety of shops and places to eat. On the way over, I nearly got crushed by a car! Just prior to crossing a parking lot, I stopped on the side of a parked car; luckily, I wasn't daydreaming, as I normally do, and didn't haphazardly roll into the parking lot. As I stopped and waited for Lynn to catch up, a minivan comes zipping right past me! That actually isn't an isolated incident. Cars in Kailua seem to be constantly going rather fast in parking lots, which really isn't safe.

Anyway, we made it safely to where we wanted to go. Lynn had lunch from Maui Taco and I had something from Ted's Bigger Burgers. Prior to going home, we stopped in Starbucks and Lynn got a drink. That was my first time in the Kailua Starbucks, and its a nice, quiet place, filled with the smell of fresh coffee. I can understand why people go there to study, read, write, etc.

Food and drinks in hand, Lynn and I made the trek back home. Again, traffic wasn't terribly heavy so crossing the infamous bridge wouldn't be too difficult on this day. This is Lynn watching the traffic, waiting to give me the "all clear" signal:

We made it home in about a half-hour. By this time, the sun was glaring down onto the pavement, and we wanted to be out of the heat as soon as possible, so we hurried as much as we could.

After the long excursion, I was ready to eat a good burger! We cut it in half, I take a bite, and I look at it..the burger is RED!! The cow's heartbeat literally could still be heard! I was thinking, "holy cow, after all that...all I want is a good burger!" Lynn is the brains between the two of us, so luckily she proposed cooking it on our stove. I went along with this idea, what did I have to lose really! So, of course, her idea worked brilliantly...my hamburger got cooked, my stomach got filled and all was good in Brian's world again. We watched The Perfect Score together, and both enjoyed it! It was better than I thought it would be, which is always a nice discovery to make.

Marathon Wednesday...I would see Jim very briefly throughout this day. He was busy running from one meeting to the next. I knew what I tasks I needed to work on, and did so. We also needed to duplicate the week's CD for Jim's SpEd 480 class, so I took a trip to the CRC. I finished about 4 videos, each one being an hour. By the time 6pm rolled around, I was admittedly ready to call it a day. However, that would not be the case; I still had a class to attend!

Class on this Wednesday evening was anything but smooth; whatever could go wrong did...we have classmates on 3 outer islands joining us via closed circuit television. Setting this up took some time and effort. One connection would be fine, and another would go off. For about 30 minutes, we sat there, the professor scrambling to make things work, calling tech support, trying anything to get things right. Finally the decision was made to proceed with class, despite one outer island site no where to be found on our monitors; apparently the techies shut the connection off on that island. "You folks deserve a refund tonight," the professor commented. When class starts off as such, you know you're in for a long night! I was alert, eager to learn, and not really tired...but! 8pm rolled around, and boy, my eyes just become so very heavy. I was struggling to focus, struggling to stay awake! I know my eyes must have shut for a few seconds. Luckily, around 8:30 the professor asked if we wanted a break...everyone did, and went outside. I stayed in the classroom and tried to get refocused and re-energized. The classroom's atmosphere was terrible to say the least. Apparently, the class prior to ours was so cold, they kept the door to the outside opened, so by the time we got in the room, the condensation was just a mess! The floor was wet and icky; half the room was cold, half the room was sweating in humidity! The professor vowed to get the situation resolved by our next class; I sure hope it is!

I endured the entire class, by the time it ended at 9:20pm, I was more than ready to head on out of there! We have a group project to do, and as soon as that was announced, everyone secured a group, since everyone in my class are essentially co-workers to each other. Luckily, a classmate from the past two semesters asked if I wanted to be in her group. I was more than agreeable. We need to do a paper and group presentation on a specific disability; I proposed Cerebral Palsy, only because it is the one that is so close to home, I live it every second of every minute of every day! We'll decide on a topic as a group this coming week, though.

I arrived at home around 10:15pm. I had survived about 15 hours of being on campus! Was I tired? Sure. Was I hungry? Most definitely! I can't recall specifically what I had for dinner, but I do know that I ate it all and kept looking for more food to eat! I suppose I do need to re-examine my eating habits for Wednesdays, it would behoove me to grab a bite to eat during the afternoon hours.

On Thursday, I would relax and recover from my long, long day. Lynn and I watched Radio, a movie based on a true story about a man with a mental disability who has served as an inspiration to a high school football team for years on end. I've watched this movie many times, but still find it enjoyable. The great part about it is they include footage at the end of the film of the real individual upon which the movie was based on, and he's still just as supportive of that high school team as he was from day one.

Jim would have yet another full run of meetings to attend on Friday. Prior to his departure, he pitched me an idea of a video letter, as a way for me to introduce myself and show the other project sites where I work. I was excited about the idea, but I'll admit I wasn't exactly enthralled about having others be involved. For instance, Jim proposed having me go to the CRC (the College of Education's library) and asking someone at the front desk to give a little rundown of what the CRC was. I'm still not particularly comfortable with approaching complete strangers...it'll something I'll get used to the more opportunities I place myself in to do so.

Steven, the new student worker at our office, had experimented with the new camera that Jim had gotten recently. On Wednesday afternoon, after finishing up his task of organizing the many wires and cables that ran wild in Jim's cabinets, Steven was given full rein to explore this new camera; a very high-quality one! I enjoy individuals who go about their business quietly and efficiently, getting a job done quickly but correctly...Steven is such a worker. He's a wonderful addition to Jim's office.

When Steven came in on Friday, he began to proceed with his task of organizing another cabinet in the office. I interrupted him and told him of Jim's idea. Steven was very enthusiastic and excited about the idea of going out and shooting footage. He had ideas of his own as well, so we sat there bouncing ideas off of one another. After about 15 minutes of brainstorming, Steven proclaimed, "Let's do this!" and off we went.

We shot all kinds of footage...me crossing the street, going up and down ramps, entering the building...you name it, we probably shot it!

"Aloha, I'm Brian from the University of Hawaii. I'd like to show you where I work. Come along with me." I know, a bit corny, but hey we're still learning here! We don't get paid Hollywood bucks...yet!

Then we went to the CRC...there were two girls at the front desk. My DynaWrite asks, "Would any of you like to briefly explain what the CRC is? We're making a little video." This girl named Courtney agreed to do so, and did a wonderful job in doing so. Was that a terrible experience? Not at all!

After about 45 minutes of having fun going around with this camera, we got back to the office and I began editing the piece. It's still a work in progress, I'll probably finish it this week.

Oh! On Friday, I also met with Dr. Leake and Cherie, one of his GA's. That was a good meeting, it was nice to meet Cherie. We met briefly during a teleconference, but it's always nice to meet people face-to-face. That was another learning experience...Jim had meetings to attend, so he left me to my own resources for this meeting. I think I handled it fairly well, I made it move along at a good pace and covered all that needed to be covered. The plan is Cherie and I will meet every other Friday to touch bases, and see if we can be of support to one another.

Earlier in the week, I checked in with my friend Doug, to see if he would be available to attend the first UH Warrior football game of the season, since I had pitched the idea to him earlier in the summer. Unfortunately, he was bitten by a centipede and had missed some days at work so he had tasks to work on this weekend and wouldn't be able to attend the game. So, I did some pondering and thought....Sterling!!

Along with Sterling comes Jim, of course. What a duo they are...if one needs to pass 3+ hours prior to a game, you can't go wrong with these individuals.

"We need to be there at 2:30, but the game starts at 6pm," I reported to both of them.

"Now, what the heck are we to do from 2:30 to 6?!" Jim retorts, in a flabbergasted state.

"Eat, drink, and enjoy each other's company. Doesn't that sound fun?!" I reply.

"Okay, we're on!" So, the plans were a go! I was looking forward to Saturday from about Thursday on.

I arrived on campus at 1:45, the time Jim and Sterling were to pick me up. Things were off to a good start! Sterling and I managed to fit our chairs into the van, and Jim was the driver...we set off to pick up our friend, Brad. Brad had to run up to his apartment, to give his wife, Rosie, a camera she had requested from Jim. It was now about 2:15, and I'm thinking, "there's no way we're making it to the stadium by 2:30." Just go with the flow, Brian. Just go with it.

As we're rolling along, I'm noticing the temperature gauge on the dashboard starting to rise, higher and higher. I kept silent, hoping that it'd go down.

Jim notices this after a while and says, "Sterl, our temperature is getting up there, I think we might be overheating! Should we get on the freeway or not? It's your call, buddy!"

"Let's go for it. It should cool down as we go along the highway," Sterling replies.

Additional lights, warnings, and dings come on as we're rolling along. We were 1 intersection away from entering Aloha Stadium. Silence..."Beep, beep!" "Beep!" Cars began honking at us as we sat there stuck, stalled...The little minivan that could finally gave out. Luckily, a nice lady was nearby and asked if we needed help, and then proceeded to call the policemen who were about 25 yards away. The policemen would come to our aid, Brad jumped out to help them push the van into a gate, that was closed but became opened for us to enter, while Jim steered.

Jim was not about to let this incident hamper our afternoon of fun! He quickly unloaded Sterling and I from the van, and began to pass out drinks and pizza that we brought. We lucked out actually and were situated in a nice, shady area. We sat there eating and enjoying ourselves as best we could for about and hour. Jim attempted to start the van again after that, to no avail. Another hour passed, and the policeman informed us that busses would soon enter the lot so we should make arrangements to have the van moved. Sterling called AAA, and about 20 minutes later, the tow truck came. The tow truck looked oddly small, as you can see here:

The nice lady who helped us flag down the police officers, turned out to be in charge of the shuttle services for Roberts Hawaii, the company who provides shuttles on game days to and from the stadium. She said she would arrange to have an accessible shuttle for Sterling and gang after the game.

I made a decision not to break tradition, and stay after the game to see the players as they departed the stadium. I always see them after a game, win or lose. This is a small way in which I can show my support to them. Sometimes they're happy, sometimes they're quiet and wanting to leave as soon as possible. The original plan called for Sterling, Jim, and Brad to leave immediately after the game.

This proved to be a beneficial decision, as my parents stayed in town after the wedding they attended, and waited to pick me up, as opposed to going home. After the game, I informed my mom that we ended up without a car and I asked her to call Jim; I wanted confirmation that they all had made it onto the shuttle safely...they did. Jim asked if Brad and he could have a ride from Sterling's place to retrieve Jim's car...we were more than willing to do that.

The game itself was filled with highs and lows. At the end of the first overtime, Hawaii came up short. Losing any game doesn't feel good...losing the season opener leaves a rather bitter taste, after all of the excitement and anticipation leading up to the season. Little mistakes eventually caught up to the team in the end...missed tackles, dropping passes that are normally caught, etc...ALL of these aspects are correctable. Another positive is that the team fought hard till the very end, they busted their butts. I know they'll work hard to correct weaknesses and come back stronger next game out.

After this game, its safe to say the mood of the team was very somber and subdued. My friend, Lamar, felt like he let the team down. No words were needed, I could see it in his eyes that he was truly disappointed, and he could see that I was still supportive of him, regardless. We said our goodbyes for the night.

On Sunday, we would chat and I told him that he had to put this game behind him and look towards the future, keeping his head up and staying positive. Tasting defeat, make successes even sweeter. I KNOW he will grow from this set back and will bounce and have a wonderful season!

I attended a Mortar Board (MB) meeting on Sunday, as I'm a student advisor. I've been associated with MB for the past 4 years, so I try to pass on tidbits of helpful advice when needed. This year's membership seems to be on top of things so its been fun working with them.

This week is a short week, since Monday is Labor Day. The next UH football game will be September 18th, in Houston, Texas, when the Warrior play the Rice Owls.

Randomness for the week:

Brad, Sterling, & Jim talk to the tow truck
operator at Aloha Stadium.

Lynn makes the long journey home
from Kailua town.

Clouds.

I enjoy taking photographs of the sky and clouds. They provide an odd sense of calm and serenity to me. Clouds make beautiful patterns in the sky and the blue color of the sky is something I love!

2004-08-29T15:46:00.000-10:00

The Craziness of Week 1 of Many to Come

Phew, I survived week 1 of this fall 2004 semester! All in all, I'd still say it was a good week, one that was busy, but fun.

My sinus infection, or at least what I believed was a sinus infection, has departed my body. I recovered fairly quickly, feeling ill on Monday, miserable on Tuesday, and then feeling strong enough to endure over 13 hours on campus on Wednesday. Amazing what drugs can do for one's body.

Wednesday was a test of endurance of sorts, both on my body and my relationship with Dr. Skouge. We would literally see each other for about 7 hours non-stop! If two people can co-exist after being in a room, no larger than a decent sized conference room, for that amount of time and still be able to laugh and smile at day's end...that in itself is an accomplishment!

Suffice it to say, Jim and I were laughing and smiling by day's end on Wednesday. Was it a mundane afternoon? Not by a longshot! We embarked on another project, requiring me to record television shows, which had been made in the past, with captioning open. Usually, captioning, if it exists, is "closed," meaning that it is not readily seen when a show is played. In order to access captioning, one needs to open the captioning, which I learned is contained on the audio track for a show.

Step one in this project was to locate the tapes of these television programs. After searching high and low, Dr. Skouge found a bunch of mini DV tapes that he believed were THE ones we wanted. The next step was to find the captioning converter, a device that "opens" captioning on a tape. Third, we needed to figure out how to set this system up, so that I could record the shows WITH captioning already on the show itself (it would be open-captioned). A few wires needed to be found, and after some searching high and low on Jim's part, we had all the pieces to this intricate set-up. Turned everything on, got the engine ready to roar, we were in business! But, ah, our first roadblock...the captioning wouldn't appear! After a while, it was discovered that these were NOT the correct tapes. We needed the original copies, which were on S-VHS tapes. So, back to hunting Jim went. In the process he almost got crushed by the electronic keyboard that is in the office. The very same keyboard that has provided us with hours of fun, almost was the source of tragedy. Apparently, Jim got entangled in cords that were attached to the keyboard, which in turn caused the whole stand to shift. A few more centimeters of shifting, and, boy, we would have had an ugly scene on our hands.

Imagine if you will, an ant being engulfed under a human finger. No matter what the ant's friends and family would like to do, there's no way that they could help their poor friend and loved one from being crushed. I was that helpless onlooker...but, all I could do was laugh!! I know, that sounds terribly insensitive and heartless...but the whole moment of it all was amusing for some reason! Luckily, there would be no tragedy on this day; Jim would survive and make his goal of seeing his Xth birthday. After the craziness of it all, he laughed as well and we both envisioned the mess that could have been.

After about a good hour or so of hard work on Jim's part, I was finally able to do something productive! I began to tape the television shows, with captioning opened. After we finish taping these shows, we will find appropriate segments and put together a nice little collection of video that will serve as a enhancement for students' learning of assistive technologies. I'm excited to be a part of this project, and just hope I can do just as good a job on it as the idea is in itself.

Around 6:55 that evening, both Jim and I would call it a day, in terms of being in the office. It was rather a small moment, but one that I felt was really neat. I was able to turn off all the lights that illuminate my workstation, providing a sense of closure to my "workday." The office has been adapted so that with a single press of a switch, I can turn on all the lamps and then turn them off just as easily. Having ended my day at work, I had to switch gears and assume the role of a student.

The room we have been delegated to, due to whatever reason, is not exactly conducive to any effective learning; or at least on this night it wasn't. We literally have a classroom in a hole in the wall; its small, cramped, cold, but we have electricity! Electricity is always a good thing. A room that fits 10, on a good day, was made to fit about 20. We would have student introductions, always a fun part of the first class meeting.

"I'm Bob and I work for such and such section of VR."

"I'm Mary and I work for such and such section of VR."

On and on this would repeat itself. My turn, "I'm Brian and I'm just a graduate student luckily, but I'm a Graduate Assistant this fall, so that will keep me busy!" I typed on my DynaWrite.

I'm sitting there thinking, "Holy cow (insert your own word, it'll fit!)! Everyone has an established career and is working. And here I am, JUST a student! I am so in the wrong place."

Class ended early, too early for my liking actually. I was psyched up to endure class until 9:35, and here we were being let out before 8?! In all seriousness, I was happy to be out early. The room started to feel much colder the more we were in there.

My ride was not due until 9:40, which meant I had a fair amount of waiting to do! Luckily, my counselor from Kokua (Disability Services at the University), doubled as my notetaker on this night, and said she would wait with me. I appreciated the company.

At 8pm, campus is eerily quiet and empty. I suppose this is in large part due to people doing "normal" things at such an hour, such as eating dinner, watching the Olympic coverage (in an anticlimactic state), perusing the Internet for Brian's blog....whatever it is, MOST people aren't going to be on campus THIS late! But, as I mentioned in a previous entry, "Life throws you lemons, make lemonade." That's what I hope to do, presented with this daunting challenge of enduring such a late class.

In all, I would have spent 13 hours and 45 minutes on campus on this day. Home was such a welcomed sight!!! The food was even more delicious than it usually is...on this night, my sister, Lynn, made a yummy roast and mashed potatoes. I love mashed potatoes, but I also love my rice. That rules out any chance of my being on any low-carb diet!

Upon reflecting on my class session, I thought to myself, I'm a working student as well this semester! I can finally say, and proudly, that I AM working (earning money) and going to school. I also began to view this situation as a great opportunity to learn of real-world situations that these counselors deal with in their everyday lives. This is NOT a new situation for me, being the only one in a class who isn't in an established career...it just takes getting used to each and every time. I guess I would equate it to a boxer. The boxer might not feel at ease until taking that first blow to the body, and then s/he can wake up and begin to fight. Or take the case of a football player who gets injured and can't play for a while. He might practice for hours, but nothing can substitute live game action. Until that player takes another full-contact hit, he won't know if he truly is back in the game.

I've absorbed my first week, now I'm ready to tackle the semester!

On Saturday, Mortar Board would volunteer at my bowling league. This time, the project chair, Chanel, was really on top of things and secured enough help. On some occasions, this project would be forgotten to some degree, and I would need to scramble to find help at the last minute.
Would my bowling woes continue? It appeared that I had broken out of my slump, my first game was decent and my second game was a little better as well. I felt good again, confident to a degree!

How quickly can confidence leave you swimming in your own humility. My third and final game of the day was yet another performance to forget. Absolutely terrible. I believe I'm suffering from what is termed a mental block. Each week, I'm thinking I'm bound to screw up at some point...so it has become a self-fulfilling prophecy to some extent! Until I can bowl three solid, quality games, this thought will haunt me. I also need to remember to keep telling myself, "one and clear." Don't get too high, nor too low...keep an even disposition. [What you've just read was my attempt at counseling my own self! We'll see how it works...]

This week is finally game week for the UH football Warrior team! Florida-Atlantic...a school that supposedly has athletic players, but is still considered a lower-skilled team overall. I'm excited that the first game of the season is finally around the corner!

My neighbor, a childhood friend of sorts, is getting married this Saturday. There was a brief moment where a decision had to be made...do I attend the wedding or attend the first game of the season? A no-brainer, really. Sorry buddy, I'm headed to Aloha Stadium on Saturday night! I'm sure I'll see you and your wife together for a good, long time. First games of a season only come once a year! Perhaps, this is where some might question my priorities...to me, I know where my priorities stand....weddings and all that stuff just aren't high on my list of things I WANT to see! Now, of course, if it was my OWN wedding, you bet your butt I'd be there! But then again, would I pick a date that conflicted with UH football?! Of course not! It's all about planning!

Random picture of the week:

Mortar Board at Ft. Shafter Bowl

2004-08-26T17:00:00.000-10:00

Happy Birthday!

Just a short post to wish Dr. Skouge a very happy birthday!

I'm in the midst of my first week of the fall semester. It's been quite a week, thus far.

Challenging in many ways, but good! It started off quite inauspiciously, with me waking up on Monday feeling sick. My throat was sore and I could feel a pressure on my sinuses...self-diagnosis: a sinus infection!

But, I had to attend the first day of school. Being absent was NOT an option! There were things to do, people to meet, knowledge to be had.

By the end of the day, I felt sick. Luckily, we were able to contact my doctor and shared my self-diagnosis, and was prescribed some antibiotics. The drugs worked really efficiently...at least that's what I'd like to think!

On Tuesday, I was just down and out. I rested at home, thinking about my marathon-like day forthcoming. I woke up on Wednesday feeling pretty good actually! I could have rested at home prior to attending my class, being that my class is from 7:05 to 9:35....at NIGHT! But, I felt fine and figured I'd test my stamina and take a stab at enduring this long day. I arrived on campus, as usual, by 6:45am.

What's there to do at such a time? Watch UH Warrior football practice, of course! Practice went well, the guys are slowly picking up the pace and gearing up for their first game on September 4.

I went to work at Dr. Skouge's after practice. "Please make 30 copies of this." This note, attached to a CD, greeted me as I arrived at an empty office. Off to the CRC I went, finished my task, tested a few CD's before leaving just to make sure I had duplicated them properly. The CD's worked and back to the office I went.

In any case, I'm doing as well as I could hope for at this stage, on a Thursday afternoon! One more day to go, and then it's the weekend! Yippee!

Randomness for the day:
On Monday, I saw my friend, Leilani. It was great to finally see her again, after about a year of being out of touch. She's completed her Masters in Speech already, and is wrapping up another masters in Public Administration. All I can say is "wow." She's someone who never can sit idle...she won't ever be "not busy"....I admire people like that, marvelling at the endless energy supply that such people have!

Have a happy aloha Friday, everyone!

2004-08-22T16:48:00.000-10:00

One and Clear

My final week of summer!! Arggghhhh.....where did it all go?! It seems only like yesterday that I had just learned I passed my statistics class and looked forward to enjoying my summer. Boy, time flies when you're having fun; time flies even faster when you grow older (as my friend, Doug, informed me this week).

What would I do for a finale of a wonderful, busy, and productive summer? Attend as many practice of the UH Football Warrior team, of course! What other options were really available?!

In all seriousness, I had an enjoyable week. Spent many hours in the hot, unforgiving sun. Enjoyed the company of friends I've come to know over the years, forged new relationships, and had fun.

Monday was the first day the team held 2-a-days, meaning they practiced once in the morning and again that afternoon. Very grueling on one's body, but an essential aspect in conditioning for a long season. I can't remember specific details, but all I know was it was HOT. I wore a long-sleeved shirt, to protect myself from the sun and the sunburn that would come my way without such protection.

I would enjoy lunch with the team up at the dorm cafeteria. Burgers, pizza, fries, soda pop in unlimited amounts. One could put on a lot of weight if s/he were to go overboard! I ate my fair share...my sisters always tell me I'm not eating enough since I'm so skinny, "Are you anorexic?!" I do eat, I just burn off a lot of energy in a day. Sitting in my chair is NOT a passive activity. My body is constantly in motion. My left arm, my left leg, my head, and my right thumb (at times) all seem to be moving in some fashion at any moment. Am I in control of this? No, I'd much rather look like a boring statue than a bobble head doll, but a bobble head doll is what I'll be...I accept this. Hey, if Timmy Chang (UH QB Heisman Candidate) can have a bobble head doll, they must be cool! I'm just a living, breathing, thinking version of such a doll.

I can put food away just as well as the next guy. A burger, fries, a slice of pizza, and Mountain Dew would be my nourishment of choice. I suppose I could get "large" if I didn't have all of this involuntary movements. I'm happy with being slim, skinny, whatever you want to call it. I like to think of myself as being fit. This will induce chuckles from the family I'm sure!

Later in the day, I stopped by Dr. Skouge's (Jim's) office to request some assistance. His office was buzzing with activity! A group of students were in town from Miloli'i, visiting for an entire week to gain skills and knowledge in multimedia that they could take back to their home and possibly share with other youth. A very happening scene, indeed! I was glad I stopped by, and Jim was surprised to see me, but he was glad he could introduce me to his friends that I've come to know through editing videos and pictures.

On Tuesday, I stayed at home with my sister, Lynn. I slept in, which was really nice for a change. I woke up around 10:30 in the morning, Lynn helping me transfer into my chair. We planned to go to Blockbuster to rent a movie. After waking up and getting the cobwebs out of my head, we were ready to go. Unfortunately, we picked THE worst time to be outside. High noon, with the sun beaming mercilessly down.

"Lynn, should I put on sunscreen?" I asked.

"No, let's just go!" Lynn replies quickly.

"All righty," I hesitantly retort.

Off we head, down to Blockbuster, about a mile walk into Kailua town. Keep in mind, we're heading into the same territory that Lynn had reservations about my navigating through. But this time, I got my way and a risk taker I was going to be! We reach the infamous bridge, I decided to take a closer look at this marvelous structure with superior design. There was absolutely NO WAY my chair, 28" wide, was going to fit on this narrow pathway on the bridgeway! Oddly enough, there's a nice bike lane all the way down into the town. It ends abruptly at this bridge and continues on after the bridge...go figure! Here's a picture of the infamous bridgeway:
It might be difficult to tell how narrow this pathway is from this picture, but I did attempt to maneuver my chair on it. It's about 3" too narrow. If the sidewalk had just 4" more of width, I'd be able to use it safely!

Life is about making the most of what you have/don't have. "When you're thrown lemons, make lemonade!" Lynn and I came up with a plan that would have her watch the road for cars and as soon as she gave me the "all clear" alert, I would hurry and go onto the road across the bridge. Well, my chair moves at less than 5 miles per hour (on a good day, maybe it does hit 5mph), compare that to 35mph that cars can easily do...they can quickly come up on me from nowhere!

"Okay Brian, go for it!" Lynn yells out. Off I go, as fast as my little wheels can move me. Look what ends up happening:

There I am on the road in the traffic! Luckily, there was enough space on the right of traffic so I didn't get crushed (this time!). Hopefully someone with some power to make changes to Hawaii's roadways will read this and do some good....I'd certainly appreciate any attempts to resolve this dangerous situation. I don't venture into Kailua town a lot, I'm NOT saying that, but what I am saying is that I'd like the opportunity to travel into Kailua town if I choose to and do it in as safe a manner as possible (safe for myself AND for the cars on the roadway).

We reached Blockbuster safely, got into the comforts of an air conditioned building...that felt really good! A trip to Blockbuster, on the surface, would look to take nothing more than 5 minutes....you go in, get what you want and off you go...well, it never happens like that. There's such a vast collection and variety of movies that you get caught up in the whole situation and suddenly feel a need to peruse all the shelves (at least the 'New Releases') and lose track of time very quickly. Today, I would let Lynn pick the movie, I really had no preference as to what we watched. Up and down the aisles we went, at one point we picked up Thirteen, but then put it back in favor of a comedy, Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen. All told, we spent about an hour and forty-five minutes in Blockbuster!

Then it was time to look for my lunch. I love hamburger steak. If given the option, I really think I could eat hamburger steak on a daily basis! Would this be a healthy diet? Not exactly. But heck, I won't be on this Earth forever, so why not enjoy what you enjoy if it is within reason. L&L Drive Inn was right next door, and I like their hamburger steak so that's where we headed. We get in, and immediately the lady at the counter asks for the order.

"Um, can you give us a minute," Lynn says. I decide on a hamburger steak and chili combo plate with all rice.

"Okay, I'll take a hamburger steak and..."

Before Lynn can finish the sentence, the lady is calling to the back "Hamburger steak!"

"chili," Lynn finishes.

"And chili!" the lady calls back to the kitchen.

"Oh and I'd like all rice," Lynn reports.

"All rice!" the lady calls out again to the back.

We'd watch another customer come in and order, and the same process would occur. There IS no second guessing once you order! My order was made, and off Lynn and I were to the comforts of home, my lunch and a DVD in hand.

Walking home was even hotter, or so it seemed. We would take about 20 minutes to get home. I inspected the skin on my arms when we reached home. Ah, I escaped any sunburn...how about that!?!

We started the movie, I began eating, things were going well! The movie seemed entertaining enough. I finish eating and plop my chair by the TV next to the fan. In about 10 minutes, I was out cold, asleep! There's something about having a filling meal and then felling very sleepy, enough so you actually nod off! My sister enjoyed the whole movie.

About 90 minutes later, I awoke and went into my room to wash my face in the restroom. I come out into the living room and go, "Lynn look! My arm is all burned!"

My right arm had turned as red and pink as a lobster cooking in a pot! "Lynn, did you push me outside when I was sleeping?!" Wow, this was a bad case of sunburn. NOT surpising though, I was overdue for a bad burn being that my summer was almost done! My parents arrive home, and I show my mom my arm and she's flabbergasted. "Why didn't you put sunscreen?!"

"I asked to put some on, right Lynn?!" was my reply.

The affected area began to have that lovely itchy but sore feeling. You gotta love bad sunburn! Tourists in Waikiki walk around as red as a beet, seeming to be happy they've achieved that color. I don't "get" that at all! Skin cancer is the most prevalent form of cancer today. Definitely something not to take lightly at all.

The next day, Wednesday, I would attend football practice again. I was sure to wear long sleeves again. Wednesday was a hot, hot day. I made sure I kept drinking fluids to keep myself hydrated.

I was able to enjoy dinner at the dorm cafe with my friends. Wednesday was the first day that students could move into the dorms, so the area was abundant with people and action. There was a mini-concert going on, along with a little welcoming fair for the new students. One thing that comes with "move in" day is GIRLS. Lots and lots of them. Suffice it to say, the football team, after being in camp with one another for so long, was extremely happy to see the opposite sex. "You gotta keep your head on a swivel!" was a common utterance on this evening. I had dinner with Lamar, and he was hooting and hollering at girls. I kindly reminded him of an incident he had the previous week, one that left him with his ego in check. He was caught off guard by my comment, and prior to this he had been on me about "driving under the influence," as he claims I was driving erratically after practice. I may be silent, but when I do have something to say, I make it count! "Woah, B! That was low!" And then he got quiet...really quiet.

"Why are you so quiet all of a sudden?" I asked.

"Man, I'm thinking of a good one, don't worry I'll be back at ya!" was his reply.

After a while, we started laughing at the whole situation. Prior to this year, Lamar wasn't one to say much. He kept to himself. He stayed in Hawaii all summer this year to train, and I think he's finally gotten used to the whole situation. He finally feels comfortable being himself!

That's a neat process to watch; seeing players enter the program trying to feel their way through it, taking it all in, and then one day realizing, "Hey I'm in Hawaii! How great is this?!" Then, and only then, do they truly begin to enjoy themselves and excel on the field and in the classroom.

Lamar and I said our goodbyes; he wished me a safe trip home. I went on my way, first visiting Doug. He was busy doing photo editing using PhotoShop. He was nice enough to take some time to help me do what I needed to do, and I stayed at his office for a little bit, enjoying the Olympics on television and watching him use PhotoShop. He created an amazing piece while I was there, combining two different photos so that it looked like one. "Wow," I thought, "I really need to learn PhotoShop! It can do so much more than iPhoto." I'll hopefully have time over the course of the semester to get into PhotoShop and really learn it.

Thursday I spent cleaning my desk in my room at home. Lynn was nice enough to help me with this. Cleaning my desk is always a chore, to say the least. I'm one who likes to keep all my work from school, along with all of my textbooks. I keep thinking, "what if I need to refer to this in the future?! I better keep it." Have I made reference or used any of my materials collected from the past 8+ years? On a few occasions actually, but it'd be so much easier and neater if I only learned to throw away stuff!!!

On Friday, I knew that it would most likely be the last practices I'd attend for this edition of fall camp. It was another hot day. I made sure I protected myself from the sun, putting a towel around my neck. I also tried to drink as much water as I could.

At dinner, a funny thing happened. Basically, one of my friends, I'll let him remain anonymous, attempted to "impress" a girl. So, at dinner he starts talking to her, and then comes and rejoins me for dinner. During this time, another player (who'll I'll also have remain anonymous) comes and joins us. He plays QB, and QB's have more "star power" than anyone on the team...in most instances. So, my friend waves this girl over to our table...introduces his dinner partners to her.."This is my friend, B. This is Joe Bob (a pseudo-name I've chosen)."

Joe Bob gets up to get more food, and this is when all heck breaks loose. This girl absolutely loses it! "Oh my god! That's Joe Bob! I've been waiting to meet him ever since last year! Oh my god, oh my god!"

My friend's reaction was priceless...he couldn't believe what was happening! "Are you serious?! Man, I play football, too!!!" I sat there just cracking up. His attempt to be gentlemanly backfired!

Joe Bob comes back, and my friend tells him what this girl had just said. Joe Bob just starts cracking up! We couldn't stop laughing for the entire time we were at dinner.

On the way back to the athletic complex, my friend asks me, "Man, what's wrong with me?!"

"You ain't Joe Bob!" was my reply. He started laughing again.

This fall camp was enjoyable. Each year it seems to be a platform for ME to build new relationships, and it allows people to see me as more than "the guy who always comes to practices."

Saturday - My bowling woes continue. Earlier in the week, during a meal, another friend, Jack, asked me how I was doing with bowling. I told him I was struggling big time, explaining that I would have a bad game and then I'd start thinking too much about that game and that would affect my proceeding games.

"One and clear, buddy! Just like us, if I throw an interception or a touchdown, I just need to clear my mind and focus on the next series!" I appreciated hearing those words, competitive people know how it feels like NOT to do good. It just eats at your insides, and you begin to try, too, hard to fix the situation.

In any case, I approached Saturday with a positive attitude. This was going to be a good day! Practice went well enough. First game, I stumble out of the blocks, barely breaking a score of a hundred. Terrible!

"One and clear," I told myself. Second game was just as abysmal...I was or am in a slump! That's it...that's gotta be it! By then, I was NOT a happy camper. I was ready to get out of that bowling alley, but I still had one more game to bowl.

I really can't get lower than this...first frame, I either had a split or missed a spare I should have converted...details are a bit fuzzy. But, after that frame I picked up some momentum. In bowling, momentum of a positive nature is so key if one is to experience ANY success! I was picking up spares when I needed to, I didn't leave myself with difficult second shots. I finally felt comfortable!

On the tenth frame, I blew it. I left an easy spare shot I really should have picked up. Grrrrrr. But, on a positive note I ended with a score of a 189! I was still bitter about my overall performance. I'm hard on myself in that regard. I expect myself to do good! If I don't, I suppose I become sour. I don't think it's being a poor sport...not smiling, I don't think anyone would or should smile if they perform poorly. It's not sulking either, it's my way of taking out my frustrations. I don't smile, don't laugh, I have a stern and serious disposition.

This will continue on for the better part of the afternoon, until I come home and cool down a bit. Next week WILL be a better week, I'm sure. The University of Hawaii's Mortar Board chapter is scheduled to volunteer at bowling next week. It should be fun...it WILL be fun.

My final hours of summer. Wow, I start school again tomorrow. I have an important meeting in the morning, we're meeting with a couple project sites via a teleconference. Not before I catch the first early morning practice of the season, on the grass fields of lower campus. Players will be bright eyed and bushy tailed by 7am, to hear the coaches bark out directions and instructions.

Randomness of the week:

I received an e-mail from a complete stranger after this person read about my recent appointment to DCAB's board in the monthly newsletter. It was neat to receive an e-mail like that, but it also reminded me that I need to be cognizant of how much information I put out for people to read about me. I also realized how much of an impact I can have on the community, I need to use my abilities to do as much good as I can. I did respond to this e-mail, thanking the reader for taking the time to write to me.

I also found out that this blog is being read by more people than I thought! One day, my dad comes home and shows me a printout that a spouse of one of his co-workers had printed out. It was my blog! I told my dad, "wow, even I can't find my own site if I do a Google!" It's neat, but yet another reminder that my writing can be read by ANYONE out there. I must be as honest and open as I can, but still protect myself by not revealing ALL. Besides, isn't there something to be said about the mystery of people, leading to heightened intrigue?!

My good friend, Ed, e-mailed me, asking if I went to the high school reunion. This is our 10-year mark, and no I didn't go. I guess I wasn't compelled to attend because everyone I hung out with during high school aren't living in Hawaii anymore. Sure, I knew many people, but those others were just acquaintances, nothing of substantial relationships. Instead of paying $50 to see people I hardly know, and who hardly know me for me, I'd prefer to hold off and wait until all of my friends have time to come back to Hawaii and have some get together with them.

A picture of what torments me these days:

Is it me, or is this blurry?! Ah, maybe its my eyesight playing tricks on me!

A videoclip of me bowling

Have a great Fall semester, everyone!!!

2004-08-15T23:12:00.000-10:00

Additional Thoughts

My weekend has flown by. Saturday was a good day, overall. Prior to going to bowling, we dropped my sister, Lynn, off at the eye doctor for her check-up.

Lori needed to look for shoes, so we went to Sports Authority. I love sporting goods stores; its like a potential treasure hunt waiting to happen! I really had no intentions on looking for anything in particular, nor did I need anything. Immediately, I noticed a display for Under Armour products and took interest. Under Armour is a brand of sportswear; really made well and comfortable stuff. It's somewhat rare to find their products in stores in Hawaii, so I took a while looking through the variety of products that were there.

I love hats. I probably have 50 caps. My mom always asks me, "How many heads do you have, Brian?" I reply, "One, Mom." "Then why do you have so many caps?!" "Hmm, because I just like 'em!" Anyway, I found a nice Under Armour cap and proceeded to find my mom and sister by the shoes.

Having me anywhere near shoes is highly dangerous. I'm bound to find a pair I like! There were a pair of white and green Air Jordan's that were released a few weeks back. I'm a size 9, which is one of the more popular sizes of men's shoes. I haven't seen any shops with this particular model of Jordan's, the Jordan IV. I browsed the shoe section, and found the Jordan area. A whole slew of boxes stacked to the ceiling; really not a great system to showcase prooducts. Unless a customer is patient and searches through the mass of boxes. I'm a patient person, and proceeded to take a look at what was there. "Air Jordan Retro IV" immediately caught my eye. Size 10...rats, too big! There wasn't a 9 to be found in plain view; by then my sister was done searching and had come to alert me that we were leaving.

"Help me find a size 9," I asked Lori.

"Come on, we need to go!" she retorts.

"Let's ask the salesperson for help."

"Fine." And Lori proceeds to flag down a salesperson for help.

"A size 9? Let's see," the saleslady said as she moved the many boxes. "Ah, here we go. A size 9, right?"

"Thank you!" my sister replies. "Okay Brian, hurry up! Let's go. I'll be waiting outside."

So, I hurry and pay for my merchandise and off we were.

Bowling started off decent enough. I had an average start. My second game was even better, my confidence was starting to rise! My doubles partner (we wager for entertainment puposes as to how we score), Roland, had a decent second game as well, so we took the jackpot for doubles. I was happy to have helped Roland win; we haven't won in a while.

Confidence and happy feelings went bye bye as quick as they arrived. My final game was yet another horrendous performance in this ever so young season. A sub-100 game...ouch! I left the bowling alley feeling befuddled, trying to search for what went wrong. "You only can go up from here!" I'll bounce back soon enough. Often times, I can overanalyze situations, which only complicates matters even more. I WILL bowl better soon!

Just a couple hours ago, we said goodbye to Lori as she departed for Washington. She starts another semester, her senior year, in about a week. I know she'll have another great semester!

Tomorrow will be a full day of practice. Morning session for about 3 hours. A short break, and then its another 2 hour session in the afternoon! I can't wait for morning to come!

Lori leaving Hawaii for school in Washington

2004-08-15T18:03:00.000-10:00

Getting Ready to Rock 'N Roll

As I sit here, pondering why my knuckle on my right pinky finger is sore, I am less than 8 days away from the fall semester. Once August 23rd comes, as they say, "It's rock 'n roll time!" This fall will be crazy, I just know that already. Combine work duties, class duties, civic duties, social engagements, etc. and that makes for one BUSY schedule. Am I aprrehensive about it? I'd be lying if I said I wasn't...I am just a little skeptical that I'll actually make it to December and still have my sanity! Am I excited about the schedule? Very much so!

Each year, I keep telling myself, "Wow, nothing can top the year I just had," but life is such that you never really know what lies around the corner. Each year is like reading a whole new installment of J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter; you finish the latest book as fast as you can and then become so eager to read the next book...but then realize, you'll need to wait a whole year or more for the next one to be published, so you resort to re-reading past books and then read the current book again. Am I a fan of Harry Potter? No! In fact, I haven't read ANY of the books, nor have I seen the major motion film versions. But, I do have sisters, and boy you can learn a whole lot from them!

In any case, this year appears to be one that will have major implications on my future. Another such year, off the top of my head, was 2001, when I was an active member of the Hui Po'okela Mortar Board (the University of Hawaii's chapter of the National Honor Society for Seniors). I've written about Mortar Board in a prior entry, but I'll go a little more in-depth just for the sake of completing my story. I was inducted in April 2001, and prior to this, candidates need to go through a whole application process, which incluudes an interview portion with the interviews conducted by current members. I did my interview electronically, I believe we resorted to using a chatting function that allowed us to communicate in real-time via text. I was happy they were accommodating in that regard. During the interview, they'd throw out your occassional question that makes you go "What the heck is this group about?!" "If you could be a tree, what tree would you be?" or "Can you tell us a joke?" So, I endured all of this...but one thing stuck in my mind. More than once, I was told of Mortar Board member's requirements over the course of the year-long term..."You know members need to participate in 10 service projects and chair at least 2....Do you think you can handle this aspect of membership?" At the time, I gave an honest answer to the effect of, "I really don't know, but I'd sure love the opportunity to try." As I reflected back, I realized they were questioning MY abilities!

I LOVE it when my abilities are question. I'm one who takes it as a challenge to demonstrate that I am as capable as the next person. "Tell me I can't, I'll show you I CAN" is one of the mottos that I adhere to in my approach to life. So, I took completing the service project requirements as a challenge. By the time summer ended, I was 1 project away from completing my quota. At first, I thought I'd stop after finishing the minimum. But the more and more I participated in these projects, the more I grew to enjoy them and actually looked forward to the next one! I did hit the magic number of 10, but didn't stop there. "Can you handle 10 projects?" Yes I can, and then some! I helped clean and paint the park by Kaimuki High School with my friend Lynnett; Lynnett is one of those people you meet and has an impact on you for the rest of your life. We went to that beautification project, not knowing a whole lot about one another, but she took charge and said, "Okay Brian, do you want to paint or help me wash screens first?" I believe we washed screens, and then we proceeded to paint.

I suppose a recurring image of a person with a disability in society is that of a lazy, frail individual who doesn't do more than necessary...s/he won't push her/himself to the limit. This image is far from reality. Sure, you will find individuals who fit this mold that society has constructed of them, but I would argue that the amount is really low. On that same note, those who don't fit this mold cast upon them by society aren't superheroes. They are simply living their lives!

Admiration for what someone does IN SPITE of a disability and raising their status to "superhero", is NOT admiration; that is called handing out chairty. Admiring someone for what they do WITH a disability is called respect. "Respect is earned, not given."

Other memorable projects I participated in is the Honolulu Marathon starting line. I can recall attending a UH Warrior football game earlier that day, I believe it might have been the awesome beating of BYU, a despised rival! My sister, Lynn, had arrived back from school in Oregon and attended the game with my parents and I. The project called for us to be there at midnight....why did I choose to attend this project, when in fact I didn't have to? Well, how many opportunities does one have to be a part of the Honolulu Marathon and be up at the crazy hours after midnight? I speak only for myself, but there aren't many opportunities like this! So, there I was, at 11:30pm waking up from a short nap, thinking "what the heck am I doing?!" And on top of that, I recruited my sister, Lynn, to come along! I was there along with about 10 other eager, but tired Mortar Board members, led by Taron (thanks for being THE first person to leave me a comment, Taron!). I was stationed by the entrance for the tour bus parking, I was to direct these huge busses into Ala Moana Beach Park. At first, the adrenaline had me chipper and excited to be there. Eventually, it became a chore to say the least. It began to rain and a rain at 3 in the morning makes for chilly conditions! By the time 6am came, and the runners ran by us, I was ready to head home for a long, long nap. My sister was even more ready to do the same. Those projects are just a couple that stand out in my mind; I ended up with about 30 projects. I was proud and felt fulfilled by the time my term was completed.

Soon, I'll be chronicling my semester and all the fun that will unfold. This week, I took time to enjoy something that I love...UH Warrior football. Monday at 3pm, was the first practice. It was more of a way to get everyone used to the idea of practicing; nothing major was accomplished. However, the team held their conditioning test. Players, by their position, had to run 220-yards, ten times under a certain amount of time. This is a greuling test of the mind, body, and spirit...coaches use it to see who's in-shape and who needs extra work. It was great being back out there around the guys...admittedly, lots of the players I knew, and players who knew me (more than just the guy in the chair), but still it was neat to go out there and hear, "Hey B!" "Bri, what's going on you snapper head?!" "B's in the house!" etc. I knew I belonged, I should be there.

After running, Lamar (a defensive player) comes up to me and says, "Yeah, I did that sh*t again, because of you, man. I saw you sitting there and I told myself 'Nothing is impossible, you just gotta fight through it sometimes!' Two out of the three years ain't bad huh?!" I nodded affirmatively. Earlier in the practice, he pulled his groin, but he didn't let that stop him from practicing. Things like that help motivate/inspire me to go all out no mattter what.

Later, Lamar and I would converse over dinner. Players have little time to eat and relax, before having to attend meetings to go over film and to learn different plays/coverages, so dinner is often a rushed aspect. So, I resorted to my paper/pen to communicate, just because it was "there" and it was easier to write and eat, as opposed to taking out my DynaWrite. I KNOW eventually, I will use the DynaWrite...I'm still getting accustomed to having it at my disposal. During our conversation, I told him that I was going to be a GA this fall. He was genuinely happy for me, and said "Hell yeah! That's hella cool, man. You go do your thing!"

It's a neat feeling to be supportive of one another's activities...I support him as a football player, and he supports me as a student. There's a mutual respect. We said our goodbyes for the day, and his parting comment was "You best have your ass out here tomorrow, you can't be missing practices!"

On Tuesday, I wasn't planning on coming into town, but my friend, Lissa, had called and asked if we could meet up as she was leaving for Oregon on the 18th. Lissa and I have been friends since my final semester as an undergraduate. We were classmates in Norma Jean Stodden's class, and I believe we "met" because we did a group project together. I felt like a fish out of water in that class...there I was, only 1 of 2 undergraduates amongst 20 graduate/doctorate students.

I suppose through a natural progression, Lissa and I forged a friendship. We'd discuss our project and then talk about whatever else was on our minds. On a few occassions, we hung out just to hang out...I enjoyed that. During that semester, I relayed the fact that I was graduating soon and was debating whether or not to continue on with graduate school. Lissa was one of the first persons to tell me that I definitely should attend, and my qualities were such that I'd make for an excellent candidate in Counseling & Guidance, the program she was completing that same semester. So, essentially I'm in graduate school, doing the things I'm doing, thanks in large part to Lissa, planting that seed in my mind that, yes, it was a plausible idea to pursue.

On Tuesday, it was a chance for us to say our goodbyes, but more importantly, to catch up on each other's going ons. We hadn't seen each other in a while, as she lives an incredibly busy life and my life is somewhat busy at the moment. So, it was nice....Dr. Skouge allowed me to use the office as a meeting place. After a while, Lissa did get chilly, but that's a bit odd considering she's an Oregonian at heart AND is moving back to Oregon, home of ducks, rain, and cold! Go figure... Anyway, she suggested we find a warmer climate, so off we went. We went back to her dorm, and chatted for a bit longer. She induced me to play air hockey, and I'm not one to pass up any form of competition. I've never played air hockey before, but all excuses aside, she whipped me pretty good! I did score a few goals, though!

Soon, it was time to say our goodbyes. I'm not one who enjoys goodbyes, I've seen too many friends find greener pastures on the mainland over the years. And still, it never becomes easy. But, of course, keeping in touch these days is easy...we literally can be in touch with the click of a few buttons! So, I know Lissa and I will maintain our friendship, while she develops herself professionally at Oregon, so she can pursue her career goals. I definitely have the confidence that she will end up doing what she wants to do, and do a wonderful job as well!

And, as she mentioned, this wasn't a goodbye forever....she does have a roundtrip ticket! So, we'll see each other when she returns for a visit, probably in December. I'll miss her presence her, though...no question about that. Aloha and good luck, Lissa!

In a few hours, I'll say goodbye to my sister, Lori, who's returning to Washington for another semester of school. Time just flew by while she was here and in her final days of enjoying home, she was busy finishing up shopping and all that good stuff. We didn't have time to do an interview, and I felt it wasn't proper to rush through such an undertaking. So, for the time being, at least, its on hold. Jim reminded me that there's always the telephone, should we need to conduct interviews. It looks like that will be the route we take with this.

My other sister, Lynn, leaves for Oregon in September so we still have quite a bit of time left to enjoy/loathe each other's company. Actually, I do enjoy her company...we do have an odd way of getting along...

On Wednesday, I stayed at home with my sisters. I told them that if they picked up some Cold Stone ice cream and lunch from Teddy's Burger from down the road, I'd treat them as well. Originally, my plan was to travel down to Kailua town on my chair and Lynn would drive down by car. But, Lynn pointed out that it probably wasn't the safest for me to venture down to the tow, as there's construction going on, plus there's an area along the way that requires me to feel like I'm in a Frogger video game and maneuver my way on the street, with traffic zooming past me. A very hazardous situation, but one that has existed for year's on end. There's a bridge with a very, very narrow sidewalk just as you enter Kailua town. There's no way a wheelchair could fit on that walkway, no way at all. All it needs is about 6 inches more of witdth, and it'd solve the problem! So, if anyone from the State or City & County Roadway Planning Commission is reading this, your attention to this matter would be greatly appreciated!

On Thursday, I attended another function of the Disability and Communnication Access Board (DCAB), this time it was a Committee on Communication Access (CAC) meeting. As a board member, I'm also serving on the CAC. The foootball team had a morning practice, so I attended that and then went to my meeting. My ride to the meeting, arranged by DCAB, was an accessible cab. They were late, for the second time (2 out of 2 times...bad odds so far!) and in turn I was late to this meeting. However, once I got there, things went as well as they could have. I was happy to see a familiar face in Sterling when I arrived. Immediately, I was reminded how feeble a mind I have as there were a ton of accronyms (okay, only about 4 were mention, but still it felt like a lot!) being discussed, and I sat there trying to decipher the first one I heard! I noticed that most, if not all, of the issues that the CAC discussed were related to the deaf and hearing impaired community. The reason for this is that almost all of the committee members are deaf or hearing impaired. I hope to share and bring up a new perspective, representing the speech impaired community and augmentative communication users alike.

After the meeting, the President of the Board, Dr. Lucy Miller, and I met, just so she could better orient me to the going ons of DCAB and the CAC. This was a helpful meeting as I got to ask questions and Lucy, in turn, got to know a little more about what I bring to the Board.

It looks like it will be one hectic, but awesome Fall semester. I'm ready to rock 'n roll...Are you?!

Randomness of the week:

My sisters have fun preparing my dad's dinner plate

Brian enjoys lunch from Teddy's Burgers

Pictures from UH Warrior football camp

Brian getting "in the zone" prior to bowling

Lori & I

2004-08-08T17:17:00.000-10:00

Mama Said There'd Be Days Like This...

T-minus 2 weeks and counting until the Fall 2004 semester starts. I'm excited about getting things started up again in terms of making progress towards earning my Masters in Education from Counseling & Guidance (with a Vocational Rehabilitation emphasis), but there is still that little boy in me who wishes summer would never end!

This past week, I would sum up as blah. "Blah" is a word defined by Webster's Dictionary, but the way I use the term means that the week won't be one that I'll be quick to remember when reflecting back on my summer.

It started off fair enough though. On Tuesday, I met with my VR counselors to discuss my upcoming employment during the fall and making a plan to allow me to keep my benefits as a person with a disability, while earning income from work. There's a common thought among the disability community that disability benefits (SSI, Medicaid, etc) are set up in such a way that makes one feel like it would put them at a DISadvantage to actually work and make a go at it. This is a complicated matter, and one I won't discuss in-depth at this time. Essentially, the argument is such that, "Why should I work X amount of hours to earn Y amount of income, when I can earn more than Y amount by simply living (and not working). On top of that, should I earn more than Z amount, I could lose my Y amount all together, and simply living off of the earned income would place me at a distinct disadvantage." I probably didn't explain it clearly, but you get the picture...it's a messy issue to deal with, but one that holds serious implications.

Getting back to my Tuesday meeting, I had arranged it a few days prior, and it was such a neat feeling to be able to say/state, "Perhaps, we could meet at my office." Of course, being that I haven't fully adjusted to having this situation of actually having a space I can call "home" away from home, I cleared it with Dr. Skouge (Jim), who is THE actual office "owner." Jim quickly said something to the effect of sure, that's no problem at all and there's really no need to ask since it's your office, too. This, perhaps, was when the light bulb went off in my head that, "Wow, I actually have a space on campus!" I suppose after being a campus dweller for 8+ years, one could almost have a space by default...I did/do not think that way. I see every opportunity as being earned, NOTHING is given to you in life...if there's anything that has stuck with me throughout my life, it is this.

Prior to this, I guess my home away from home on campus that I felt most comfortable and welcomed would have been the grass fields of Lower Campus, where the University of Hawaii Warrior Football team practices and works out throughout the year. I've been extremely lucky to be one of the few "outsiders," who has been taken in (accepted) by the team each season and have been a part of all the highs and lows that a season brings. Coach June Jones, from his arrival in 1999 to this very day, has been so welcoming and embracing of my presence around the team. You know someone really cares about you when they take the time to ask you, "How's school going? You passing all your courses, right?!" Why do I bring up football? This week officially begins the Warrior football season, as fall camp begins. Fall camp provides the team to practice as a unit under the direction of coaches (there's a "down" time, where players/coaches can't have any contact related to football instruction) and it is an opportunity for the team to bond. Players will see no one other than their teammates for the next 2 weeks straight, they'll live together under the same roof...wake up, eat breakfast, attend meetings, practice/workout, eat lunch, attend more meetings, practice, eat dinner, attend even more meetings, and then call it a day all as ONE unit. It's really a neat process to watch and absorb; players will create friendships with one another that will far exceed their days as teammates on a football team; there will be mini-battles during practices, where one might want to knock the snot out of another, but once practice ends, those same two players can be seen sharing a laugh over a meal; players will pull pranks on one another, and then the rest of camp will become a test of who can out prank whom...really great stuff!

In any case, my meeting with my VR counselors went over quite well. I expressed my feelings clearly, and we made sure that we (my counselors and I) were on the same page. Jim came in at one point during the meeting and provided even more words of support on my behalf, which he's done so many times since we've reconnected. This fall will make one-year since we've been developing our relationship, after being disconnected for some time. I truly appreciate all of the support, guidance, and encouragement he has and is providing me.

On Wednesday, I woke up with a migraine headache as I chronicled in my last entry. That night, I went to bed, excited to wake up refreshed and feeling good. Again, as I've mentioned, things don't always pan out the way you hope.

On Thursday, I awoke to a lingering pain in my head. I suppose I could have waved my little white flag and surrendered to what my body was telling me...I needed to rest...but I quickly threw that idea out, as I knew we would be having an important teleconference regarding the project that Dr. David Leake is spearheading. And being that he has the confidence in Jim's belief that I would be a good candidate to participate in this, and take on a Graduate Assistant position, I felt I had no choice but to attend. So, I took 3 Advils, and off to work I went. I didn't take 4, only because I felt a little better than the day before and I didn't want to take more medicine than I really needed. This began what would become a day filled with blunders and mistakes.

I arrived on campus before 7am, and already I felt less than 100%. I was going to make the most of this day, regardless. Task one involved duplicating a DVD for Jim's colleague, Dr. Rhonda Black. Did I really know how to go about doing this? Honestly, no. Was I eager to explore and try? Most certainly. Thus, I began my process of learning by trial..and hopefully minimal error. I did a test run, using a "cheaper" DVD disc. A click here, a click there, and voila, it seemed to be doing it! Now came the true test...playing the DVD in another machine...did it work? Yes! It was a mixture of accomplishment and relief. So, I proceeded to create another copy using a high-quality disc. DVD duplication is a process of time, waiting, and patience. So, I prepared to get myself mentally ready for this teleconference, really not knowing what to expect.

I arrived back at the office from a visit to KOKUA and the restroom, to find Jim already engaged in conversation with Dr. Leake. This was a brief conversation, mainly to get us in the loop as to what was to unfold. After concluding this preliminary conversation with Dr. Leake, Jim and I exchanged pleasantries and what not. I told him that I wasn't feeling my best due the effects of my migraine, but that I would do my best. Jim commented, "I knew something was wrong as soon as you came in the door." Little comments like this help to confirm the fact that, yes, indeed a relationship is being forged here. "Don't push yourself too hard," Jim commented to me.

Our teleconference was very helpful, at least for myself, since I got to hear where everyone else was from/coming from in terms of approaches to this project. I won't get into details about our conference, but my concluding statement to the group was something to the effect of, "It was nice meeting you all and I'd like to stress the importance of having fun with this project!" It's probably a natural reaction to get caught up in one's work involving research and almost take on a mechanical approach to one's task. In order to do the very best on anything, the person doing the task needs to find some way to connect themselves to it and have fun! It's okay to have fun while working! I get to experience this first-hand each and every time I go into work at Jim's office. Case studies...this term reminds me of people who are deceased and no longer with us. Our project is NOT dealing with people who have passed on, but rather with people who are here and living in this very moment! Let's enable these individuals to share their stories in such a way that will be just as empowering and meaningful to them, as the results of their shared stories will be valuable for the benefactors of this project, namely Special Education transition teachers/specialists and other educators.

Teleconferencing with other professionals was a whole new ballgame for me; I didn't want to say anything that would make me look silly, for I know I'm essentially representing the University of Hawaii in the broader picture, and I always want to have the University be seen in as positive a light as possible. During this meeting, I'd jot down notes for Dr. Skouge, and one note read, "Remember, we need to maintain our integrity!" when it appeared Jim was about to embark on a tangent that was of another universal plane. I think his actions were great in retrospect, as it probably made the rest of the group loosen up to some degree and see that, yes, this must be fun!

After the conference, Jim and I took a moment to discuss what had transpired. It's good to always have a moment of debriefing.

Once we had finished exchanging thoughts and feelings, Jim suggested that I proceed with making the CD's of media that needed to go out for his 445 course. He wanted me to learn about the concept of making disc images, and showed me how to create them and then transfer them to CD. I proceeded to tackle this task, knowing that the CD's had to be mailed ASAP since students are across the state of Hawaii. I completed, what I thought were, original CD's that were ready to be burned.

Before I completed the originals, I messaged my mom using Yahoo Messenger that I needed Advil. She replied, "I'll come by with the Advil!" Jim mentioned that he was headed out to get some food, as he was hungry, so I asked if he'd pick-up something for me since I knew I'd need to fill my stomach with substance to avoid having the Advil cause me irritation. Now, an important fact to set-up this story is that I've NEVER asked for food or have eaten anything offered to me at Jim's office. I usually block out my hunger and focus on my assignment for the day. So, the fact that I asked for food concerned Jim, as he then knew even more that I was NOT feeling good at all. By chance, my mom came by just as he was leaving so he saw that I had food; he wouldn't need to worry about getting anything. I decided to request Advil in a liquid-gel form since I thought it might work faster. Normally I'm able to take up to 4 Advils (of the regular tab variety, when my headaches are severe, and not feel any ill-effects), so I figured I'd take 3 of these gel pills. I finished my food (a hamburger and fries) and resumed my work.

Once Jim returned, I went to the CRC (the Education department's library and technology resource center) to make mass duplicates of our CD's. I brought a new spindle of CD's with me, and began to burn copies. After the completing the second set of CD's (each disc required 7 copies), I thought I'd test out some of these copies just to make sure they work. That was smart. I realized that the original source CD that I made was not created properly. I immediately halted any further duplicating and went back to the office. I informed Jim that I had goofed, and asked for help as to how to create the original disc properly. Admitting that you don't know how to do something is extremely key in any learning opportunity. Instead of chastising me for wasting a bunch of CD's, Jim said, "Don't worry, we're learning here!" I really needed to hear that, for I felt bad for wasting so many CD's and just messing up so much.

Without dragging the story out further, the positive in all of this comedy of errors is that I got the job done! I successfully created the sets, organized each set into separate bags, and had them ready to go out the next day with Effie's help. I also created sets of CD's that would go out to each project site for Dr. Leake's grant. One CD has the documentary that a classmate had produced with assistance from the College of Tropical Agriculture and Human Resources (CTAHR); Mark Yap and Doug Hamasaki were the producers. The other CD contained the piece that Dr. Skouge had produced just last year where he interviewed me one day at the KOKUA office.

So, it would be a fair statement that my Thursday was not a great day at all. And as my title for this entry states, mama said there'd be days like this, my mama said...but she also said that I had to overcome them, regardless of how bad they might be. I came home and crashed for a good 3 hours. That helped a lot.

Would that be the end of my woes for the week? Not at all! On Friday, I stayed home and rested, enjoying the company of my sisters. A much needed day of rest. My grandparents would fly in from the Big Island (Hawaii) later in the afternoon for a visit. It was nice to have them come.

On Saturday, my bowling league resumed after about a month's break. I was eager to get back to bowling. I take my bowling very seriously and expect to do my very best each time I bowl. My average hovers around 145, I think that could improve a bit. My idea of a decent bowling average is 150+. I bowled absolutely horribly...one of the very worst bowling performances I've ever had...it eats at me inside when I do terribly.

I quickly had to squash any frustration lingering in my being as I was headed to Jim's office to "interview" my sisters for our project. Jim had other ideas, however, and viewed it as an opportunity to "talk story" and aim for another date on which interviews would be conducted. This turned out to be a wise, wise decision..I have much confidence and trust in what Jim says and does. Our "talk story" session was 2 hours of great discussion amongst my sisters, mom, Jim, and I. More concrete plans/ideas will evolve from this meeting as Jim and I engage in dialogue this week.

A few random pictures for your enjoyment (and mine as well!):

Look at what movie I actually
went (paid!) to see!

Jim in his mode of controlled chaos as he teaches his
SPED 445 course!

2004-08-04T23:57:00.000-10:00

Fun with a Migraine Headache

Today my sister, Lynn, arrived back from Oregon for a short visit before the Fall semester begins. Here are a couple pictures to celebrate the occasion (or is it to loathe it?):

Happy to be home...how long will this last?!

"Oh joy, my sisters invade my room no sooner they arrive home!"

Today I endured a migraine headache all day. Migraine headaches are possibly the worst things someone can experience; they totally render you useless! However, I knew I was going into work today...I had a task to complete...Dr. Skouge had CD's that needed to be duplicated for his course, so students would receive them before the next conference call. So, I took 4 Advils and off to work I went. That was fine, I felt decent enough to be out.

Life won't always go as planned. There are some people who are constantly busy and have a billion things going on in their lives; I admire and respect that! Jim is such a person. So, in the end, the CD's weren't ready to be duplicated, but I worked as best I could on other tasks.

I knew I was leaving early for the day, as my sister arrived home around mid-day, and my mom was driving everyone (the family) home. And I didn't want her to make another trip back for me, so I decided to leave when they were heading home. I was happy to see my sister, Lynn.

Before Jim and I said our byes for the day, we did have a good discussion. We talked about ideas for the Fall. Maybe I'm feeling the effects of my migraine, but admittedly I'm feeling some anxiety and stress over what is to unfold in a few weeks. I KNOW being a Graduate Assistant will entail lots of work...however, being that this will be my first attempt at balancing a full-time gig (at least by student-employment standards), I'd be lying if I said I wasn't concerned about my abilities to satisfactorily perform my duties as both a GA and a student.

My #1 priorities are my academics and family. I take extreme pride in doing the very best I can on my school work (papers, exams, presentations, etc.). I either go all out and commit myself fully or I don't commit at all. I don't do anything (or try not to) half-assed; I know some people can get by with putting forth less than a full effort. I'm NOT that person.

With that said, Jim has commented, "Don't worry, I won't allow this (the GA'ship) to kill you." I appreciate those words and I truly believe his sincerity. Along those same lines, I'm hoping to reciprocate those feelings by maybe reminding Jim not to overextend himself to the point that it starts affecting his health. We ALL know that being healthy is so very vital; if we're not 100% health-wise, we can't do all the good that we strive for! I do care, thus I am writing this...

Apologies in advance for the erratic nature of this entry. Writing is somewhere that I can find some peace, in an odd sense by expressing my feelings, I feel calmed. My headache is reminding me that I need to get my sleep...

2004-07-31T23:16:00.000-10:00

"Surround Yourself with People Smarter than You"

Another very busy, productive, and fun week has passed. The summer is quickly coming to a close...funny how time DOES fly right by when you're having fun! In about a month, it'll be back to the grind of graduate school...yippee? We shall see. I know I'll have wonderful professors, as I took courses from them last semester.

One thing does concern me, however. Our department chair, who also actively taught classes (and was my advisor, too!) left this position last month to pursue a new journey on the mainland. I do understand that people need to do what's right for THEM, I respect that. In lieu of this, a sort of quandary has risen within the department. We literally have just ONE faculty member who is experienced in Vocational Rehabilitation counseling; all others are either focused on school or community-based counseling. A bit of an unbalanced situation exists. Thus, this one professor appears to be set to cover for the departed faculty member. A very daunting task indeed! In order to accomplish this, scheduling issues have become reality! How can one person teach X number of classes? By extending day, by this I mean staying later than usual to accomplish teaching X number of classes. What does this mean to me? I've happen to lucked out and have a class that would have been taught by the departed individual (I say this with as much sarcasm as I can muster up!). So, I'm excited that someone else has taken over the responsibilities of teaching the course, but! Guess what time it'll be? From a manageable time of 4:30 pm to 7:00 pm, the course will now be held at the ungodly time of 7:05 to 9:35 pm...NIGHT time, people's bed time, time to enjoy re-runs of Friends time, time to unwind from a long day, I could go on and on, but you get the picture! And here I thought 4:30 to 7 pm classes were pushing my limits, this takes it to a whole new level. But, like everything else I've had to experience thus far in life, I'll learn to deal with it and make the most out of it (with exception to Trigonometry, of course....failing to pass that twice...boy, that DOES say something about my mathematical competencies!)!

On that lovely math note, a funny thing happened this week. In a conversation with my boss, Dr. Skouge (Jim), he asked me how many pages were in the book that I had compiled for him. I proudly answered 51, as I had meticulously added up all of the pages in the separate books that were to make up this one book. No sooner after ending that conversation, I realized that I left out an entire book from the tally! So, later in the afternoon, he confirms the pages, "There's about 50 pages total, correct?" "No, I made a mistake in counting and there are really about a hundred pages," I replied. "How could the number change so much?!!" "Math isn't a strong point of mine!" And I keep establishing that point very well, even as I grow!

"Observation w/ a thought from the peanut gallery" of the week:
Monday, "Bob" (real name edited to protect the integrity of this person, and to protect myself!) comes in, and mind you I hadn't seen him in at least a week, and reports "I got mixed up and forgot my wife's birthday is THIS week instead of next..." Now, please know I have much respect for "Bob," but....usually a wife's birthday would become planted in the forefront of one's brain, upon getting married! Maybe I'm wrong...I still have much, much to learn and discover as my life evolves.

I completed even more transferring of video from external hard drives and onto mini DV tape. I think I've filled about 20 thus far, which equates to roughly 20 hours of footage, provided that my math skills aren't totally askew! Jim produced a bunch of media for a distance learning course he's in the midst of teaching now, and our aim is to move all of this edited video off of these drives so we can use the space again for other projects. Out of the 50+ pieces, I think there's only a handful left to be completed. And it's always a good thing to know that you and your boss are on the same page....case and point, on Monday Jim and I exchanged pleasantries and proceeded to engage in discussion about what had transpired the week prior (while he was away) and what would be going on this week, along with other thoughts that we wanted to share. So, Jim declares, "I want to have a system where I can easily find shows...something that will allow me to say 'hey, where's the episode featuring Sterling?" and you'd be able to pull it up easily." To that, I happily handed him a detailed log containing the tape number and everything on the tapes, some including specific time coding information. So, slowly but surely I'm beginning to be smarter in how I do things. I like to have things in an orderly fashion, so maintaining this log seemed like the right thing to do.

On Monday, I learned that I'd be on my own for the better part of the week; I'm getting more and more comfortable with this...of course, I'd much prefer company and a guiding presence around me, but I enjoy being as independent as I can be. This summer, I've broadened my horizons and views as to what I can accomplish on my own; I KNOW this will have a positive impact on my life from here on out.

Jim alerted me that he probably would be heading back to the Big Island (Hawaii) on Friday, to visit the children of Miloli'i, as their summer fun program would be concluding. I showed him the work I had done with the photographs, meticulously converting each one to black and white and adjusting the brightness/contrast so that each one looked as best they could. I was happy to demonstrate that, yes, I could finish tasks (no matter how large, or small) on a timely basis. In any case, he was pleased with the work I had completed and expressed his appreciation for my taking the time to do all this...then he proceeds to say the words, "Hey, you know, I have an idea..." When those words are uttered, that usually means someone has come up with yet another task for you to tackle. I was all ears. He, hesitantly (I think), asked if I'd consider converting even more pictures to black and white! The 3 magic words that got me completely on board were not "do it now!", but rather I want to bring books "for the kids." Here is an excerpt from an e-mail correspondence I had with him this week, which will provide a better insight as to my thoughts as they relate to this:

"I had a very productive day at home. I attacked those pictures like there was no tomorrow! In a weird sense, I feel a sort of connection with these children, even though they have no idea I exist, and I know nothing more of them than faces in pictures and video. Anyway, I was motivated to do FOR them, so I'm very happy to share that I finished the entire album of "Kids on Cams" in black and white!!! I even put the book together and converted it to PDF file."

So, when it was all said and done, by Thursday afternoon, a book of 101 pages was being printed up; each child would receive one as a gift from Jim. Hopefully they'll enjoy it and have it to share with their families as to what they did during the summer of 2004.

On that note, I must mention the secretary of the Special Education department, Effie. Effie was extremely helpful all week long, no matter what my request she was more than willing to help out...from making sure time sheets were in on time, to providing me with paper for our printers, and finally actually printing up the book for Jim, she did a lot. We thank you for your help!

One day, one of Jim's colleagues, Dr. Rhonda Black came in to say hello and requested the address for my blogging site. I was happy that 1) She knew of it; and 2) She actually wanted to take time to check it out! So, I happily jotted down the address and provided it to her.

I do hope that people are reading or will be reading my entries in this blog. In another conversation, Jim had mentioned something to the effect that "it's nice to know there's someone on the other end enjoying what one writes." This is so very true. For one, I do take the time to thoughtfully construct what I write for the week, and I do try and make it as interesting as possible! I'm one who appreciates the fact that time is so precious, and why waste time reading something that is boring or has no value/meaning to you?! So, I make a conscious effort to compose these entries in a way that is entertaining, interesting, but yet conveys some sort of message. Everyone will interpret the message in their own way, but my hope is that you DO end reading this with some thought or idea that you might not have had prior or at the very least, a smile comes across your face.

And, I'm still awaiting my first batch of comments!!! I'm one who enjoys feedback. And, I'm more than willing to correspond with any of you out there reading this...if you e-mail me, I WILL respond.

Before I end for the week, I must address my title of this entry! On Thursday afternoon, while Jim was in a mode of controlled chaos, I tried being as helpful as I could, and to that he uttered the idea that his dad instilled in him, which was to "surround yourself with people smarter than you." Idea being, too often people are too ego-driven to admit that yes, in fact they don't know everything nor can they do everything...I can see how this holds true, and it does make a whole lot of sense. I'm don't posses natural smarts, I certainly won't win any awards on the merit of my mental abilities...I KNOW that. I need to put in significant time and energy to produce intelligent work. When I look at friends I have, good friends and acquaintances alike, I see that, yes indeed, I have surrounded myself with people who are way, way smarter than me (in a natural sense) and those who will impact society at a much deeper level than I could ever imagine. Indulge me, if you will, as I briefly attempt to illustrate this: Taron, a law student at one of the most prestigious Law Schools in the country, Georgetown; Aaron, a medical student at one of the most prestigious Medical Schools in the country, Mayo Clinic; Rachel, an intern/researcher at a hospital in Boston, Leilani; a double masters student in Human Services and communications, who does more things in 24 hours than I could do in a week; Adam, a future medical school student - ALL of these individuals are awesome and the common bond we share is that we were all once members in the Hui Po'okela Chapter of Mortar Board at the University of Hawaii at Manoa (an honor society at the University, promoting the ideals of leadersship, service, and scholarship). Of course, I didn't name every single member whom I met and served with, but the picture is clear...they are ALL smarter than I'll ever dream of being. My sisters...oh they'll sure love reading this, I'll write it anyway...they're doing extraordinary in their academic studies at their colleges, one in Oregon and the other in Spokane, Washington...Lynn carries an absurdly high GPA and looks to complete her undergraduate work this December, which means she'll have finished in 3 1/2 years!!!! Lori's constantly making the Dean's List and doing excellent work at school. My friends from back in the day....Dan's doing great things in New York at a major sports enterprise, constantly doing great things for them (and on the brink of taking his personal life to the next level, congrats on that, buddy!!); Brent's a cop in Chicago, he completed his graduate studies in a year; and Ed, who is a graphic designer for the USPS in Oklahoma. Other friends or people who have supported me are just as smart as the next person, too numerous to list here (VERY briefly...Doug, who has so many life experiences and fisherman stories that he so generously shares with me; Ann, the guru of disability services; Dr. James Little, a great advocate for persons with disabilities; David, who knows more about restaurant management than I'll ever know; Aletha, someone with a rich knowledge of Autism and the passion to do all she can to provide the best services to students with autism; Jim, the boss (what more could be said!); Sterling, who knows more about serving persons with disabilities so they may access computers more effectively, etc etc. Oh! and of course my parents...what more could I say?! What happened to the notion of my inheriting their genes?!

In any case, the question becomes, what does all this mean?? Simply put, I'm, perhaps, THE luckiest individual to have established a connection of sorts with ALL of these people, and many more! So, when it's all said and done, the only way I can view myself as "smart" was in the way I associated myself with others. You never fully understand how good you have it until you take the time to actually "smell the roses." At this stage of my life, the roses are smelling quite nice, and they're on the verge of blooming, if only I'm willing to keep watering them and caring for the ground in which they reside. One common thread amongst all of the individuals mentioned above: Hard work. I know that in order for me to do the little good I'm hoping to achieve, I'll need to work just as hard as the next person, if not harder. Am I willing? Yes!

Random photograph of the week:

Brian wearing a LiveSTRONG rubberband in
support of Lance Armstrong's fight against cancer.

Welcome home, Lori! And yet, to think 21+ years ago, when my dad said, "You have twin sisters!" I literally said something to the effect of, "Nooo, it can't be! I want brothers!!!" The feeling still lingers in the deep, deep realms of my brain....only kidding, really I am! See a picture below of the welcoming:

See how happy I really look?!

Earlier in the day (Saturday) I got a haircut:

"Anything will be an improvement!"

2004-07-25T17:38:00.000-10:00

Week 1 of My 28th Year of Life

Being one's own boss....that's a very empowering feeling and one that carries inherent responsibilities. I had my second go at this experience, as my boss, Dr. Skouge, took a trip home to celebrate his mother's birthday. I knew what I had to get done and I had my mind set on getting everything done. When I set my mind on a goal, I develop a form of tunnel vision to some degree. This is both good and bad. I'll hopefully get to expound on this characteristic as my blogging continues.

My tasks for the week were clear cut: 1) Move video footage off of our external drives and onto mini DV tapes; 2) Convert and edit pictures taken during a Miloli'i (a small village on the Big Island of Hawaii) summer fun camp.

Although I had just celebrated my birthday on Sunday and could have easily rested at home on Monday, I decided to go into work. Here's a picture of the cake I had (guava chiffon, an unusual request on my part!):

Believe it or not, I did eat!

For me, I'm better able to find my sense of purpose by being out and actively doing, rather than doing nothing at home. Not to say I don't enjoy the occasional periods of "vegging out," otherwise known as doing nothing more than basking in the comforts of one's surroundings. I find that I get restless if I don't have anything to occupy my mind and time with; in a sense, I NEED mental stimulation. Thus, this summer has been such a treat! I've been busy, kept busy, for much of my days.

Anyway, Monday morning I get into the office and find 8 blank tapes...I wasn't exactly sure how much of them I'd actually fill. I quickly figured out that each tape holds 63 minutes of footage, nothing more! To start, it helps to actually know how to do what you're supposed to do....I know I was told, shown, and did transfer to mini DV from iMovie before, but it hasn't become a regular task so I was a bit unsure at first. But I quickly remembered; it's funny how the mind can become cued by littlest things. My cue was the word "Export;" I essentially broke my task down into fundamentals...what was I trying to do? Move or transfer something out of one place and into another, thus exporting or sharing! I found the option called 'Share' on the menu bar of iMovie. It worked, I had found success...a great feeling, indeed! I would soon come to the realization that this particular task would involve considerable "down time," in the sense that you have to wait for the footage to transfer and it processes in real-time. If you are moving a 45-minute piece, it will take 45-minutes to do so.

Multi-tasking - One of society's most valued concepts today....it's about making the most out of one's time and energy, not just focusing on ONE task at a time, but rather looking to work on a multitude of tasks at once. Some people excel at this and are unbelievably efficient, others aren't. That's just how it is. I'm one who is comfortable with some multi-tasking, but I am not one who lives to do a 100 tasks at once....it becomes hard for me to put forth my best effort in such circumstances, I'm more of a "looking at maybe one or two (possibly 3) tasks at any given time and giving 100% to those tasks" type of person. I find that if I extend myself beyond that, the quality of my efforts become lessened...I pride myself on quality work. In any case, I wanted to maximize my work efficiency, so I worked on editing photos on a laptop. While editing, I noticed that my ability to be aware of my surroundings was decreased by the fact that my back would be facing the door, because of the way I had set up my laptop "workstation." Creativity often stems from one's desire to solve minor problems or improve upon situations. I looked around the room, saw our lovely iSight cameras, and a light bulb went on in my head...I could use these cameras to serve as a surveillance or look-out tool!

So, there I was, setting up these cameras, one on a computer towards the inside of the room, and one on another laptop that was nearby to me (one that was in my line of sight, even while working on editing), really having no clear plan of what the heck I was doing. I suppose when you have no plan in mind, you can't really fail and the fun of creative solutions is found in the process itself. I positioned both cameras towards the door and opened up iChat, and made the computers, upon which these cameras were mounted, "talk" to each other. Essentially this gave me a full-screen video of the door, and a smaller image of the doorway/hallway. I sat there and watched....wow, this is cool!...I can keep an eye on the door with my back towards it. This was literally like having eyes on the back of your head.

So, I proceeded to edit photos, all the while keeping an eye on the door. When the video finished transferring, I would change gears and cue up another video piece to move. I had a nifty system in place.

Later in the afternoon, a co-worker of mine, Rosie came in and that was a welcomed presence. She worked on making duplicate copies of a DVD for a show we produced, and that process also involves significant time. So, during one of our shared times of waiting, I asked Rosie if there was anything I could do to help her out the next time I came in. She mentioned making more copies of our DVD's...I was more than willing to do so.

By the time my work day ended on Monday, I filled 5 of the 6 tapes that I was left with. Progress was definitely being made, and at a faster rate than I had expected! Prior to leaving for the day, Jim called to check-in on our activities, and he mentioned the fact that he would be checking e-mail on a regular basis while away...in fact, he mentioned this twice. Usually, when people mention something more than once, it's a hint that they want some sort of action taken. So, I came home that night, and e-mailed Jim a sort of daily task update, just so he could be aware of what was going on. I found this sort of writing to be almost relaxing and calming to some degree, as it was much like the writing I'm doing now....no organized form, just writing whatever comes to mind at a given time, and not worrying about grammar (well, okay, maybe giving that just a little thought!).

On Tuesday, I stayed home, let my body rest and recover from a full day of being out and active. My body is in constant motion, due to the involuntary movements brought on by my Cerebral Palsy. So, a full day of being out, does take a toll as I feel a bit more fatigued than when I am just relaxing at home and don't need to concentrate my energies on making precise movements in order to perform tasks. Not to say that when I am home, my body acts differently...I guess it's more a matter of not having to focus on being at my peak performance level, and just letting my body do and work at it's leisure.

I worked on editing photos from home for a few hours, making more of a dent in the amount of photos that needed to be completed.

On Wednesday, I went into the office...ready for another day of doing as much as I could. I set up my little surveillance system, started up my transferring of footage to tape, began duplicating a DVD, and started more photo editing. Later that morning, a student who was in a class taught by Jim's colleague, Cecily, came in to say hello.

Having "strangers" come in to interact with you is really interesting! Soon, you shed the stranger label and begin to view them as friendly beings! This occurred twice during the week, and both times the visits resulted in conversations. These individuals weren't afraid or hesitant to ASK questions of me, as they related to goals and life perspectives. I love it when people ask me questions...too often, society is quick to use their own perceptions and judgements of others and hold those beliefs as truths, instead of taking the time to find out what's really going on...this is a natural response, living in such a fast-paced society. There simply isn't enough time to interact and get down to the truth of things and people. I respect and understand this. However, it IS very refreshing and great to know that there are people who will make the time, and take the time, to get to know how someone really is. Being in an office which people pass day in and day out, brings some familiarity to people, which probably leads to a heightened comfort level or curiosity to reach out and explore/investigate.

I'll be brief in my detailing of my workdays from here on out (at least for this entry!), with the thought that I don't want to bore people with minute details, that probably only I, myself, find interesting!

On Tuesday afternoon, one of my friends, who happens to have played for the UH football team, called me to invite me to join a bunch of them at Ryan's Grill at Ward Centre. Of course, in order to get there, I had to rely on "Mom's Taxi," so I had to clear it with her before I committed to attending. However, almost always, my mom, being so giving, has said yes to driving me where I need/want to go. It IS a dream of mine to be able to drive; I use "dream" loosely here, being that until I know for sure it is impossible for me to achieve, it can also be viewed as a goal. In any case, I joined my friends at dinner. We had a great time, enjoying each other's company. They celebrated my birthday with me, and treated me to a wonderful meal. We are all on different paths in life....one is preparing for his first season as a professional athlete, one is managing a restaurant here in Hawaii, one is preparing for a career as a policeman, one is preparing for the upcoming season at UH, and one gearing up for his second year in his respective graduate program. With respect to allowing these "public" figures to enjoy a night out like any other person, I did not take pictures to capture the moment; I feel that everyone deserves privacy and the opportunity to have a meal without having the attention of fans. It's really neat to get to know people who we often view on television as "stars" away from that arena, and as everyday human beings...friends! On that note, I am definitely excited about the fast-approaching UH football season. It all starts up on August 9th, with fall camp; this basically entails 2 practices a day, usually 2-hours each. As players often say, THIS is where success begins! I'll share more thoughts on UH football in the coming weeks. But it's safe to say that I look forward to this time of year and experience sheer excitement over the course of a season.

On Wednesday afternoon, Rosie tracked down more mini DV tapes for me to use. I believe there were 6 more tapes made available. On Thursday, I knew that would be the last day I'd go in for the week, so I was determined to get as much done as I could. I put in a full day of work and then some! I managed to fill 13 tapes in all, with the 14th half filled and waiting for my return on Monday.

Mistakes and errors....We ALL experience this aspect of life. I hate making mistakes. However, I feel that mistakes ARE okay to commit, as long as one learns from their errors and makes a conscious effort not to make the same mistake twice! I experienced a lapse in judgment last week, and for a while it ate at me on the inside. But, I received words of reassurance and comfort from Rosie and Jim...I thank them for that. I also believe that when one makes a mistake, one needs to have strong integrity and take full responsibility for their actions. I immediately held myself accountable for my actions and intend for this to be the ONLY time I make the mistake I did. I also will accept whatever consequences that come as a result of my actions. "I have failed...That is why I succeed." This is one of my favorite quotes, made by Michael Jordan, that I use in my daily approach to life.

Lastly, a few random thoughts....Congratulations to Lance Armstrong for winning the Tour de France! What an amazing individual he is. I've been showing my support for him and the cause he stands for (finding a cure for cancer) by wearing a yellow rubberband on my wrist. You can learn more about it at http://wearyeallow.org Definitely a cause worth supporting!

It was great chatting with my friend, Ed, the other day. Ed's been one of my best friends for the past 14+ years. We first met during our freshman year at Kailua High School. Ed now lives in Okalahoma, with his wife, Brandi. They just got a cute white dog, named Krypto! Very cool....

2004-07-18T22:00:00.000-10:00

My Week Leading Up to Becoming a Year Older (and wiser, perhaps?)

There's something very rewarding and fulfilling when you discover things on your own....getting such things to actually work is an added bonus! Sharing such discoveries with others is where you experience the most joy. What fun is it to learn things and have them bottled up in your mind and NOT share things with others?! In life, communicating ( in ANY way) with others is such an important aspect of living! It is how we find support, encouragement, correction, joy, sadness...pretty much the gamut of human emotion and feelings.

Perhaps, the best communicators (and people to communicate with) are teachers/professors. On Monday, when I went into work for Dr. Skouge, I was genuinely eager to show him what I had done over the weekend, after presenting at TFL. I am one who prefers to have a baseline to work from, assuming I have a project/assignment to do, ahead of time, as opposed to waiting until the last minute. Baseline, or models, allow us (or at least me) to, dare I say, procrastinate and maybe (just maybe) wait until the last minute to do things. Essentially if we have a baseline to follow, completing what we need to do should become "mindless" work. Now, mindless can imply not giving thought to something - that is NOT what I mean in this instance. My project entails communicating my life story as it evolves, so obviously I need and WANT to put in significant thought into what I convey. My aim, or should I say our (Dr. Skouge, Dr. Leake, and I) aim, is to present my story in a somewhat interesting, but more importantly accessible mode. Thus, my writing here at a blogging site.

Getting back to my point, I had discovered blogging a while back, dabbled in it a little and that was that - never feeling inspired or had the urge to maintain an online journal for the world (or whoever was interested) to see. But agreeing to participate in a project that Dr. David Leake is coordinating demands that one be willing to share as much as possible, and in ways that are creative, so that the goals of the project are met. I'll save the discussion of the goals of Dr. Leake's project for a later entry. So, blogging...I discovered that I could effectively and efficiently communicate my thoughts on my own and present them in such a way that was easy to follow and access! I also discovered how to enhance my sharing, by including text, audio, and even video!

I shared my work with Dr. Skouge and he, too, was genuinely excited about what I had discovered and worked on! This type of reaction and feedback can only serve to motivate someone to keep working just as hard. It also helps to have an experienced storyteller (or conduit for storytelling) like Jim, as a mentor, as he can provide me with ideas to enhance the ideas I might have come up with. "Audio is a powerful mode of media" - those words lingered in my mind for a while, and I was determined to find a way to be able to figure out how to incorporate audio into my blogging, thus my entry with my conclusion from my presentation Communication Strategies for Persons with Speech Impairments. As I'm typing, my mind is just running through the endless possibilities that lay ahead of me!

Jim and I had a wonderful week working together. I was able to sit in on a very important meeting that could potentially benefit a beautiful community on the Big Island (Hawaii). Sitting in on such meetings are great experiences as I'm able to learn how to act in the most professional way, respecting what the other participants are saying, all the while standing up for what YOU believe in. Sometimes you need to be agreeable, but at other times you need to stand up for what you believe in, throw it out into the open, and not be afraid of how it will be received. Ah, sounds like advice I could use in my own personal dealings with "professionals!"

Work does NOT need to be all serious and boring. This was demonstrated to the nth degree this week, right in Jim's office. Suffice it to say, Jim and I had a blast! We shared so many laughs throughout the week, and that was great! We fiddled around with technology that Jim has discovered (with the help of computer-tech genius, Silas), involving cameras and AOL Instant Messenger. The office now has the ability to hold video conferences with full-screen video that looks just like broadcast TV-quality! Apple makes amazing products! Anyway, we were "testing" this system, and the way Jim had set it up, he'd talk and his voice would travel into the deep spaces of the Internet and output on a laptop that couldn't be more than 3 feet away. This created a fascinating echo effect, since live sound travels faster than sound going through the 'net. I can't really explain it well, since the concept is way beyond that what my feeble mind can process...Bottomline, it is COOL!

On Thursday, July 15, I attended my first meeting as an appointed board member for the Disability and Communication Access Board (DCAB). I was appointed to this position by our Governor, Linda Lingle. It's an honor and privilege I take very seriously. I was nervous going into Thursday since it would be a whole new ballgame to me. I had no expectations or pre-conceived notions of what this board meeting will entail. Jim, in his infinite wisdom, comments to me literally minutes before I am to leave for this meeting, "Just know that sometimes these types of board meetings can be very boring...but don't be afraid to share your thoughts and knowledge with them!" The existing board members were very warm in welcoming me to their group. Everyone on the board brings with them years of experience and wisdom, so I view this as yet another learning opportunity that will only prove to be beneficial to my growth, personally AND professionally.

Kristine, a staff member for DCAB, who's been extremely supportive and instrumental in allowing me to become more active in the disability movement community, especially as it relates to representing persons with speech impairments, provided me with encouraging words after I had relayed some of my initial thoughts after attending the my first Board meeting.

I won't reveal everything that went on during this meeting but I'll relay some of the thoughts that ran through MY mind. First, "How the heck did I get myself here!?!?!" - everyone is established professionally and here comes in this "kid" who is still in school! Second, "Don't say anything that will make me look foolish!" - save that for future meetings, once I have established some credibility, that way the bar of forgiveness won't be set so high! Third, "Don't go against ANY votes" - I did my homework and read through the background information on the issues that were to be voted upon and I really agreed with everything that was proposed, thus this was NOT a big deal.

My Thursday was a long, long day. It began as usual around 5:30 a.m., and I didn't get home until about 8:30 p.m. But even then, I felt compelled to stay up even more - I'm a night owl. I do my better thinking at night. As soon as I got home, I checked my e-mail (a natural reaction for ALL people, right?!) and found out that my friend Aletha had purchased tickets for us to see a comedy show on Friday. Ralphie May, a nationally-known comic, made famous from appearing on NBC's Last Comic Standing and the late night show, Jimmy Kimmel Live, was the headliner. Aletha saw an advertisement at the Blaisdell the week before, while attending TFL, and had asked if I'd be interested in checking that out. I've never attended, nor contemplated attending, any comedy shows, but I agreed to check it out.

I know I mentioned Aletha in a prior entry, but I'll elaborate a bit more. Aletha has opened up my eyes to the"fun" aspect of life. Enjoying my first beverage known as a 'screwdriver,' enjoying a tiny bit of crab (and living to write about it!), appreciating the ambiance on the Roof of Dave & Buster's, etc. - These are all experiences that have resulted in the friendship I've developed, and am developing, with Aletha. She's definitely going to make for a wonderful Dr. Aletha, when she finds that "want-to" sense in finishing up her doctorates degree. It's not a matter of IF, but a matter of WHEN...time is a mute point...as I mentioned to her, sometimes we need to become re-energized, and as soon as we do we can plow our way through just about anything we desire!

Paul Ogata, a local comedian here in Hawaii, opened for Ralphie May and he was funny as heck! What is up with girls dressing in shorter and shorter clothes these days anyway?! A thought to ponder. Aletha made an interesting observation that I'm now realizing is very true - we remember that a certain person is funny, but remembering exactly what they said that made us laugh so hard is almost impossible to do! With that said, and in respect to honoring the work of the comics, I won't even attempt to relay any jokes in full!

Ralphie May is a HUGE guy. But he is funny as funny can be! In my mind, he put on a solid show, going about a full 2-hours non-stop. It was much more than the PG-13 activities I had intended for Aletha to plan. But, what the heck, I will be a year older tomorrow - so why not get exposed to some R-rated material?! Ha ha....I don't think I've heard so much vulgarities uttered since watching South Park: The Motion Picture! The funniest material, at least in my mind, and I hope I don't come off as an insensitive person, was his set about ______. (Subject left blank to protect my integrity and maintain whatever respect I've earned thus far in life!) What he said was so true though, _______ truly are the happiest people on this Earth and people spend big bucks trying to become _______ (i.e. consuming alcohol and mind-altering substances). See picture below:

Aletha, Ralphie May, & Brian

As I reflect on my first 28 years of life, I definitely am proud of what I have accomplished. However, I am more excited and anxious of all of the opportunities that lay ahead of me. Numerous doors of opportunities have been opened, it is MY duty to take it upon myself and take the bull by the horn so to speak and walk through these doors. Or in my case, roll/wheel through them without hesitation! I believe that I haven't made my contribution to society yet, but these 28 years have placed me in a great position to reach my goal. Was Rome built in a day? Of course not! So, whether it takes me X amount of years, or Y amount of years, as long as I have the vision of a goal in the forefront of my mind and do everything in my control to reach that goal, I can't afford to become pre-occupied with the notion of time. Things WILL happen. I WILL make a difference in this world. My goal, which is to help at least one person realize his or her hopes and dreams, coincides with my philosophy of life. If I am able to help someone, I would hope in turn that person will feel motivated to help someone else, and so on and so forth. Ultimately, we can create and maintain this endless continua of help that will thrive and grow long after I am gone. I WILL achieve my goal.

I'd be remiss if I didn't acknowledge and thank ALL the wonderful people (family, friends, teachers, special education resource teachers, professors, therapists, etc. etc.) who have been a part of my life thus far and who have supported me to be the person I am today and the person I am to become in the future. I hope that I can continue to have you in my life for the next 28 years of my life!

2004-07-13T16:02:00.000-10:00

Click here to hear a portion of Brian's conclusion from his Communication Strategies for Persons with Speech Impairments presentation from Tools for Life.

2004-07-11T13:12:00.000-10:00

Brian on the way to present looking a bit nervous!

2004-07-11T01:13:00.000-10:00

Brian feeling relief after the workshop

2004-07-11T00:35:00.000-10:00

Tools For Life day! Woke up a bit nervous, but anxious to do my presentation with my friend Sterling. Ate a little breakfast, and got dressed to look the part of a presenter.

Why do I dress up? Well, I feel that if one takes pride in looking presentable, the audience will hopefully appreciate the effort that went into it and will know that you, the presenter, are serious about the presentation. I enjoy "dressing up" - how often do you get an opportunity to wear a tie in Hawaii?! So I took full advantage of it.

Arrive at TFL, Sterling, "Gee, are you trying to upstage me?!" No, not at all...I realize that YOU, Sterling, are the established one in the community and I'm striving to get to where you are at! So, in no way was I attempting to upstage anyone.

Presentation went great! Sterling did a fantastic job sharing his knowledge on the causes of speech impairments and what strategies are available. Then it was my turn....In life, you NEED people who support and believe in your abilities, even when you might not. I am so very fortunate to have this in Sterling. In the two opportunities I've presented with him, he has taken it upon himself to make sure I "shine" as best I can. I am forever grateful for this. Other people who make me "shine" so very brightly, of course, include my parents.

I felt proud being able to present today. I put in a lot of effort into making my presentation be the best that I could make it. Did it go off without a hitch? No! Did I overcome the minor glitches, most definitely. It's called keeping cool while in the middle of a fire storm. For a moment, I thought I might have made a mistake in my recording the second MP3 file. It turned out to be a unexpected pause, that somehow happened. Luckily I was able to simply unpause it and continue on. A simple shrug on my part summed it up well!

After my presentation, I went to watch and support my mentor's presentation (Dr. Jim Skouge). He always, always gives awesome presentations that are so very informative and thought-provoking. Shame on the schedulers for giving him the last slot of the event, but hey, this lends credence to the saying "saving the best for last!" Sometimes in life, you wonder why certain people enter your world, but I've figured out Jim entered to take me under his wing and teach me to take my abilities to a higher level. As I mentioned to Jim the other day, I am grateful each day that I am able to spend with him, and am even more thankful that he HAS entered my life. He says he gains a lot from me, but I gain a whole lot more from him. His passion for his career is something to behold; some might view it as being too involved in one's job. Hogwash! If everyone had the same passion as Jim has, the world would be such a better place.

Once TFL concluded, my friend, Aletha and I decided to go have some fun together. We made a joint decision (don't argue, just go with it Aletha!) to eat at the Dixie Grill. During our time together, I made a comment that I've begun to try and model my work ethic after Jim's. I truly mean this. My night out with Aletha was just awesome! Her company is so much fun, and we actually can co-exist well, which is a bonus! We both enjoyed some beverages, and the fun that comes along with that! But, throughout it all, we both maintained our wits and had great conversation. I ordered ribs, and a breakthrough of sorts happened! I communicated MYSELF that I'd like my ribs taken off the bone to our waiter, who was very receptive and said, "sure thing!" I think this was the FIRST time I used my talker in a public place to communicate with a complete stranger, and it went fine!

During dinner, Aletha and I talked about a whole range of topics! Very good conversation and I'll leave it at that. Sometimes people have an ability to make you feel comfortable and at ease...Aletha is such a person. Larry's a lucky person...nuff said.

After Dixie Grill, we walked on over to Ward Theater Complex. Unforunately, Anchorman was filled, and I made a quick judgment call (Aletha, you gotta give me props for being decisive!!) to forgo the movie and just hang out at Dave & Busters. D&B's Roof area was supposedly closed to the general public, but what fun would life be if you always listened to rules?! So, up we went to the roof level....Aletha hesitantly behind me. Did we get busted? NO! In fact, we enjoyed almost a full 2 hours of simply sitting down and enjoying each other's company. Who needs a movie when you can see a marriage reception going on, with a bunch of happy guys and girls frolicking in the darkened corner of the rooftop?! And there we were, taking all of this in visually...thinking, "why would anyone choose D&B's for a reception!?!" Ah, to each their own.

Feeling a bit drained, and sensing Aletha was ready to call it a night, we headed on out. Caught "Mom's Taxi" and dropped Aletha off at the parking lot...hopefully she wasn't locked in! If she was, I give her my full permission to beat me up!

Thanks Aletha, for a wonderful night out. Thanks Sterling for a great presentation experience. Thanks Jim for being a guiding presence in my life. Thanks Bruce, of Dynavox Systems, for providing me with the power of verbal communication - should I CHOOSE to use it, and believe me I am! Thanks Mom and Dad for just doing what you do, day in and day out!

Sleep awaits me now!

2004-04-17T23:55:00.000-10:00

Boston/Yankees, what could be better than that in April?! Well, UH Football spring practice comes close!

Thus far, we've seen BoSox get lucky and win a couple. But the season's young and there's still a ways to go. A-Rod's trying too hard, Jeter's working out early season kinks, and hey All-Star teams need time to gel!

Helping others brings on such a great feeling, its such that you'll never know how it truly feels unless you, yourself, experiences it!

2004-02-15T21:44:00.000-10:00

Another Valentine's Day has come and gone. Did it have any life changing implications? Probably not.

However, Valentine's doesn't have to be about all that mushy, gooey, romatic, lovey dovey stuff. Valentine's can and should be about acknowledging the friendships we have with others.

Platonic love...This love I speak of is, and will always be, greater than any romantic love one will have. Friendships last a lifetime and more, in ways that we probably often take for granted.

Going out to dinner, sharing a few laughs, enjoying a movie together....these are examples of shared experiences that make friendships so great.

On that note, 50 First Dates...kind of ironic to see it on Valentine's, being that I've never had a date date. Movie is a cute little story that allows you to experience a wide spectrum of feelings. Ultimately, it makes the viewer think about how they can demonstrate true feelings of caring for someone, without it getting stale or boring. Bottomline, relationships take work! Relationships just don't grow if they aren't nutured and cared for everyday.

2004-02-02T12:43:00.000-10:00

Another Super Bowl has come and gone, leaving us to have conversation pieces for Monday.

The greatest words uttered in a commercial: "If your erection lasts more than 4 hours, seek medical treatment." Wow!

Best commericial for entertainment purposes: The horse who passed gass and fried the poor blond girl.
2nd place: The donkey who dreamed of being a clydesdale.

All this hoo-ha over a boobie showing?! It seems a bit much, and if you watched it live, you saw NOTHING! All of this happened in a span of 3 seconds, so unless you knew it was coming you wouldn't have paid close enough attention! Stop the debating over intentional/accident...of course it was intentional! Janet made no moves of being mad at Justin, nor was she overly embarassed!

Until next year....

2004-01-31T23:50:00.000-10:00

Quiet day spent at home. Should've, could've studied but I didn't. Funny how we constantly deal with should've, could've, would've. The power of the mind, to ponder our pasts.

Super Bowl Sunday is almost upon us. How much boring a match-up could we have ended up with?! Patriots and Panthers?! Eeek... But as usual, a new sports hero of the day will be created. 21-10 Panthers if you care.

Happy Sunday and enjoy the million dollar commercials!