Brian's Ramblings

My thoughts in text, photo, and video form

Monday, February 28, 2005

Aloha from Pac Rim

I would like to welcome everyone to the Pac Rim breakout session headed by Dr. Steve Brown. I am writing this post assuming that we will have access to the Internet.

A blog is a web log. Essentially it can serve as an online journal. I use my blog to share my going on's week-to-week, as time allows. I was unable to compose a usual entry this week as I was busy preparing for Pac Rim and the National Capacity Building Institute following Pac Rim, while trying my best to be a student with a social life! A juggling act to say the least!

What I hope you take away from my sharing my blog with you is the idea that you can be empowered or empower others with a voice that can be heard/read by anyone in the world! Very amazing if you stop and think about it. It also allows for ongoing interactions, as readers can post comments for each entry if they so choose.

I make a conscious effort to make each entry informative, interesting, thought provoking, humorous, and worthwhile to read for I am well aware of how valuable everyone's time is.

Randomness of the week:

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On Saturday, I bowled with friends. This is my
good friend David, who is moving to
California
soon. Definitely will miss his presence!

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UH vs. Washington St. on Saturday night. Hawaii
won
9 to 8 in 10 innings. Great game!

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Fire from a BBQ I attended on Sunday afternoon with friends.

Until next time, have a great week at Pac Rim. Enjoy all the beauty of Hawaii or where ever you may be, little things are so wonderful if we just take the time to appreciate them!

We're still looking for volunteers/participants for Art Enabled 2005!

Monday, February 14, 2005

When Will the Madness End?!!

Due to heightened emotions, I will refrain from composing an entry today. I'm a firm believer in not acting on sheer emotion, but rather writing when you're able to communicate in a composed manner. By practicing this, one avoids saying things might be regrettable upon further reflection.

Upon a deep breath, and a few hours of thought and venting, I feel ready to share some thoughts. Today my feelings of being deceived or led astray by the Department of Vocational Rehabilitation (VR) were confirmed even more. The local vendor that VR had been working with to obtain my DynaWrite from, expressed thoughts that they (VR) were exploring an inappropriate avenue of funding, medical isurance, as my augmentative communication device would hold a greater importance vocationally, rather than medically. I agree with this train of thought. What has made matters a bit absurd is the fact that I was provided with a less than accurate account of what transpired from my VR counselor. I obtained a more accurate recantation of the situation from another source, which I'll keep confidential. "We experienced problems with ______, so we're going with (another vendor)." The fact of thte matter is, VR was told something they didn't want to hear, so they took their business elsewhere; almost like the boy who takes his basketball from his friends who won't let him get his way, and finds a new group of friends who will let him do as he pleases. Is this necessarily wrong? No, but it doesn't exactly make things right either! All anyone can expect from someone is honesty, I believe that is the basis by which respect is earned and provided. Do I trust VR at this point? Sadly, no! Again, I realize I am taking the big risk by sharing this situation in such a public venue, but I feel that it is important for people to hear of my plight, NOT so I benefit from it, but rather so that other individuals in my situation won't have to go through the same struggle like my own. I am hopeful that positives WILL result from what may seem like a no-win situation. Nothing can resolve MY situation to where I'll feel happy; you can't replace a year plus of waiting and jumping through hoops. I accept this and will continue the struggle of fighting for what I view is a fair and just resolution, and that is VR obtaining an augmentative communication device, the DynaWrite, as planned out on my Individualized Plan for Employment (IPE). Those who know me will certainly report that I am a patient and nice individual. I do NOT plan on changing, I won't let someone else dictate how I feel or act; however, there comes a time when one realizes that extreme measures are necessary in order to resolve a situation that remains stuck in neutral.

I will share more about my activities from the past week in a future post.

Randomness for the week:
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The UH baseball team took on Alabama on Saturday
afternoon, they lost the first of the doubleheader but
bounced back to take the nightcap!

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A cloud lingers over Olomana Mountain. No significance,
just thought it made for a nice photograph.

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The 2005 Pro Bowl prior to kickoff.

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The obligatory shot of the Pro Bowl cheerleaders; they
worked
hard to earn a spot here at the NFL's all-star
game, too!

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The NFC (in white/blue) battled the AFC (in red/white) in
the
2005 Pro Bowl at Aloha Stadium on Sunday.

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Jasmine Trias, of American Idol stardom, performed with
Don Ho
during the halftime of the Pro Bowl. This production
was one
of the best shows I've seen here in Hawaii!


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The AFC defensive unit prepares before the play; the AFC
would
go on to defeat the NFC, 38-27. Peyton Manning, the
quarterback
from the Indianapolis Colts, was named the Pro
Bowl MVP.

Until next time, have a happy Valentine's day; hopefully your day was not just a huge reminder of the fact that "Yes, I'm single!" Valentine's is about celebrating the friendships that you have with people, platonic love; celebrating your relationships with family members, familial love; and lastly, enjoying your sense of love for another being, romantic love. The first 2 types of love, I know all about, the last type I know NOTHING about...but such is life. We can't have it all!

Monday, February 07, 2005

Busy, Busy, Busy

Another week has flown by, and once again I'm left thinking, "Wow where did the time go?!" This was a week packed with many activities, highs AND lows, joy and disappointment. If you can go through such a range of emotions, it's safe to say you've experienced a full week.

On Monday, I assumed the role of advocate and self-advocated for myself. I contacted the Client Advocacy Program (CAP), which is part of the Hawaii Center on Disability Rights, to request their assistance in resolving my long struggle of obtaining an augmentative communication device with voice output from the Department of Vocational Rehabilitation (VR). I do, indeed, realize that I am taking a risk by sharing this information on my blog, perhaps one of the most public forms of communication. Why would I do this? No, it's not to shed a negative light on VR, nor am I attempting to use this as a forum to pressure anyone. My hope is that someone in a similar situation will hear of my struggle, and perhaps be experiencing much of the same feelings as I am, and realize that it IS okay to explore avenues of help. I had to overcome my "fear" of being labeled as a "blacksheep" or one who causes waves, I had to overcome my strong desire to advocate for MYSELF without calling on outsiders for help, and I had to overcome the feeling that I wouldn't be seen as "nice" if I explored this avenue of help. This isn't about being nice or mean, anyone who knows me can readily observe that I certainly have NO intentions whatsoever to be mean; this is about putting my foot down and saying enough is enough. Waiting patiently for over a year for me to obtain an augmentative communication device is simply ridiculous; it is also a little annoying (maybe more than a little) to have the VR worker be stuck in a system that only allows for a reply of "Please be just a little more patient." Wait a minute here! Is MY patience being questioned here?! I certainly don't blame the VR worker, what more could the worker say? If anyone is to blame, and I have serious reservations about blaming anyone, so perhaps I'll say this instead....if anyone/anything is flawed here, it is the system by which VR workers have to work within. Sometimes the only way one can initiate positive changes in a system is to make others aware of the situation!

I also contacted the transportation company who sent the same driver who I had the near accident with, despite assurances that I would never ride with the driver again. The company was apologetic and the person I talked with had no knowledge of the assurance that someone else in the company made, demonstrating the importance of communication in order to provide quality customer service. I explained the situation as I understood it to be, and I feel confident that this will be the last that I'll need to contact them regarding the this driver and the use of cell phones while driving.

Taking risks involve exactly that....risk! The end result of any action could be a positive or negative. Wednesday was a rough day, as I spent the day trying to recover from a "risk" I took that did not end up the way I expected nor anticipated. I'm usually very conservative when it comes to risk taking ventures, so I really thought this particular "risk" through. I won't get into specifics here in order to preserve my own privacy. But I make mention of this simply to illustrate that things won't always go as planned, regardless of how much you analyze and think of every possible outcome; you can't plan for the unexpected! No one was physically injured, nothing was damaged, no laws were broken, so all is well.

On Friday, I attended a planning meeting for the National Capacity Building Institute (CBI) conference, focusing on transition supports to postsecondary education and employment for youth with disabilities. I am proud to announce that I will have the honor of "hosting" this event, which means I'll open the conference by sharing some remarks and some of the video pieces that I have composed. The CBI conference will take place on March 2 to 3 at the Sheraton Waikiki in Honolulu, Hawaii. Dr. Skouge (Jim) sent me to this meeting in his place, as he felt it was important for me to learn more about the conference and he had other tasks to tend to. The planning meeting was interesting, as I was able to learn of all the many details that go into planning a conference of this magnitude. Resident scholar and professor, Dr. Steve Brown was in attendance at this meeting. Steve is one of the most knowledgeable individuals I have ever met as is relates to disability culture and disability issues in general. I've taken courses from him in the past, and I could never turn in a paper that met his standards of excellence, so I thought, perhaps, I wasn't a "good" writer. As we were sitting at the table, waiting for the meeting to begin, Steve uttered 4 simple words that meant so much to me, "Brian's a good writer." This may seem like a very minor detail, but to have someone who IS such a polished and respected writer complement you on your writing, that means a lot! If you're reading this, Steve, thank you for those words!

After my meeting, I met with "B" again. It was nice seeing him again and on this day he'd work on creating a story using Storybook Weaver Deluxe. He got a lot done and it was great observing him working so hard. We took a break for lunch and he wanted Chinese! So I had to think of where we might be able to pick up some Chinese. The weather looked threatening and I felt more comfortable having "B" wait as I went to pick up our food. He didn't mind as he could work more on the story he was creating. I talked about this briefly last week, but it's a neat feeling to be able to help someone. It also requires you to be thoughtful; for example, when I went to pick up lunch, I knew that traveling back to the office with 2 drinks would pose a challenge, especially when I struggle with one cup! So, I decided to buy bottled drinks, stuffing them into my backpack. I also realized that a straw would sink to the bottom of the bottle, so I made sure I brought back a cup so I could pour "B's" drink into the cup so he could use a straw. I also made sure I brought back an ample supply of napkins, for I know how handy they can be! Little details like this go a long way if you want to make for an enjoyable eating experience. I had a mini hamburger steak plate and "B" had chow mien and roast pork. His plate was quite plentiful but as soon as I brought it back, he devoured it as if there was no tomorrow!

During lunch, Dr. D'Andrea stopped by to visit. We had a great conversation regarding our NIMC newsletter website and our communication system that we've implemented for members of the NIMC. We discussed the idea of using a blog as a means to allow for ongoing discussions, an idea that I borrowed from one of my peers, Elizabeth, who is heading an independent student organization in the Counselor Education program, SAGE.

My other big task is working to organize Art Enabled 2005, along with my friend, Sabrina. We received great support from SAGE, as they included our flyer in their first newsletter! We really appreciate that support! Right now, we're trying to recruit potential volunteers and participants/performers, so if you're interested in learning more, please visit our Art Enabled 2005 website. Securing financial support is another top priority, as we'll need to purchase materials for the creation of the mural (canvas, paint, paint brushes, etc). Donations would be more than appreciated!

Lastly, I'll share a little bit about my meeting with the Sharon and Eulalia, the deaf girls from Pohnpei State. They're doing a great job on their weekly tasks. My friend and co-worker, Steven, Mellanie, their mentor, and I provide the girls with an assignment each week, involving taking photos of a particular subject, such as a "Day at school" or "Food you enjoy in Hawaii." In addition, we provide them with photos they took previoulsly and ask them to write a few sentences about the pictures. This will hopefully help them in learning English and allow them to become more familiar with technology. I'm very excited and happy about the progress they're making!

Randomness for the week:

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A beautiful sky during sunset on Thursday
evening! I had to take a picture of it!!

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On Saturday I went bowling with friends. This is
Steven, who
bowled for only the second time in his
life! He did great, though!

Until next time, have a great week! Being strong means knowing how to use the strengths you DO have....advice I picked up from a great Indonesian Randai performance at Kennedy Theater, Luck and Loss: Manandin's Gamble. Always remember to be risk takers, no matter what!

As usual, comments are appreciated and welcomed!