Randomness for the week:


A cloud formation above Aloha Stadium prior to the UH vs.
San Jose St. game


The calm before battle

Welcome home, Brent! It's great to have you back in town after quite a while. My friend, Brent, and I go back about 14 years. He's been a great source of support, wisdom, and fun. He's now a police officer in a large, windy city.

Go Warriors! Tough task awaits the UH Warrior football team as they take on Boise St. on a Friday night ESPN2 featured game (2pm HST, 8pm EST). Frigid conditions will be the atmosphere in which the team will need to pull together in order to bring home a win. Timmy Chang, Hawaii's QB, will undoubtedly break Ty Detmer's NCAA record for all-time passing yards - all that's left is 241 yards, which should come just before halftime or in the early third quarter. A great feat, indeed, but even more history could be made if the Warriors can defeat the Broncos of Boise St.

Don't forget to exercise your right (and responsibility) to vote on November 2!!!

Until next week.....

Self-Created Stress

Stress is an odd state of mind to comprehend. Stress is often caused by external factors, such as deadlines, responsibilities, and hectic schedules that we may carry. However, I will propose that there is a self-induced type of stress, one that our mind begins to create due to a myriad of reasons that may be true or not.

This past Saturday, the University's Mortar Board National Honor Society was in charge of helping at the Ft. Shafter Wheelchair Bowling League. I've talked about bowling in previous entries so I'll spare (no pun intended!) you the details of the league. I'm a student advisor for this club and as part of this, I've been the liaison between Mortar Board and the league; members would work with me in organizing their help for the month, as opposed to working with the people in charge of the league. I see the organizers on a weekly basis, so if there is any pertinent information to share (i.e. cancellations) I act as the messenger between the two sides. I'm proud to say that in the 4 or 5 years that Mortar Board has been involved with the league, they have never had to inform the league that they would not be able to help for their particular week. Have there been close calls? Certainly. Have there been extremely close calls? Yes!

Such an extremely close call occurred last week. I do think the current membership of Mortar Board is a great bunch of individuals as a whole. However, it appears that there might be a distinct difference in the level of interest and commitment that each member has; people are either very enthusiastic and willing to uphold the ideals of Mortar Board (Scholarship, Leadership, and Service), while others are there just there for the ride. I suppose this will be the case in ANY organized group, but for the most part in the past 4 or 5 years of my involvement with Mortar Board there haven't been many who were just along for the ride. As a student advisor, I feel that part of my responsibility is to get everyone to be enthusiastic about being a part of a club with a strong tradition rooted in hard work and going beyond what is required. I suppose in that regard, I am failing as a student advisor.

The recruitment for Saturday's volunteers did not begin until Tuesday. I'm not exactly sure why this was the case; I held the belief that a chair for the project, the person who would spearhead the efforts to have enough volunteers, had been established at the last monthly meeting that was in early October. We all have busy lives, demands of school and work....I respect that. However, if you commit to doing something, it's important that you keep to your word! I began recruiting volunteers from outside of the current membership from the week before, calling upon Mortar Board alumni to help out. Alumni members are wonderful people who probably lead even busier lives themselves! I also extended my recruitment of volunteers to my circle of friends.

Jumping ahead a couple days, I had a meeting for the Disability and Communication Access Board's (DCAB) Communication Access Committee on Thursday. I had to quickly recover from my long and exhausting Wednesday to have the energy to be at my best for this meeting. The meeting went well; I'm slowly becoming more comfortable as a board member. After the meeting, I went back to campus and put in my hours at Dr. Skouge's (Jim) office. Jim had proposed taking me along to a field trip with his class that evening, and I felt up to it. There were other activities going on that night, such as the 10th Anniversary celebration of the Stan Sheriff Center during the Wahine volleyball match. On Wednesday, one of my good friends called and asked me to come and eat at his restaurant where he's a General Manager. He had been asking me to stop by for a while now, and my schedule has been such that I simply haven't had time to fit in anything of this sort. So there were lots of possibilities for fun to be had on Thursday night. My parents were open to doing any or none of the above; they're quite flexible in this sense.

My tagging along to the field trip with Jim's class was semi-dependent on another friend of ours, Sterling. Jim came up with the idea that he would drive Sterling in his van, and then pick me up from campus and then we'd all head down to the field trip site. The field trip was to visit an assistive technology project that is headed by personnel from Stanford University (I believe); we met the people before, as they visited Jim's office this summer and they're superbly brilliant people. Long story short, I saw Sterling at the DCAB meeting, as he's also a board member and asked him if he was on for later that evening. He said, "sure!" but expressed some question about the logistics of it all, as he wouldn't be available until a later time than Jim needed to be at the site. So, up until the time of the trip, I wasn't sure if I was going or not. Ultimately, I did make it to the field trip, and I was happy I was able to go. It was nice seeing Jim's students again and it was a good opportunity to finally make it down to see the location of this assistive technology project. My parents remained in town, waiting for me; the plan was to swing by my friend's restaurant after the field trip and then head on home. Unfortunately, time had flown by and it was later than planned by the time I was ready to leave the project site.

As soon as I arrived at home, I checked my e-mail and found that we had only 2 volunteers lined up for Saturday! I immediately decide to take on a more proactive role in recruiting volunteers, so I began to call friends. I spent a good hour on the phone, leaving my dinner to be eaten after I had finished...this was a matter requiring immediate attention! After my hour on the phone, I secured ONE additional volunteer. I was disheartened, but yet excited that I was able to secure one more volunteer. One of my classmates was more than happy to come and help out on Saturday.

I called quite a number of people, and it's interesting how quickly you can lose touch with friends without realizing it! One of my friends, who I was lucky enough to meet during my year as an active Mortar Board member, had been almost impossible to reach by phone; but on this night I actually reached her! After exchanging pleasantries, she informs me that she had moved back to the Big Island of Hawaii. I was very surprised to learn of this, and don't really know all the details yet, but she assured me that she's doing well and would be visiting Oahu in December for the last football game of the year. I definitely look forward to visiting with her at that time!

So, here we were...Thursday night, 10pm, and we had 3 volunteers for Saturday. At the least, 6 bodies are needed in order to have the league run as smoothly as possible. I felt stressed to say the least, but tried to stay positive, telling myself, "there's one more day to find people!"

Friday rolls around and I received a voice message from the project chair, informing me that we now have 4 bodies from Mortar Board, thus raising the grand total to 5! Later in the afternoon, I was able to make contact with my co-worker from Jim's office, Steven, who was more than happy to help us out on Saturday.

So, in the end everything worked out just fine. The bowling league went off without a hitch. THIS would be an illustration of self-induced stress! I'm sure things would have worked out had I not scrambled for help on my end. But, I think it's better to over prepare than be caught coming up short.

I woke up Saturday morning with signs of a migraine. NOT fun at all. And I know full well that this was all related to the stress that I caused myself. But, I took some Advil and headed off to bowl. I had a less than stellar performance bowling-wise, but I think I was just relieved that we were bowling, PERIOD! My poor classmate arrived towards the end of the project, as she had a wild and crazy morning herself! She had a fender-bender, before dropping off her little brother at a birthday party. I found it amusing that during all of this, her brother's concern was "being late to the party!" Ah, the innocence of youth...such a great thing!

On Wednesday, I received my "quiz" back from my late class. I did decently, but I was less than pleased about how I was graded considering the feedback on the quiz itself, which was of a positive nature! I even stayed after class to ask the professor about my score, specifically asking how I could have done better, where I lost my points. "You did good!" was the gist of my professor's explanation, which didn't really sit well with me. I left class befuddled!

I'm still puzzled by the whole process, but such is life. Although we constantly strive to understand things in our lives, there are just some things that we must accept at face value. Asking "why and how?" won't make things better!

I'll end this entry so I can get it posted before Monday! I'll hopefully be able to add a "randomness of the week" entry tomorrow some time.

Don't forget to vote on or before November 2!!!!

Thought I Was Gone?!

I'm finally back here in this crazy world of blogging!! Due to the craziness of my schedule and academic demands, I apologize that I haven't been able to compose any entries for the past couple weeks.

Quite a bit has transpired since my last entry of substance. I'll try and reflect on as much of it as I can now!

First things first, our UH Warrior football team continues their season of ups and downs. On Saturday, in El Paso, TX, they suffered their third loss of the year. The Miners of UTEP simply dominated the Warriors all afternoon. The offense sputtered again, usually reliable players made uncharacteristic mistakes, the defense simply got worn down (a defense that was bruised and battered already to begin with), and the ball simply didn't bounce their way. "One and clear." That's how the team must view this. Another game, another opportunity to earn a victory awaits them this next Saturday, October 23rd when they play San Jose St. at Aloha Stadium.

If any game could be marked as a "must win," it IS this game. In order for the team to achieve their goal, which is to win 7 games to become bowl-eligible, they need to win as many home games as possible. Traveling is tough, everyone knows that, but if they can take care of business on their home turf, they'll put themselves in a position to achieve their goal. I have nothing but confidence that the team has the ability to achieve! Everyone will need to come together, and keep working as hard as they can, as they continue on their journey to the Hawaii Bowl.

Earlier on this Saturday, I went bowling. It appears that I might have broken out of whatever slump I had been in. Things started off better than I could have hoped for! Right out of the gates, I bowled a 201. My first 200+ game in a long while! I was ecstatic! My friend, "Jimmy" (name changed to maintain privacy), came to the alley to support me, as we planned to bowl after my league had finished. Usually, I "choke," or fold under the pressure, when I know people are watching me. But, I stayed quite calm and focused at my task at hand, bowling as best I could. I was happy that he could see me bowling at my best. He should have made the 60-player travel squad to Texas, but as things would have it, the Coach decided to take someone else. I know this had an impact on "Jimmy," as he felt puzzled as to what he was doing "wrong," but he kept a positive perspective and was eager to find out what HE needed to do in order to get better. Coming to the bowling alley was a nice "distraction" of sorts for him, and we spoke nothing of football whatsoever.

We were too intent on making sure we would win this tie-breaker of sorts! I would finish off my league play, ending with a 564 series (total score over 3 games). This was probably my highest series score ever. I came oh so close to bowling another 200-game in my final league game for the day, missing it by 1 darn pin, settling for a 199.

"Oh boy, I need to step it up today!" "Jimmy" commented to me. I felt good; I was going to win this final battle! Finally, we got things started. I started off, bowling 5 frames, and at first, things looked to be shaky as I left the first two frames open. "B, you're going down!" Okay, "Jimmy," don't get your hopes up too high!

I'd settle down and have marks in the next 3 frames, a couple strikes thrown in for good measure. Now it was "Jimmy's" turn. He started off the same way I did, but ended his 5 frame set with a strike. This could be interesting after all. I was not going to be denied victory on this day; I was focused and locked in. I finished off my game, ending with a 168.

By "Jimmy's" 8th frame, the outcome had been decided. But, he finished things off as best he could; fighting all the way till the end. 168 to 135. We would have bowled more, but there were much more important things ahead in "Jimmy's" Saturday afternoon, namely a "date." Go "Jimmy," go!

All in all, we had a fun time. In an earlier conversation, I told him to keep hanging in there, even though it's hard to keep going when you feel you haven't been given a fair shot. "Your time WILL come; you're only 1 or 2 plays away from being THE man." "Jimmy" will be just fine and I look forward to watching him do great things out on the field in the near future!

Other highlights that come to mind.....I survived the midterm period for the semester. My first exam happened a couple weeks back, and that came at a time when I was a bit distracted. I was approached by one of my professors to participate in a retreat for one of the sports team at the University, and without hesitation I agreed. A couple factors drove me to this decision, one of which was the idea that if ANY professor asks you to do anything outside of the classroom, you want to be that enthusiastic and eager student who jumps at any opportunity to gain further skills through "community learning opportunities." Secondly, the idea of being involved with a sports team was something I could never pass up. This was an opportunity to do exactly what I've hoped to do at some point in my life...speak to a team with the idea of inspiring them through personal stories of adversity.

Immediately after I was asked to consider participating, I started thinking of ideas. I also envisioned exactly what I would share. I was asked about a week before the actual date that I'd be presenting, so I started working on my presentation from that Saturday already. There I sat in our van, at Aloha Stadium, prior to enjoying the Warrior football team play Nevada. By the time we were ready to go into the stadium, I had completed a very rough draft of my speech.

The Warriors had a great game against Nevada. Everyone played their best; the execution of plays was crisp and precise. This was exactly what the team needed, a dominating performance before heading on the road. After the game, the players' spirits were high; they were ready for the great challenge that lay ahead of them in Texas.

That Sunday, I attended a Mortar Board meeting in the role of a student advisor. Although I could certainly have used the 3 hours spent at the meeting studying, I felt it was important for me to fulfill my responsibilities as student advisor and be present at the meeting, should the current membership want or need my input. I was glad I attended the meeting, as I remained informed as to what their current going-ons were. As soon as I came back home, I resumed studying for my exam.

I'd study for a good 3 hours prior to exam time on that Monday as well. I felt confident going into the exam. After the exam, I had a sinking feeling that I didn't do exactly well. I quickly checked some sections in my textbook and discovered that, indeed, I had made errors. Disappointing and not a fun feeling to have after an exam.

Over the week, I'd continue to tinker and tweak my presentation, trying really hard to prepare as best that I could. I consulted with my professor and he provided positive feedback after I shared with him what I planned to do. Later in the week, I asked if he could meet me prior to my presentation time. He was busy in his own preparations for this retreat, so we both knew time would be extremely limited. However, we agreed to meet on Friday morning; my presentation would occur that night. We met and I provided my professor with a preview of what I would be presenting. Nothing provides one with more confidence than hearing the words, "I have no constructive criticism to share with you on improving this....great job!" With that, my professor hurried off to begin the retreat.

Believing that I had performed poorly on an exam earlier this same week for the professor, I knew that I had to take full advantage of redeeming myself. The professor hadn't checked any exams when we met that Friday, as he had been away on a trip on the mainland. In any case, I was excited about this presentation that was to occur that night. I won't reveal exactly who I presented to, but my presentation would take place after the UH Wahine volleyball match, and my professor, along with his wife, works with the women as well so the retreat with the other sports team would have to wait. My parents and I were invited to enjoy the volleyball game and I had no idea that we would be provided with such awesome seating! We literally sat courtside, close enough that getting nailed by flying volleyballs was a clear and present danger! But, we were prepared, and genuinely excited to be there. The view was simply amazing; it was as if we could literally reach out and touch the action. The volleyball girls are amazing athletes; their extreme power and ability to play volleyball at the highest level possible was a treat to watch in itself!

Around 9:30pm on that Friday night, my professor gave me the heads up that we'd soon head off to the location of the presentation/retreat. Soon, my parents and I were entering sacred territory in the Stan Sheriff Arena. Butterflies began to flutter in my stomach, which is always a good sign. You never want to become too comfortable before a presentation, being on edge provides a heightened awareness and ensures that you won't make foolish errors. My presentation went as well as it could have. Keep in mind that I was speaking to an audience who had no clue as to who I was prior to this night, nor did I have much of an understanding as to who they were, only having seen some of them play on TV in the past. I was able to share both of my video poetry pieces, Seeing Beyond Images and What I Am; if I could fine-tune these pieces just a bit more, I feel that I could have something that would be worthy of presenting on a larger scale. "Don't be afraid to dream big!"

By the time we were able to come home, it was about 10:30 at night; just in time to catch the re-broadcast of the volleyball game. My parents and I were eager to spot ourselves on TV, which may sound silly, but I'm sure anyone else would have done the same!

That Saturday, before attending the football game, I bowled. I believe there was some change in my OWN state of mind that took place after I did my presentation to this particular sports team Friday night. I finally bowled three solid games for the first time in a long time! I focused on having fun as I bowled, and didn't beat myself up if I made an errant shot; I just looked to doing better on the next shot. I averaged 169 on this day, and I left the alley feeling happier than I felt in a while after bowling!

This past week, I received my exam back and I did okay. After looking at the corrected exam, I was disappointed in myself; the questions I missed really shouldn't have been troublesome. I'll do better next time. On Wednesday, I had a take-home exam due for my other class. That exam involved analyzing a case from the perspective of a vocational rehabilitation counselor. This was challenging, as I really don't think I received adequate preparation to do case analysis based on class instruction throughout the semester. But, I tried as best I could to compose fundamentally sound answers. I look forward to receiving my exam back this week. I'm at a distinct disadvantage, as I'm the only student in this particular course that isn't already in the counseling profession. Personally, I feel that the professor might teach in a way that is tailored to working professionals, as opposed to students who are completely new to the field.

Wednesday brought excitement into Jim's office. The dean of the University's newly developed film school was scheduled to visit our office. When Jim mentioned his name, Chris Lee, I thought the name sounded familiar so I did what anyone else would do, I "Googled" Chris Lee. I discovered that he, indeed, had produced two blockbuster films, S.W.A.T and Final Fantasy! I could sense a heightened excitement in Jim's spirit. After prepping the office as best we could, Chris Lee finally arrived. He was an engaging individual, and actually spent about 90 minutes in our world. He shared his visions for the film school, Jim shared his visions for our studio, and ultimately it was concluded that both parties could gain from building a relationship. Very exciting stuff....I truly believe we'll be working with Chris in the near future.

On Friday, Jim had a function out in Ewa Beach with the Nature Conservancy. I would arrive at the office early on this day, as my football friends had departed for Texas on Wednesday, so there would be no practice for me to watch. I arrived at the office to see equipment laid out all across the room. Very, very unusual and I thought, surely, Jim would have packed up everything on Thursday night. But, Jim would come by the office early Friday before heading out to Ewa Beach, gathering up all of this equipment. I tried to be as helpful as I could in helping him load up everything into the car...there was LOTS to load. After a good 30 minutes, Jim had everything packed and left me with some tasks to work on during the day.

I knew that I'd be left to my own devices for much of the day, so I decided to bring my own entertainment, in the form of DVDs. The newest addition to the studio, music composer, Patrick, came in earlier than expected. I had just put on the Radio DVD, so we watched it together. I've watched Radio a few times already, but it's always an enjoyable viewing and Patrick hadn't seen this movie before so he was interested in it; I know he enjoyed the movie.

Prior to that, I ran whatever errands that needed to be done; I placed phone calls to follow up on funding that Jim could receive, I submitted a form that I had to sign for the Counseling Education department, I retrieved a firewire cable from the College's library, as Jim literally took just about every cable, camera, and laptop possible!

There were some lectures that needed to be transferred to CD and other footage that needed to be poured onto the computer. I accomplished as much as I could, and there's just a couple more tasks left for me to finish up. This makes sense, as I literally spent over 12 hours at the office on this day, but I didn't mind at all; my day was lengthened as my mom had an appointment to go to after work, so I just waited for her to catch a ride home.

Patrick and I worked on completing my latest video poetry piece that I had composed. This piece is titled Today Awaits Me, and describes what a typical day brings in terms of the different societal attitudes that I must deal with as a person with a disability. Patrick composed an original musical track to go along with my piece, and I think he did a wonderful job. I look forward to sharing this piece with an audience soon.

One of Jim's colleagues, Mellanie, stopped by in the afternoon to get help in viewing a video that she received. I was happy to help her, and she wanted to have the video converted into another format, suggesting that she'd leave a note for Jim to do it. It was a neat feeling to take charge of the situation and offer to do the conversion myself. Who would've known that I'd be in a position to even comprehend converting a video on mini DV tape into another format; she wanted it on VHS, but I mentioned that we could easily put it onto a CD, a more portable format. Mellanie agreed with my logic, and before leaving the office for the night, I started the process. Everything should be ready by Monday!

That's about all for now. I'll try and get back into the routine of posting an entry on a weekly basis! Hopefully you'll find this entry somewhat interesting to read. And as always, do feel free to utilize the comment option at the end of this, and provide me with whatever feedback that you feel inclined to leave!

Have a great week and don't forget to vote on November 2!!!!

Randomness for the week:

A rainbow over the UH football practice fields.


Brian prepares part of his presentation while
tailgating at Aloha Stadium.


The sun sets behind Aloha Stadium during
the UH vs. Tulsa game.


A view from courtside as Victoria Prince prepares
to serve.

"Boyfriends aren't permanent, they're just temporary." Words of wisdom uttered by Jim at some point last week!

Check Back Soon....

Due to an exam I have on Monday, this week's entry is postponed for now. I'll try to compose something soon after Monday...

Thanks for reading!

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