Doors

"When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us." -Alexander Graham Bell

[Editorial note: This entry was composed over the course of about two months, as I didn't feel it had enough substance for a quality entry.]

On March 24, 2016, I had the honor of being invited to share my testimony at Grace Bible Pearlside Church during their pre-Good Friday service. Pastor Norman Nakanishi sent a text message maybe the week prior. Whenever a pastor texts you with an invitation, it's always good practice to say, "Yes!" We got the details squared away, despite both our hectic schedules.

I prepared quietly on the Monday of that week (March 21), once I had my lesson prepared for my final technology thread class of the science course that I am involved with this spring. What people heard on Thursday evening (March 24) could have come across as short, easy to prepare. But, it really takes stillness and silence to find the best words to share the works of God through my testimony. I also read through Bible passages for deeper, and enhanced understanding.

My dad and one of my twin sisters, Lori, came home that same afternoon, after visiting my other twin sister, Lynn, my nephews (one is a newborn), and my brother-in-law in Oregon. They had a nice visit and were excited to attend service that evening.

Pastor Nakanishi knows me extremely well, as we met every Friday for many, many weeks either one-on-one, with his partner, Anthony "Tony" Holyfield, or in Grace groups (small group). He's heard more about me, but more importantly, from me than most people anywhere. My journey to have Jesus back in my life is really because of his steadfast commitment to lead seekers on that journey. As I shared in my testimony that Thursday evening, I explained that I overthink things, so it took some weeks for me to finally surrender my life to Jesus. If interested, you can view the service below:

The questions posed were about experiences that I didn't share publicly before, so preparation was more intense than other services I've spoke at; just because of the overall message being conveyed. It's always good to be challenged to rise above, as was the theme of the series for that specific Thursday.

I didn't know Russell Tolentino, who is a leader for the "young adult" ministry, would be asking the questions. This plays into the rhythm or tone of a conversation. Pastor Nakanishi and I have shared a service more than a few times, so our rapport is well-established. He can play off me, and I can do the same, usually. But it was nice meeting Russell and interacting with him, as he covered the Hawaii Warrior football team in 2007, when we had a magical season, with the hand of God rooted deeply in the heart of it. Russell had heard a lot about me, but didn't get to talk with me during that season, as he had bigger "fish" to catch like Colt Brennan, Davone Bess, Ryan Grice-Mullin, and Dan "the Iceman" Kelly, just to name a few.

This was the first time experiencing Grace Bible Church Pearlside's great new church facility. It is truly beautiful and comes alive with people giving all glory to God. The people of the church have always treated my family and I as one of their own, even if we don't attend this church - simply because of location. If I could teleport, I'd be at this church weekly to enjoy Pastor Nakanishi's sermon and fellowship with wonderful people. I left with my family that night, grateful and humbled with the blessing to share my testimony during a special service.

I did not expect to be invited back to Grace Bible Church Pearlside only about two weeks later. But, again, when a pastor invites you to share at church, say, "Yes!" Be obedient and place you whole faith in the hands of God.

On April 10, 2016, I spoke at all three morning services - 7:30, 9:15, and 11:15AM - for the church. The series was now "Go Beyond" and my testimony focused on the story of Abram, and I shared parallels based on how others judged him for face value, which translated into lesser expectations. During this testimony, I spoke about doors being opened and closed purposefully by God; we need to fully trust Him and be obedient by not remaining "stuck," looking at the door that closed. We could miss the door that has opened, potentially missing an opportunity to continue God's work. If interested, you can watch the service below:

This was another special opportunity, but one that I viewed as an opportunity to openly share and invite my friends and colleagues to church. You never know how such invitations will be received, but we MUST go beyond and not concern ourselves for being fearless warriors for God. For the first service, which I admit was earlier than I usually am awake on Sundays, my colleague, and her husband, with a mutual friend attended. This immediately made me understand that I was here purposefully. My mom's sister and brother (my aunt and uncle) attended, too!

Sharing testimony during a service is quite an exercise in endurance, as you're choosing to open up so many layers of your life; taking courage and faith to do so, knowing that your words might resonate with at least one person in attendance. The first service ended and I tried my best to greet everyone who came up to me before leaving. This is when I wish time could stand still, just so I could connect with people!

I had some moments to "rest," before the next service. Based on listening to my testimony that during that early service, I made small changes in my testimony with the intent to make my message clearer and easier to decipher. I also could add in a little more, as the 9:15AM service could run over the 60 minutes, unlike the first one. So, I included some humor. There's a very fine line as to how much levity you can inject into a testimony, while still being true to His word and expressing how powerful a relationship with God can be. The congregation laughed when I hoped they would, so I was relieved. Service concluded and I saw my colleague and wonderful friend. This was special, as this individual openly admits to not attending church regularly for personal reasons. The person's wonderful son attends another church and has encouraged his parent to attend. That lasted for one Sunday. So, having this person tell me that my message was enjoyable was wonderful! Of all the people I invited personally, and directly, this person was one who I really didn't know how this friend would take to my invitation. God places people where they are at all times purposefully, and I'm glad that I could see my friend after the service just to say, "thank you for attending!" I believe this service had about 750 people in attendance. Amazing.

After all of the handshakes and hugs, I went back with Pastor Nakanishi and his wife, Faye, to rest and relax. Talked a little Hawaii Warrior football, but not too much. We used the time just to enjoy the company of each other!

I fiddled with my testimony, again, trying to make it better for the final service. The 11:15AM audience was more reserved than the others, but they did laugh when I hoped they would. We finished our last service and I thanked Pastor Nakanishi, Tony, and William Lile (who was extremely gracious in hosting my family and I). When I was on stage, I noticed one of Hawaii's finest (HPD), standing guard just in case. As I made my way out of the beautiful warehouse converted into a place to worship, the officer came up to me, asked if I attended Easter Seals Hawaii in the past. I said I did, which prompted him to share that he worked with me when I was a kid, attending the after school program at the 710 Green St. location. Talk about the world being so small! He was happy to be present to hear me speak and we exchanged pleasantries before I departed. I left with an energy that is difficult to describe in words - I felt uplifted, rejuvenated, blessed, and ready to be more of a blessing to others!

We stopped at Sam's Club to fill the van with gas. As we pulled up to the open pump, I heard the couple on our right arguing about something. "Remember, you need to be blessed to be a blessing!" the lady reminded the man outside holding a credit card. God has a sense of humor, as just after having that said, the man looked towards his left and saw me in our van; "Hey Brian!" he said happily. He stopped complaining and pumped gas into his vehicle without further bickering with the female in the car. Definitely a God moment!

I share all of this to get to where I am today, as sometimes doors will remain closed until you take proper and just action to push the door open. Especially if opening a "closed door" could bless others, too! [This is getting ahead of myself, but this entry was created under unique situations.]

I had a wonderful afternoon of "meeting" with an incredible person at Kailua Beach on Friday about a month ago. We arranged to do a lunch meeting to discuss potential collaboration on a project. At the last minute, I came up with the idea of bringing lunch to Kailua Beach and enjoying that beautiful scenery that screams, "Hawaii!" all over it. Just smelling the ocean sea, having sand get on you despite not even stepping into sand, and watching people joyous in enjoying being outside - THAT is simply priceless, confirming for ME that Hawaii will always, always be my home. Nothing, at this point in life, could cause me to up and leave this place that others call "paradise." God's timing is always perfect, as I had been struggling with a "situation," for the lack of a better term. We enjoyed food from the California Pizza Kitchen, which took much longer to prepare than we anticipated. Fortunately, we had the luxury of time and used it to catch up on life. My friend has exciting things going on and I was happy to learn about them. We discussed life, and any other things that great friends do when trying to "catch up."

What I took away from the afternoon, was that my friend is beyond amazing, working on MANY projects, each requiring complete "presence" and energy. There are exciting things on the horizon and I'm just grateful that this individual believes enough in me to ask me to collaborate on a "project."

In trying to be obedient and going where God needs me to be, I've tried hard, and will continue, to make the most of my current "home" - the University of Hawaii at Manoa's College of Education's (COE) Department of Special Education. "Leave a place better than it was when you arrived" has been my guiding mantra throughout my years.

A major breakthrough has taken shape, as the COE, mainly the Dean's office (Dr. Beth Pateman specifically) has been instrumental in addressing concerns of the lack of accessibility at the location of the COE Convocation. Andrews Outdoor Theater (Amphitheater) is a beautiful locale, as the visual imagery highlights all that is beautiful and special in Hawaii. However, accessibility for people with disabilities, especially people with mobility challenges, was really poor and lacking. Students and faculty sat on the grass field, which could be accessed only by navigating many steps. Thus, attendees in wheelchairs, or people who have challenges in navigating steps, are "stuck" in the lodge area at the top row of the bleachers. At the conclusion of convocation, faculty are right there to congratulate students in their cohort or those who were in their courses.

I've had students and friends participate in convocation, but had to send someone down to the grass field to request graduates to come up so I could wish them well. Additionally, family members who may have mobility challenges would need to wait for their graduating relative to finish celebrating with friends before making their way up the steps.

On Tuesday, April 19, 2016 a major development began to take shape. With an advocate in the Facilities branch of the university, the COE leadership (Dean Don Young, Associate Dean Beth Pateman, and Aaron Levine), along with beloved colleagues and a supporter in Facilities, Nicholas Metivier, Andrews Amphitheater was fitted with a ramp, so people with mobility challenges could access the stage and the grassy base of the amphitheater.

When my sister, Lori, and I participated in Convocation together in 2001, I had to navigate through a back gate, pushing away foliage and making sure I would not fall off path, in order to access the stage. All students were in chairs on the floor of this venue, while administrators and program chairs sat on stage. I appreciated participating in this ceremony, especially with my sister, but the accommodation seemed odd. "Go with the flow, Brian. Just go with it."

To see change in action is really exciting! I did nothing special to ignite this change, all I did was make people aware that this was an issue. I wanted to participate more fully, especially after emphasizing the importance of "inclusive communities" in my courses. Any change has resistance and requires time. I was really excited to see these pictures, shared by Dr. Beth Pateman from Mr. Metivier:

 

Upon receiving the photos, I was genuinely excited. Yes, I was excited for a ramp!

The pouring of concrete was scheduled for today, April 23, 2016 at 8:00AM. This was a tad early for me to make the trek in to campus from Kailua to watch this step of the process. But after doing errands in Honolulu in the early afternoon, I went to look at Andrews Amphitheater. This is what I saw:

 

I also couldn't resist taking a picture with the newly poured concrete!

I'm not excited because I'll get to enjoy COE Convocation more fully, rather I share a great excitement for all of the other individuals who will benefit from this enhanced accessibility. This is for the young child with a disability, who may have challenges with mobility, attending a concert, a convocation ceremony, or anything else that will be held in this beautiful venue; this child won't need to fight the same battles that have been fought. This was never about ME; it was about making things better for ALL. "Leave a place better than it was when you arrived."

With the gates to Andrews Outdoor Theater (Amphitheater) opening more fully, I am extremely happy and grateful I'm around to see this "door" opening. Life needs to be lived in such a way that you can truly say, "I gave it my all" in whatever you're doing. I've tried to do this throughout my time in my department. That said, there are times when you need to be brutally honest with yourself, which could entail realizing a "door" could be closing. I'm extremely grateful and fortunate knowing that I have a place in the Department of Special Education for at least another year. There are many things I'd like to accomplish, such as advocating for even greater accessibility within the COE and university. I also want to motivate students so the Student Council for Exceptional Children (SCEC) can flourish and become self-sustaining without a faculty advisor leading the charge. 

There are MANY things left to be completed. I can't fathom being anywhere other than the COE at the University of Hawaii at Manoa. I love my colleagues and I feel blessed to have the responsibility of preparing future educators. I'll keep pouring all of my being into all I do there.

On Friday, May 13, 2016, the COE Convocation was held at Andrews Outdoor Theater (Amphitheater). I eagerly attended, walking to the venue with my friends and colleagues from the Department of Education. Upon arrival, some chose to enter through the "common" route, which had about 4 or 5 steps. Another colleague and two students from the Big Island walked with me to the entrance for the ramp.

Instead of reinventing the wheel, I'll share an e-mail I composed for Mr. Metivier and the Dean's office on Sunday, May 15, 2016:

"Hi Nick,

I wanted to thank you for being the champion needed to start positive changes with accessibility at Andrews Outdoor Theater (Amphitheater). I happily used the beautiful ramp on Friday to attend the COE Convocation.

However, when told I would be seated on the stage, I admittedly was a little befuddled, as I thought the ramp would lead to the ground-level, where the chairs for graduates and faculty were located. I enjoyed sitting under the tent with my department chair and with other esteemed chairpersons; it felt just a tad strange to not sit with my students and colleagues.

I have pictures from this momentous occasion:

Even my mom and sister were excited to use the ramp!

Dr. Aaron Levine, myself, and my service dog were really happy I could attend!

I don't know if signage will be put up at some point, but when I got to this gate, it appeared "locked," but a colleague realized the pole just needed to be lifted.

These are the four stairs/steps that are the next "hurdle" to overcome.

I would have loved sitting in this spot on the ground-level, with my colleagues and students.

As Convocation concluded, students and families exchange lei, take pictures, etc. I couldn't help but notice (with another colleague) that this gentleman (in white, top left of picture) had to just wait at the top of the bleachers to see/greet who he attended the event for.

With all that shared, I AM extremely grateful for what has been done at Andrews. It's a WONDERFUL first step. I hope the ramp remains until a permanent "fix" is actually scheduled. I believe an article in the KaLeo mentioned taking the ramp down during the summer.

The four remaining steps/stairs seem like a very minor problem (but I'm aware it's complex), but I'm confident that a solution can be found. By doing so, there will be even more individuals happy to use the ramp! On Friday, the A/V people from CRDG expressed great appreciation, as they used the ramp to bring their gear/equipment into Andrews. Walking out of Andrews. someone with a sore knee used the ramp to get out of Andrews, lessening the amount of stairs needed to navigate.

If there's anything I can do to help this process, I would be more than happy to assist in any way!

Thanks again to Drs. Bateman, Young, and Levine for their steadfast commitment and support. And thanks again to you, Nick!

With great gratitude,

Brian"

 ------------

This was a challenging message to compose, as I definitely do NOT want to come across as the radical advocate for issues related to disability, who will constantly find things to complain about. However, something HAD to be said, so people could recognize that the project to make Andrews Outdoor Theater (Amphitheater) more accessible for ALL people is not completed, yet.

Yes, I could just skip COE Convocation, but this is the "fun" part about teaching; you get to see people grow and develop into highly capable professionals; my promise to attend every Convocation once Andrews is fully accessible will remain. Let's do the right thing and make it FULLY accessible, as opposed to partially accessible!

Perhaps, one of the greatest outcomes from attending the 2016 Spring COE Convocation came in a simple message from a student, expressing happiness and gratitude that I could be there and see them finish a long, challenging journey!

Will a door close? Will a door open? Will I need to knock a door down? Only God knows. Remember not to stare too long at any door, as this wouldn't allow for great things to come to life!

I must remain obedient and trust God will place me where He needs me to be!

*As of Saturday, May 21, 2016, no reply to my e-mail has been received*

Until next time...

Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/a/alexanderg409116.html

When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us. Alexander Graham Bell
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/a/alexanderg409116.html

When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us. Alexander Graham Bell
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/a/alexanderg409116.html

When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us. Alexander Graham Bell
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/a/alexanderg409116.html

When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us. Alexander Graham Bell
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/a/alexanderg409116.html

When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us. Alexander Graham Bell
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/a/alexanderg409116.html

When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us. Alexander Graham Bell
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/a/alexanderg409116.html

Looking Back In Order to Look Ahead

"But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one."

-2 Thessalonians 3:3

2015 started off with signs it would be "just another year." However, it was a very eventful journey. There was great joy, happiness, and satisfaction. Conversely, it brought great sorrow, disappointment, and pushed me to depths of exhaustion that I never experienced before.

I did the best I could as an instructor for the College of Education's (COE) Department of Special Education, preparing future educators of our keiki (children). I genuinely loved every class session I taught, as I tried to provide the best educational experience for the students in my courses.

In Spring 2015, I taught SPED 480 - "Technology for Children with Disabilities" - in two separate forms of delivery. One was traditional, face-to-face, while the other was delivered solely online. This was my first time teaching the same course concurrently, delivering it in two different ways in the same semester. I had to make sure I was addressing the correct topic for each class, as I had two different schedules for each section. Was this the wisest decision? Probably not, but by going through it I'll hopefully develop into a better educator.

I also saw Boyz II Men in concert, on Valentine's Day! It was nice to see a live performance by a group I grew up listening to. Valentine's Day was still just "another day," though. I was just happy to experience something wonderful with someone I truly appreciate. Later in the year, we enjoyed a Janet Jackson concert. We'll enjoy a Brian McKnight and En Vogue concert in February 2016. It's nice to do fun things that provide a moment of "escape" from reality.

 

Boyz II Men (blurry because I took the photo)

 

Janet Jackson (Photo credit: Brian Kajiyama) 

Additionally, I experienced something "new" for work, an annual review. Prior to this, I was considered a "casual hire," meaning I would have semester-to-semester contracts. Preparing a self-evaluation was somewhat stressful, as I had to demonstrate that I was doing a decent job in the position I was assigned. Within this process, one needs to boast about what she or he accomplished. Maybe it's the Asian characteristics and values I carry, but bragging about myself was not exactly comfortable. Fortunately, I was deemed as doing well enough to be considered for another contract. What I did not realize was that protocol called for my chair, Dr. Amelia Jenkins, to draft a letter informing me I would not have my contract extended or renewed. In the moments where I waited for Dr. Jenkins to meet with me, all I could think of was, "oh my goodness, I'm going to be unemployed!" But, my meeting with Dr. Jenkins went well and I learned that the letter was drafted that way, as contracts can't be renewed, but the department could request that I be offered another year-long contract. Phew!

I also participated in interviewing students for admittance into College of Education programs. I did this, as I knew there was a demand for interviewers and I also wanted to learn more about the process. There's no better way to learn about a process or system, than going through it yourself. It helped to be paired with faculty who had gone through the process of interviewing potential COE students previously. It was neat to be on the other side, as I've almost always have been the one being interviewed.

The Student Council for Exceptional Children (SCEC) was as active as students' schedules allowed. We participated in the United Cerebral Palsy Association of Hawaii's Great Hawaiian Rubber Duckie Race, which has become a staple project for the SCEC. We help with roadside collection of monetary donations prior to the rubber ducks being dumped into the Ala Wai canal to start the "race." The SCEC also spearheaded a food drive for the Hawaii Foodbank, which was part of the campaign that the entire University of Hawaii at Manoa participated in. This was a great success thanks to the wonderful faculty, staff, and students in the COE. We also participated in the Best Buddies Friendship Walk at Kapolei High School, where the SCEC used funds from Jim's Trust Store to sponsor walkers, with proceeds supporting this organization. We did other service projects, which I really enjoyed; I appreciated students and other supporters making time in busy, busy schedules to volunteer!

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Me and Zeus enjoying Aidan James at the Friendship Walk (Photo credit: Joy Sato)

 

Le'a, me, Joy, and Joshua at the UCPA-HI Dessert Fantasy (Photo credit: Grace Kajiyama)

 

 Donations for a canned food drive during November 2015 (Photo credit: Min Wook Ok)

 

A face/hand painting booth at the Hawaii School for the Deaf and Blind's (HSDB) Winter Festival

Early in 2015, I experienced something I did not ponder previously. I grew up with my grandparents being a big part of my life; my grandpa was my biggest "cheerleader;" my grandma was my second biggest "cheerleader." Sometimes in life, you take things for granted, expecting things to always remain consistent. My grandma was taken ill from December 2014, but battled as much as she could until Super Bowl Sunday, February 1, 2015. On that day, she went to join my grandpa up in heaven. Again, I was asked to compose and deliver the eulogy. It's an honor to be asked, but it's one of the most difficult writings one could be charged with.

Fortunately, I was able to see my grandma while she could still sit and appreciate having her grandchildren there. She expressed how proud she was of all of her grandchildren, and I left with positive thoughts of her. My grandma LOVED our annual family Christmas gatherings. This year, being the first without any grandparents, was different; something was missing. I'll need to get used to the feeling of having something "missing," as the years go on.

At my grandma's funeral, on the Big Island, I saw relatives that I normally don't get to see.  I appreciated that aspect, especially seeing my uncle and aunt from my mom's side of the family. My aunt was just getting over a battle with cancer, but looked really happy. I also saw one of my good friends, Jess, who took time off from teaching so she could attend the service for my grandma.

Getting back into the mindset for teaching was tough, I don't know how I was able to carry on without having any of my students, nor fellow colleagues, knowing I was dealing with "stuff."

There was another realm of life that I did not think I'd ever be in. It's a deeply personal matter, so I won't elaborate. But, I'll say this - learning about a "system" was extremely fascinating. Through this journey, I met amazing individuals who are truly passionate about what they do. I also learned that sometimes in life, you'll experience things that can break you, especially without strong faith and without a deep relationship with God. Again, I was reminded of how blessed I am to have such an amazing family; they have been there for me at ALL times.

In early March, I received a call from my friend, Jeff Reinebold, who was an assistant football coach for the Hawaii Warriors during the time I was a graduate assistant coach. We were playing phone tag, reaching the voicemail box of the other, until I finally reached him as I sat in the parking lot of Costco. He wanted to establish a scholarship in my name and felt this was the "right" time to do so. I put up a fight, as I didn't feel deserving of such an honor. But, Jeff was persistent and I finally caved  in. In May 2015, the Brian Kajiyama Heart of a Warrior scholarship was established, under the larger umbrella of the June Jones Foundation (I am very appreciative of this, as having Coach Jones' provides greater "legitimacy" to the scholarship). We had a press conference in the COE's Andrew W.S. In College Collaboration Center (CCC), which I felt was the "best" place, as the COE has become my "home." The excitement of a press conference was amazing, but I'll admit the cart was put in front of the horse.

 

Press conference for the Brian Kajiyama Heart of a Warrior scholarship (Photo credit: Grace Kajiyama

The real work began once the press conference concluded. This has become another endeavor that has forced me to learn about another "system." Over the summer, I was fortunate to have people, much smarter than me, help draft and refine the application, criteria, description of the scholarship, and create a beautiful website. Our goal was to have high school seniors submit applications by mid-December, so we could award the first scholarship in early spring 2015. I learned many things through this particular journey. I cannot expect others to have the same high standards of excellence that I may have; I need to trust that others will fulfill their responsibilities; and I need to trust the process! I'm personally determined to make this scholarship the best it can be, and I hope it continues well beyond after I have left this earth.

In Fall 2015, I had a wonderful opportunity to teach a "new" course; one that I've been a guest presenter in numerous times. SPED 201 - Disability and Diversity - is an introductory course that makes students, who are mainly comprised of freshman, aware of various disability categories and issues through media (books, videos, news, etc.).  I consulted with my wonderful colleagues, Dr. Rhonda Black and Dr. Bryan Cook, to absorb their great wisdom about the content of the course. They were generous of their time and resources, but ultimately left me to design the course in any way I chose. I had my very first kupuna (senior citizen) to audit my course! I truly appreciated the presence of the kupuna, as she brought a perspective I could never provide myself. She was extremely prompt and engaged, taking notes diligently during each class session. I also used media that I did not think I could use - material that contained vulgarity and offensive comments. This was my attempt to keep the course as "real" as I could; I can only hope that my students appreciated this.

 

SPED 201 class picture (Photo credit: Grace Kajiyama)

Additionally, I informally mentored two new teachers, who graduated from the merged cohort. This was a new experience, but as a mentor I didn't do grand things; I tried to be a sounding board that my two graduates felt comfortable in reaching out to me if they needed anything. One highlight was being able to adopt a classroom through the Hawaii Jaycees Adopt-a-School program. The SCEC donated funds to three schools (Ben Parker Elementary, Kea'au Elementary, and  Kapalama Elementary), so teachers could purchase much needed resources so they could enhance their teaching.

 

Me and Maya (teacher at Ben Parker Elementary)

I also taught my final SPED 480 in it's current form this fall semester. After this, the course won't be required for all general education programs at the College. It's fair to say I strongly don't agree with this decision, as all cohort coordinators have heard nothing but positives from their teacher candidates who took the course from me and other faculty members. I went into this semester with the intent of making this round of SPED 480 the very best it could be. I invited as many guest speakers as I could; I'll openly admit that others bring much more "rich" dialogue into the discussion of assistive (and instructional) technologies (AT). I enjoyed the students in this cohort, as they were really enthusiastic to learn and to engage in various activities in class. On the last day of class, I was presented with something I never had received before. It was a "thank you" card from the whole class! Each wrote a simple note of thanks. This gesture provided me with some comfort that I actually did something "right!"

 

My last cohort for "traditional" SPED 480

I had doubts about my teaching overall in the fall semester, as I could not fully concentrate my efforts and energy on teaching. I had to deal with the other "stuff," which was simply draining in ALL ways (emotionally and physically). But, somehow I found a way each week to be present and available for my students. I also tried to be as transparent as possible, especially when class sessions didn't go as planned when technology didn't work the way I planned.

Another challenge about the other "stuff" came in the form of feeling like the elephant in the room. More colleagues and friends became "involved" in this happening, which was the last thing I wanted to occur, as I value my privacy. However, I am extremely grateful that ALL of them took time out of their busy, busy schedules to be a part of the "process" or "system." If you're reading this, THANK YOU.

As I look ahead to 2016, I have very lofty and concrete goals. I don't refer to them as resolutions, as those can easily fall by the wayside. Goals are more focused, I feel. One goal is to just be a better person - friend, colleague, brother, son, nephew, etc. Another goal is to try to start my own  501(c)(3) non-profit, tax-exempt foundation, so the Brian Kajiyama Heart of a Warrior scholarship can live on it's own, allowing for easier access to critical information, such as how much has been contributed to this specific scholarship. I'll also tighten up the application process and all associated documents. And the selection committee will likely change, as I am learning that a quality committee is comprised of individuals who are committed to paddling in the same canoe and in the same direction. This will require tough decisions to be made, but by assuming responsibilities as chair of this scholarship, I owe it to the scholarship recipients to convene the best people possible. In a sense, I may be considered as a head coach of this scholarship, who relies on having awesome assistant coaches, who fully respect my opinions, but also aren't afraid to tell me things that I NEED to hear, rather than just saying what I WANT to hear.

My instructional duties for Spring 2015 are, yet, different challenges. Sometimes God places you in situations where He pushes you to make difficult decisions; I need to be obedient and truly listen to where He needs me to be. Ultimately, He will provide me with all of the strength and guidance to do the "right" and best thing.

Just to say it, as many have asked my opinion, yes I'm happy my friend, Nick "Rolo" Rolovich, is the new head coach for the Hawaii Warrior football team. He's been a terrific friend from the time he came to Hawaii to play under coach June Jones. His performance over a three-game stretch has to be the greatest performance by a quarterback in NCAA history. IF a position opens and if I'm asked, I would be foolish NOT to listen, as I LOVE being in that environment (being part of something greater than any one person). As Rolo said in his press conference, he's looking for Simba's so we can conquer Pride Rock! But for now, I'm just happy for Rolo and his grand opportunity to do something special.

 

A simple graphic I created in support of my friend, Nick Rolovich, head coach of  Hawaii Warrior football

Coach June Jones has been nothing but gracious and supportive in the decision made by athletic director, David Matlin. In spite of coach Jones' desire to come back "home" and bring the program up to where it was prior to his departure, he's been very professional and supportive of Rolo. That speaks volumes to the character of coach Jones. We (Coach Jones) communicate regularly and he's able to do things that weren't possible before with the luxury of a more "free" schedule, though he still keeps quite busy!

Even though there have been days when I thought there was NO way I could keep going, God has constantly provided me with the strength to carry on and has protected me, greatly, from any "attacks," from the other "stuff" I dealt with in the latter part of 2015.

I also appreciated having my sister, Lynn, my brother-in-law, Jeff, and my nephew, Jacob, visit Hawaii in 2015. My nephew is destined to grow up to be a genius, as my sister teaches him so much each and everyday!

I look forward to a wonderful 2016; I know there is a LOT I need to accomplish. Some can be achieved in the next year, while other endeavors will require me to be steadfast and faithful in seeing things through.

I have no hesitation in sharing that one goal for 2016 is to find my "last," as my window of starting a family of my own is not getting any wider. It's actually closing slowly, with each passing day. I want to ensure that I'm around to see my child, or children, go to proms, come home after a stated curfew, graduate from high school, go on to an institution of higher learning, and to just see a son or daughter be happy with life!

If you've read up to this point, thank you! I appreciate that I have a handful of "subscribers," who receive push updates when I post a new entry.

 

Here's to new beginnings (first, we must look back before looking ahead!)

Until next time... 

Why Teaching is Such a Great Profession

"In teaching you cannot see the fruit of a day's work. It is invisible and remains so, maybe for twenty years." ~Jacques Barzun

The life of a teacher is filled with many emotions.  On some days, you can feel like the worst educator, when your lesson plan or agenda doesn't go as you planned.  Students could see you as the bumbling fool, watching your lesson spiral more and more into the ground.  Then there are course evaluations, where students provide feedback on the course and on you, as an instructor.  I always aim for a 100% completion rate for my evaluations, as it is important to hear from your "audience," who are my students that pay a good amount of money for tuition.  Inevitably, you will have a few students who share feedback about factors that you have no control over.  These can include the temperature of the classroom being too cold, to disliking the time that the course was held; I have NO control over this!

But, when I see comments about the course being too demanding, feeling like discussions dragged on for too long, or feeling like the instructor wasn't "available enough;" this catches my attention immediately and I become fixated on these comments, forgetting the majority that had really nice things to say!  I reflect upon this feedback and take it to heart, as much as I can.

It will be in these moments that a teacher can grow and develop.

On other days, an educator can feel on top of the world, watching the bright eyes of students staring back at him or her, indicating full engagement and comprehension.  Reading feedback that praises you for having the best course that a student has taken in their entire college experience, or words of appreciation for demonstrating a genuine care for them (students), or thanking you for being really organized. These moments help to boost your self-esteem.

This summer, I'm teaching in the statewide program, which allows students across all islands in Hawaii to pursue an undergraduate degree in education.  I've taught in this program for the past 5 years.  Unfortunately, due to restructuring and pruning the statewide program, the course I teach, SPED 480, "Technology for Children with Disabilities," will no longer be required.

In 2010, my department chair, Dr. Amelia Jenkins, presented me with a grand opportunity.  She asked me if I wanted to teach SPED 480, a course that I served as a teaching assistant in for many years under the mentorship of my friend, Dr. Jim Skouge.  When I was asked, my reply was, "Let me think about it and I'll let you know."  I went into Jim's office, a technology-lover's heaven, and sat there pondering what I just heard.  In a matter of minutes, I realized I provided the most silly answer possible.  Here I was being presented with what I had dreamed of and imagined each time I observed Jim in action; how could I NOT say yes emphatically?!

So, I worked up the courage to go into Dr. Jenkins' office and told her I was more than happy and ready to teach the course.  No one knew how this would work.  Dr. Jenkins had to rely on the suggestions of Jim and another colleague, and friend, Dr. Kavita Rao.  Together, they assured Dr. Jenkins I would be more than capable to take on this challenge.

Another amazing tidbit that adds to the unbelievability of this story is the fact that I had never taught a class by myself, ever!  Sure, I could do presentations and guest lectures, but such engagements don't require a prolonged relationship with students.

I actively sought out advice from my colleagues in the Department of Special Education; they ALL were extremely generous with their advice and support!  The statewide program required the course be delivered in a hybrid form; meaning the majority would be online, but there would be face-to-face weekends when students all gathered at Wist Hall for a weekend of learning.

The one person I consulted first, and probably the most, was my friend, Jim.  He is one of the "fathers" of SPED 480, so surely he would have ideas!  "Jim, how would you teach SPED 480 online," I asked one afternoon.  

"Brian, that's a great question.  I'm not really sure because I haven't done it that way!  But, I'm sure you'll come up with a great plan, friend!" Jim said.

This was extremely comforting to hear, as my mentor wished me luck on this new journey!  But, I continued to seek advice, soaking in every idea shared!  My friend, Kavita, is one of the most organized people I know.  She's also extremely intelligent!

"Surround yourself with people way smarter than you, friend," Jim said.  I've took that to heart, even to this very day.

Well, my summer course was fast approaching and I managed to map out a plan for the course, complete with activities, projects, and content.  What served me the best was Kavita's knack for structuring things extremely clearly!

I found myself printing our calendars for the months and actually writing on them!  Using a calendar for my own life was so very foreign!  But as I broke each week down, I gained confidence in knowing that this monumental task could be accomplished!

The statewide program coordinator, Dr. Jennifer Herring, did not know who I was prior to my teaching her cohort.  She has a genuine care and passion for every one of her students, making sure the students are receiving the best educational experience possible.

Another complexity in this incredible story is the fact that face-to-face sessions run for 4 hours for each course during a face-to-face weekend. Teaching for 4, FOUR, hours?!!!!

I wanted to succeed, but more importantly, I wanted my students to succeed!  I did not want to mess this up, as students deserve the best educational experience possible.  So, my plan for the first session, my first time teaching solo involved many hands-on activities.  

"Welcome to SPED 480!" I programmed into my Dynawrite, an augmentative communication device with speech output.  In order to reduce as much "dead air" possible, I spent hours typing in my "lectures" for each class.

The first group, called cohort in educational jargon, was a mixture of traditional and non-traditional students.  In other words, I had students who were more mature than me.  I had to keep their attention and provide them with new knowledge?!

Dr. Herring sat in on my first class, in the back, observing her "children" like a proud mom.  She wasn't just observing them, she was observing me!  

Things went amazingly smoothly and somehow I made the class run for the whole allotted time.  My only concern came when I asked if anyone had questions after reviewing the course syllabus, one student said, "Yes, but I have too many to ask you now!"

But I had their attention, they listened to a synthesized voice that "boomed," as much as it could.  ALL of this was so new, both for the students and for me as an educator.  I was fortunate that the students listened, and were  genuinely interested!

After class ended, I had a few students come up to shake my hand and said they were glad to have me as their teacher.  Before I left, Dr. Herring came up to me and asked, "How long have you been teaching?" 

"This was my first time!" I replied.

"I wouldn't have guessed, " Dr Herring said.  "You were extremely organized!"

"Thank you, I'm relieved it went okay!"

The rest of the summer went really well; I taught the course asynchronously via the university's online learning system, Laulima.  This was something I had to learn to use, and I didn't have the luxury of time to do so.  Yes, I've used it as a student, but using it in the role of an instructor was much more complex!

It was at that point that I realized educators (professors, instructors, lecturers) at a university have to put in just as much work, or even more, than they expect of students.

I took pride in making the content be as easy to access, along with establishing a framework that allowed students to know exactly what was going on, and when.

In the summer of 2010, I discovered that I LOVED teaching.  Despite investing many hours to prepare for classes, the satisfaction I received in hearing very relevant dialogue between students over the summer during Blackboard Collaborate sessions (an online learning environment, allowing a class to meet in "real-time") made every long night worth it.

By the end of the summer, I earned the respect of my students; they asked to take a class picture with me after our final face-to-face session.  I maintained communication, and still do, with many of the students.  I also earned the respect of Dr. Herring.  This was the tipping point for whether I'd continue having opportunities or not.  Fortunately, my course evaluations were positive in nature.

This is the cohort (506) that started my journey as an educator!  

Dr. Jenkins saw me in the hallway one day after the summer course ended and said, "Good job on your course evaluations, I'm glad you did well because I need someone to teach the course in the fall!"  That was a very EASY response on my part, "YES, I'd love to!"

Here we are some 5 years later and I'm in the midst of teaching another statewide cohort.  I've developed confidence to try new things, such as taking the students to the Honolulu Zoo to do an activity involving technology.  I'm also much more aware of what goes on within a class, such as noticing a student who might be texting, or someone who is tired and not as engaged as usual.  Instead of letting it go, I approach students or reach out to make sure they're okay and we're on the same page.

Planning for a trip to the Honolulu Zoo requires a LOT of preparation, so students feel confident doing the activity.  It also requires my having to trust that the students are capable of creating work in an environment that is unpredictable and not sterile.  Things are bound to falter!  But, as teachers, you can NEVER give up!

After a long and tiring day, just this past Saturday, at the zoo - one of the hottest days I can recall - I thanked students in an e-mail.  I've made it a habit to thank students after every class session, providing reminders about deadlines, too.  I don't expect any student to reply.

But ONE did!  That made my whole day, as the student thanked me for such a wonderful experience at the zoo.

When I came home, I was tired and felt "gross," as I was covered in sweat and sun block!  Not the best combination.  But, I proceeded to review their videos.  Seeing students enjoying learning by creating a product provided a great feeling!  I don't see myself as teaching them anything grand, rather I simply share ideas with students that are very doable in their own classrooms.  

Of course, teaching cannot always be a grand experience. You'll encounter issue with students not submitting work on time, some with very personal issues, and some who aren't as into the content as others.  It's MY responsibility to adjust and improve my teaching so students WILL be excited about what they are learning weekly.

As an instructor, I don't always receive immediate feedback after a class session, leaving me to reflect upon how I could have improved, what worked, and what flopped.  In this respect, I cannot see the fruit of a day's work.

Another example is creating a podcast for students, in an effort to complement their learning.  Last week, I found out, thanks to very honest students, that NO one viewed the podcast I created.  Disappointing?  Yes, but I need to just continue "swimming," as Nemo, of Finding Nemo, said.

This evening, I spent 2 hours creating a second podcast.  Will students view or listen to this one?  I honestly don't know!  But, it's my role to providing as much as I can to make learning as enriching as possible!

Another factor that REALLY helps is having a friend who I can vent to; in turn, my friend can vent to me.  This support system is simply invaluable!  And just making me stop working to go enjoy a movie, as any other adult would do....this is PRICELESS!  But it is the long and late-night conversations that I truly value and appreciate the most!  The funny thing is we worked in the same department for a while, but never really stopped to get to know each other.  But through the craziness called work, we were able to learn more about who we are as PEOPLE!  I don't know how sane I would be without this support; for that, I am EXTREMELY grateful!

Though many efforts don't yield immediate results, maybe in 20 years I'll be able to see the invisible "fruit of a day's labor."  And, hopefully I can have you, my friend, to share the joys of what we're blessed to do in our professional lives - TEACHING!

Until next time...