Brian's Ramblings

My thoughts in text, photo, and video form

Monday, February 14, 2005

When Will the Madness End?!!

Due to heightened emotions, I will refrain from composing an entry today. I'm a firm believer in not acting on sheer emotion, but rather writing when you're able to communicate in a composed manner. By practicing this, one avoids saying things might be regrettable upon further reflection.

Upon a deep breath, and a few hours of thought and venting, I feel ready to share some thoughts. Today my feelings of being deceived or led astray by the Department of Vocational Rehabilitation (VR) were confirmed even more. The local vendor that VR had been working with to obtain my DynaWrite from, expressed thoughts that they (VR) were exploring an inappropriate avenue of funding, medical isurance, as my augmentative communication device would hold a greater importance vocationally, rather than medically. I agree with this train of thought. What has made matters a bit absurd is the fact that I was provided with a less than accurate account of what transpired from my VR counselor. I obtained a more accurate recantation of the situation from another source, which I'll keep confidential. "We experienced problems with ______, so we're going with (another vendor)." The fact of thte matter is, VR was told something they didn't want to hear, so they took their business elsewhere; almost like the boy who takes his basketball from his friends who won't let him get his way, and finds a new group of friends who will let him do as he pleases. Is this necessarily wrong? No, but it doesn't exactly make things right either! All anyone can expect from someone is honesty, I believe that is the basis by which respect is earned and provided. Do I trust VR at this point? Sadly, no! Again, I realize I am taking the big risk by sharing this situation in such a public venue, but I feel that it is important for people to hear of my plight, NOT so I benefit from it, but rather so that other individuals in my situation won't have to go through the same struggle like my own. I am hopeful that positives WILL result from what may seem like a no-win situation. Nothing can resolve MY situation to where I'll feel happy; you can't replace a year plus of waiting and jumping through hoops. I accept this and will continue the struggle of fighting for what I view is a fair and just resolution, and that is VR obtaining an augmentative communication device, the DynaWrite, as planned out on my Individualized Plan for Employment (IPE). Those who know me will certainly report that I am a patient and nice individual. I do NOT plan on changing, I won't let someone else dictate how I feel or act; however, there comes a time when one realizes that extreme measures are necessary in order to resolve a situation that remains stuck in neutral.

I will share more about my activities from the past week in a future post.

Randomness for the week:
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The UH baseball team took on Alabama on Saturday
afternoon, they lost the first of the doubleheader but
bounced back to take the nightcap!

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A cloud lingers over Olomana Mountain. No significance,
just thought it made for a nice photograph.

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The 2005 Pro Bowl prior to kickoff.

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The obligatory shot of the Pro Bowl cheerleaders; they
hard to earn a spot here at the NFL's all-star
game, too!

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The NFC (in white/blue) battled the AFC (in red/white) in
2005 Pro Bowl at Aloha Stadium on Sunday.

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Jasmine Trias, of American Idol stardom, performed with
Don Ho
during the halftime of the Pro Bowl. This production
was one
of the best shows I've seen here in Hawaii!

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The AFC defensive unit prepares before the play; the AFC
go on to defeat the NFC, 38-27. Peyton Manning, the
from the Indianapolis Colts, was named the Pro
Bowl MVP.

Until next time, have a happy Valentine's day; hopefully your day was not just a huge reminder of the fact that "Yes, I'm single!" Valentine's is about celebrating the friendships that you have with people, platonic love; celebrating your relationships with family members, familial love; and lastly, enjoying your sense of love for another being, romantic love. The first 2 types of love, I know all about, the last type I know NOTHING about...but such is life. We can't have it all!


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