The Craziness of Week 1 of Many to Come

Phew, I survived week 1 of this fall 2004 semester! All in all, I'd still say it was a good week, one that was busy, but fun.

My sinus infection, or at least what I believed was a sinus infection, has departed my body. I recovered fairly quickly, feeling ill on Monday, miserable on Tuesday, and then feeling strong enough to endure over 13 hours on campus on Wednesday. Amazing what drugs can do for one's body.

Wednesday was a test of endurance of sorts, both on my body and my relationship with Dr. Skouge. We would literally see each other for about 7 hours non-stop! If two people can co-exist after being in a room, no larger than a decent sized conference room, for that amount of time and still be able to laugh and smile at day's end...that in itself is an accomplishment!

Suffice it to say, Jim and I were laughing and smiling by day's end on Wednesday. Was it a mundane afternoon? Not by a longshot! We embarked on another project, requiring me to record television shows, which had been made in the past, with captioning open. Usually, captioning, if it exists, is "closed," meaning that it is not readily seen when a show is played. In order to access captioning, one needs to open the captioning, which I learned is contained on the audio track for a show.

Step one in this project was to locate the tapes of these television programs. After searching high and low, Dr. Skouge found a bunch of mini DV tapes that he believed were THE ones we wanted. The next step was to find the captioning converter, a device that "opens" captioning on a tape. Third, we needed to figure out how to set this system up, so that I could record the shows WITH captioning already on the show itself (it would be open-captioned). A few wires needed to be found, and after some searching high and low on Jim's part, we had all the pieces to this intricate set-up. Turned everything on, got the engine ready to roar, we were in business! But, ah, our first roadblock...the captioning wouldn't appear! After a while, it was discovered that these were NOT the correct tapes. We needed the original copies, which were on S-VHS tapes. So, back to hunting Jim went. In the process he almost got crushed by the electronic keyboard that is in the office. The very same keyboard that has provided us with hours of fun, almost was the source of tragedy. Apparently, Jim got entangled in cords that were attached to the keyboard, which in turn caused the whole stand to shift. A few more centimeters of shifting, and, boy, we would have had an ugly scene on our hands.

Imagine if you will, an ant being engulfed under a human finger. No matter what the ant's friends and family would like to do, there's no way that they could help their poor friend and loved one from being crushed. I was that helpless onlooker...but, all I could do was laugh!! I know, that sounds terribly insensitive and heartless...but the whole moment of it all was amusing for some reason! Luckily, there would be no tragedy on this day; Jim would survive and make his goal of seeing his Xth birthday. After the craziness of it all, he laughed as well and we both envisioned the mess that could have been.

After about a good hour or so of hard work on Jim's part, I was finally able to do something productive! I began to tape the television shows, with captioning opened. After we finish taping these shows, we will find appropriate segments and put together a nice little collection of video that will serve as a enhancement for students' learning of assistive technologies. I'm excited to be a part of this project, and just hope I can do just as good a job on it as the idea is in itself.

Around 6:55 that evening, both Jim and I would call it a day, in terms of being in the office. It was rather a small moment, but one that I felt was really neat. I was able to turn off all the lights that illuminate my workstation, providing a sense of closure to my "workday." The office has been adapted so that with a single press of a switch, I can turn on all the lamps and then turn them off just as easily. Having ended my day at work, I had to switch gears and assume the role of a student.

The room we have been delegated to, due to whatever reason, is not exactly conducive to any effective learning; or at least on this night it wasn't. We literally have a classroom in a hole in the wall; its small, cramped, cold, but we have electricity! Electricity is always a good thing. A room that fits 10, on a good day, was made to fit about 20. We would have student introductions, always a fun part of the first class meeting.

"I'm Bob and I work for such and such section of VR."

"I'm Mary and I work for such and such section of VR."

On and on this would repeat itself. My turn, "I'm Brian and I'm just a graduate student luckily, but I'm a Graduate Assistant this fall, so that will keep me busy!" I typed on my DynaWrite.

I'm sitting there thinking, "Holy cow (insert your own word, it'll fit!)! Everyone has an established career and is working. And here I am, JUST a student! I am so in the wrong place."

Class ended early, too early for my liking actually. I was psyched up to endure class until 9:35, and here we were being let out before 8?! In all seriousness, I was happy to be out early. The room started to feel much colder the more we were in there.

My ride was not due until 9:40, which meant I had a fair amount of waiting to do! Luckily, my counselor from Kokua (Disability Services at the University), doubled as my notetaker on this night, and said she would wait with me. I appreciated the company.

At 8pm, campus is eerily quiet and empty. I suppose this is in large part due to people doing "normal" things at such an hour, such as eating dinner, watching the Olympic coverage (in an anticlimactic state), perusing the Internet for Brian's blog....whatever it is, MOST people aren't going to be on campus THIS late! But, as I mentioned in a previous entry, "Life throws you lemons, make lemonade." That's what I hope to do, presented with this daunting challenge of enduring such a late class.

In all, I would have spent 13 hours and 45 minutes on campus on this day. Home was such a welcomed sight!!! The food was even more delicious than it usually is...on this night, my sister, Lynn, made a yummy roast and mashed potatoes. I love mashed potatoes, but I also love my rice. That rules out any chance of my being on any low-carb diet!

Upon reflecting on my class session, I thought to myself, I'm a working student as well this semester! I can finally say, and proudly, that I AM working (earning money) and going to school. I also began to view this situation as a great opportunity to learn of real-world situations that these counselors deal with in their everyday lives. This is NOT a new situation for me, being the only one in a class who isn't in an established career...it just takes getting used to each and every time. I guess I would equate it to a boxer. The boxer might not feel at ease until taking that first blow to the body, and then s/he can wake up and begin to fight. Or take the case of a football player who gets injured and can't play for a while. He might practice for hours, but nothing can substitute live game action. Until that player takes another full-contact hit, he won't know if he truly is back in the game.

I've absorbed my first week, now I'm ready to tackle the semester!

On Saturday, Mortar Board would volunteer at my bowling league. This time, the project chair, Chanel, was really on top of things and secured enough help. On some occasions, this project would be forgotten to some degree, and I would need to scramble to find help at the last minute.
Would my bowling woes continue? It appeared that I had broken out of my slump, my first game was decent and my second game was a little better as well. I felt good again, confident to a degree!

How quickly can confidence leave you swimming in your own humility. My third and final game of the day was yet another performance to forget. Absolutely terrible. I believe I'm suffering from what is termed a mental block. Each week, I'm thinking I'm bound to screw up at some point...so it has become a self-fulfilling prophecy to some extent! Until I can bowl three solid, quality games, this thought will haunt me. I also need to remember to keep telling myself, "one and clear." Don't get too high, nor too low...keep an even disposition. [What you've just read was my attempt at counseling my own self! We'll see how it works...]

This week is finally game week for the UH football Warrior team! Florida-Atlantic...a school that supposedly has athletic players, but is still considered a lower-skilled team overall. I'm excited that the first game of the season is finally around the corner!

My neighbor, a childhood friend of sorts, is getting married this Saturday. There was a brief moment where a decision had to be made...do I attend the wedding or attend the first game of the season? A no-brainer, really. Sorry buddy, I'm headed to Aloha Stadium on Saturday night! I'm sure I'll see you and your wife together for a good, long time. First games of a season only come once a year! Perhaps, this is where some might question my priorities...to me, I know where my priorities stand....weddings and all that stuff just aren't high on my list of things I WANT to see! Now, of course, if it was my OWN wedding, you bet your butt I'd be there! But then again, would I pick a date that conflicted with UH football?! Of course not! It's all about planning!

Random picture of the week:

Mortar Board at Ft. Shafter Bowl

Happy Birthday!

Just a short post to wish Dr. Skouge a very happy birthday!

I'm in the midst of my first week of the fall semester. It's been quite a week, thus far.

Challenging in many ways, but good! It started off quite inauspiciously, with me waking up on Monday feeling sick. My throat was sore and I could feel a pressure on my sinuses...self-diagnosis: a sinus infection!

But, I had to attend the first day of school. Being absent was NOT an option! There were things to do, people to meet, knowledge to be had.

By the end of the day, I felt sick. Luckily, we were able to contact my doctor and shared my self-diagnosis, and was prescribed some antibiotics. The drugs worked really efficiently...at least that's what I'd like to think!

On Tuesday, I was just down and out. I rested at home, thinking about my marathon-like day forthcoming. I woke up on Wednesday feeling pretty good actually! I could have rested at home prior to attending my class, being that my class is from 7:05 to 9:35....at NIGHT! But, I felt fine and figured I'd test my stamina and take a stab at enduring this long day. I arrived on campus, as usual, by 6:45am.

What's there to do at such a time? Watch UH Warrior football practice, of course! Practice went well, the guys are slowly picking up the pace and gearing up for their first game on September 4.

I went to work at Dr. Skouge's after practice. "Please make 30 copies of this." This note, attached to a CD, greeted me as I arrived at an empty office. Off to the CRC I went, finished my task, tested a few CD's before leaving just to make sure I had duplicated them properly. The CD's worked and back to the office I went.

In any case, I'm doing as well as I could hope for at this stage, on a Thursday afternoon! One more day to go, and then it's the weekend! Yippee!

Randomness for the day:
On Monday, I saw my friend, Leilani. It was great to finally see her again, after about a year of being out of touch. She's completed her Masters in Speech already, and is wrapping up another masters in Public Administration. All I can say is "wow." She's someone who never can sit idle...she won't ever be "not busy"....I admire people like that, marvelling at the endless energy supply that such people have!

Have a happy aloha Friday, everyone!

One and Clear

My final week of summer!! Arggghhhh.....where did it all go?! It seems only like yesterday that I had just learned I passed my statistics class and looked forward to enjoying my summer. Boy, time flies when you're having fun; time flies even faster when you grow older (as my friend, Doug, informed me this week).

What would I do for a finale of a wonderful, busy, and productive summer? Attend as many practice of the UH Football Warrior team, of course! What other options were really available?!

In all seriousness, I had an enjoyable week. Spent many hours in the hot, unforgiving sun. Enjoyed the company of friends I've come to know over the years, forged new relationships, and had fun.

Monday was the first day the team held 2-a-days, meaning they practiced once in the morning and again that afternoon. Very grueling on one's body, but an essential aspect in conditioning for a long season. I can't remember specific details, but all I know was it was HOT. I wore a long-sleeved shirt, to protect myself from the sun and the sunburn that would come my way without such protection.

I would enjoy lunch with the team up at the dorm cafeteria. Burgers, pizza, fries, soda pop in unlimited amounts. One could put on a lot of weight if s/he were to go overboard! I ate my fair share...my sisters always tell me I'm not eating enough since I'm so skinny, "Are you anorexic?!" I do eat, I just burn off a lot of energy in a day. Sitting in my chair is NOT a passive activity. My body is constantly in motion. My left arm, my left leg, my head, and my right thumb (at times) all seem to be moving in some fashion at any moment. Am I in control of this? No, I'd much rather look like a boring statue than a bobble head doll, but a bobble head doll is what I'll be...I accept this. Hey, if Timmy Chang (UH QB Heisman Candidate) can have a bobble head doll, they must be cool! I'm just a living, breathing, thinking version of such a doll.

I can put food away just as well as the next guy. A burger, fries, a slice of pizza, and Mountain Dew would be my nourishment of choice. I suppose I could get "large" if I didn't have all of this involuntary movements. I'm happy with being slim, skinny, whatever you want to call it. I like to think of myself as being fit. This will induce chuckles from the family I'm sure!

Later in the day, I stopped by Dr. Skouge's (Jim's) office to request some assistance. His office was buzzing with activity! A group of students were in town from Miloli'i, visiting for an entire week to gain skills and knowledge in multimedia that they could take back to their home and possibly share with other youth. A very happening scene, indeed! I was glad I stopped by, and Jim was surprised to see me, but he was glad he could introduce me to his friends that I've come to know through editing videos and pictures.

On Tuesday, I stayed at home with my sister, Lynn. I slept in, which was really nice for a change. I woke up around 10:30 in the morning, Lynn helping me transfer into my chair. We planned to go to Blockbuster to rent a movie. After waking up and getting the cobwebs out of my head, we were ready to go. Unfortunately, we picked THE worst time to be outside. High noon, with the sun beaming mercilessly down.

"Lynn, should I put on sunscreen?" I asked.

"No, let's just go!" Lynn replies quickly.

"All righty," I hesitantly retort.

Off we head, down to Blockbuster, about a mile walk into Kailua town. Keep in mind, we're heading into the same territory that Lynn had reservations about my navigating through. But this time, I got my way and a risk taker I was going to be! We reach the infamous bridge, I decided to take a closer look at this marvelous structure with superior design. There was absolutely NO WAY my chair, 28" wide, was going to fit on this narrow pathway on the bridgeway! Oddly enough, there's a nice bike lane all the way down into the town. It ends abruptly at this bridge and continues on after the bridge...go figure! Here's a picture of the infamous bridgeway:
It might be difficult to tell how narrow this pathway is from this picture, but I did attempt to maneuver my chair on it. It's about 3" too narrow. If the sidewalk had just 4" more of width, I'd be able to use it safely!

Life is about making the most of what you have/don't have. "When you're thrown lemons, make lemonade!" Lynn and I came up with a plan that would have her watch the road for cars and as soon as she gave me the "all clear" alert, I would hurry and go onto the road across the bridge. Well, my chair moves at less than 5 miles per hour (on a good day, maybe it does hit 5mph), compare that to 35mph that cars can easily do...they can quickly come up on me from nowhere!

"Okay Brian, go for it!" Lynn yells out. Off I go, as fast as my little wheels can move me. Look what ends up happening:

There I am on the road in the traffic! Luckily, there was enough space on the right of traffic so I didn't get crushed (this time!). Hopefully someone with some power to make changes to Hawaii's roadways will read this and do some good....I'd certainly appreciate any attempts to resolve this dangerous situation. I don't venture into Kailua town a lot, I'm NOT saying that, but what I am saying is that I'd like the opportunity to travel into Kailua town if I choose to and do it in as safe a manner as possible (safe for myself AND for the cars on the roadway).

We reached Blockbuster safely, got into the comforts of an air conditioned building...that felt really good! A trip to Blockbuster, on the surface, would look to take nothing more than 5 minutes....you go in, get what you want and off you go...well, it never happens like that. There's such a vast collection and variety of movies that you get caught up in the whole situation and suddenly feel a need to peruse all the shelves (at least the 'New Releases') and lose track of time very quickly. Today, I would let Lynn pick the movie, I really had no preference as to what we watched. Up and down the aisles we went, at one point we picked up Thirteen, but then put it back in favor of a comedy, Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen. All told, we spent about an hour and forty-five minutes in Blockbuster!

Then it was time to look for my lunch. I love hamburger steak. If given the option, I really think I could eat hamburger steak on a daily basis! Would this be a healthy diet? Not exactly. But heck, I won't be on this Earth forever, so why not enjoy what you enjoy if it is within reason. L&L Drive Inn was right next door, and I like their hamburger steak so that's where we headed. We get in, and immediately the lady at the counter asks for the order.

"Um, can you give us a minute," Lynn says. I decide on a hamburger steak and chili combo plate with all rice.

"Okay, I'll take a hamburger steak and..."

Before Lynn can finish the sentence, the lady is calling to the back "Hamburger steak!"

"chili," Lynn finishes.

"And chili!" the lady calls back to the kitchen.

"Oh and I'd like all rice," Lynn reports.

"All rice!" the lady calls out again to the back.

We'd watch another customer come in and order, and the same process would occur. There IS no second guessing once you order! My order was made, and off Lynn and I were to the comforts of home, my lunch and a DVD in hand.

Walking home was even hotter, or so it seemed. We would take about 20 minutes to get home. I inspected the skin on my arms when we reached home. Ah, I escaped any sunburn...how about that!?!

We started the movie, I began eating, things were going well! The movie seemed entertaining enough. I finish eating and plop my chair by the TV next to the fan. In about 10 minutes, I was out cold, asleep! There's something about having a filling meal and then felling very sleepy, enough so you actually nod off! My sister enjoyed the whole movie.

About 90 minutes later, I awoke and went into my room to wash my face in the restroom. I come out into the living room and go, "Lynn look! My arm is all burned!"

My right arm had turned as red and pink as a lobster cooking in a pot! "Lynn, did you push me outside when I was sleeping?!" Wow, this was a bad case of sunburn. NOT surpising though, I was overdue for a bad burn being that my summer was almost done! My parents arrive home, and I show my mom my arm and she's flabbergasted. "Why didn't you put sunscreen?!"

"I asked to put some on, right Lynn?!" was my reply.

The affected area began to have that lovely itchy but sore feeling. You gotta love bad sunburn! Tourists in Waikiki walk around as red as a beet, seeming to be happy they've achieved that color. I don't "get" that at all! Skin cancer is the most prevalent form of cancer today. Definitely something not to take lightly at all.

The next day, Wednesday, I would attend football practice again. I was sure to wear long sleeves again. Wednesday was a hot, hot day. I made sure I kept drinking fluids to keep myself hydrated.

I was able to enjoy dinner at the dorm cafe with my friends. Wednesday was the first day that students could move into the dorms, so the area was abundant with people and action. There was a mini-concert going on, along with a little welcoming fair for the new students. One thing that comes with "move in" day is GIRLS. Lots and lots of them. Suffice it to say, the football team, after being in camp with one another for so long, was extremely happy to see the opposite sex. "You gotta keep your head on a swivel!" was a common utterance on this evening. I had dinner with Lamar, and he was hooting and hollering at girls. I kindly reminded him of an incident he had the previous week, one that left him with his ego in check. He was caught off guard by my comment, and prior to this he had been on me about "driving under the influence," as he claims I was driving erratically after practice. I may be silent, but when I do have something to say, I make it count! "Woah, B! That was low!" And then he got quiet...really quiet.

"Why are you so quiet all of a sudden?" I asked.

"Man, I'm thinking of a good one, don't worry I'll be back at ya!" was his reply.

After a while, we started laughing at the whole situation. Prior to this year, Lamar wasn't one to say much. He kept to himself. He stayed in Hawaii all summer this year to train, and I think he's finally gotten used to the whole situation. He finally feels comfortable being himself!

That's a neat process to watch; seeing players enter the program trying to feel their way through it, taking it all in, and then one day realizing, "Hey I'm in Hawaii! How great is this?!" Then, and only then, do they truly begin to enjoy themselves and excel on the field and in the classroom.

Lamar and I said our goodbyes; he wished me a safe trip home. I went on my way, first visiting Doug. He was busy doing photo editing using PhotoShop. He was nice enough to take some time to help me do what I needed to do, and I stayed at his office for a little bit, enjoying the Olympics on television and watching him use PhotoShop. He created an amazing piece while I was there, combining two different photos so that it looked like one. "Wow," I thought, "I really need to learn PhotoShop! It can do so much more than iPhoto." I'll hopefully have time over the course of the semester to get into PhotoShop and really learn it.

Thursday I spent cleaning my desk in my room at home. Lynn was nice enough to help me with this. Cleaning my desk is always a chore, to say the least. I'm one who likes to keep all my work from school, along with all of my textbooks. I keep thinking, "what if I need to refer to this in the future?! I better keep it." Have I made reference or used any of my materials collected from the past 8+ years? On a few occasions actually, but it'd be so much easier and neater if I only learned to throw away stuff!!!

On Friday, I knew that it would most likely be the last practices I'd attend for this edition of fall camp. It was another hot day. I made sure I protected myself from the sun, putting a towel around my neck. I also tried to drink as much water as I could.

At dinner, a funny thing happened. Basically, one of my friends, I'll let him remain anonymous, attempted to "impress" a girl. So, at dinner he starts talking to her, and then comes and rejoins me for dinner. During this time, another player (who'll I'll also have remain anonymous) comes and joins us. He plays QB, and QB's have more "star power" than anyone on the team...in most instances. So, my friend waves this girl over to our table...introduces his dinner partners to her.."This is my friend, B. This is Joe Bob (a pseudo-name I've chosen)."

Joe Bob gets up to get more food, and this is when all heck breaks loose. This girl absolutely loses it! "Oh my god! That's Joe Bob! I've been waiting to meet him ever since last year! Oh my god, oh my god!"

My friend's reaction was priceless...he couldn't believe what was happening! "Are you serious?! Man, I play football, too!!!" I sat there just cracking up. His attempt to be gentlemanly backfired!

Joe Bob comes back, and my friend tells him what this girl had just said. Joe Bob just starts cracking up! We couldn't stop laughing for the entire time we were at dinner.

On the way back to the athletic complex, my friend asks me, "Man, what's wrong with me?!"

"You ain't Joe Bob!" was my reply. He started laughing again.

This fall camp was enjoyable. Each year it seems to be a platform for ME to build new relationships, and it allows people to see me as more than "the guy who always comes to practices."

Saturday - My bowling woes continue. Earlier in the week, during a meal, another friend, Jack, asked me how I was doing with bowling. I told him I was struggling big time, explaining that I would have a bad game and then I'd start thinking too much about that game and that would affect my proceeding games.

"One and clear, buddy! Just like us, if I throw an interception or a touchdown, I just need to clear my mind and focus on the next series!" I appreciated hearing those words, competitive people know how it feels like NOT to do good. It just eats at your insides, and you begin to try, too, hard to fix the situation.

In any case, I approached Saturday with a positive attitude. This was going to be a good day! Practice went well enough. First game, I stumble out of the blocks, barely breaking a score of a hundred. Terrible!

"One and clear," I told myself. Second game was just as abysmal...I was or am in a slump! That's it...that's gotta be it! By then, I was NOT a happy camper. I was ready to get out of that bowling alley, but I still had one more game to bowl.

I really can't get lower than this...first frame, I either had a split or missed a spare I should have converted...details are a bit fuzzy. But, after that frame I picked up some momentum. In bowling, momentum of a positive nature is so key if one is to experience ANY success! I was picking up spares when I needed to, I didn't leave myself with difficult second shots. I finally felt comfortable!

On the tenth frame, I blew it. I left an easy spare shot I really should have picked up. Grrrrrr. But, on a positive note I ended with a score of a 189! I was still bitter about my overall performance. I'm hard on myself in that regard. I expect myself to do good! If I don't, I suppose I become sour. I don't think it's being a poor sport...not smiling, I don't think anyone would or should smile if they perform poorly. It's not sulking either, it's my way of taking out my frustrations. I don't smile, don't laugh, I have a stern and serious disposition.

This will continue on for the better part of the afternoon, until I come home and cool down a bit. Next week WILL be a better week, I'm sure. The University of Hawaii's Mortar Board chapter is scheduled to volunteer at bowling next week. It should be fun...it WILL be fun.

My final hours of summer. Wow, I start school again tomorrow. I have an important meeting in the morning, we're meeting with a couple project sites via a teleconference. Not before I catch the first early morning practice of the season, on the grass fields of lower campus. Players will be bright eyed and bushy tailed by 7am, to hear the coaches bark out directions and instructions.

Randomness of the week:

I received an e-mail from a complete stranger after this person read about my recent appointment to DCAB's board in the monthly newsletter. It was neat to receive an e-mail like that, but it also reminded me that I need to be cognizant of how much information I put out for people to read about me. I also realized how much of an impact I can have on the community, I need to use my abilities to do as much good as I can. I did respond to this e-mail, thanking the reader for taking the time to write to me.

I also found out that this blog is being read by more people than I thought! One day, my dad comes home and shows me a printout that a spouse of one of his co-workers had printed out. It was my blog! I told my dad, "wow, even I can't find my own site if I do a Google!" It's neat, but yet another reminder that my writing can be read by ANYONE out there. I must be as honest and open as I can, but still protect myself by not revealing ALL. Besides, isn't there something to be said about the mystery of people, leading to heightened intrigue?!

My good friend, Ed, e-mailed me, asking if I went to the high school reunion. This is our 10-year mark, and no I didn't go. I guess I wasn't compelled to attend because everyone I hung out with during high school aren't living in Hawaii anymore. Sure, I knew many people, but those others were just acquaintances, nothing of substantial relationships. Instead of paying $50 to see people I hardly know, and who hardly know me for me, I'd prefer to hold off and wait until all of my friends have time to come back to Hawaii and have some get together with them.

A picture of what torments me these days:

Is it me, or is this blurry?! Ah, maybe its my eyesight playing tricks on me!

A videoclip of me bowling

Have a great Fall semester, everyone!!!

Additional Thoughts

My weekend has flown by. Saturday was a good day, overall. Prior to going to bowling, we dropped my sister, Lynn, off at the eye doctor for her check-up.

Lori needed to look for shoes, so we went to Sports Authority. I love sporting goods stores; its like a potential treasure hunt waiting to happen! I really had no intentions on looking for anything in particular, nor did I need anything. Immediately, I noticed a display for Under Armour products and took interest. Under Armour is a brand of sportswear; really made well and comfortable stuff. It's somewhat rare to find their products in stores in Hawaii, so I took a while looking through the variety of products that were there.

I love hats. I probably have 50 caps. My mom always asks me, "How many heads do you have, Brian?" I reply, "One, Mom." "Then why do you have so many caps?!" "Hmm, because I just like 'em!" Anyway, I found a nice Under Armour cap and proceeded to find my mom and sister by the shoes.

Having me anywhere near shoes is highly dangerous. I'm bound to find a pair I like! There were a pair of white and green Air Jordan's that were released a few weeks back. I'm a size 9, which is one of the more popular sizes of men's shoes. I haven't seen any shops with this particular model of Jordan's, the Jordan IV. I browsed the shoe section, and found the Jordan area. A whole slew of boxes stacked to the ceiling; really not a great system to showcase prooducts. Unless a customer is patient and searches through the mass of boxes. I'm a patient person, and proceeded to take a look at what was there. "Air Jordan Retro IV" immediately caught my eye. Size 10...rats, too big! There wasn't a 9 to be found in plain view; by then my sister was done searching and had come to alert me that we were leaving.

"Help me find a size 9," I asked Lori.

"Come on, we need to go!" she retorts.

"Let's ask the salesperson for help."

"Fine." And Lori proceeds to flag down a salesperson for help.

"A size 9? Let's see," the saleslady said as she moved the many boxes. "Ah, here we go. A size 9, right?"

"Thank you!" my sister replies. "Okay Brian, hurry up! Let's go. I'll be waiting outside."

So, I hurry and pay for my merchandise and off we were.

Bowling started off decent enough. I had an average start. My second game was even better, my confidence was starting to rise! My doubles partner (we wager for entertainment puposes as to how we score), Roland, had a decent second game as well, so we took the jackpot for doubles. I was happy to have helped Roland win; we haven't won in a while.

Confidence and happy feelings went bye bye as quick as they arrived. My final game was yet another horrendous performance in this ever so young season. A sub-100 game...ouch! I left the bowling alley feeling befuddled, trying to search for what went wrong. "You only can go up from here!" I'll bounce back soon enough. Often times, I can overanalyze situations, which only complicates matters even more. I WILL bowl better soon!

Just a couple hours ago, we said goodbye to Lori as she departed for Washington. She starts another semester, her senior year, in about a week. I know she'll have another great semester!

Tomorrow will be a full day of practice. Morning session for about 3 hours. A short break, and then its another 2 hour session in the afternoon! I can't wait for morning to come!


Lori leaving Hawaii for school in Washington

Getting Ready to Rock 'N Roll

As I sit here, pondering why my knuckle on my right pinky finger is sore, I am less than 8 days away from the fall semester. Once August 23rd comes, as they say, "It's rock 'n roll time!" This fall will be crazy, I just know that already. Combine work duties, class duties, civic duties, social engagements, etc. and that makes for one BUSY schedule. Am I aprrehensive about it? I'd be lying if I said I wasn't...I am just a little skeptical that I'll actually make it to December and still have my sanity! Am I excited about the schedule? Very much so!

Each year, I keep telling myself, "Wow, nothing can top the year I just had," but life is such that you never really know what lies around the corner. Each year is like reading a whole new installment of J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter; you finish the latest book as fast as you can and then become so eager to read the next book...but then realize, you'll need to wait a whole year or more for the next one to be published, so you resort to re-reading past books and then read the current book again. Am I a fan of Harry Potter? No! In fact, I haven't read ANY of the books, nor have I seen the major motion film versions. But, I do have sisters, and boy you can learn a whole lot from them!

In any case, this year appears to be one that will have major implications on my future. Another such year, off the top of my head, was 2001, when I was an active member of the Hui Po'okela Mortar Board (the University of Hawaii's chapter of the National Honor Society for Seniors). I've written about Mortar Board in a prior entry, but I'll go a little more in-depth just for the sake of completing my story. I was inducted in April 2001, and prior to this, candidates need to go through a whole application process, which incluudes an interview portion with the interviews conducted by current members. I did my interview electronically, I believe we resorted to using a chatting function that allowed us to communicate in real-time via text. I was happy they were accommodating in that regard. During the interview, they'd throw out your occassional question that makes you go "What the heck is this group about?!" "If you could be a tree, what tree would you be?" or "Can you tell us a joke?" So, I endured all of this...but one thing stuck in my mind. More than once, I was told of Mortar Board member's requirements over the course of the year-long term..."You know members need to participate in 10 service projects and chair at least 2....Do you think you can handle this aspect of membership?" At the time, I gave an honest answer to the effect of, "I really don't know, but I'd sure love the opportunity to try." As I reflected back, I realized they were questioning MY abilities!

I LOVE it when my abilities are question. I'm one who takes it as a challenge to demonstrate that I am as capable as the next person. "Tell me I can't, I'll show you I CAN" is one of the mottos that I adhere to in my approach to life. So, I took completing the service project requirements as a challenge. By the time summer ended, I was 1 project away from completing my quota. At first, I thought I'd stop after finishing the minimum. But the more and more I participated in these projects, the more I grew to enjoy them and actually looked forward to the next one! I did hit the magic number of 10, but didn't stop there. "Can you handle 10 projects?" Yes I can, and then some! I helped clean and paint the park by Kaimuki High School with my friend Lynnett; Lynnett is one of those people you meet and has an impact on you for the rest of your life. We went to that beautification project, not knowing a whole lot about one another, but she took charge and said, "Okay Brian, do you want to paint or help me wash screens first?" I believe we washed screens, and then we proceeded to paint.

I suppose a recurring image of a person with a disability in society is that of a lazy, frail individual who doesn't do more than necessary...s/he won't push her/himself to the limit. This image is far from reality. Sure, you will find individuals who fit this mold that society has constructed of them, but I would argue that the amount is really low. On that same note, those who don't fit this mold cast upon them by society aren't superheroes. They are simply living their lives!

Admiration for what someone does IN SPITE of a disability and raising their status to "superhero", is NOT admiration; that is called handing out chairty. Admiring someone for what they do WITH a disability is called respect. "Respect is earned, not given."

Other memorable projects I participated in is the Honolulu Marathon starting line. I can recall attending a UH Warrior football game earlier that day, I believe it might have been the awesome beating of BYU, a despised rival! My sister, Lynn, had arrived back from school in Oregon and attended the game with my parents and I. The project called for us to be there at midnight....why did I choose to attend this project, when in fact I didn't have to? Well, how many opportunities does one have to be a part of the Honolulu Marathon and be up at the crazy hours after midnight? I speak only for myself, but there aren't many opportunities like this! So, there I was, at 11:30pm waking up from a short nap, thinking "what the heck am I doing?!" And on top of that, I recruited my sister, Lynn, to come along! I was there along with about 10 other eager, but tired Mortar Board members, led by Taron (thanks for being THE first person to leave me a comment, Taron!). I was stationed by the entrance for the tour bus parking, I was to direct these huge busses into Ala Moana Beach Park. At first, the adrenaline had me chipper and excited to be there. Eventually, it became a chore to say the least. It began to rain and a rain at 3 in the morning makes for chilly conditions! By the time 6am came, and the runners ran by us, I was ready to head home for a long, long nap. My sister was even more ready to do the same. Those projects are just a couple that stand out in my mind; I ended up with about 30 projects. I was proud and felt fulfilled by the time my term was completed.

Soon, I'll be chronicling my semester and all the fun that will unfold. This week, I took time to enjoy something that I love...UH Warrior football. Monday at 3pm, was the first practice. It was more of a way to get everyone used to the idea of practicing; nothing major was accomplished. However, the team held their conditioning test. Players, by their position, had to run 220-yards, ten times under a certain amount of time. This is a greuling test of the mind, body, and spirit...coaches use it to see who's in-shape and who needs extra work. It was great being back out there around the guys...admittedly, lots of the players I knew, and players who knew me (more than just the guy in the chair), but still it was neat to go out there and hear, "Hey B!" "Bri, what's going on you snapper head?!" "B's in the house!" etc. I knew I belonged, I should be there.

After running, Lamar (a defensive player) comes up to me and says, "Yeah, I did that sh*t again, because of you, man. I saw you sitting there and I told myself 'Nothing is impossible, you just gotta fight through it sometimes!' Two out of the three years ain't bad huh?!" I nodded affirmatively. Earlier in the practice, he pulled his groin, but he didn't let that stop him from practicing. Things like that help motivate/inspire me to go all out no mattter what.

Later, Lamar and I would converse over dinner. Players have little time to eat and relax, before having to attend meetings to go over film and to learn different plays/coverages, so dinner is often a rushed aspect. So, I resorted to my paper/pen to communicate, just because it was "there" and it was easier to write and eat, as opposed to taking out my DynaWrite. I KNOW eventually, I will use the DynaWrite...I'm still getting accustomed to having it at my disposal. During our conversation, I told him that I was going to be a GA this fall. He was genuinely happy for me, and said "Hell yeah! That's hella cool, man. You go do your thing!"

It's a neat feeling to be supportive of one another's activities...I support him as a football player, and he supports me as a student. There's a mutual respect. We said our goodbyes for the day, and his parting comment was "You best have your ass out here tomorrow, you can't be missing practices!"

On Tuesday, I wasn't planning on coming into town, but my friend, Lissa, had called and asked if we could meet up as she was leaving for Oregon on the 18th. Lissa and I have been friends since my final semester as an undergraduate. We were classmates in Norma Jean Stodden's class, and I believe we "met" because we did a group project together. I felt like a fish out of water in that class...there I was, only 1 of 2 undergraduates amongst 20 graduate/doctorate students.

I suppose through a natural progression, Lissa and I forged a friendship. We'd discuss our project and then talk about whatever else was on our minds. On a few occassions, we hung out just to hang out...I enjoyed that. During that semester, I relayed the fact that I was graduating soon and was debating whether or not to continue on with graduate school. Lissa was one of the first persons to tell me that I definitely should attend, and my qualities were such that I'd make for an excellent candidate in Counseling & Guidance, the program she was completing that same semester. So, essentially I'm in graduate school, doing the things I'm doing, thanks in large part to Lissa, planting that seed in my mind that, yes, it was a plausible idea to pursue.

On Tuesday, it was a chance for us to say our goodbyes, but more importantly, to catch up on each other's going ons. We hadn't seen each other in a while, as she lives an incredibly busy life and my life is somewhat busy at the moment. So, it was nice....Dr. Skouge allowed me to use the office as a meeting place. After a while, Lissa did get chilly, but that's a bit odd considering she's an Oregonian at heart AND is moving back to Oregon, home of ducks, rain, and cold! Go figure... Anyway, she suggested we find a warmer climate, so off we went. We went back to her dorm, and chatted for a bit longer. She induced me to play air hockey, and I'm not one to pass up any form of competition. I've never played air hockey before, but all excuses aside, she whipped me pretty good! I did score a few goals, though!

Soon, it was time to say our goodbyes. I'm not one who enjoys goodbyes, I've seen too many friends find greener pastures on the mainland over the years. And still, it never becomes easy. But, of course, keeping in touch these days is easy...we literally can be in touch with the click of a few buttons! So, I know Lissa and I will maintain our friendship, while she develops herself professionally at Oregon, so she can pursue her career goals. I definitely have the confidence that she will end up doing what she wants to do, and do a wonderful job as well!

And, as she mentioned, this wasn't a goodbye forever....she does have a roundtrip ticket! So, we'll see each other when she returns for a visit, probably in December. I'll miss her presence her, though...no question about that. Aloha and good luck, Lissa!

In a few hours, I'll say goodbye to my sister, Lori, who's returning to Washington for another semester of school. Time just flew by while she was here and in her final days of enjoying home, she was busy finishing up shopping and all that good stuff. We didn't have time to do an interview, and I felt it wasn't proper to rush through such an undertaking. So, for the time being, at least, its on hold. Jim reminded me that there's always the telephone, should we need to conduct interviews. It looks like that will be the route we take with this.

My other sister, Lynn, leaves for Oregon in September so we still have quite a bit of time left to enjoy/loathe each other's company. Actually, I do enjoy her company...we do have an odd way of getting along...

On Wednesday, I stayed at home with my sisters. I told them that if they picked up some Cold Stone ice cream and lunch from Teddy's Burger from down the road, I'd treat them as well. Originally, my plan was to travel down to Kailua town on my chair and Lynn would drive down by car. But, Lynn pointed out that it probably wasn't the safest for me to venture down to the tow, as there's construction going on, plus there's an area along the way that requires me to feel like I'm in a Frogger video game and maneuver my way on the street, with traffic zooming past me. A very hazardous situation, but one that has existed for year's on end. There's a bridge with a very, very narrow sidewalk just as you enter Kailua town. There's no way a wheelchair could fit on that walkway, no way at all. All it needs is about 6 inches more of witdth, and it'd solve the problem! So, if anyone from the State or City & County Roadway Planning Commission is reading this, your attention to this matter would be greatly appreciated!

On Thursday, I attended another function of the Disability and Communnication Access Board (DCAB), this time it was a Committee on Communication Access (CAC) meeting. As a board member, I'm also serving on the CAC. The foootball team had a morning practice, so I attended that and then went to my meeting. My ride to the meeting, arranged by DCAB, was an accessible cab. They were late, for the second time (2 out of 2 times...bad odds so far!) and in turn I was late to this meeting. However, once I got there, things went as well as they could have. I was happy to see a familiar face in Sterling when I arrived. Immediately, I was reminded how feeble a mind I have as there were a ton of accronyms (okay, only about 4 were mention, but still it felt like a lot!) being discussed, and I sat there trying to decipher the first one I heard! I noticed that most, if not all, of the issues that the CAC discussed were related to the deaf and hearing impaired community. The reason for this is that almost all of the committee members are deaf or hearing impaired. I hope to share and bring up a new perspective, representing the speech impaired community and augmentative communication users alike.

After the meeting, the President of the Board, Dr. Lucy Miller, and I met, just so she could better orient me to the going ons of DCAB and the CAC. This was a helpful meeting as I got to ask questions and Lucy, in turn, got to know a little more about what I bring to the Board.

It looks like it will be one hectic, but awesome Fall semester. I'm ready to rock 'n roll...Are you?!

Randomness of the week:

My sisters have fun preparing my dad's dinner plate


Brian enjoys lunch from Teddy's Burgers


Pictures from UH Warrior football camp


Brian getting "in the zone" prior to bowling


Lori & I

Mama Said There'd Be Days Like This...

T-minus 2 weeks and counting until the Fall 2004 semester starts. I'm excited about getting things started up again in terms of making progress towards earning my Masters in Education from Counseling & Guidance (with a Vocational Rehabilitation emphasis), but there is still that little boy in me who wishes summer would never end!

This past week, I would sum up as blah. "Blah" is a word defined by Webster's Dictionary, but the way I use the term means that the week won't be one that I'll be quick to remember when reflecting back on my summer.

It started off fair enough though. On Tuesday, I met with my VR counselors to discuss my upcoming employment during the fall and making a plan to allow me to keep my benefits as a person with a disability, while earning income from work. There's a common thought among the disability community that disability benefits (SSI, Medicaid, etc) are set up in such a way that makes one feel like it would put them at a DISadvantage to actually work and make a go at it. This is a complicated matter, and one I won't discuss in-depth at this time. Essentially, the argument is such that, "Why should I work X amount of hours to earn Y amount of income, when I can earn more than Y amount by simply living (and not working). On top of that, should I earn more than Z amount, I could lose my Y amount all together, and simply living off of the earned income would place me at a distinct disadvantage." I probably didn't explain it clearly, but you get the picture...it's a messy issue to deal with, but one that holds serious implications.

Getting back to my Tuesday meeting, I had arranged it a few days prior, and it was such a neat feeling to be able to say/state, "Perhaps, we could meet at my office." Of course, being that I haven't fully adjusted to having this situation of actually having a space I can call "home" away from home, I cleared it with Dr. Skouge (Jim), who is THE actual office "owner." Jim quickly said something to the effect of sure, that's no problem at all and there's really no need to ask since it's your office, too. This, perhaps, was when the light bulb went off in my head that, "Wow, I actually have a space on campus!" I suppose after being a campus dweller for 8+ years, one could almost have a space by default...I did/do not think that way. I see every opportunity as being earned, NOTHING is given to you in life...if there's anything that has stuck with me throughout my life, it is this.

Prior to this, I guess my home away from home on campus that I felt most comfortable and welcomed would have been the grass fields of Lower Campus, where the University of Hawaii Warrior Football team practices and works out throughout the year. I've been extremely lucky to be one of the few "outsiders," who has been taken in (accepted) by the team each season and have been a part of all the highs and lows that a season brings. Coach June Jones, from his arrival in 1999 to this very day, has been so welcoming and embracing of my presence around the team. You know someone really cares about you when they take the time to ask you, "How's school going? You passing all your courses, right?!" Why do I bring up football? This week officially begins the Warrior football season, as fall camp begins. Fall camp provides the team to practice as a unit under the direction of coaches (there's a "down" time, where players/coaches can't have any contact related to football instruction) and it is an opportunity for the team to bond. Players will see no one other than their teammates for the next 2 weeks straight, they'll live together under the same roof...wake up, eat breakfast, attend meetings, practice/workout, eat lunch, attend more meetings, practice, eat dinner, attend even more meetings, and then call it a day all as ONE unit. It's really a neat process to watch and absorb; players will create friendships with one another that will far exceed their days as teammates on a football team; there will be mini-battles during practices, where one might want to knock the snot out of another, but once practice ends, those same two players can be seen sharing a laugh over a meal; players will pull pranks on one another, and then the rest of camp will become a test of who can out prank whom...really great stuff!

In any case, my meeting with my VR counselors went over quite well. I expressed my feelings clearly, and we made sure that we (my counselors and I) were on the same page. Jim came in at one point during the meeting and provided even more words of support on my behalf, which he's done so many times since we've reconnected. This fall will make one-year since we've been developing our relationship, after being disconnected for some time. I truly appreciate all of the support, guidance, and encouragement he has and is providing me.

On Wednesday, I woke up with a migraine headache as I chronicled in my last entry. That night, I went to bed, excited to wake up refreshed and feeling good. Again, as I've mentioned, things don't always pan out the way you hope.

On Thursday, I awoke to a lingering pain in my head. I suppose I could have waved my little white flag and surrendered to what my body was telling me...I needed to rest...but I quickly threw that idea out, as I knew we would be having an important teleconference regarding the project that Dr. David Leake is spearheading. And being that he has the confidence in Jim's belief that I would be a good candidate to participate in this, and take on a Graduate Assistant position, I felt I had no choice but to attend. So, I took 3 Advils, and off to work I went. I didn't take 4, only because I felt a little better than the day before and I didn't want to take more medicine than I really needed. This began what would become a day filled with blunders and mistakes.

I arrived on campus before 7am, and already I felt less than 100%. I was going to make the most of this day, regardless. Task one involved duplicating a DVD for Jim's colleague, Dr. Rhonda Black. Did I really know how to go about doing this? Honestly, no. Was I eager to explore and try? Most certainly. Thus, I began my process of learning by trial..and hopefully minimal error. I did a test run, using a "cheaper" DVD disc. A click here, a click there, and voila, it seemed to be doing it! Now came the true test...playing the DVD in another machine...did it work? Yes! It was a mixture of accomplishment and relief. So, I proceeded to create another copy using a high-quality disc. DVD duplication is a process of time, waiting, and patience. So, I prepared to get myself mentally ready for this teleconference, really not knowing what to expect.

I arrived back at the office from a visit to KOKUA and the restroom, to find Jim already engaged in conversation with Dr. Leake. This was a brief conversation, mainly to get us in the loop as to what was to unfold. After concluding this preliminary conversation with Dr. Leake, Jim and I exchanged pleasantries and what not. I told him that I wasn't feeling my best due the effects of my migraine, but that I would do my best. Jim commented, "I knew something was wrong as soon as you came in the door." Little comments like this help to confirm the fact that, yes, indeed a relationship is being forged here. "Don't push yourself too hard," Jim commented to me.

Our teleconference was very helpful, at least for myself, since I got to hear where everyone else was from/coming from in terms of approaches to this project. I won't get into details about our conference, but my concluding statement to the group was something to the effect of, "It was nice meeting you all and I'd like to stress the importance of having fun with this project!" It's probably a natural reaction to get caught up in one's work involving research and almost take on a mechanical approach to one's task. In order to do the very best on anything, the person doing the task needs to find some way to connect themselves to it and have fun! It's okay to have fun while working! I get to experience this first-hand each and every time I go into work at Jim's office. Case studies...this term reminds me of people who are deceased and no longer with us. Our project is NOT dealing with people who have passed on, but rather with people who are here and living in this very moment! Let's enable these individuals to share their stories in such a way that will be just as empowering and meaningful to them, as the results of their shared stories will be valuable for the benefactors of this project, namely Special Education transition teachers/specialists and other educators.

Teleconferencing with other professionals was a whole new ballgame for me; I didn't want to say anything that would make me look silly, for I know I'm essentially representing the University of Hawaii in the broader picture, and I always want to have the University be seen in as positive a light as possible. During this meeting, I'd jot down notes for Dr. Skouge, and one note read, "Remember, we need to maintain our integrity!" when it appeared Jim was about to embark on a tangent that was of another universal plane. I think his actions were great in retrospect, as it probably made the rest of the group loosen up to some degree and see that, yes, this must be fun!

After the conference, Jim and I took a moment to discuss what had transpired. It's good to always have a moment of debriefing.

Once we had finished exchanging thoughts and feelings, Jim suggested that I proceed with making the CD's of media that needed to go out for his 445 course. He wanted me to learn about the concept of making disc images, and showed me how to create them and then transfer them to CD. I proceeded to tackle this task, knowing that the CD's had to be mailed ASAP since students are across the state of Hawaii. I completed, what I thought were, original CD's that were ready to be burned.

Before I completed the originals, I messaged my mom using Yahoo Messenger that I needed Advil. She replied, "I'll come by with the Advil!" Jim mentioned that he was headed out to get some food, as he was hungry, so I asked if he'd pick-up something for me since I knew I'd need to fill my stomach with substance to avoid having the Advil cause me irritation. Now, an important fact to set-up this story is that I've NEVER asked for food or have eaten anything offered to me at Jim's office. I usually block out my hunger and focus on my assignment for the day. So, the fact that I asked for food concerned Jim, as he then knew even more that I was NOT feeling good at all. By chance, my mom came by just as he was leaving so he saw that I had food; he wouldn't need to worry about getting anything. I decided to request Advil in a liquid-gel form since I thought it might work faster. Normally I'm able to take up to 4 Advils (of the regular tab variety, when my headaches are severe, and not feel any ill-effects), so I figured I'd take 3 of these gel pills. I finished my food (a hamburger and fries) and resumed my work.

Once Jim returned, I went to the CRC (the Education department's library and technology resource center) to make mass duplicates of our CD's. I brought a new spindle of CD's with me, and began to burn copies. After the completing the second set of CD's (each disc required 7 copies), I thought I'd test out some of these copies just to make sure they work. That was smart. I realized that the original source CD that I made was not created properly. I immediately halted any further duplicating and went back to the office. I informed Jim that I had goofed, and asked for help as to how to create the original disc properly. Admitting that you don't know how to do something is extremely key in any learning opportunity. Instead of chastising me for wasting a bunch of CD's, Jim said, "Don't worry, we're learning here!" I really needed to hear that, for I felt bad for wasting so many CD's and just messing up so much.

Without dragging the story out further, the positive in all of this comedy of errors is that I got the job done! I successfully created the sets, organized each set into separate bags, and had them ready to go out the next day with Effie's help. I also created sets of CD's that would go out to each project site for Dr. Leake's grant. One CD has the documentary that a classmate had produced with assistance from the College of Tropical Agriculture and Human Resources (CTAHR); Mark Yap and Doug Hamasaki were the producers. The other CD contained the piece that Dr. Skouge had produced just last year where he interviewed me one day at the KOKUA office.

So, it would be a fair statement that my Thursday was not a great day at all. And as my title for this entry states, mama said there'd be days like this, my mama said...but she also said that I had to overcome them, regardless of how bad they might be. I came home and crashed for a good 3 hours. That helped a lot.

Would that be the end of my woes for the week? Not at all! On Friday, I stayed home and rested, enjoying the company of my sisters. A much needed day of rest. My grandparents would fly in from the Big Island (Hawaii) later in the afternoon for a visit. It was nice to have them come.

On Saturday, my bowling league resumed after about a month's break. I was eager to get back to bowling. I take my bowling very seriously and expect to do my very best each time I bowl. My average hovers around 145, I think that could improve a bit. My idea of a decent bowling average is 150+. I bowled absolutely horribly...one of the very worst bowling performances I've ever had...it eats at me inside when I do terribly.

I quickly had to squash any frustration lingering in my being as I was headed to Jim's office to "interview" my sisters for our project. Jim had other ideas, however, and viewed it as an opportunity to "talk story" and aim for another date on which interviews would be conducted. This turned out to be a wise, wise decision..I have much confidence and trust in what Jim says and does. Our "talk story" session was 2 hours of great discussion amongst my sisters, mom, Jim, and I. More concrete plans/ideas will evolve from this meeting as Jim and I engage in dialogue this week.

A few random pictures for your enjoyment (and mine as well!):

Look at what movie I actually
went (paid!) to see!


Jim in his mode of controlled chaos as he teaches his
SPED 445 course!

Fun with a Migraine Headache

Today my sister, Lynn, arrived back from Oregon for a short visit before the Fall semester begins. Here are a couple pictures to celebrate the occasion (or is it to loathe it?):

Happy to be home...how long will this last?!



"Oh joy, my sisters invade my room no sooner they arrive home!"

Today I endured a migraine headache all day. Migraine headaches are possibly the worst things someone can experience; they totally render you useless! However, I knew I was going into work today...I had a task to complete...Dr. Skouge had CD's that needed to be duplicated for his course, so students would receive them before the next conference call. So, I took 4 Advils and off to work I went. That was fine, I felt decent enough to be out.

Life won't always go as planned. There are some people who are constantly busy and have a billion things going on in their lives; I admire and respect that! Jim is such a person. So, in the end, the CD's weren't ready to be duplicated, but I worked as best I could on other tasks.

I knew I was leaving early for the day, as my sister arrived home around mid-day, and my mom was driving everyone (the family) home. And I didn't want her to make another trip back for me, so I decided to leave when they were heading home. I was happy to see my sister, Lynn.

Before Jim and I said our byes for the day, we did have a good discussion. We talked about ideas for the Fall. Maybe I'm feeling the effects of my migraine, but admittedly I'm feeling some anxiety and stress over what is to unfold in a few weeks. I KNOW being a Graduate Assistant will entail lots of work...however, being that this will be my first attempt at balancing a full-time gig (at least by student-employment standards), I'd be lying if I said I wasn't concerned about my abilities to satisfactorily perform my duties as both a GA and a student.

My #1 priorities are my academics and family. I take extreme pride in doing the very best I can on my school work (papers, exams, presentations, etc.). I either go all out and commit myself fully or I don't commit at all. I don't do anything (or try not to) half-assed; I know some people can get by with putting forth less than a full effort. I'm NOT that person.

With that said, Jim has commented, "Don't worry, I won't allow this (the GA'ship) to kill you." I appreciate those words and I truly believe his sincerity. Along those same lines, I'm hoping to reciprocate those feelings by maybe reminding Jim not to overextend himself to the point that it starts affecting his health. We ALL know that being healthy is so very vital; if we're not 100% health-wise, we can't do all the good that we strive for! I do care, thus I am writing this...

Apologies in advance for the erratic nature of this entry. Writing is somewhere that I can find some peace, in an odd sense by expressing my feelings, I feel calmed. My headache is reminding me that I need to get my sleep...