Apprehension Leads to Confidence

This week was a week dedicated to hard work. I didn't have any class sessions on Tuesday, so I was able to put in more hours at work. This turned out to be a a positive as I was able to have a discussion with Dr. Skouge (Jim). He informed me that he volunteered me to serve as "host" of a conference sponsored by the University of Hawaii's Center on Disability Studies (CDS). At first, my initial reaction was, "What?! You did what?!" But, I kept an open mind, listened to Jim describe what my duties would be as "host." It took me a little while to fully process everything, but as I had time to reflect, I realized that I have a great opportunity ahead of me. I was particularly appreciative of the timing of this opportunity, or at least the announcement of the opportunity on Jim's part, as my confidence in myself wasn't exactly at its highest. I was a day removed from internalizing the whole situation regarding my augmentative communication device; a situation that I perceived as a lack of confidence in VR's part in MY abilities, for I would venture to guess that if they had complete confidence that I can achieve (whatever that might be), they would do all that they could to support me.

I suppose the whole situation left me questioning myself, questioning my abilities. Here I constantly tell others about the importance of self-advocacy, my BA is focused on Advocacy for the Disabled, but yet I can't successfully advocate for myself?! This definitely causes one to step back and really look at one's self. You also have faith that VR would be one of the main supporters of my goal to achieve self-sufficiency, be it as it relates to employment AND life in general. Asking someone to jump through all of these hoops, watching that person do so, and not holding up your end of the agreement demonstrates a lack of...confidence, perhaps, maybe even a lack of respect?? I called and spoke with my VR counselor, being extremely polite and cordial, and calmly explained the frustration I was feeling regarding this situation. I constantly reiterated the fact that I appreciated all of the efforts that I believed had been put forth to expedite the situation; I also explained that after a while, hearing "1 month" (regarding how much longer it will take) grows old when you hear it over and over. I was dismayed by the fact that the counselor made a comment to the effect of, "You need to be just a little more patient." Furthermore, the counselor seemed to defend the VR system when I brought up the fact I found out that another client had a DynaWrite ordered by VR in less a week; I called to follow up on this only to hear, "That client received replacement parts for an existing device." At this point, MY faith in VR has hit a low, so I will pursue other avenues of advocacy this week. I owe it to myself to do so, even if I dislike causing waves, rocking the boat, etc. I MUST thank all of you who have posted comments of support, I do appreciate them!

So, Jim's announcement came at a great time. I thanked him for believing in me and expressed my excitement about the opportunity to do something that I wouldn't have dreamed of. I think the expected audience at this conference will be 75-100 people.

On Thursday, after a long, but good day, I had a moment of more confusion! My late class ended, and I waited for my ride to come. Guess who the driver was?! It was the driver from a couple weeks ago, the one who dropped the cell phone and reached to pick it up! At this point, I was exhausted from a long day and knew I had another long day ahead of me, so I wasn't about to refuse my ride home. As I rode home, sure enough the cell rang, the driver answered it, carried on brief conversations; I really didn't know what to think, and I still don't. However, I shared this story with my friend, who pointed out the fact that it was disrespectful on the company's part to promise that this particular driver would never pick me up again, only to go back on their word and send the driver again. In order to be a smart consumer, aside from practicing my self-advocacy skills, I will plan to contact the company this week to express my disappointment.

Positives, positives, surely there must have been more positives this week! Ah, Friday would bring a superb opportunity for me to grow as a person and future professional. Jim invited a young man with cerebral palsy to come and visit our world; this young individual just started attending a community college last fall after graduating from high school. He uses an augmentative communication device as well, except its a different device from the one I use. I'm very aware of privacy and confidentiality, so I'll give him the pseudo-identity of "B." I was admittedly a bit apprehensive about this visit, as Jim had placed the responsibility on me to serve as his "host," at least on this day. Jim and I believe that "B" will visit our office on a regular basis and will become another colleague in our world. I knew just a little about "B," through watching him tell jokes as a young child on a video that Jim had shot, but that's about it. I also haven't had interactions with other individuals with CP who use augmentative communication, I'm also not your "hosty"-type of person; many, including myself, would classify me as shy.

So, "B" arrives , Jim and I welcome him; Jim took the initial lead which was nice, then after about 5 minutes, Jim says, "Okay you two, I'll leave you in peace so you can talk." Let the fun begin! I guess the fact I had little time to think was a plus, I just had to dive right in. I started asking "B" questions to get to know him, and I shared info with him about who I was. It didn't take long at all for me to feel at ease, and not be caught up in the whole moment; the conversation began to feel natural. I quickly appreciated the meaning of being patient, as it took "B" some time to prepare what he wanted to verbalize on his augmentative communication device. I always had a sense of what it meant to be patient, and how fortunate I was to have people around me who are, indeed, patient to allow me to communicate at my own pace, but this interaction put everything into a clearer perspective. I wasn't antsy as I waited, I was genuinely eager to hear what "B" had to say. I also observed that "B" was interested in what I had to say, as he stared intently on my screen display as I entered my messages. Eventually, the conversation became so relaxed and easy, that "B" threw in a few jokes. Having one talker deliver a "knock, knock" joke and have the other talker reply with "who's there" was just a classic moment. "B" soon discovered that we have Beauty and the Beast playing in the office, so that distracted him just a wee bit; who could blame him, that's a good movie to enjoy! I suppose after seeing it played day in and day out, I've become accustomed to having it play without being distracted by it; I actually find myself "needing" it to be on in order to feel comfortable.

We would take a tour of the campus, and again, I'm not really one who is of a hosting type, so this was another challenge. I took "B" around, he followed closely behind me in his powered wheelchair, and I pointed out various buildings, like Sinclair Library, Campus Center, Student Services, etc. etc. I think "B" found this enjoyable as he watched and listened as I described/pointed out each building. We'd make our way back to the office and proceeded to have lunch. Pizza would be the choice of food on this day, and we ate together. After I ate, I noticed a water bottle in the bag on the back of "B's" chair, so I took it out, opened the bottle, put the straw in and held the bottle as he drank. No words had to be exchanged, I just knew what I was supposed to do. It felt great to finally do something "right!" "B" would finish drinking, and I put the water bottle back into his bag, disposed of our trash.

I had a meeting to attend and "B" was given the option to tag along with me, but on this day he chose to remain with Jim in the computer lab and compose a story using software called Storybook Weaver Deluxe. It was a great day overall spent with "B," one that began with apprehension and ended in my having a bit more confidence to take on new risks, knowing that most often it WILL turn out just fine.

I attended a disability culture training that was presented by Steve and Lillian Brown, resident scholars of CDS. Although I had seen and heard them talk about disability culture in the past, I really enjoyed attending this. Steve shared a poem called Tell YOUR Story, which I connected with in particular because he spoke about the need to take risks in order to pave your path to glory. I listened to this and thought, "wow, I shouldn't be hesitant to rock the boat or cause waves." I left this training session feeling inspired!

I quickly headed to meet with the deaf girls from Pohnpeii. On this day, only one of them would be present, Sharon, as the other girl had to meet with a tutor at school. Steven (my co-worker) and I worked with Sharon to demonstrate how to create a story book using pictures that she had taken. We showed her how to enter text to go along with the pictures, and she did a great job in quickly catching on to this concept. Our visit ended after a couple hours. I was ready to head on home, ending a long but productive and meaningful week!

On Friday afternoon, my mom shared with me that the person from McCoy Pavilion informed her that we have the thumbs up to have Art Enabled take place at that facility. I am so very stoked about this! Sabrina and I finally have concrete plans to work from; Art Enabled 2005 WILL take place from 10am to 4pm on July 22, 2005 at McCoy Pavilion!!! Please visit http://www.geocities.com/artenabled for further information, if you wish to participate or volunteer! We look forward to organizing an awesome event that the entire community can enjoy and be a part of.

Thanks again to everyone who posted comments of support within the past week. I also thank everyone who participated in the "contest" to name my iguana art piece. Many unique and intriguing, wonderful suggestions came through. The "winning" suggestion, or at least the one I decided to go with, came via e-mail. You can see the name below in my pictures.

Randomness for the week:


It sure rained on Saturday. The puddle in the backyard.


This snail didn't seem to mind the rain as it strolled along


Introducing......Recy - Royal Elcycer (Royal for his
blue eyes, and "Elcycer" is recycle spelled backwards)
Thanks for ALL the suggestions, everyone!

Until next time, have a great week and don't shy away from taking risks!

Today I met with Sharon, who is from Pohnpeii State, of the Federated States of Micronesia. We worked on putting pictures onto the computer. It was fun!
Posted by Brian

You Think You Know, But You Have No Idea

A very rare time that I'll compose an entry on consecutive days. But it'll be an interesting read, I assure you.

I like to think of myself as a nice person, I always try to do good, do the right thing, treat people with respect. I certainly don't try to be mean or do bad to anyone. You'd think I should have good karma, or whatever you believe in....

Last night I received an e-mail regarding my augmentative communication device. It wasn't a bad note, in fact it was a positive one. Someone had received a DynaWrite through the Department of Vocational Rehabilitation (VR). "Great!" one should think.

It's great except for one minor detail....I've been patiently waiting for over a year to receive my device, all the while trying my best to convince VR that they should support this. Finally VR is convinced, but yet there's a bunch of hoops that I was asked to jump through. I DO all that they ask of me....now it has become a waiting game, "pass the buck" if you will. Come to find out, a VR counselor was able to order a device for someone in less than a week's time! How can there be such a huge disparity in this idea of "delivery of services?"

What exactly am I missing here?! Something is definitely askew in this picture. It's like someone has punched me in my gut or played a very sick joke on me.

I'll openly admit to literally feeling sick after processing all of this. I write this entry as I cope with a migraine headache, definitely brought on by self-induced stress. What do I take away from this? I MUST learn to deal with stress better, don't let situations affect me so much.

I am very grateful that DynaVox has been extremely supportive of me. They have and continue to believe that I benefit greatly by using a DynaWrite. Thus, I AM happy that I could help them in serving another individual who will benefit from their product. I look forward to the day that I can proclaim, "I have my OWN DynaWrite!"

Does this mean that I'll start being not nice, more "mean" in my attempts to advocate for myself? Probably not. However, I will question my competence in advocacy until I receive the support I am entitled to. A year plus, in my eyes, is NOT considered "timely" in terms of delivery of service.

Broadening Horizons

I had a good week. Yes, it was long once again, but that will be just a fact of life this semester. I'm not Father Time so I can't do anything to change how many hours there are in a day, week, etc. We're just kept in check by the concept of time; if you really think about it, time is such that you can't grasp it but its there! Quite fascinating, ain't it?!

Yesterday, Saturday, I had hoped to attend a concert. Lisa Loeb, the cute singer who plays "good" music, was to play at the Hawaiian Hut, a showroom at the Ala Moana Hotel. Everyone I asked if they wanted to come with me had prior commitments, although they really would have gone if they could. Another fact of life. I was planning to go myself or with my mom, but as it turns out we BOTH were tired and drained so even I didn't go! There's always next time.

Earlier in the day, I went to a barbecue that one of my football friends had, as he's moving to the continent to play semi-pro football. At first, I wasn't really interested in going, but another friend of mine kept on me, "Let's go, it'll be good!" So I went, and I had a great time. I saw friends who I hadn't seen in a while, and it was nice to be in a environment that was so peaceful and relaxing. It was at a beach front property and the view was just amazing. I should have taken pictures, but I was caught up in just enjoying being there. Sometimes you just have to do that and not worry about capturing it for future use. The MIND is the greatest memory stick, photo album, biographical resource that we possess! It was a gorgeous day out, too.

I've been working on the National Institute for Multicultural Competence's (NIMC) Newsletter site, Pathways; updating it with announcements and archiving our first article. It took me a while to get this just right; there's a lot of testing and re-testing that goes into authoring webpages. Or maybe that's just me, I WANT people to enjoy going to the newsletter and navigating through it without and trouble. I'm very excited about the newsletter as a whole since Dr. D'Andrea receives numerous requests from individuals who want to receive our e-mail announcements on a weekly basis! The website can be found here, http://www.geocities.com/nimc_newsletter If ant of you wish to join the NIMC, it's a free organization, please e-mail nimc_newsletter@yahoo.com and I'll be sure to add you to our mailing list.

My week at school was good. On Tuesday, I experienced a moment of panic as I realized that I'm a little behind on my 60 hours of direct client services for my practicum. I immediately approached Dr. Skouge (Jim), as he is my site-supervisor, and he was extremely helpful. Jim is one of those individuals who never seems to get rattled when challenges arise, he thinks it through and comes up with wonderful solutions or ideas! I felt much better after speaking to him and feel confident everything will work out.

Thursday was a LONG day; that's the best way to describe it. I arrived at work around 6:45am, ready to duplicate CD's for Jim's class later that afternoon. I knew I was under a tight schedule as I would need to leave to attend a Disability and Communication Access Board (DCAB) meeting around mid-afternoon. Usually we do all of our CD duplicating in the CRC, the College of Education's library and media resource center since they have a CD duplicator that can burn 6 CD's at once. The slight problem was that they open at 9, and I felt like I should get started on this task; it HAD to get completed. So, I began the tedious task of burning the copies one by one on our computer in the office. This actually worked out fine because I got into a comfortable rhythm and the task began to carry itself. I was just feeding the blank CD's into the drive. I got 75% of the copying done and then proceeded to the CRC at 9 to finish up the task.

I spoke to Jim that morning and he asked if I could record my speech that I was to deliver to his class later that evening. I quickly remembered that the best audio recorder is a video camera, so that's exactly what I used! I plugged in the iSight camera into the computer and sat there recording my speech. I edited out the "dead air" using iMovie. Boy, Macs are so user friendly and great...a bold statement coming from someone who was solely a PC user up until a year and a half ago! I also recorded a little introductory message for Dr. D'Andrea to play on my behalf at the NIMC Conferences this week in Hollywood, California.

I value Dr. D'Andrea's vision to have as many people "hear" me through my augmentative communication device, the DynaWrite made by DynaVox. This vision parallels Jim's idea that people need to hear more of these devices so the "shock" or "awe" effect is lessened. And from my perspective, being that I survived without a true "voice" for so long, I'm getting used to the idea of being more vocal so to speak. It will be an ongoing transition and growing process for me, but I welcome this opportunity!

I attended the aforementioned DCAB meeting and I will openly admit that I was bored sitting through it! I tried my darndest to get enthused about it, but it just seemed to drag on and on, with a certain core dominating the meeting. I'm still "new" to this so I'm hopeful that I will be able to shed my tendency to be passive.

I hurried back to campus, preparing myself mentally for the presentation that I was to give that evening in Jim's Technology for Students with Disabilities class. On my way back to the office, I ran into my friend, who shared some exciting news with me. She had just received a full-time graduate assistant position! I KNOW that my reaction was very much subdued, and I'm disappointed in myself for this. I'm one who loves the idea of friends being able to share highs and lows with each other and be able to feel happy, sad, disappointed, etc. with the other person. The only explanation I have for my lack of emotion on this day was that I was entering my "zone;" athletes will often enter this so called zone prior to a game and become really focused on their forthcoming game. I very much am happy and excited that my friend received this opportunity, and I explained this to her in a conversation later.

My presentation in Jim's. This is the second semester that I've done this presentation, Jim shows the class three videos, the first being a short interview with me sharing a little bit about myself, and then the next two videos are my video poetry pieces, and I wrap up with some remarks. I could have used the same remarks from last semester, but to me that would be boring, so I challenged myself to come up with a whole new speech. I worked on this on Wednesday and hoped that it would be received well. My speech talked about the importance of taking risks and not shying away from having high expectations of their students, be it if they have a disability or not. I also spoke to the fact that assistive technology would be the tool that they would use to level the playing ground, the gap in the bridge between the disabled and non-disabled would be closed, and instead of viewing it as accommodations, we could look at it as an opportunity to include ALL people in society. I always end my remarks by saying a few words about Jim, my mentor and friend. I do this NOT because I feel obligated or to score any points, that is not what I'm about; I do this because I feel it is important to openly acknowledge people who have helped you get where you are! This is why I mention my family in my entries so often, this is why I mention friends on a regular basis, and this is why I mention teachers/professors on a regular basis.

My presentation went very well. I was a bit overwhelmed by the responses that students provided immediately following it. They ranged from "Brian, I'm sorry I didn't approach you before, even though I've always seen you around" to "You're an inspiring individual." Very candid responses, extremely honest and frank. Then on this night there would be Jim's reaction. I know and respect that Jim is an emotional person, I don't see that as wrong, but rather being extremely genuine. Jim apologized for becoming so emotional, but MY take is that apologizing is NOT necessary...emotions are real, and it is very refreshing to see a professor open up to his class and actually show emotion!

I am excited about the opportunity to work with the students in this class throughout the semester. I just hope that I can provide them with the help and assistance that they deserve.

On Friday, I knew that I would be interacting with the two deaf girls from Pohnpei State of the Federated States of Micronesia. I had been working and discussing this with Jim's colleague, Mellanie, and my co-worker, Steven, as they have had contact with these girls already on a regular basis. I was excited about the opportunity, but yet felt some uneasiness as I didn't know what to expect. What the heck was I nervous about?! The girls were so engaging and have this overall positive/happy disposition that you can't help but get happy about yourself, too! We communicated at first by using my DynaWrite and taking turns typing messages to each other. Another great example of how invaluable having a DynaWrite IS!! Our visit with each other lasted just under 2 hours and we'll be meeting on a regular basis every Friday. This will be a semester where my horizons will be broadened!

I've been thinking a lot about Art Enabled. I have a genuine excitement about being able to organize it and have it take place on July 22, 2005. Along with this excitement, I will admit to experiencing moments of stress....again self-induced stress. I think the stress stems from my desire to do as good a job as I can so that the event will be as great as it can and should be! If any of you are interested in helping and/or participating, please feel free to contact me through artenabled@yahoo.com. Today, in a few moments actually, I'll be scouting locations, particularly the McCoy Pavilion at Ala Moana Beach Park to see how viable a location that may be.

Randomness for the week:


Brian at work. Notice the heater in the background!
Brrr, its cold, thus the "frosted" look of this pic!


The Tennessee Titans and Hawaii connection!


A cool building across the street of Ala Moana
Beach Park.


A cute bamboo plant in our house.
Bamboo is thought to be good luck
in Japanese culture.


The site of Art Enabled 2005 (I'm 99% sure!)

Until next week, have a wonderful week. Thanks to everyone who has posted comments of late. My iguana friend WILL have a name by next week, I'll take this week to examine all the suggestions thus far!

A LONG Good Week

It is rare that one can say that a LONG week was a good week, but as I sit here and ponder what has transpired I can say that I did have a good week! I calculated that I put in a total of 28 hours at work; during the time I'm there, it really doesn't feel that long, a true sign of how much I enjoy being there. A testament to my boss and mentor, Dr. James Skouge (Jim), and to my co-workers, who make being at work a joy each and every day!

On Friday, I met with Jim's colleague, Mellanie Lee, as we're working together to help empower two deaf girls from Pohmpei State, part of the Federated Islands of Micronesia, in sharing their unique and wonderful story of being the first deaf students to attend college here in America. I will have the honor of working closely with the girls to achieve this goal. I am very excited and grateful for the opportunity that Mellanie and Jim have provided for me!

I also met with Dr. D'Andrea on Friday. We had a productive meeting, as we talked about future plans for the NIMC Newsletter, and I attempted to provide a brief lesson on webpage authoring to him as best I could. I welcome this opportunity to help work on the website, even though it WILL take time and energy on my part, but I fully support the intent of it; if I felt that it wasn't something worthwhile, I would NOT commit to it. I'm one who puts a 100% effort into projects, journeys, and tasks that I feel strongly about. I am not about taking on projects just to take them on and do a less than stellar job...that is NOT me.

Sabrina and I secured our first performer for Art Enabled!! I am very stoked (excited) about this, as we slowly, but surely, work towards organizing what will be a truly special and awesome event. In the coming days we will work towards establishing a clear outline of what it is that we want/hope to see at the event itself. Steve Brown, a resident scholar and professor for the Center on Disability Studies, will do poetry readings at our event scheduled for July 22, 2005. We are honored to have his participation, as he does beautiful poetry and is extremely versed in disability culture. Again, if ANY of you reading are interested in being a part of Art Enabled 2005, please e-mail artenabled@yahoo.com.

I am cognizant of the fact that I'll need to keep myself on track this semester and not fall into the temptation of procrastinating. Yes, the "P" word, procrastinate! A very ugly word, one that I've battled and have fallen victim to throughout my college journey. However, I am determined, in fact I will NOT procrastinate this semester. I'll make every effort to keep myself on task day in and day out. If you remember to tackle tasks in little steps, it becomes a little easier. On the other hand, if you try to take on an entire task at once, you'll most likely feel like you've been run over by a Mack truck! Okay, maybe that was a tasteless analogy considering I'm just days removed from nearly experiencing that very feeling, but I'm doing very well, looking to move beyond that scary incident. Remember, Rome was not built in a day!

Regarding my close call, I must commend the transportation company for taking an extremely proactive approach in dealing with the situation. On Thursday night, the driver who picked me up was the night supervisor for the company and apologized for what had happened Tuesday. I was reassured that the driver from Tuesday would never pick me up again. That is what I consider good customer service! It still felt a little weird passing the area where the near accident almost occurred. It made me reflect yet again on how lucky I really am.

Thursday was a long day, with my being on campus for over 14 hours. I came home and had a good dinner, showered, and proceeded to chat with my friend, Sabrina, something that we hadn't done in a while. We had a great conversation and it was only because I realized that it was 2am that we decided to say our goodbyes for the night! It's a great feeling to be able to talk/chat with someone and feel like you could carry on forever. I definitely value her friendship and know that we have a mutual respect of and for each other.

I encourage you all to take a moment to reflect on the great things that Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. contributed to our society. Here was a very brave individual who stood up for what he believed in and helped others to fight the good fight for truth, justice, and equality. I am glad that our State of Hawaii honors him with a holiday; there will be a march and rally as well to honor his spirit.

Randomness for the week:


My iguana friend still needs a name!

Thanks, Elizabeth, for your suggestion! Come on folks, don't be shy to throw ideas my way, just click the Comment link and type away!


I went to Costco on Sunday; it was bustling with activity as usual!


A cool building structure at Dole Cannery Square

Until next week, remember to pay tribute to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. in some way today! Have a wonderful week!!!

Don't Cell & Drive!

I survived my first official day of the semester yesterday! I use the word "survive" in a figurative and literal sense. For one, I endured a 12+ hour day on campus. I'm happy with my Tuesday classes; I have one course in theories and practices of counseling and my other class is for my practicum (one step before doing an internship). The professors I have this semester, I've taken courses from them in the past and I know they're excellent teachers and will definitely challenge their students to grow and develop personally and professionally. I like that.

The second part of my survival refers to my ride home from the University. I live about 30 to 40 minutes away from campus on the eastern side of Oahu, in a town called Kailua. I won't reveal details of my transporter (all I'll say is it was a company specializing in providing transportation for persons with disabilities), just to maintain privacy and to avoid turning my entry into a public forum of negativity. As we're going along the highway, we essentially travel along a mountain; a nice view! I began to doze off (fall asleep), until I felt something drop on my foot. I then hear a cell phone ring. By this time, I'm up and alert. The driver realizes the phone had dropped and was ringing/vibrating, so the driver proceeds to unbuckle the seatbelt! The driver then reaches down to retrieve the phone...we're drifting off onto the shoulder of the highway at a pretty good rate. We were approximately 10 feet from a rock wall covered with meshed fencing, basically we were going to crash into this wall if we continued our path, The driver finishes retrieving the phone and realizes that we're close to hitting the wall, so the driver swerves at once! The swerve took us clear across into the second lane (this being a 2-lane highway), meaning we cut across traffic. As we're crossing the lanes, in the corner of my left eye I could see headlights approaching us (this happened to be a huge delivery truck)! I thought to myself, "Ok! This is not going to be good!" Finally after a moment, the driver regains control of the vehicle. All of this happened in mere seconds, but it felt as if everything happened in slow motion. A very surreal experience, but one that will leave a lasting impact in my mind. After this all happened, I know the driver was shaken up, and to the driver's credit I was asked a few times if I was all right. I'm not sure what an appropriate answer would be at such a time, but I nodded in confirmation but thought to myself "Just get me home in one piece!!"

There was still about 10 to 15 minutes left for this ride until we reached my destination, but I did a lot of thinking and I felt a greater sense of appreciation for the many positives that I have in my life. I also appreciate the little things in life a bit more as well! And this may sound a bit odd, maybe border on sounding egotistical, but I realized that I'm not invincible. I am NOT saying that I ever believed I was invincible; what I'm trying to relay is the sense that I saw how close we are to not being alive and well. So, I feel that this will be a life-altering event in some way.

My dinner on Tuesday tasted just a bit better than usual, I was that much happier to see my parents, I was happy to chat with my sister, etc.

So, what do I hope that you, the reader, gain from this entry. For one, I urge you NOT to use a cell phone while driving; I know that's unrealistic because for some it is an essential part of daily living! So, if you use a cell phone while driving, use a hands-free device. But most importantly, should ANYTHING drop on the floor while driving, please DO NOT ATTEMPT TO PICK IT UP! Whatever it is can wait, trust me, it is not worth risk of accident, injury, or a really, really bad injury like death!

What a way to start a semester! The excitement has just begun....I'm eager to see what the rest of the semester holds for me!

Randomness for the midweek:


A cool iguana figure made from aluminum cans,
an awesome Christmas gift from a friend!
It needs a name, so feel free to leave me
suggestions in the Comments!

Until next time....drive safely and remember not to reach down while driving!! Here's the address to the website I composed and am maintaining for the National Institute on Multicultural Competence Newsletter: http://www.geocities.com/nimc_newsletter/nimcnewsletter.htm
A very successful and positive launch; I am happy!

Happy New Year

As I prepare for the start of the Spring 2005 semester, I thought I'd compose a short post to update you all as to what I have been up to. I sit here in amazement and disbelief that I'm hours away from ending my "winter break" and starting up another semester in graduate school and as a graduate assistant working on Dr. David Leake's project, which can be viewed here. I will continue working under the direction of Dr. Jim Skouge and I truly look forward to another semester of learning by being around Jim and through hands-on learning. They say the best way to learn anything is to actually have the opportunity to TRY something for yourself...I wholeheartedly believe in that line of thought.

I have been working with Dr. Michael D'Andrea, a professor in the Counselor Education department at the University of Hawaii, quite extensively throughout this break. We're hours away from launching a state-of-the-art newsletter for the National Institute for Multicultural Competence (NIMC). This experience has truly provided me with an invaluable opportunity to learn and grow, as I was entrusted with the responsibility to create and maintain the website. I'll provide you with the link as soon as the site is officially launched, most likely tomorrow, January 10. I am very proud of my contributions to this endeavor, not because I did anything spectacular, but rather because I took on the challenge of being a part of something of great importance and I created something that I put my full effort and energy into. I admittedly had NO formal training in webpage design/creation, but I learned by trial and error (hands-on learning), which provides me with a greater sense of pride. I'll continue to learn and grow by being a part of this electronic newsletter and my aim is to use the knowledge I gain by doing this and apply it to help OTHER people as well! I believe that knowledge gained should be shared with others; I believe I've blogged about this, but this is a value that I have gained by being associated with Jim. Another person who exemplifies this value is my friend, Doug Hamasaki, a media specialist in the College of Tropical Agriculture and Human Resources at the University of Hawaii. Doug is, and continues to be, a great source of support and encouragement for me. He constantly reminds me of the great potential opportunities that lay ahead of me if I only take the bull by the horns and actively take full advantage of these chances. "You only get one shot...opportunity comes once in a lifetime," as Eminem raps in his song Lose Yourself.

During the break, I continued to keep my mind active and busy. I went into work, despite Jim suggesting that I take time to enjoy my vacation. I worked on minor tasks that had been left for me, DVD duplicating/authoring, clearing hard drive space, securing funding that Jim will use to purchase equipment for our office with, etc. Little tasks that I felt better completing and entering the new semester with a fresh slate.

I did enjoy the company of my sisters, Lynn and Lori, as they came home from their respective schools on the continent. Lynn has actually graduated with her degree and will be looking for work at her alma mater, somewhere where it rains quite often! Congratulations Lynn on your earning your degree....sure you finished in 3 1/2 years, just to rub in the fact that I took forever to earn my BA, but hey, we're both college graduates now! I know you'll do great in whatever you pursue. Lori will complete her studies this spring. It's an amazing thought that my parents had 3 children attending college all at once! I believe that it is a credit to them that they instilled the values of hard work and stressed the importance of education from an early age in all of us. It never became something where we questioned our futures beyond high school, I believe we all felt that college would be where our futures would be forged. If anyone told me that I'd continue onto graduate school when I graduated from high school, I probably would not have believed them. My idea was that I'd earn my degree in computer science in 4 years, then hit the jackpot by being a computer programmer. It's funny how things work out the way they do because I truly believe that I AM doing what I was ultimately born to do, and that is help people on a direct level. Sure, I could have made great contributions by being a computer programmer, but that's more of an indirect way of helping, assuming one created programs of substance and not just "stuff" just to create it. So, what am I trying to say by discussing all of this? I believe that having that family support is so very important and vital in ANY child's success. I also believe that in order for a child to fully flourish, s/he must be provided with the opportunity and freedom to explore and go after what S/HE wants to do, as opposed to being steered or guided in a specific direction. I look forward to attending my sisters' graduations later this year, hopefully we'll make it!

A resolution for 2005....I honestly haven't thought about this, nor do I really put any emphasis on making any resolutions each year. I believe my resolution for 2004 was to be more of a risk taker, and try things without thinking about them/analyzing the situation so much. Did I succeed in that area? To some degree, yes I did! I took on challenges, or risks, without doing a whole self-reflection analysis before saying, "Okay, I'll do it!" For example, the graduate assistant position opportunity with Dr. Leake sort of just sprung up, and I was in a situation where I knew right away that I'd be foolish NOT to accept the position so I jumped right in. Whereas in the past, I might have said, "Thanks for the offer, but I need some time to think about it." Jim had something to do with this, as he essentially accepted the position for me, for he knew right away that it was a great, great opportunity. The second example of my taking more risks would be my involvement in the NIMC online newsletter. Dr. D'Andrea approached me about it during the fall semester and although I honestly didn't know what I was getting myself into, I said "yes!" immediately. Another example that I can point is my speaking to two athletic teams at the University of Hawaii. I was asked if I'd consider, and I immediately agreed to do it because I knew the benefits far outweighed any risks or negatives associated with the opportunity. I suppose the only risk was that I had to open up and share quite a bit about myself with essentially strangers, people I knew only from enjoying them on TV or at sporting events. However, I STILL feel that I could be more of a risk taker, so I'll make that my resolution again for 2005! I will be more of a risk taker and allow my gut feeling to guide me, as opposed to overanalyzing the situation at hand.

Last Friday, I attempted to organize a social event for the alumni and current members of Mortar Board, an honor society for seniors at the University of Hawaii. Attendance was not very high, not unusual for socials like this, but it was fun nonetheless. We mingled at Brew Moon, a local pub and restaurant in Ward Centre. Everyone had a good time, and it was nice to see friends who I hadn't seen in a while. My co-worker, Steven, and fellow GA, Sabrina joined the fun which was nice!

Last night, my friend, Sabrina, and I went to see a puppet show at Kennedy theater, on the campus of UH. Yes, a puppet show! It was a Jim Gamble production, and this puppeteer has been doing shows here in Hawaii for 30 years. I can recall attending his shows as a young kid each year, so it was nice to revisit something from my childhood. I had a great time at the show, the theme was being at a circus, so the puppets were all characters you'd find at a circus. It was just neat to see and hear all these children having fun before, during, and after the event. I suppose that was my last fun event before ending my break...if you're gonna end with a bang, how can you go wrong with a puppet show!

Feelings are an interesting phenomena to analyze and experience. My latest overanalyzation attempt involves figuring out if one should follow one's mind or one's heart. The challenge is that one part says/tells you to one thing, while the other part says/tells you something else. I suppose its like the good/evil characters that you'll often find in cartoons and each one tries to win over the other. It is Japanese culture to not discuss or talk about feelings, but rather be stoic and keep whatever you're thinking inside. And, there definitely ARE advantages to holding to that train of thought. However, it IS nice to be able to be more open and honest about one's feelings and thoughts. So much for being stoic! I'm realizing that I'm blogging about feelings...I'll end this portion now before I start rambling on too much!

Well, I think that concludes my first entry of the year. Art Enabled 2005 will take place this year; I will continue to keep blogging about this just to keep my focus and energy up for it! We received our first response, based on the numerous letters of inquiry/announcement that Sabrina and I composed. The result of the first response: We have our first participants/attendees for the event, scheduled for July 22, 2005! Again, if any of you are interested and wish to learn more or even possibly volunteer, please contact us through artenabled@yahoo.com

Have a great 2005 and please don't hesitate to leave feedback or comments for me by using the 'Comment' feature at the bottom of this post. I promise to respond to ANY comments that you leave!

Randomness for the week:


Me just prior to January 1, 2005 not drunk!


Homemade sushi for new years!


We went to the Cheesecake Factory to celebrate
my sisters' birthday!


Who doesn't love Ronald McDonald?!

Until next time...